Reposted by Lovely Potatoes
filling your vodka bottles with Crystal Pepsi
November 11, 2025 at 6:28 PM
filling your vodka bottles with Crystal Pepsi
Reposted by Lovely Potatoes
Home is where the snacks are.
June 30, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Home is where the snacks are.
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naked and afraid but i'm fully clothed
November 11, 2025 at 9:08 PM
naked and afraid but i'm fully clothed
Painting my honey lid green, sticking a straw in it, and selling it on eBay.
Anyone else?
Bearista-gate
Anyone else?
Bearista-gate
November 6, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Painting my honey lid green, sticking a straw in it, and selling it on eBay.
Anyone else?
Bearista-gate
Anyone else?
Bearista-gate
Reposted by Lovely Potatoes
Sorry I haven’t been on lately. I was busy trying to open a produce bag for my apples
October 9, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Sorry I haven’t been on lately. I was busy trying to open a produce bag for my apples
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her: have you been moisturizing?
me: oh no...that's just pizza grease.
me: oh no...that's just pizza grease.
October 31, 2025 at 10:41 AM
her: have you been moisturizing?
me: oh no...that's just pizza grease.
me: oh no...that's just pizza grease.
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Class up your kegger by calling it a soirée.
October 31, 2025 at 11:25 AM
Class up your kegger by calling it a soirée.
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One scoop of mashed potatoes per person and DON'T WALK ON THE GRASS
October 31, 2025 at 11:33 PM
One scoop of mashed potatoes per person and DON'T WALK ON THE GRASS
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I shower daily, rinse well, take care to make sure my hygiene is good throughout the day etc… So why after my shower just now is my asshole like mad fuckin itchy?
October 31, 2025 at 6:56 PM
I shower daily, rinse well, take care to make sure my hygiene is good throughout the day etc… So why after my shower just now is my asshole like mad fuckin itchy?
Reposted by Lovely Potatoes
Hey, can I talk to your dog for a minute?
November 3, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Hey, can I talk to your dog for a minute?
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If you're driving on the sidewalk, does it still count as road rage?
November 3, 2025 at 2:32 PM
If you're driving on the sidewalk, does it still count as road rage?
Reposted by Lovely Potatoes
Maybe she's born with it.
Maybe it's functional alcoholism.
Maybe it's functional alcoholism.
June 12, 2025 at 12:22 PM
Maybe she's born with it.
Maybe it's functional alcoholism.
Maybe it's functional alcoholism.
There are men whose loyalty to their SPOUSE doesn’t hold a candle to my husband’s loyalty to his barber.
November 6, 2025 at 6:38 PM
There are men whose loyalty to their SPOUSE doesn’t hold a candle to my husband’s loyalty to his barber.
I miss the days when we blamed gluten for everything and not lifesaving medicine.
September 24, 2025 at 9:10 PM
I miss the days when we blamed gluten for everything and not lifesaving medicine.
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Convinced my ex to get bangs before we broke up so that I’d find someone new first.
August 10, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Convinced my ex to get bangs before we broke up so that I’d find someone new first.
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I can't do another three years of this shit
August 26, 2025 at 3:25 AM
I can't do another three years of this shit
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This year has flown by like a passing kidney stone.
September 2, 2025 at 11:49 AM
This year has flown by like a passing kidney stone.
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Marriage is nice because you can tell all your hopes and dreams to someone who will stand by you while you continue to achieve none of them
August 18, 2025 at 10:51 AM
Marriage is nice because you can tell all your hopes and dreams to someone who will stand by you while you continue to achieve none of them
get in loser, we’re ignoring pumpkin-spice princess season
September 2, 2025 at 4:28 PM
get in loser, we’re ignoring pumpkin-spice princess season
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Me: Your profile said you had a piercing.
Her: That’s a typo. It’s supposed to say “piercing scream.”
Her: That’s a typo. It’s supposed to say “piercing scream.”
September 2, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Me: Your profile said you had a piercing.
Her: That’s a typo. It’s supposed to say “piercing scream.”
Her: That’s a typo. It’s supposed to say “piercing scream.”
Reposted by Lovely Potatoes
Allow me to overthink that for you
September 1, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Allow me to overthink that for you
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I took a picture, but it wasn't a selfie. Is there a word for that? A "someone elsie"?
September 2, 2025 at 11:19 AM
I took a picture, but it wasn't a selfie. Is there a word for that? A "someone elsie"?
Reposted by Lovely Potatoes
No one wants proof of life, btw
September 2, 2025 at 1:43 AM
No one wants proof of life, btw
Reposted by Lovely Potatoes
Reposted by Lovely Potatoes
Median monthly rent in Florida has risen by 40% since 2019. Median household income has only increased by 2.9% in that same time period.
a cartoon of spongebob standing in front of a window with his hands in the air
ALT: a cartoon of spongebob standing in front of a window with his hands in the air
media.tenor.com
September 2, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Median monthly rent in Florida has risen by 40% since 2019. Median household income has only increased by 2.9% in that same time period.