James
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mayornaise.bsky.social
James
@mayornaise.bsky.social
Local Kingpin. Trophy husband. Mogul. Connoisseur of frozen pizza. I play guitar. Your friendly neighborhood commie. A Large Male of his species. I like and repost your posts.

https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2nn4ckflgo6ubgw444axnc2m/feed/aaajr55qwy66c
Pinned
Hi. It’s me. I’m that guy. Hi.
Reposted by James
I love speaking and performing in front of large crowds of people
I don’t get stage fright
~me flirting
February 20, 2026 at 12:56 PM
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back in my day, beans used to be a lot cooler
February 20, 2026 at 9:32 AM
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Trump is going to bomb Iran until he convinces the Nobel committee to give him the Peace Prize.
February 20, 2026 at 10:50 AM
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It’s Friday and you deserve to have a little fun, in spite of the horrors. I, for example, will be laying our straw bed over fence pales and beating the filth from it with an oaken stave
February 20, 2026 at 11:28 AM
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if my cats are still snuggling with me in bed when it’s time to be at my desk then work just will have to wait
February 20, 2026 at 12:16 PM
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What are skeets if not foreplay?
February 20, 2026 at 12:30 PM
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Started my morning by sending everyone I care about Alysa Liu’s Olympic gold figure sk8ing performance to Donna Summer saying “if you don’t watch this from start to finish—you hate me”
February 20, 2026 at 12:35 PM
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Actually no. We do not agree with your terms & conditions or polices & you’ll be hearing from our lawyer shortly:
February 20, 2026 at 12:43 PM
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You make me smile, go away
February 20, 2026 at 3:58 AM
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My alien: *sobbing*

Me: …so that was Dear Zachary
February 20, 2026 at 4:02 AM
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😏
February 20, 2026 at 4:22 AM
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Oh no, I used the withered old monkey's paw to scratch the inside of my ear canal and forgot to make a wish entirely.
February 20, 2026 at 3:38 AM
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The caveman diet is out, the pirate diet is in. Buckle up lads, we're getting scurvy.
February 20, 2026 at 1:15 AM
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Awwww, honey honey
February 20, 2026 at 12:25 AM
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Honestly, when I come back as a ghost I’m probably just gonna mess with your audio settings
February 20, 2026 at 12:33 AM
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In the time before smart phones we’d spend these hours placing needles on vinyl and chucking rocks at streetlights
February 20, 2026 at 12:35 AM
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just (don’t) be yourself 😬
February 19, 2026 at 11:33 PM
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me walking in the club, having misunderstood an invitation to "See Ween:"
The Free Press is discovering new levels of Telling On Yourself that scientists previously thought could not exist
February 19, 2026 at 10:48 PM
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Alysa Liu gave us the mic moment we didn't get from the women's hockey team.
February 19, 2026 at 10:06 PM
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To avoid spreading germs, always be anal about handwashing.
February 19, 2026 at 9:05 PM
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“you’re a dick” I say to your dick
February 19, 2026 at 9:10 PM
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who just straight up drinks milk, you know that shit was squirted out of them wiggly plump fingery boys dangling off an animal with like 87 stomachs right?
February 20, 2026 at 1:47 AM
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What a week for Hilary Knight:

💍 Got engaged

📝 Broke U.S. women’s hockey record for most goals and points

🥇 Won fifth Olympic medal (second Olympic gold medal)
February 19, 2026 at 10:28 PM
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Can a rogue dog make its way onto the ice and save us?
February 19, 2026 at 8:14 PM
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10 yo: You seem really frustrated by this game. Maybe it will help to turn it off and take a break for a minute?
February 19, 2026 at 7:18 PM