Pumpkin spice horchata
@eldritchanchovy.bsky.social
he/him. Millennial.
Wear a fucking mask.
Ibarra chocolate > Abuelita chocolate.
Wear a fucking mask.
Ibarra chocolate > Abuelita chocolate.
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simply the greatest
January 9, 2026 at 7:31 PM
simply the greatest
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there needs to be a sex offender registry but for ice guys. you should have to go door to door when you move to a new area and inform your neighbors that you used to be an ice guy. they shouldn't be allowed with 500 feet of a school
January 9, 2026 at 12:24 AM
there needs to be a sex offender registry but for ice guys. you should have to go door to door when you move to a new area and inform your neighbors that you used to be an ice guy. they shouldn't be allowed with 500 feet of a school
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Car wash for people
Free idea for the universe: a car wash for people. About the size of a tanning bed, with a rubber seal and a pillow at one end for your head. You lay down, close hatch, and a rinse-soap-rinse cycle begins automatically. You set the temperature and add soaps. Game changer for disability and pain
September 10, 2023 at 4:29 PM
Car wash for people
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curious what everyone’s kitchen table issues are. mine is that it’s too small and my stepson leaves his stuff all over it
Among the many essays I'll never have the time to write is one on how the "kitchen table" thing from obsolete politicians exemplifies how a focus on the nuclear family instead of community has rotted our culture from the inside out
anyone who says "kitchen table" in 2026 needs to be catapulted into the fucking sun
January 7, 2026 at 2:54 PM
curious what everyone’s kitchen table issues are. mine is that it’s too small and my stepson leaves his stuff all over it
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LEVERAGE seemed like a silly little show about crime, but it was so much more than. Brilliant writing and execution, @johnrogers.bsky.social at his best, and a cast that must have required a few sold souls. The finale was perfect. So was everything else.
January 7, 2026 at 12:43 AM
LEVERAGE seemed like a silly little show about crime, but it was so much more than. Brilliant writing and execution, @johnrogers.bsky.social at his best, and a cast that must have required a few sold souls. The finale was perfect. So was everything else.
The obvious solution to standard time vs DST discourse is to divide each of the four continental US time zones into a north half with permanent standard time and a south half with permanent DST
This place needs some Innocuous Discourse pronto. Quote this with a take that’s not political or aggressive
January 6, 2026 at 5:02 PM
The obvious solution to standard time vs DST discourse is to divide each of the four continental US time zones into a north half with permanent standard time and a south half with permanent DST
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Always a Pratchett Quote for everything:
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January 6, 2026 at 5:39 AM
Always a Pratchett Quote for everything:
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THE DAY CARES ARE LOCKED BECAUSE YOU MADE A GENERATION-LONG EFFORT TO MAKE IT AS EASY AS POSSIBLE TO KILL THE CHILDREN INSIDE THEM YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING GHOULS
these fucking people. they pass laws to make sure every person with a screw loose who wants an Armalite can show up to the day care armed & ready to kill, then complain that the day cares are locked to protect the children inside
CNN: “Surely you don’t think a daycare should be unlocked.”
SHIRLEY: “There should be a reception area.”
CNN: “No, every day care is locked.”
SHIRLEY: “Fair point.” 🤔
He shows up to a day care with masked men and wonders why they don’t let him in.
SHIRLEY: “There should be a reception area.”
CNN: “No, every day care is locked.”
SHIRLEY: “Fair point.” 🤔
He shows up to a day care with masked men and wonders why they don’t let him in.
December 31, 2025 at 7:30 PM
THE DAY CARES ARE LOCKED BECAUSE YOU MADE A GENERATION-LONG EFFORT TO MAKE IT AS EASY AS POSSIBLE TO KILL THE CHILDREN INSIDE THEM YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING GHOULS
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We seek to answer the question - What if public health had the vision of James Cameron and the budget of your youngest cousin making a school project 3 hours before it's due?
December 31, 2025 at 6:49 PM
We seek to answer the question - What if public health had the vision of James Cameron and the budget of your youngest cousin making a school project 3 hours before it's due?
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PSA: it’s 2025 and I am pretty sure every single person you have ever met who mentions they have seasonal depression to you has, in fact, already heard about and tried the lights and vitamin D supplements
while you mean well, please stop telling us about them as if they are new information
while you mean well, please stop telling us about them as if they are new information
December 30, 2025 at 12:53 AM
PSA: it’s 2025 and I am pretty sure every single person you have ever met who mentions they have seasonal depression to you has, in fact, already heard about and tried the lights and vitamin D supplements
while you mean well, please stop telling us about them as if they are new information
while you mean well, please stop telling us about them as if they are new information
Reposted by Pumpkin spice horchata
Wild to admit in print format for the entire country that you are a family therapist who couldn't manage to maintain even a cordial relationship with her own child.
"I worry that we are rapidly moving towards a society of self-absorbed and entitled individuals who have no time, affection or care for their parents." Letter in the Times from a 'relationship and family therapist' in response to Sarah Ditum's article attacking kids who have cut off abusive parents
December 27, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Wild to admit in print format for the entire country that you are a family therapist who couldn't manage to maintain even a cordial relationship with her own child.
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David Attenborough [whispering]:
“Like a grain of sand in a vast desert, the predator blends seamlessly into its environment, nearly imperceptible to the naked eye.”
“Like a grain of sand in a vast desert, the predator blends seamlessly into its environment, nearly imperceptible to the naked eye.”
December 28, 2025 at 3:38 PM
David Attenborough [whispering]:
“Like a grain of sand in a vast desert, the predator blends seamlessly into its environment, nearly imperceptible to the naked eye.”
“Like a grain of sand in a vast desert, the predator blends seamlessly into its environment, nearly imperceptible to the naked eye.”
I judge supermarkets and drugstores by how they label the aisle(s) with menstrual pads/vibrators/condoms/&c. Are they all under “feminine care”? Go fuck yourself
December 27, 2025 at 6:47 PM
I judge supermarkets and drugstores by how they label the aisle(s) with menstrual pads/vibrators/condoms/&c. Are they all under “feminine care”? Go fuck yourself
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Reposted by Pumpkin spice horchata
Pfft. His mother would’ve just glided across the entire floor in one move.
Y’all might not appreciate it, but it took him 87 moves and 14 hours to get here
December 27, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Pfft. His mother would’ve just glided across the entire floor in one move.
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the shit I care least in the whole world about is whether the story about the Earl of Sandwich is true. yes it fucking was. my man was playing cards and eating meat with his hands and then he said hold up check this out. you won't believe this shit. bring me some fucking bread & hold onto your hats
December 26, 2025 at 3:57 PM
the shit I care least in the whole world about is whether the story about the Earl of Sandwich is true. yes it fucking was. my man was playing cards and eating meat with his hands and then he said hold up check this out. you won't believe this shit. bring me some fucking bread & hold onto your hats
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you there boy, what bullshit is this
December 25, 2025 at 5:30 AM
you there boy, what bullshit is this
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"This story doesn't need a sandworm"
This is almost always wrong. Arguably, EVERY story benefits from adding a huge subterranean worm with quasi-mystical or semi-supernatural powers, or equivalent (similar to Moby Dick).
Obviously the bigger the worm, the more literary quality it adds.
This is almost always wrong. Arguably, EVERY story benefits from adding a huge subterranean worm with quasi-mystical or semi-supernatural powers, or equivalent (similar to Moby Dick).
Obviously the bigger the worm, the more literary quality it adds.
what is your least favorite piece of writing advice and why? 👀
December 23, 2025 at 6:28 PM
"This story doesn't need a sandworm"
This is almost always wrong. Arguably, EVERY story benefits from adding a huge subterranean worm with quasi-mystical or semi-supernatural powers, or equivalent (similar to Moby Dick).
Obviously the bigger the worm, the more literary quality it adds.
This is almost always wrong. Arguably, EVERY story benefits from adding a huge subterranean worm with quasi-mystical or semi-supernatural powers, or equivalent (similar to Moby Dick).
Obviously the bigger the worm, the more literary quality it adds.
Reposted by Pumpkin spice horchata
It's the solstice! Day start getting longer, starting today! I know it's dark and miserable right now, but we'll get through this together.
December 22, 2025 at 12:55 AM
It's the solstice! Day start getting longer, starting today! I know it's dark and miserable right now, but we'll get through this together.
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Man, I'm done with the days getting shorter! I am talking to MANAGEMENT. I will GET RESULTS. If the days get longer here on out, you'll know who to thank.
December 21, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Man, I'm done with the days getting shorter! I am talking to MANAGEMENT. I will GET RESULTS. If the days get longer here on out, you'll know who to thank.
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Those new to Bsky need to be made aware of one of the greatest skeets ever, deleted long before its time.
September 1, 2024 at 12:14 PM
Those new to Bsky need to be made aware of one of the greatest skeets ever, deleted long before its time.
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Cruella-esque prologue where gaston's parents are pushed off a balcony to their deaths by a woman who can read
December 16, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Cruella-esque prologue where gaston's parents are pushed off a balcony to their deaths by a woman who can read
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In one of my very gentle and wholesome local park and wildlife groups someone asked if the otters had been spotted lately and a man has replied “Nope, still just dark brown all over.” Chaos.
December 17, 2025 at 4:47 AM
In one of my very gentle and wholesome local park and wildlife groups someone asked if the otters had been spotted lately and a man has replied “Nope, still just dark brown all over.” Chaos.
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The ACA isn't just "health care for people who don't have a conventional employer." It also disallows something that was incredibly common 20 years ago, which I fear is getting lost to generational memory: insurance companies could deny you health care for essentially any previous health problem.
I'm dubious about Amazon's commitment to keeping pre-existing conditions a thing of the past.
December 14, 2025 at 11:50 PM
The ACA isn't just "health care for people who don't have a conventional employer." It also disallows something that was incredibly common 20 years ago, which I fear is getting lost to generational memory: insurance companies could deny you health care for essentially any previous health problem.
Why do they call it a “mushroom omelet” and not a “breakfast of champignons”
December 13, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Why do they call it a “mushroom omelet” and not a “breakfast of champignons”