Captain Awkward
@captainawkward.bsky.social
Advice blogger, soon-to-be-author. You may remember me as CAwkward on that other site, but I have reclaimed my full title and powers! Here to make new internets to push the bad internets down.
1995, studying in Prague for a year. I went to Bucharest by myself, fully intending to shell out for a hotel since there wasn’t a lot of backpacker-level tourist infrastructure yet. Showed up to the hotel to check in & the desk clerk took one look at me and said “You can’t stay here.”
I would like to hear about a time someone, a stranger even, was very kind to you without any prompting, ulterior motive, or strings attached.
December 31, 2025 at 3:21 AM
1995, studying in Prague for a year. I went to Bucharest by myself, fully intending to shell out for a hotel since there wasn’t a lot of backpacker-level tourist infrastructure yet. Showed up to the hotel to check in & the desk clerk took one look at me and said “You can’t stay here.”
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Terrible, always a total magnet. His story about getting cast in Goodfellas, basically his first movie, is so charming www.avclub.com/isiah-whitlo...
![Well, fast forward to Goodfellas. That was sort of like a feeding frenzy in New York City, and I got an audition for it. I went in and I auditioned for the guy who gets who owns the nightclub—he gets hit over the head with a bottle by Joe Pesci. And I thought, “Well, look, they’re not going to cast me as this guy.” I mean, it didn’t make sense, you know? But I got a callback! So I went back and I go into the room, and Martin Scorsese says, “What do I know you from? I know you from somewhere.” I said, “Well, I did those readings at Paul Newman’s for you, for The Color Of Money. He said, “Oh, that’s right, that’s right! Look, that part you auditioned for—obviously, you can’t do that part of. It just wouldn’t work. But I have this character!” He’s a doctor and it’s in the part of the movie where he’s like the only person that that Henry Hill trusts while he’s all coked out and everything like that. He said, “Do you think you could do that for me? I know it’s not much, but if you could do it for me, I would really appreciate it.” And I’m sitting there thinking, “Okay, act like you’ve been there before.” [Laughs.] I said, “Yeah, sure, Marty. I mean, you know, it’s not about the size of the part. It’s what we do!” So he says thanks, and that’s how I got cast! [Laughs.] I didn’t say, “Well, gee, Marty, I have never done a movie before hardly.” But I got cast in Goodfellas—that’s how all of that happened.
I do remember I went to my day job—I was a waiter at a place on 10th Avenue—and I said, “I just got a part in Goodfellas!” And they said, “No way! Get out!” I said, “No, I met with Martin Scorsese, and they’re going to cast me as this doctor.” And one of the guys said, “Oh, I’m going down there tomorrow, and I’m taking my stuff, because if you got a part, I know I’m going to get a part.” [Laughs.] He was like, “They must just be handing out parts—they must need tons of people if they cast you—you just got here!” So he went down there and he didn’t get a part. And here I a…](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:bck7uabvjt4xu5uzn3exzhqj/bafkreihprpksbsipsbrgqrbrjh2t7moeap457yglhouhssilvkmowqc654@jpeg)
December 30, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Terrible, always a total magnet. His story about getting cast in Goodfellas, basically his first movie, is so charming www.avclub.com/isiah-whitlo...
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Since I have been reminded of it, allow me to share one of my very favorite threads of the past year:
This evening one of the very kind con organizers took us to the Vigeland Sculpture Park in Oslo, which is amazing and you should go and Gustav Vigeland was extraordinarily talented and probably does not deserve the narrative I constructed looking at his work.
But Bluesky! You deserve EVERYTHING!
But Bluesky! You deserve EVERYTHING!
December 30, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Since I have been reminded of it, allow me to share one of my very favorite threads of the past year:
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I had a dream about a musical called "Faculty Meeting" and weirdly it was good?
The first number is about someone objecting to approving the minutes without unanimous consent but not offering a correction. This is how we meet The Parliamentarian, our narrator.
The first number is about someone objecting to approving the minutes without unanimous consent but not offering a correction. This is how we meet The Parliamentarian, our narrator.
December 30, 2025 at 2:41 PM
I had a dream about a musical called "Faculty Meeting" and weirdly it was good?
The first number is about someone objecting to approving the minutes without unanimous consent but not offering a correction. This is how we meet The Parliamentarian, our narrator.
The first number is about someone objecting to approving the minutes without unanimous consent but not offering a correction. This is how we meet The Parliamentarian, our narrator.
I acquired new groceries without fully reckoning with holiday leftovers and my foolish disregard for the order of operations will be swiftly and thoroughly punished bu this game of fridge Tetris I’m about to play.
December 30, 2025 at 9:23 PM
I acquired new groceries without fully reckoning with holiday leftovers and my foolish disregard for the order of operations will be swiftly and thoroughly punished bu this game of fridge Tetris I’m about to play.
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someone should invent a chore that is done permanently once you do the chore
December 30, 2025 at 7:36 PM
someone should invent a chore that is done permanently once you do the chore
The look of outrage is because he woke himself up with his own farts. WTF indeed, my gassy son. WTF indeed.
December 30, 2025 at 7:55 PM
The look of outrage is because he woke himself up with his own farts. WTF indeed, my gassy son. WTF indeed.
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God I'm so hyped "Culinary Class Wars" is back, Mr. Paik my old buddy I have missed you
December 28, 2025 at 10:45 PM
God I'm so hyped "Culinary Class Wars" is back, Mr. Paik my old buddy I have missed you
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Art
December 30, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Art
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Farthing, my alternate history mystery novel about why good people do bad things is $1.99 as an ebook right now in the US www.amazon.com/Farthing-Sto...
Farthing: A Story of a World that Could Have Been (Small Change Book 1)
Farthing: A Story of a World that Could Have Been (Small Change Book 1) - Kindle edition by Walton, Jo. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Farthing: A Story of a World that Could Have Been (Small Change Book 1).
www.amazon.com
December 28, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Farthing, my alternate history mystery novel about why good people do bad things is $1.99 as an ebook right now in the US www.amazon.com/Farthing-Sto...
Reposted by Captain Awkward
You want me to look back on 2025? The thing that doomed Orpheus? The thing that turned Lot’s wife to salt?
December 29, 2025 at 10:18 PM
You want me to look back on 2025? The thing that doomed Orpheus? The thing that turned Lot’s wife to salt?
@meganstielstra.bsky.social I really liked your essay. #feelings (@jeremydnichols.bsky.social gives good gifts.)
December 29, 2025 at 2:45 PM
@meganstielstra.bsky.social I really liked your essay. #feelings (@jeremydnichols.bsky.social gives good gifts.)
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Reposted by Captain Awkward
Reposted by Captain Awkward
I have not been read this year's Yuletide fics because I've spent the last week or so feeling extremely antisocial but this one is fucking incredible archiveofourown.org/works/73396436
Why one small American town won’t stop stoning its residents to death - Anonymous - The Lottery - Shirley Jackson [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org
December 28, 2025 at 8:27 AM
I have not been read this year's Yuletide fics because I've spent the last week or so feeling extremely antisocial but this one is fucking incredible archiveofourown.org/works/73396436
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Lenée's ask is 89% funded and we can TOTALLY get that to 100% as a New Years' gift, right?
If you can give my friend Lenée a hand with her recovery from surgery I'd be grateful.
gofund.me/f5a53ce52 you can also find me on all major US pay apps via email: sayheylenee @ gmail.
December 28, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Lenée's ask is 89% funded and we can TOTALLY get that to 100% as a New Years' gift, right?
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no it’s not just weapons and knowing how to fight, there’s more to it than that. really there’s a whole world of warcraft
December 27, 2025 at 3:24 PM
no it’s not just weapons and knowing how to fight, there’s more to it than that. really there’s a whole world of warcraft
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"Did you see what Mark Cuban posted? Oh did you see the clapb—"
You shake yourself awake in the cold North Atlantic water. You are not online. It is July of 1858. You are a baleen whale, and you have changed your mind. The future most not come to pass. The telegraph cable must break.
You shake yourself awake in the cold North Atlantic water. You are not online. It is July of 1858. You are a baleen whale, and you have changed your mind. The future most not come to pass. The telegraph cable must break.
December 27, 2025 at 2:06 AM
"Did you see what Mark Cuban posted? Oh did you see the clapb—"
You shake yourself awake in the cold North Atlantic water. You are not online. It is July of 1858. You are a baleen whale, and you have changed your mind. The future most not come to pass. The telegraph cable must break.
You shake yourself awake in the cold North Atlantic water. You are not online. It is July of 1858. You are a baleen whale, and you have changed your mind. The future most not come to pass. The telegraph cable must break.
Reposted by Captain Awkward
it’s like Anthony Bourdain said: once you’ve been to San Francisco, you’ll never stop wanting to beat Marc Andreessen to death with your bare hands
December 26, 2025 at 3:16 PM
it’s like Anthony Bourdain said: once you’ve been to San Francisco, you’ll never stop wanting to beat Marc Andreessen to death with your bare hands
Eyes Wide Shut is 100% a Christmas movie. youtu.be/D16d6DAPpQI
December 26, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Eyes Wide Shut is 100% a Christmas movie. youtu.be/D16d6DAPpQI
We’re attempting Ransom Notes and so far, so good!
December 26, 2025 at 1:20 AM
We’re attempting Ransom Notes and so far, so good!
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Rest in Power, Sharon.
The government doesn’t let this version of White Christmas get a lot of commercial play in retail because it’s simply too good and people would get down too hard in public
Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings "White Christmas"
YouTube video by DaptoneRecords
youtu.be
December 25, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Rest in Power, Sharon.
Christmas vibes only
(No thoughts)(No prayers)
(No thoughts)(No prayers)
December 25, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Christmas vibes only
(No thoughts)(No prayers)
(No thoughts)(No prayers)
Time to make the lasagna.
December 24, 2025 at 9:42 PM
Time to make the lasagna.
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I am immediately reporting this personal attack.
December 24, 2025 at 8:34 PM
I am immediately reporting this personal attack.