Jesse Raub
@jesseraub.bsky.social
writer and coffee professional, formerly at Serious Eats, stuff in Bon Appetit, Bright Wall/Dark Room, Vulture, HAD, Polygon, and other places.
I also have a newsletter: https://linktr.ee/jesseraub
I also have a newsletter: https://linktr.ee/jesseraub
Pinned
Jesse Raub
@jesseraub.bsky.social
· Nov 10
okay, here's thread of links to all my published pieces:
oh Lord my hometown is in the news again. also, this is like 22 miles south of Minneapolis in the middle of nowhere just down the road from a massive McDonald’s truck stop called McStop
The Hampton Inn Lakeville Minneapolis has been kicked out of the Hilton chain after a conservative commentator visited the hotel this morning and attempted to book accommodations posing as a DHS representative — a day after the property refused accommodations for federal immigration agents.
January 6, 2026 at 4:42 PM
oh Lord my hometown is in the news again. also, this is like 22 miles south of Minneapolis in the middle of nowhere just down the road from a massive McDonald’s truck stop called McStop
Reposted by Jesse Raub
McDonalds, Costco and others' commitment to multiple checkout lines instead of one snaking line feeding to the next-available register creates inefficiency, stokes competitive resentment, nourishes feelings of being cheated, and must end.
This place needs some Innocuous Discourse pronto. Quote this with a take that’s not political or aggressive
January 6, 2026 at 4:39 PM
McDonalds, Costco and others' commitment to multiple checkout lines instead of one snaking line feeding to the next-available register creates inefficiency, stokes competitive resentment, nourishes feelings of being cheated, and must end.
sending jair bolsonaro $23 million so he can build a hospital in his basement he can visit anytime he wants like barbara streisand’s indoor mall
January 6, 2026 at 4:25 PM
sending jair bolsonaro $23 million so he can build a hospital in his basement he can visit anytime he wants like barbara streisand’s indoor mall
Reposted by Jesse Raub
While not nearly the most important thing going on, I wrote some jokes about why this year AI in video games is going to be the absolute most annoying debate. Even more annoying than it already is. Just deeply annoying.
2026 Is Going To Be The Year AI in Gaming Gets Super Annoying
Gaming needs to be clear about how, and why, it's using AI
www.thegamer.com
January 6, 2026 at 2:55 PM
While not nearly the most important thing going on, I wrote some jokes about why this year AI in video games is going to be the absolute most annoying debate. Even more annoying than it already is. Just deeply annoying.
Reposted by Jesse Raub
breaking the news of my divorce by telling everyone my former wife invoked ghost protocol
January 5, 2026 at 11:11 PM
breaking the news of my divorce by telling everyone my former wife invoked ghost protocol
asking for an AI summary of moby dick so i can learn from ahab’s hustle mindset
January 6, 2026 at 2:17 PM
asking for an AI summary of moby dick so i can learn from ahab’s hustle mindset
vaccines basically do nothing for me, because the medication i take to keep MS from killing me eradicates all my antibody producing B-cells. mild COVID just sidelined me for three weeks.
get your flu shot so you don’t kill people like me just trying to buy groceries
get your flu shot so you don’t kill people like me just trying to buy groceries
“These viruses are serious, dangerous, and life-threatening. We are seeing children who are seriously ill, families grieving devastating losses, and hospitals under capacity strain.”
www.cnn.com/2026/01/05/h...
www.cnn.com/2026/01/05/h...
Flu reaches highest levels in the US in 25 years | CNN
Flu continues to visit misery across the US, with all but four states showing high or very high levels of activity as a new virus strain called subclade K continues to spread.
www.cnn.com
January 6, 2026 at 12:40 PM
vaccines basically do nothing for me, because the medication i take to keep MS from killing me eradicates all my antibody producing B-cells. mild COVID just sidelined me for three weeks.
get your flu shot so you don’t kill people like me just trying to buy groceries
get your flu shot so you don’t kill people like me just trying to buy groceries
Reposted by Jesse Raub
I implore you to hit up CVS and get your flu shot. Please don’t game it with whatever else you heard. It’s real serious and we don’t gave any public health allies in the government now.
“These viruses are serious, dangerous, and life-threatening. We are seeing children who are seriously ill, families grieving devastating losses, and hospitals under capacity strain.”
www.cnn.com/2026/01/05/h...
www.cnn.com/2026/01/05/h...
Flu reaches highest levels in the US in 25 years | CNN
Flu continues to visit misery across the US, with all but four states showing high or very high levels of activity as a new virus strain called subclade K continues to spread.
www.cnn.com
January 6, 2026 at 12:28 PM
I implore you to hit up CVS and get your flu shot. Please don’t game it with whatever else you heard. It’s real serious and we don’t gave any public health allies in the government now.
Reposted by Jesse Raub
“hey what’s up guys. what’re you doin’ after this”
July 13, 2025 at 4:18 AM
“hey what’s up guys. what’re you doin’ after this”
Reposted by Jesse Raub
hey guys have some time to kill before bed so let’s do an Ask Me Anything! just reply with any question you have about me and i’ll try to answer it but just know ahead of time i’m not legally allowed to talk about Project Burning Skies or The Incident
June 3, 2025 at 3:43 AM
hey guys have some time to kill before bed so let’s do an Ask Me Anything! just reply with any question you have about me and i’ll try to answer it but just know ahead of time i’m not legally allowed to talk about Project Burning Skies or The Incident
Reposted by Jesse Raub
daPoastmasterGeneral • 3m
youse guys ever burgermunch its a new thing you eat da burger
💬 17 🔁382 ❤️2,478
———————————
daPoastmasterGeneral • 18m
i’m really glad to be back. the doctors say it was touch and go there for a minute, but i’ll never take life for granted again
💬 3 🔁1 ❤️22
youse guys ever burgermunch its a new thing you eat da burger
💬 17 🔁382 ❤️2,478
———————————
daPoastmasterGeneral • 18m
i’m really glad to be back. the doctors say it was touch and go there for a minute, but i’ll never take life for granted again
💬 3 🔁1 ❤️22
November 11, 2025 at 11:57 PM
daPoastmasterGeneral • 3m
youse guys ever burgermunch its a new thing you eat da burger
💬 17 🔁382 ❤️2,478
———————————
daPoastmasterGeneral • 18m
i’m really glad to be back. the doctors say it was touch and go there for a minute, but i’ll never take life for granted again
💬 3 🔁1 ❤️22
youse guys ever burgermunch its a new thing you eat da burger
💬 17 🔁382 ❤️2,478
———————————
daPoastmasterGeneral • 18m
i’m really glad to be back. the doctors say it was touch and go there for a minute, but i’ll never take life for granted again
💬 3 🔁1 ❤️22
wait a minute is mare of easttown a mildred pierce sequel
January 6, 2026 at 1:19 AM
wait a minute is mare of easttown a mildred pierce sequel
precious angel time
January 6, 2026 at 12:14 AM
precious angel time
breaking the news of my divorce by telling everyone my former wife invoked ghost protocol
January 5, 2026 at 11:11 PM
breaking the news of my divorce by telling everyone my former wife invoked ghost protocol
Reposted by Jesse Raub
“ChatGPT started coaching Sam on how to take drugs, recover from them and plan further binges. It gave him specific doses of illegal substances, and in one chat, it wrote, ‘Hell yes—let’s go full trippy mode’”
www.sfgate.com/tech/article...
www.sfgate.com/tech/article...
A Calif. teen trusted ChatGPT for drug advice. He died from an overdose.
"Who on earth gives that advice?"
www.sfgate.com
January 5, 2026 at 6:28 PM
“ChatGPT started coaching Sam on how to take drugs, recover from them and plan further binges. It gave him specific doses of illegal substances, and in one chat, it wrote, ‘Hell yes—let’s go full trippy mode’”
www.sfgate.com/tech/article...
www.sfgate.com/tech/article...
Reposted by Jesse Raub
international media luminary Jesse “Big J” Raub
December 29, 2025 at 1:30 AM
international media luminary Jesse “Big J” Raub
Reposted by Jesse Raub
“Don't let yourself get attached to any post you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner"
January 5, 2026 at 10:30 PM
“Don't let yourself get attached to any post you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner"
one of the best things you can do is go back and delete a topical or political post you made 5 minutes earlier. it's unnecessary, no one will miss it, and now no one can start fights with you over it
January 5, 2026 at 10:13 PM
one of the best things you can do is go back and delete a topical or political post you made 5 minutes earlier. it's unnecessary, no one will miss it, and now no one can start fights with you over it
Reposted by Jesse Raub
you and i might have different ideas of what a toilet is for, brother
July 22, 2025 at 8:37 PM
you and i might have different ideas of what a toilet is for, brother
Reposted by Jesse Raub
yet another prime example of convergent evolution
June 13, 2025 at 9:37 PM
yet another prime example of convergent evolution
Reposted by Jesse Raub
tfw you gotta go but then you get in the bathroom and get distracted
September 14, 2025 at 2:15 AM
tfw you gotta go but then you get in the bathroom and get distracted
there might be a crack in the upstairs toilet so we will be convening in the basement for the time being
January 5, 2026 at 8:23 PM
there might be a crack in the upstairs toilet so we will be convening in the basement for the time being
Reposted by Jesse Raub
the milwaukee bucks
December 28, 2025 at 3:27 AM
the milwaukee bucks
Reposted by Jesse Raub
TREBEK: something my date asked even after i leaned over to helpfully point out who this title character is
ME: what’s chappie?
TREBEK: you’re on the board
ME: what’s chappie?
TREBEK: you’re on the board
November 11, 2025 at 5:01 AM
TREBEK: something my date asked even after i leaned over to helpfully point out who this title character is
ME: what’s chappie?
TREBEK: you’re on the board
ME: what’s chappie?
TREBEK: you’re on the board
Reposted by Jesse Raub
TREBEK: Noted basketball player Shaquille O’Neal may have made this noise while yelling when his prodigious behind did not fit in the seat of a roller coaster.
RUTTER: What is ‘ehh?’
TREBEK: No.
HOLZHAUER: What is ‘ahhhhhh?’
TREBEK: That’s it, at Knot’s Berry Farm. The board is yours.
RUTTER: What is ‘ehh?’
TREBEK: No.
HOLZHAUER: What is ‘ahhhhhh?’
TREBEK: That’s it, at Knot’s Berry Farm. The board is yours.
February 7, 2025 at 1:48 AM
TREBEK: Noted basketball player Shaquille O’Neal may have made this noise while yelling when his prodigious behind did not fit in the seat of a roller coaster.
RUTTER: What is ‘ehh?’
TREBEK: No.
HOLZHAUER: What is ‘ahhhhhh?’
TREBEK: That’s it, at Knot’s Berry Farm. The board is yours.
RUTTER: What is ‘ehh?’
TREBEK: No.
HOLZHAUER: What is ‘ahhhhhh?’
TREBEK: That’s it, at Knot’s Berry Farm. The board is yours.