Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
All that we have are the mysteries hidden in misty forests.
Contributor to:
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
Contributor to:
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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My hope for you is that you always feel safe and warm, and that you will someday find yourself surrounded by wild Muppets in the heart of the forest, with plenty of wine & books and without a care in the world.
Which best matches your mood?
1. bird in a storm
2. slowly sinking sailboat
3. ghost without a haunt
4. weird potato
1. bird in a storm
2. slowly sinking sailboat
3. ghost without a haunt
4. weird potato
November 14, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Which best matches your mood?
1. bird in a storm
2. slowly sinking sailboat
3. ghost without a haunt
4. weird potato
1. bird in a storm
2. slowly sinking sailboat
3. ghost without a haunt
4. weird potato
Be yourself.
Be helpful if you can.
Be insufferable if you have to.
Be as dark as you wish.
Be the reason a forest is considered haunted.
But most of all, be kind and stay weird.
Be helpful if you can.
Be insufferable if you have to.
Be as dark as you wish.
Be the reason a forest is considered haunted.
But most of all, be kind and stay weird.
November 13, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Be yourself.
Be helpful if you can.
Be insufferable if you have to.
Be as dark as you wish.
Be the reason a forest is considered haunted.
But most of all, be kind and stay weird.
Be helpful if you can.
Be insufferable if you have to.
Be as dark as you wish.
Be the reason a forest is considered haunted.
But most of all, be kind and stay weird.
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
Friends, please speak with a doctor if you spend more than 3 nights per week covered in moss, eyes agleam, and being the reason a forest is considered haunted.
October 27, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Friends, please speak with a doctor if you spend more than 3 nights per week covered in moss, eyes agleam, and being the reason a forest is considered haunted.
Your afternoon weather:
- heavy brain fog incoming
- followed by a hailstorm of indecision
- expect scattered showers of wistfulness & existential dread
- 75% chance of heavy sighing and ennui will continue into tomorrow
- heavy brain fog incoming
- followed by a hailstorm of indecision
- expect scattered showers of wistfulness & existential dread
- 75% chance of heavy sighing and ennui will continue into tomorrow
November 13, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Your afternoon weather:
- heavy brain fog incoming
- followed by a hailstorm of indecision
- expect scattered showers of wistfulness & existential dread
- 75% chance of heavy sighing and ennui will continue into tomorrow
- heavy brain fog incoming
- followed by a hailstorm of indecision
- expect scattered showers of wistfulness & existential dread
- 75% chance of heavy sighing and ennui will continue into tomorrow
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
Turn that frown upside down.
Ok, now keep turning it around and back down again, creating a powerful Super-Frown.
A frown so deep that its dark power is felt even by sightless creatures of the lightless abyss.
Ok, now keep turning it around and back down again, creating a powerful Super-Frown.
A frown so deep that its dark power is felt even by sightless creatures of the lightless abyss.
October 25, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Turn that frown upside down.
Ok, now keep turning it around and back down again, creating a powerful Super-Frown.
A frown so deep that its dark power is felt even by sightless creatures of the lightless abyss.
Ok, now keep turning it around and back down again, creating a powerful Super-Frown.
A frown so deep that its dark power is felt even by sightless creatures of the lightless abyss.
Your daily fortune:
Little by little, we can make the world better. That’s also a good way to eat a really large burrito.
Little by little, we can make the world better. That’s also a good way to eat a really large burrito.
November 13, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Your daily fortune:
Little by little, we can make the world better. That’s also a good way to eat a really large burrito.
Little by little, we can make the world better. That’s also a good way to eat a really large burrito.
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
Choose your weapon:
1. cartoonishly large hammer
2. dark fairy dagger
3. monkey ninjas
4. scathing wit & withering insults
1. cartoonishly large hammer
2. dark fairy dagger
3. monkey ninjas
4. scathing wit & withering insults
November 11, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Choose your weapon:
1. cartoonishly large hammer
2. dark fairy dagger
3. monkey ninjas
4. scathing wit & withering insults
1. cartoonishly large hammer
2. dark fairy dagger
3. monkey ninjas
4. scathing wit & withering insults
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
Night time is the right time to relax.
Night time is the right time for love.
Night time is the right time to shamble in the shadows.
Night time is the right time to unfurl your great black wings and soar over the wildlands and under the dim light of stars.
Night time is the right time for love.
Night time is the right time to shamble in the shadows.
Night time is the right time to unfurl your great black wings and soar over the wildlands and under the dim light of stars.
October 27, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Night time is the right time to relax.
Night time is the right time for love.
Night time is the right time to shamble in the shadows.
Night time is the right time to unfurl your great black wings and soar over the wildlands and under the dim light of stars.
Night time is the right time for love.
Night time is the right time to shamble in the shadows.
Night time is the right time to unfurl your great black wings and soar over the wildlands and under the dim light of stars.
This meeting could have been an email.
Even better, it could have been summarized on ink stained parchment, rolled up into a tube made of ancient bone, and delivered by a witch trained raven, still smelling of sulpher and malice.
Even better, it could have been summarized on ink stained parchment, rolled up into a tube made of ancient bone, and delivered by a witch trained raven, still smelling of sulpher and malice.
November 13, 2025 at 3:02 AM
This meeting could have been an email.
Even better, it could have been summarized on ink stained parchment, rolled up into a tube made of ancient bone, and delivered by a witch trained raven, still smelling of sulpher and malice.
Even better, it could have been summarized on ink stained parchment, rolled up into a tube made of ancient bone, and delivered by a witch trained raven, still smelling of sulpher and malice.
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
What would you like in your dream home?
1. basement bar
2. conservatory & planetarium
3. secret libraries within libraries
4. benevolent ghost or two
1. basement bar
2. conservatory & planetarium
3. secret libraries within libraries
4. benevolent ghost or two
November 12, 2025 at 3:45 AM
What would you like in your dream home?
1. basement bar
2. conservatory & planetarium
3. secret libraries within libraries
4. benevolent ghost or two
1. basement bar
2. conservatory & planetarium
3. secret libraries within libraries
4. benevolent ghost or two
Which best matches your mood?
- sad/happy
- deflated balloon
- disgruntled dragon
- antler on the forest floor
- mossy ruins in the rain
- ghost in the fog
- sad/happy
- deflated balloon
- disgruntled dragon
- antler on the forest floor
- mossy ruins in the rain
- ghost in the fog
November 12, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Which best matches your mood?
- sad/happy
- deflated balloon
- disgruntled dragon
- antler on the forest floor
- mossy ruins in the rain
- ghost in the fog
- sad/happy
- deflated balloon
- disgruntled dragon
- antler on the forest floor
- mossy ruins in the rain
- ghost in the fog
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
Bring new things into the world.
Sing pretty paintings.
Paint beautiful songs.
Craft a golem of antlers and spite, animate it with dark magic, and send it to work in your place instead.
Sing pretty paintings.
Paint beautiful songs.
Craft a golem of antlers and spite, animate it with dark magic, and send it to work in your place instead.
October 26, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Bring new things into the world.
Sing pretty paintings.
Paint beautiful songs.
Craft a golem of antlers and spite, animate it with dark magic, and send it to work in your place instead.
Sing pretty paintings.
Paint beautiful songs.
Craft a golem of antlers and spite, animate it with dark magic, and send it to work in your place instead.
Your daily fortune:
Don't stress about being the the best or the worst. Most of us do just fine floating along here in the middle.
Don't stress about being the the best or the worst. Most of us do just fine floating along here in the middle.
November 12, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Your daily fortune:
Don't stress about being the the best or the worst. Most of us do just fine floating along here in the middle.
Don't stress about being the the best or the worst. Most of us do just fine floating along here in the middle.
What would you like in your dream home?
1. basement bar
2. conservatory & planetarium
3. secret libraries within libraries
4. benevolent ghost or two
1. basement bar
2. conservatory & planetarium
3. secret libraries within libraries
4. benevolent ghost or two
November 12, 2025 at 3:45 AM
What would you like in your dream home?
1. basement bar
2. conservatory & planetarium
3. secret libraries within libraries
4. benevolent ghost or two
1. basement bar
2. conservatory & planetarium
3. secret libraries within libraries
4. benevolent ghost or two
Never give up.
Somewhere in the world, there's a haunted manor house on the moors with a mysterious caretaker, indifferent cats, and secret libraries within libraries, waiting for you in the darkness.
Somewhere in the world, there's a haunted manor house on the moors with a mysterious caretaker, indifferent cats, and secret libraries within libraries, waiting for you in the darkness.
November 11, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Never give up.
Somewhere in the world, there's a haunted manor house on the moors with a mysterious caretaker, indifferent cats, and secret libraries within libraries, waiting for you in the darkness.
Somewhere in the world, there's a haunted manor house on the moors with a mysterious caretaker, indifferent cats, and secret libraries within libraries, waiting for you in the darkness.
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
We offer all new employees a chance to wrestle the moat monster for health care on day one.
November 11, 2025 at 1:53 AM
We offer all new employees a chance to wrestle the moat monster for health care on day one.
Your weather for today:
- possible showers
- possible sunbreaks
- everything is possible in an infinite multiverse
- there's another you out there who is piloting a solar space blimp through the cosmos, smuggling bootleg gin & forbidden books
- wear layers
- possible showers
- possible sunbreaks
- everything is possible in an infinite multiverse
- there's another you out there who is piloting a solar space blimp through the cosmos, smuggling bootleg gin & forbidden books
- wear layers
November 11, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Your weather for today:
- possible showers
- possible sunbreaks
- everything is possible in an infinite multiverse
- there's another you out there who is piloting a solar space blimp through the cosmos, smuggling bootleg gin & forbidden books
- wear layers
- possible showers
- possible sunbreaks
- everything is possible in an infinite multiverse
- there's another you out there who is piloting a solar space blimp through the cosmos, smuggling bootleg gin & forbidden books
- wear layers
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
It's never too late to care.
It's never too late to try something new.
It's never too late to read forbidden books.
It's never too late to learn the old magic.
It's never too late to build an unstable catapult that launches balls of swords.
It's never too late to try something new.
It's never too late to read forbidden books.
It's never too late to learn the old magic.
It's never too late to build an unstable catapult that launches balls of swords.
October 26, 2025 at 8:31 PM
It's never too late to care.
It's never too late to try something new.
It's never too late to read forbidden books.
It's never too late to learn the old magic.
It's never too late to build an unstable catapult that launches balls of swords.
It's never too late to try something new.
It's never too late to read forbidden books.
It's never too late to learn the old magic.
It's never too late to build an unstable catapult that launches balls of swords.
Your daily fortune:
Adventure might be waiting around every corner, but so may an octopus with knives.
Adventure might be waiting around every corner, but so may an octopus with knives.
November 11, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Your daily fortune:
Adventure might be waiting around every corner, but so may an octopus with knives.
Adventure might be waiting around every corner, but so may an octopus with knives.
I may have to retire, because Eric Idle just quoted me with a Monty Python joke. What a strange and beautiful world.
Yellow. No blue.
Traffic update:
If you're heading over the Troll Bridge today, his 3 riddles include questions about goat grooming, historical wigs, and ghost bones.
Good luck!
If you're heading over the Troll Bridge today, his 3 riddles include questions about goat grooming, historical wigs, and ghost bones.
Good luck!
November 11, 2025 at 4:10 AM
I may have to retire, because Eric Idle just quoted me with a Monty Python joke. What a strange and beautiful world.
Choose your weapon:
1. cartoonishly large hammer
2. dark fairy dagger
3. monkey ninjas
4. scathing wit & withering insults
1. cartoonishly large hammer
2. dark fairy dagger
3. monkey ninjas
4. scathing wit & withering insults
November 11, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Choose your weapon:
1. cartoonishly large hammer
2. dark fairy dagger
3. monkey ninjas
4. scathing wit & withering insults
1. cartoonishly large hammer
2. dark fairy dagger
3. monkey ninjas
4. scathing wit & withering insults
Traffic update:
If you're heading over the Troll Bridge today, his 3 riddles include questions about goat grooming, historical wigs, and ghost bones.
Good luck!
If you're heading over the Troll Bridge today, his 3 riddles include questions about goat grooming, historical wigs, and ghost bones.
Good luck!
November 11, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Traffic update:
If you're heading over the Troll Bridge today, his 3 riddles include questions about goat grooming, historical wigs, and ghost bones.
Good luck!
If you're heading over the Troll Bridge today, his 3 riddles include questions about goat grooming, historical wigs, and ghost bones.
Good luck!
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
Where do you seek advice?
1. friends & family
2. forbidden books
3. witches of the wildlands
4. deep wisdom of the Muppets
1. friends & family
2. forbidden books
3. witches of the wildlands
4. deep wisdom of the Muppets
November 10, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Where do you seek advice?
1. friends & family
2. forbidden books
3. witches of the wildlands
4. deep wisdom of the Muppets
1. friends & family
2. forbidden books
3. witches of the wildlands
4. deep wisdom of the Muppets
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
Tips to help you through Autumn:
- weather proof your top-hats and fanciful wigs
- sew a Victorian whaler's widow Halloween costume
- plant enchanted bones as a ghost fence
- leave offerings of rum for the twig witch
- learn to live in darkness
- weather proof your top-hats and fanciful wigs
- sew a Victorian whaler's widow Halloween costume
- plant enchanted bones as a ghost fence
- leave offerings of rum for the twig witch
- learn to live in darkness
October 25, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Tips to help you through Autumn:
- weather proof your top-hats and fanciful wigs
- sew a Victorian whaler's widow Halloween costume
- plant enchanted bones as a ghost fence
- leave offerings of rum for the twig witch
- learn to live in darkness
- weather proof your top-hats and fanciful wigs
- sew a Victorian whaler's widow Halloween costume
- plant enchanted bones as a ghost fence
- leave offerings of rum for the twig witch
- learn to live in darkness
Don't stop searching for joy.
Track it down if you can.
Look in cluttered bookstores, historic theaters, haunted playgrounds, and misty moors.
Take joy out for tea, adventure, and gentle mischief across the land.
Track it down if you can.
Look in cluttered bookstores, historic theaters, haunted playgrounds, and misty moors.
Take joy out for tea, adventure, and gentle mischief across the land.
November 10, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Don't stop searching for joy.
Track it down if you can.
Look in cluttered bookstores, historic theaters, haunted playgrounds, and misty moors.
Take joy out for tea, adventure, and gentle mischief across the land.
Track it down if you can.
Look in cluttered bookstores, historic theaters, haunted playgrounds, and misty moors.
Take joy out for tea, adventure, and gentle mischief across the land.