Just Meh ☕️ 🌷
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mikebuettner.bsky.social
Just Meh ☕️ 🌷
@mikebuettner.bsky.social
Coffee dependent. Almost life like.
Pinned
‘Maybe today will be the day’ I tell myself heading to the car to drive to work

*walks face first thru spider web*

‘When will I learn’ I remind myself
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Touching grass to pick up dogshit still counts, right?
November 14, 2025 at 11:04 PM
You’re at AC

I need you at DC
You're at Nine Inch.

I need you at Nails.
You’re at Grateful

I need you at Dead
November 11, 2025 at 10:55 PM
You’re at Grateful

I need you at Dead
You're at Goo Goo.

I need you at Dolls.
youre at butthole
i need you at surfers
November 11, 2025 at 10:52 PM
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Sometimes I get jealous of people who are retiring, then I remember they’re nearing the end of their natural lifespan and I get even more jealous.
November 11, 2025 at 12:31 PM
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We’re all fucked.

You’re not special.
November 26, 2024 at 11:43 PM
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I lost the method to my madness.
November 8, 2025 at 6:27 AM
Many moons ago @mamafirefly.bsky.social said the words ‘pierogi pizza’ and I immediately wondered how I had not heard these words before.
Tonight we find out. Assuming the recipe wasn’t completely buggered….
November 9, 2025 at 12:34 AM
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I always wear latex gloves when I chop jalapenos due to an unfortunate fingering incident with my wife back in 2007.
November 8, 2025 at 11:41 PM
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Is your wedding going to be open casket
May 24, 2024 at 1:39 AM
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Happy birthday Marie Curie, you would have loved PPE
November 7, 2025 at 1:54 PM
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Doctor: you really need to drink more water

Me: *adds ice cubes to vodka*

Doctor: touché
January 17, 2025 at 2:41 AM
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Opinions are like assholes except that I’ve never had a zucchini shoved up my opinion
November 4, 2025 at 5:42 PM
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It’s that awkward three day period between Halloween and Christmas.
November 2, 2025 at 9:08 AM
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I wanted to be something really, truly terrifying for Halloween this year but i don't know how to dress up as intimacy & commitment.
October 31, 2025 at 8:35 PM
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Fuck being the bigger person, be the bigger problem.
October 29, 2025 at 2:33 PM
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Female dragonflies fake their own death to avoid mating with an unwanted partner and frankly, I’m inspired by that level of self care
October 28, 2025 at 11:14 PM
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Not sure I want an extra hour.
October 26, 2025 at 7:46 AM
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Who peed in the dating pool?
October 23, 2025 at 7:02 PM
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If you're not willing to even guess if this looks infected, then why did you become an Amazon delivery driver?
October 26, 2025 at 10:41 AM
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If this gets reskeeted 483,000 times I’ll buy a miniature donkey.
October 22, 2025 at 1:56 AM
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Of course I know sign language!

* flips the bird *
October 23, 2025 at 10:25 AM
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I'm pleased to announce that I have no idea what the fuck is happening
October 24, 2025 at 11:29 PM
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I wonder if my therapist talks about me with her therapist
October 3, 2025 at 10:46 AM
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tylenol PM causes autistic vampires
September 24, 2025 at 6:30 PM