Avery Edison
@averyedison.com
ludicrously clever • briefly a comedian • not going to get yelled at • trans woman (she/her) • good stuff at onlyfans.com/averyedison
why do I have to go into my router’s settings and temporarily speed limit the apple tv to stop it sucking down 35mbps when I have already turned it off. I went to settings and I hit “power off” and then I turned the tv off. everything should be off. why doesn’t anything actually turn off
November 12, 2025 at 10:22 PM
why do I have to go into my router’s settings and temporarily speed limit the apple tv to stop it sucking down 35mbps when I have already turned it off. I went to settings and I hit “power off” and then I turned the tv off. everything should be off. why doesn’t anything actually turn off
if you tweet about jesus’ demands of his followers (that they abandon wealth and devote themselves to charity), you will get replies from americans describing a version of jesus who simply does not exist. it’s not like there’s a translation of the book in which the messiah loves money
November 12, 2025 at 9:19 PM
if you tweet about jesus’ demands of his followers (that they abandon wealth and devote themselves to charity), you will get replies from americans describing a version of jesus who simply does not exist. it’s not like there’s a translation of the book in which the messiah loves money
don’t think I’ve ever been told I look like a celebrity. one time someone sent me a photo of some realtor’s business card and said “she looks just like you!” and it was Quite Insulting
November 11, 2025 at 8:48 PM
don’t think I’ve ever been told I look like a celebrity. one time someone sent me a photo of some realtor’s business card and said “she looks just like you!” and it was Quite Insulting
my fault for a) playing fortnite and 2) watching streamers, but I will say it is a little dispiriting to see so many players responding to all the beautiful Simpsons references with “is that from the show? I never saw the show”
November 11, 2025 at 8:47 PM
my fault for a) playing fortnite and 2) watching streamers, but I will say it is a little dispiriting to see so many players responding to all the beautiful Simpsons references with “is that from the show? I never saw the show”
they added MORE DOGS today and still no cats. it’s genuinely a conspiracy at this point
fortnite released new companions that follow you around in-game and there’s like eight dogs and ZERO cats in the initial wave. yet more proof (as if it were needed) of our rotten culture’s anti-cat bias.
November 11, 2025 at 3:18 PM
they added MORE DOGS today and still no cats. it’s genuinely a conspiracy at this point
keep seeing this woman’s videos and I get so old school atheist furious every time. I hate christianity so much, literally the ONE thing jesus tells his followers to do is live a life of pure charity, and there are churches saying “no” to feeding a newborn
there is a woman on TikTok who is calling churches and asking them if they would help her feed her hungry baby and of the dozens she has called, only NINE have agreed to help her.
It's not just evangelical churches she's calling.
I think we need to have a bigger reckoning for these places.
It's not just evangelical churches she's calling.
I think we need to have a bigger reckoning for these places.
November 10, 2025 at 1:29 PM
keep seeing this woman’s videos and I get so old school atheist furious every time. I hate christianity so much, literally the ONE thing jesus tells his followers to do is live a life of pure charity, and there are churches saying “no” to feeding a newborn
finally listening to this week’s episode of a podcast hosted by dodgers fans even though I know it’ll be an hour of gloating. this is character-building, this is a spiritual process, this is practicing sereni—OH “CONGRATULATIONS” ON SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY ON A DEGENERATE GAMBLER
November 8, 2025 at 7:24 PM
finally listening to this week’s episode of a podcast hosted by dodgers fans even though I know it’ll be an hour of gloating. this is character-building, this is a spiritual process, this is practicing sereni—OH “CONGRATULATIONS” ON SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY ON A DEGENERATE GAMBLER
I promise I’m _trying_ to enjoy the clips from the latest Vanity Fair lie detector but unfortunately they make me too angry because they’re propaganda for pseudoscience and I can’t be normal about it.
November 8, 2025 at 6:34 PM
I promise I’m _trying_ to enjoy the clips from the latest Vanity Fair lie detector but unfortunately they make me too angry because they’re propaganda for pseudoscience and I can’t be normal about it.
apple is always like “we spend a lot of money on tv shows and movies to encourage people to buy our set-top box and subscribe to our streaming service” but the real reason is it was getting to the point that their massive pile of spare cash was starting to look really creepy
November 8, 2025 at 6:09 PM
apple is always like “we spend a lot of money on tv shows and movies to encourage people to buy our set-top box and subscribe to our streaming service” but the real reason is it was getting to the point that their massive pile of spare cash was starting to look really creepy
fortnite released new companions that follow you around in-game and there’s like eight dogs and ZERO cats in the initial wave. yet more proof (as if it were needed) of our rotten culture’s anti-cat bias.
November 8, 2025 at 2:14 PM
fortnite released new companions that follow you around in-game and there’s like eight dogs and ZERO cats in the initial wave. yet more proof (as if it were needed) of our rotten culture’s anti-cat bias.
Major League Baseball is an evil organization designed to torture the wonderful people of Canada
November 8, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Major League Baseball is an evil organization designed to torture the wonderful people of Canada
the country that’s in charge of the entire world? yeah, every few years they nuke their own economy for some political grandstanding. thank god one of the rogue states isn’t in charge, though
November 8, 2025 at 6:00 AM
the country that’s in charge of the entire world? yeah, every few years they nuke their own economy for some political grandstanding. thank god one of the rogue states isn’t in charge, though
LeaenedLeague should include, amongst the profile ribbons currently offered, ribbons for being Champion of a One-Day or Mini-League. My partner would have a ton more ribbons on her profile. I’m not a member any more so someone please pass this up the chain.
November 8, 2025 at 4:10 AM
LeaenedLeague should include, amongst the profile ribbons currently offered, ribbons for being Champion of a One-Day or Mini-League. My partner would have a ton more ribbons on her profile. I’m not a member any more so someone please pass this up the chain.
the mamdani resume portal bringing back the kind of “dear network tv show, I have four thousand followers and have suffered from hot tub foot my entire life—you NEED me in the room when you’re writing these eps” posts I thought we left behind in 2013 because we learned shame
November 7, 2025 at 4:08 PM
the mamdani resume portal bringing back the kind of “dear network tv show, I have four thousand followers and have suffered from hot tub foot my entire life—you NEED me in the room when you’re writing these eps” posts I thought we left behind in 2013 because we learned shame
characters in books love to speak in “short, staccato bursts”
November 6, 2025 at 9:18 PM
characters in books love to speak in “short, staccato bursts”
I forgot this was kind of a big night and posted a bunch of pennywise jokes I thought of while I was eating dinner. Sorry. Kind of a weird one from me there, sorry.
November 5, 2025 at 3:35 AM
I forgot this was kind of a big night and posted a bunch of pennywise jokes I thought of while I was eating dinner. Sorry. Kind of a weird one from me there, sorry.
would love if everyone could stop posting “memes” about pennywise dying I understand he MAY have done a lot of shady stuff to a friend of a friend of yours or whatever but to a lot of us on this forum he was a cherished emotional support entity. *if I see memes in signatures I’m banning*
November 5, 2025 at 3:31 AM
would love if everyone could stop posting “memes” about pennywise dying I understand he MAY have done a lot of shady stuff to a friend of a friend of yours or whatever but to a lot of us on this forum he was a cherished emotional support entity. *if I see memes in signatures I’m banning*
“Pennywise? Well, let’s just say that when everyone meets up in Vegas for ClownCon, he’s eating alone! No, no… But he’s part of the community, y’know? Everyone approaches the artform in a different way. So shall we take this to your place? My flower isn’t the only thing that squirts.”
November 5, 2025 at 3:28 AM
“Pennywise? Well, let’s just say that when everyone meets up in Vegas for ClownCon, he’s eating alone! No, no… But he’s part of the community, y’know? Everyone approaches the artform in a different way. So shall we take this to your place? My flower isn’t the only thing that squirts.”
when pennywise died a bunch of trash and effluence from the sewer posted “rip to my favorite clown, thank you for teaching me it was okay to be floating down here”
November 5, 2025 at 3:25 AM
when pennywise died a bunch of trash and effluence from the sewer posted “rip to my favorite clown, thank you for teaching me it was okay to be floating down here”
just patiently explained to a very concerned pharmacist that the amount of estrogen he was dispensing for me was, in fact, entirely appropriate, because I don’t make much of my own estrogen, because that’s what being transgender means
November 4, 2025 at 7:09 PM
just patiently explained to a very concerned pharmacist that the amount of estrogen he was dispensing for me was, in fact, entirely appropriate, because I don’t make much of my own estrogen, because that’s what being transgender means
Reposted by Avery Edison
On the pedestal, these words:
My name is Ozymandias;
Look on my works, they’re great works, still standing after so long, the best works,
My name is Ozymandias;
Look on my works, they’re great works, still standing after so long, the best works,
May 23, 2025 at 1:32 PM
On the pedestal, these words:
My name is Ozymandias;
Look on my works, they’re great works, still standing after so long, the best works,
My name is Ozymandias;
Look on my works, they’re great works, still standing after so long, the best works,
Reposted by Avery Edison
OZYMANDIAS, THE FRESH KING OF KINGS
I whistled for a traveler, and when he came near,
His land was antique, and he frowned at my sneer,
If anything I could say ye mighty, despair,
But I thought, “Nah, forget it—my wreck’s boundless and bare!”
I whistled for a traveler, and when he came near,
His land was antique, and he frowned at my sneer,
If anything I could say ye mighty, despair,
But I thought, “Nah, forget it—my wreck’s boundless and bare!”
July 4, 2023 at 2:44 PM
OZYMANDIAS, THE FRESH KING OF KINGS
I whistled for a traveler, and when he came near,
His land was antique, and he frowned at my sneer,
If anything I could say ye mighty, despair,
But I thought, “Nah, forget it—my wreck’s boundless and bare!”
I whistled for a traveler, and when he came near,
His land was antique, and he frowned at my sneer,
If anything I could say ye mighty, despair,
But I thought, “Nah, forget it—my wreck’s boundless and bare!”
takes a lot for me to say nice things about fortnite right now because I sold my ps5 before traveling to toronto and so am playing the game on my switch, which is not a pleasant experience. but it’s really fun to wander around springfield nuclear power plant. or kamp krusty. or ned flanders’ house.
it’s silly but I do think there are two things everyone should be aware of: 1) Fortnite is currently doing a Simpsons mini-season, the whole game is full of Simpsons stuff, and, 2) the best kept secret in gaming is Fortnite is a fun time and a great way to hang with your friends
FIRST LOOK AT THE MAKEUP SHOTGUN COMING SOON TO THE FORTNITE x SIMPSONS SEASON 💄
#Fortnite #FortniteNews
#Fortnite #FortniteNews
November 3, 2025 at 5:28 PM
takes a lot for me to say nice things about fortnite right now because I sold my ps5 before traveling to toronto and so am playing the game on my switch, which is not a pleasant experience. but it’s really fun to wander around springfield nuclear power plant. or kamp krusty. or ned flanders’ house.
it’s silly but I do think there are two things everyone should be aware of: 1) Fortnite is currently doing a Simpsons mini-season, the whole game is full of Simpsons stuff, and, 2) the best kept secret in gaming is Fortnite is a fun time and a great way to hang with your friends
FIRST LOOK AT THE MAKEUP SHOTGUN COMING SOON TO THE FORTNITE x SIMPSONS SEASON 💄
#Fortnite #FortniteNews
#Fortnite #FortniteNews
November 3, 2025 at 5:01 PM
it’s silly but I do think there are two things everyone should be aware of: 1) Fortnite is currently doing a Simpsons mini-season, the whole game is full of Simpsons stuff, and, 2) the best kept secret in gaming is Fortnite is a fun time and a great way to hang with your friends
there’s a guy furiously ranting to someone on the phone in the parking lot behind my apartment building. can’t quite make out the bulk of what he’s saying, but I heard “yesavage”
November 2, 2025 at 7:37 AM
there’s a guy furiously ranting to someone on the phone in the parking lot behind my apartment building. can’t quite make out the bulk of what he’s saying, but I heard “yesavage”