Pinned
Craig
@craigforth.bsky.social
· Jun 29
google maps broke and created some kind of unholy chicago singularity
all things go all things go
Reposted by Craig
My scheming vizier when I start to cough after taking a swig of wine from my goblet
January 9, 2026 at 3:44 PM
My scheming vizier when I start to cough after taking a swig of wine from my goblet
Reposted by Craig
ME: then he showed up—lotta stuff in his head—and he just sorta gave me a ham sandwich
CHOTINER: because you solved it
ME: the lament configuration, yeah
CHOTINER: so the ham was pleasure…
ME: …it came on a pretty crusty baguette…
CHOTINER: …and that was your pain
ME: you’re making it trivial
CHOTINER: because you solved it
ME: the lament configuration, yeah
CHOTINER: so the ham was pleasure…
ME: …it came on a pretty crusty baguette…
CHOTINER: …and that was your pain
ME: you’re making it trivial
November 17, 2025 at 1:45 AM
ME: then he showed up—lotta stuff in his head—and he just sorta gave me a ham sandwich
CHOTINER: because you solved it
ME: the lament configuration, yeah
CHOTINER: so the ham was pleasure…
ME: …it came on a pretty crusty baguette…
CHOTINER: …and that was your pain
ME: you’re making it trivial
CHOTINER: because you solved it
ME: the lament configuration, yeah
CHOTINER: so the ham was pleasure…
ME: …it came on a pretty crusty baguette…
CHOTINER: …and that was your pain
ME: you’re making it trivial
Reposted by Craig
Reposted by Craig
Charlie: thank you so much! I'm gonna call it Chaz Bucket's Chocolate Fuck Hut
Willy Wonka: I have changed my mind
Willy Wonka: I have changed my mind
May 5, 2023 at 1:27 AM
Charlie: thank you so much! I'm gonna call it Chaz Bucket's Chocolate Fuck Hut
Willy Wonka: I have changed my mind
Willy Wonka: I have changed my mind
Reposted by Craig
There are no rules, they don’t actually care about respect, decorum, bipartisanship or debate, and only pretend to do so to browbeat you into submission. Nothing is going to change until more people realise that and respond accordingly; including to the media and politicians who have failed them.
January 9, 2026 at 12:25 PM
There are no rules, they don’t actually care about respect, decorum, bipartisanship or debate, and only pretend to do so to browbeat you into submission. Nothing is going to change until more people realise that and respond accordingly; including to the media and politicians who have failed them.
Reposted by Craig
Reposted by Craig
Best TikTok thing going is the two dudes trying food from every country without leaving NYC. If you haven’t seen them yet, it’s incredible. My favorite so far is last week’s. Legit got me emotional.
January 9, 2026 at 1:50 AM
Best TikTok thing going is the two dudes trying food from every country without leaving NYC. If you haven’t seen them yet, it’s incredible. My favorite so far is last week’s. Legit got me emotional.
Reposted by Craig
Reposted by Craig
Reposted by Craig
If Democrats can't win on "the administration is full of and covering for kiddie rapers and they're using your tax money to invade Venezuela and pay fat Nazis to shoot your neighbors" then GET THE FUCK OUT OF POLITICS
January 7, 2026 at 5:38 PM
If Democrats can't win on "the administration is full of and covering for kiddie rapers and they're using your tax money to invade Venezuela and pay fat Nazis to shoot your neighbors" then GET THE FUCK OUT OF POLITICS
Reposted by Craig
Fuck Bari Weiss, fuck bootlicking regime propaganda
January 7, 2026 at 5:24 PM
Fuck Bari Weiss, fuck bootlicking regime propaganda
Reposted by Craig
This response to a NYTimes "reporter" requesting the murder footage shows more spine than the entire Democratic Party.
no, absolutely not, you all should've been nicer to my trans homies
January 7, 2026 at 6:21 PM
This response to a NYTimes "reporter" requesting the murder footage shows more spine than the entire Democratic Party.
Reposted by Craig
ME: (doing standup) what's the deal with airplane food
AUDIENCE: *crickets*
[later]
GRASSHOPPER: how was the show
CRICKET: oh man that guy was hilarious
AUDIENCE: *crickets*
[later]
GRASSHOPPER: how was the show
CRICKET: oh man that guy was hilarious
January 5, 2026 at 4:46 PM
ME: (doing standup) what's the deal with airplane food
AUDIENCE: *crickets*
[later]
GRASSHOPPER: how was the show
CRICKET: oh man that guy was hilarious
AUDIENCE: *crickets*
[later]
GRASSHOPPER: how was the show
CRICKET: oh man that guy was hilarious
Reposted by Craig
Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession
January 5, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession
Reposted by Craig
u/surburbandy — Yesterday the Norse god Odin plucked out an eye and hung himself from the silver ash in my garden. He’s already damaged the branches, what should I do?
u/treelaw_esq [MOD] — Call. An. Arborist. And then start thinking about how big a boat you’d like.
u/treelaw_esq [MOD] — Call. An. Arborist. And then start thinking about how big a boat you’d like.
January 5, 2026 at 2:01 PM
u/surburbandy — Yesterday the Norse god Odin plucked out an eye and hung himself from the silver ash in my garden. He’s already damaged the branches, what should I do?
u/treelaw_esq [MOD] — Call. An. Arborist. And then start thinking about how big a boat you’d like.
u/treelaw_esq [MOD] — Call. An. Arborist. And then start thinking about how big a boat you’d like.
Reposted by Craig
Reposted by Craig
to the tune of the Hot Pockets jingle
🎶 jizz lockets 🎶
🎶 jizz lockets 🎶
Hey everyone take a look at this necklace I saw on Instagram that you fill with your partner’s jizz and wear around
January 5, 2026 at 3:38 AM
to the tune of the Hot Pockets jingle
🎶 jizz lockets 🎶
🎶 jizz lockets 🎶
same old same old
Taurus: You will live like a king this year. Isolated, paranoid, never sure if anyone’s affections are genuine.
January 4, 2026 at 11:59 PM
same old same old
Reposted by Craig
Scrooge: You boy, what day is it?
“Why, it’s the day Ben Folds drove his girlfriend to get an abortion, sir.”
Scrooge: Ah, yes, day after Christmas.
“Why, it’s the day Ben Folds drove his girlfriend to get an abortion, sir.”
Scrooge: Ah, yes, day after Christmas.
December 27, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Scrooge: You boy, what day is it?
“Why, it’s the day Ben Folds drove his girlfriend to get an abortion, sir.”
Scrooge: Ah, yes, day after Christmas.
“Why, it’s the day Ben Folds drove his girlfriend to get an abortion, sir.”
Scrooge: Ah, yes, day after Christmas.
Reposted by Craig
I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for in a politician but not having every day be a nightmare of horrors would be pretty high up so someone should run on that
January 4, 2026 at 12:48 AM
I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for in a politician but not having every day be a nightmare of horrors would be pretty high up so someone should run on that
i just walked three miles to retrieve some cider. in twenty degree weather. for the second evening in a row 👍
Dry January is looking like Well I Tried January
January 4, 2026 at 12:24 AM
i just walked three miles to retrieve some cider. in twenty degree weather. for the second evening in a row 👍
Reposted by Craig
"What do you want the Dems to DO exactly?" is kicked dog behavior. Elected officials are not meant to do insider trading and occasionally give a 4/10 speech about civility. They are an expression of the values of those they represent, you're damn right I expect up to and including physical action.
January 3, 2026 at 6:15 PM
"What do you want the Dems to DO exactly?" is kicked dog behavior. Elected officials are not meant to do insider trading and occasionally give a 4/10 speech about civility. They are an expression of the values of those they represent, you're damn right I expect up to and including physical action.
Reposted by Craig
Reposted by Craig
The FIFA Peace Prize used to mean something
January 3, 2026 at 6:12 PM
The FIFA Peace Prize used to mean something