Captain Awkward
@captainawkward.bsky.social
Advice blogger, soon-to-be-author. You may remember me as CAwkward on that other site, but I have reclaimed my full title and powers! Here to make new internets to push the bad internets down.
Reposted by Captain Awkward
Reposted by Captain Awkward
Don't mind me, I'm just going to go sit and stare at the wall for a few hours while my brain attempts to assimilate this crucial new information
To anyone that needs clarification, "your best" is what you can accomplish without damage to your physical, mental and emotional health, not what you can accomplish by destroying them
February 14, 2026 at 7:16 AM
Don't mind me, I'm just going to go sit and stare at the wall for a few hours while my brain attempts to assimilate this crucial new information
When the audience claps along with a figure skater’s music it feels like the room is saying “WE GOT U, BUDDY, KEEP GOING” & I hope it feels that way to the skater
February 13, 2026 at 9:39 PM
When the audience claps along with a figure skater’s music it feels like the room is saying “WE GOT U, BUDDY, KEEP GOING” & I hope it feels that way to the skater
Reposted by Captain Awkward
Reposted by Captain Awkward
It was believed in medieval times that hedgehogs had spikes so they could roll over fruit to carry home to their children, which is not true but is a really cute idea
February 13, 2026 at 11:26 AM
It was believed in medieval times that hedgehogs had spikes so they could roll over fruit to carry home to their children, which is not true but is a really cute idea
Reposted by Captain Awkward
Real Estate: It’s Gray Time!
February 13, 2026 at 12:00 AM
Real Estate: It’s Gray Time!
Reposted by Captain Awkward
Best advertisement I’ve seen so far at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival
February 12, 2026 at 10:19 PM
Best advertisement I’ve seen so far at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival
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🎵 "if you could read my mind, love..."🎵
Don't give up on your dreams.
Somewhere out there is an old theater that needs a new ghost, or a crumbling castle that needs a new creature in the catacombs, chasing townsfolk away from the secrets buried within.
Somewhere out there is an old theater that needs a new ghost, or a crumbling castle that needs a new creature in the catacombs, chasing townsfolk away from the secrets buried within.
February 12, 2026 at 11:42 PM
🎵 "if you could read my mind, love..."🎵
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ICE “left” Chicago in November, but they’ve disappeared three people from my community in two days this week.
Don’t believe the hype about them, leaving Minnesota, either.
Don’t believe the hype about them, leaving Minnesota, either.
February 12, 2026 at 6:27 PM
ICE “left” Chicago in November, but they’ve disappeared three people from my community in two days this week.
Don’t believe the hype about them, leaving Minnesota, either.
Don’t believe the hype about them, leaving Minnesota, either.
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This is like the message a doomed Agatha Christie character gets before they wander off on their own to be despatched.
February 12, 2026 at 1:13 PM
This is like the message a doomed Agatha Christie character gets before they wander off on their own to be despatched.
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well i for one couldn’t be more excited for the possibilities of AI. finally a technology that answers the age old question ‘what if clippy was wormtongue’
February 12, 2026 at 1:10 PM
well i for one couldn’t be more excited for the possibilities of AI. finally a technology that answers the age old question ‘what if clippy was wormtongue’
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Gandalf really is heroic when you consider that there were originally five wizards and one of them turned evil, two of them fucked off and went out east to have orgies, and one is just super into talking to gophers. The one last hope of free peoples was the stoner and that crazy mfer did it.
February 12, 2026 at 4:24 AM
Gandalf really is heroic when you consider that there were originally five wizards and one of them turned evil, two of them fucked off and went out east to have orgies, and one is just super into talking to gophers. The one last hope of free peoples was the stoner and that crazy mfer did it.
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When your post gets in the discover feed
February 12, 2026 at 12:40 AM
When your post gets in the discover feed
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Over on threads someone just use ai;dr and we all need to adopt that right quick
February 11, 2026 at 7:56 PM
Over on threads someone just use ai;dr and we all need to adopt that right quick
Reposted by Captain Awkward
This is an old #painting that I did of a 'Hyacinth Macaw,' years ago. I thought it apt for #BirdOfTheDay for the alt. theme of #Blue. #birds #art #artists #art #watercolour #Sennelier #Hyacinth #Macaw #parrot
February 11, 2026 at 5:08 PM
This is an old #painting that I did of a 'Hyacinth Macaw,' years ago. I thought it apt for #BirdOfTheDay for the alt. theme of #Blue. #birds #art #artists #art #watercolour #Sennelier #Hyacinth #Macaw #parrot
Reposted by Captain Awkward
i think about this constantly. tradwife culture absolutely is a kink and no one will acknowledge that it's basically a 24/7 BDSM arrangement but done in an extremely unsafe and dangerous way.
kinksters who can't/won't acknowledge they're participating in kink are a huge social problem right now, imo. ai gooners, trad influencers and breeding-obsessed politicians are all (among other things) perverts who insist they hate perverts.
February 11, 2026 at 4:59 PM
i think about this constantly. tradwife culture absolutely is a kink and no one will acknowledge that it's basically a 24/7 BDSM arrangement but done in an extremely unsafe and dangerous way.
Reposted by Captain Awkward
ICE has been more active in the western Chicago suburbs the last few days, please be careful out there!
February 11, 2026 at 4:01 PM
ICE has been more active in the western Chicago suburbs the last few days, please be careful out there!
Reposted by Captain Awkward
A year ago I lost one of the closest friends I'll ever have. This piece is my attempt to expand & cement his legacy.
Please be gentle with yourself—it's a sad story—but I really hope you'll read it.
Please be gentle with yourself—it's a sad story—but I really hope you'll read it.
Dear Businesslady: Grieving at Work
"It is what it is."
www.thestopgap.net
July 29, 2025 at 4:12 PM
A year ago I lost one of the closest friends I'll ever have. This piece is my attempt to expand & cement his legacy.
Please be gentle with yourself—it's a sad story—but I really hope you'll read it.
Please be gentle with yourself—it's a sad story—but I really hope you'll read it.
Post a tree you photographed
February 11, 2026 at 2:07 PM
Post a tree you photographed
I do bite my thumb, sir. I bite it so hard.
Just ran across a tumblr thread of Slutty Boy 15/16th century mercenaries. Historically accurate costuming! The past was alive, y'all, and it was fabulous.
February 11, 2026 at 9:07 AM
I do bite my thumb, sir. I bite it so hard.
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Do you have to ingest, inhale, or touch her to activate the toxin? That girl is POISON.
Does she deliver the toxin via bite or sting? That girl is VENOM.
Stay safe out there!
Does she deliver the toxin via bite or sting? That girl is VENOM.
Stay safe out there!
February 10, 2026 at 9:46 PM
Do you have to ingest, inhale, or touch her to activate the toxin? That girl is POISON.
Does she deliver the toxin via bite or sting? That girl is VENOM.
Stay safe out there!
Does she deliver the toxin via bite or sting? That girl is VENOM.
Stay safe out there!
When the artist has never, ever seen a human baby but has definitely seen adult women make the fake-smile-pretending-to-listen-good-grief-will-this-NEVER-FUCKING-END face.
February 10, 2026 at 6:46 PM
When the artist has never, ever seen a human baby but has definitely seen adult women make the fake-smile-pretending-to-listen-good-grief-will-this-NEVER-FUCKING-END face.
Reposted by Captain Awkward
Abusers do this. You can never hate them because of what they’ve done to you. You’re just an easily suggestible person who has been duped by malevolent forces working against them. They can’t reckon with their own evil or the fact that they’re undesirable.
They think it's a trend because the media is influencing their kids, never dawns on them that their kids just don't like them because of how they treat them & now that they have a choice, won't choose their company.
February 10, 2026 at 6:36 PM
Abusers do this. You can never hate them because of what they’ve done to you. You’re just an easily suggestible person who has been duped by malevolent forces working against them. They can’t reckon with their own evil or the fact that they’re undesirable.
Reposted by Captain Awkward
Highlights from judging the elementary school science fair.
An investigation of which household objects conduct electricity.
Can cheese conduct electricity? Apparently so.
Me: You and cheese both conduct electricity. What do you two have in common?
Student: We are both thick
Me: Ah yes of course
An investigation of which household objects conduct electricity.
Can cheese conduct electricity? Apparently so.
Me: You and cheese both conduct electricity. What do you two have in common?
Student: We are both thick
Me: Ah yes of course
February 10, 2026 at 5:23 PM
Highlights from judging the elementary school science fair.
An investigation of which household objects conduct electricity.
Can cheese conduct electricity? Apparently so.
Me: You and cheese both conduct electricity. What do you two have in common?
Student: We are both thick
Me: Ah yes of course
An investigation of which household objects conduct electricity.
Can cheese conduct electricity? Apparently so.
Me: You and cheese both conduct electricity. What do you two have in common?
Student: We are both thick
Me: Ah yes of course