Alan Beattie
@alanbeattie.bsky.social
FT opiner, London. Globalisation, trade, econ, snark. Londoner, northerner, Brit, European. Noun-lister. RT≠👍. Views own. alan.beattie@ft.com. FT Trade Secrets newsletter https://subs.ft.com/spa3_tradesecrets?segmentId=357afa03-959c-93ed-0842-58e2115025d4.
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Alan Beattie
@alanbeattie.bsky.social
· Dec 1
Just been reminded of this corker from Paul Valéry: "The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us."
Not me, obviously, but quite a lot of you have this problem.
Not me, obviously, but quite a lot of you have this problem.
This is not a nutritional guide. It's a cross between a still life and a Richard Scarry.
This is all pretty meh and conventional (thankfully)
*WHITE HOUSE POST IMAGE OF NEW FOOD PYRAMID IN POST ON X
*RFK JR: NEW DIET GUIDELINES FOCUS ON PROTEIN, HEALTHY FATS
*FDA COMMISSIONER MARTY MAKARY SPEAKS AT THE WHITE HOUSE
*MAKARY: INCREASING PROTEIN RECOMMENDATION BY 50-100%
*WHITE HOUSE POST IMAGE OF NEW FOOD PYRAMID IN POST ON X
*RFK JR: NEW DIET GUIDELINES FOCUS ON PROTEIN, HEALTHY FATS
*FDA COMMISSIONER MARTY MAKARY SPEAKS AT THE WHITE HOUSE
*MAKARY: INCREASING PROTEIN RECOMMENDATION BY 50-100%
January 7, 2026 at 5:32 PM
This is not a nutritional guide. It's a cross between a still life and a Richard Scarry.
Smart take.
This.
Most annoying twitterisms from the 2010s, I’ll start
“I’m literally shaking”
“Spat my coffee”
“I’m literally shaking”
“Spat my coffee”
January 7, 2026 at 5:20 PM
Smart take.
Reposted by Alan Beattie
If you missed this question to Nigel Farage from The Critic's Rob Hutton – and it was over an hour into the press conference – then it was a particularly good one. The answer was... vague.
January 7, 2026 at 11:50 AM
If you missed this question to Nigel Farage from The Critic's Rob Hutton – and it was over an hour into the press conference – then it was a particularly good one. The answer was... vague.
Watch your step, London. It’s icy out there. The council should do more gritting. #Dadthoughts
January 7, 2026 at 7:42 AM
Watch your step, London. It’s icy out there. The council should do more gritting. #Dadthoughts
Reposted by Alan Beattie
Sublime shithousery from the @financialtimes.com 🤌🏽
Who’s who at X, the deepfake porn site formerly known as Twitter: shorturl.at/QkJ5A
Who’s who at X, the deepfake porn site formerly known as Twitter: shorturl.at/QkJ5A
January 6, 2026 at 6:37 PM
Sublime shithousery from the @financialtimes.com 🤌🏽
Who’s who at X, the deepfake porn site formerly known as Twitter: shorturl.at/QkJ5A
Who’s who at X, the deepfake porn site formerly known as Twitter: shorturl.at/QkJ5A
Reposted by Alan Beattie
The EU easing restrictions on new genomic techniques for food is an important break from the precautionary reflex that has long shaped EU policy & may also have large, positive effects for low- & mid-income countries dealing with rising food insecurity. By @cullenhendrix.bsky.social:
Europe's new biotech rules could buttress global food security
The European Union recently agreed to ease restrictions on new genomic techniques (NGTs) for food, in the most significant change to Europe’s stringent regulatory approach to crop biotechnology in two...
www.piie.com
January 6, 2026 at 6:17 PM
The EU easing restrictions on new genomic techniques for food is an important break from the precautionary reflex that has long shaped EU policy & may also have large, positive effects for low- & mid-income countries dealing with rising food insecurity. By @cullenhendrix.bsky.social:
Reposted by Alan Beattie
“Petrodollar” should be reserved for when large US petroleum trade deficits led to $ outflows that needed to be recycled and high oil meant a weak $. It is absurd to use the term for the $s behavior after the shale revolution when it behaved like a commodity currency in response to +ve ToT shocks.
January 5, 2026 at 5:45 PM
“Petrodollar” should be reserved for when large US petroleum trade deficits led to $ outflows that needed to be recycled and high oil meant a weak $. It is absurd to use the term for the $s behavior after the shale revolution when it behaved like a commodity currency in response to +ve ToT shocks.
Reposted by Alan Beattie
While we’re having a nice chat amongst ourselves, may be worth wondering what the EU is willing to give? Unless, of course, this really is just posturing amongst ourselves.
The red line blurring commences. Given growing Brexit scepticism in the public at large, and particularly on the left bloc, expect this to continue
UK should seek ‘closer alignment’ with EU single market, Starmer says ft.trib.al/ZRwzfBP
January 4, 2026 at 12:48 PM
While we’re having a nice chat amongst ourselves, may be worth wondering what the EU is willing to give? Unless, of course, this really is just posturing amongst ourselves.
Reposted by Alan Beattie
I was wondering how this might all turn out to have been my fault
January 4, 2026 at 1:59 AM
I was wondering how this might all turn out to have been my fault
Reposted by Alan Beattie
The cynics think today's attack on Venezuela is staged and transactional. Maduro is allied with Putin, but in 2019 Putin offered Trump a swap: Russia cedes Venezuela and gets Ukraine. (See Fiona Hill's testimony in Trump's first impeachment trial, h/t @davetroy.com). Even Maduro may be in on it. 2/
January 3, 2026 at 4:22 PM
The cynics think today's attack on Venezuela is staged and transactional. Maduro is allied with Putin, but in 2019 Putin offered Trump a swap: Russia cedes Venezuela and gets Ukraine. (See Fiona Hill's testimony in Trump's first impeachment trial, h/t @davetroy.com). Even Maduro may be in on it. 2/
Reposted by Alan Beattie
Pay no attention to Trump's incoherent rambling. They have not thought through how to expropriate the oil. There is no US oil major that would operate in Venezuela in its current condition.
And the oil…
January 3, 2026 at 5:23 PM
Pay no attention to Trump's incoherent rambling. They have not thought through how to expropriate the oil. There is no US oil major that would operate in Venezuela in its current condition.
Packing some fish in a basket just to creel something.
Setting up a blacksmithy, just to anneal something
doing the first lesbian kiss on a British TV show, just to Friel something
January 1, 2026 at 1:05 PM
Packing some fish in a basket just to creel something.
Reposted by Alan Beattie
if you can't afford clothes, it's not clothing poverty, it's poverty. If you can't afford sanitary protection, it's not period poverty, it's poverty. Divvying up poverty into little bits hides the fact that poverty is poverty and gives right-wingers an in to say "poor people need to budget better."
Charity warns of rise in 'clothing poverty'.
Profiteering and cuts in real wages force people rely on charity.
Charity provides food, clothing, air ambulance, hospices and more in the 6th largest economy.
1% have more wealth than 70% of the population combined.
Profiteering and cuts in real wages force people rely on charity.
Charity provides food, clothing, air ambulance, hospices and more in the 6th largest economy.
1% have more wealth than 70% of the population combined.
Charity warns of rise in 'clothing poverty' among working people
The Sharewear Clothing Scheme in Nottingham says demand is so high it is running out of clothes.
www.bbc.co.uk
December 31, 2025 at 9:06 AM
if you can't afford clothes, it's not clothing poverty, it's poverty. If you can't afford sanitary protection, it's not period poverty, it's poverty. Divvying up poverty into little bits hides the fact that poverty is poverty and gives right-wingers an in to say "poor people need to budget better."
Reposted by Alan Beattie
I think the key to answering this question is understanding Starmer/Reeves unpopularity among natural allies. A majority of Laboir voters disapprove of him, as do large majorities of LD/Green voters. Hostility from natural political opponents is normal. Hostility from natural supporters is not.
Glad the FT is asking the question. Even if I’m not convinced they found a compelling answer.
I get that Starmer & Reeves are unpopular, I really don’t understand the extent of the dislike.
www.ft.com/content/1995... ‘There’s a real dislike, even loathing’: why voters hate Starmer and Reeves
I get that Starmer & Reeves are unpopular, I really don’t understand the extent of the dislike.
www.ft.com/content/1995... ‘There’s a real dislike, even loathing’: why voters hate Starmer and Reeves
‘There’s a real dislike, even loathing’: why voters hate Starmer and Reeves
Allies concede the prime minister and chancellor have made mistakes yet the level of disdain towards them is still striking
www.ft.com
December 31, 2025 at 9:16 AM
I think the key to answering this question is understanding Starmer/Reeves unpopularity among natural allies. A majority of Laboir voters disapprove of him, as do large majorities of LD/Green voters. Hostility from natural political opponents is normal. Hostility from natural supporters is not.
Also just to make the obvious point: without Brexit Cameron does at least a decade in power, probably more. The PM churn since 2015 is largely self-inflicted. But obvs Labour still in denial about that being the country's major problem so it's got to be *waves hands* entirely something else.
From this vg piece on Starmer's popularity, a depressing example of Westminster insularity. There were 7 German chancellors (8 counting an acting one) in the 42 years before the iPhone & only three since. Ditto only 3 Spanish PMs since 2004. Look across the Channel lads.
www.ft.com/content/1995...
www.ft.com/content/1995...
December 31, 2025 at 10:01 AM
Also just to make the obvious point: without Brexit Cameron does at least a decade in power, probably more. The PM churn since 2015 is largely self-inflicted. But obvs Labour still in denial about that being the country's major problem so it's got to be *waves hands* entirely something else.
From this vg piece on Starmer's popularity, a depressing example of Westminster insularity. There were 7 German chancellors (8 counting an acting one) in the 42 years before the iPhone & only three since. Ditto only 3 Spanish PMs since 2004. Look across the Channel lads.
www.ft.com/content/1995...
www.ft.com/content/1995...
December 31, 2025 at 9:33 AM
From this vg piece on Starmer's popularity, a depressing example of Westminster insularity. There were 7 German chancellors (8 counting an acting one) in the 42 years before the iPhone & only three since. Ditto only 3 Spanish PMs since 2004. Look across the Channel lads.
www.ft.com/content/1995...
www.ft.com/content/1995...
Same as every year: simply expressing a personal opinion that I for one do not like jazz.
Each time the jazz bores descend insisting it’s just that I haven’t listened to the right kind of jazz, acting with the demented fanaticism of those trying to validate their own bad decisions.
Each time the jazz bores descend insisting it’s just that I haven’t listened to the right kind of jazz, acting with the demented fanaticism of those trying to validate their own bad decisions.
What’s the funniest reason someone got mad at you on Bluesky this year?
December 30, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Same as every year: simply expressing a personal opinion that I for one do not like jazz.
Each time the jazz bores descend insisting it’s just that I haven’t listened to the right kind of jazz, acting with the demented fanaticism of those trying to validate their own bad decisions.
Each time the jazz bores descend insisting it’s just that I haven’t listened to the right kind of jazz, acting with the demented fanaticism of those trying to validate their own bad decisions.
Bob Willis’s auntie used to live down my street. She was really nice and gave my mate Richard and me sweets, but if he ever visited her I didn’t see him.
Please quote this with the time you didn’t interact with someone famous - eg one time I was in Cardiff the same weekend as Willem Dafoe (but I didn’t see him or even know he was there until he appeared on the telly later)
Please quote this with your major interactions with massive celebrities. eg “I was married to the pope for fifteen years”
December 30, 2025 at 1:28 PM
Bob Willis’s auntie used to live down my street. She was really nice and gave my mate Richard and me sweets, but if he ever visited her I didn’t see him.
I’m a prime minister with an inappropriate infatuation with a young woman.
Well, now I'm an English professor...
December 30, 2025 at 9:05 AM
I’m a prime minister with an inappropriate infatuation with a young woman.
In the Herne Hill Sainsbury’s Local early one Saturday morning, I had a sleeping baby in a sling and was struggling to bend down to pick up a Weekend FT. A nice man helped me. It was local resident Mark Rylance.
At least I think it was Mark Rylance. I was kind of sleep-deprived and groggy tbh.
At least I think it was Mark Rylance. I was kind of sleep-deprived and groggy tbh.
Sitting in the library catalogue room, looking up a shelf mark. As I move to fill in the request slip, I realise I don’t have a pen. I ask my neighbour if I can borrow hers.
“Here, but if you break the nib, I’ll bust you up.”
I look up in astonishment.
It’s Germaine Greer.
“Here, but if you break the nib, I’ll bust you up.”
I look up in astonishment.
It’s Germaine Greer.
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
December 29, 2025 at 8:46 PM
In the Herne Hill Sainsbury’s Local early one Saturday morning, I had a sleeping baby in a sling and was struggling to bend down to pick up a Weekend FT. A nice man helped me. It was local resident Mark Rylance.
At least I think it was Mark Rylance. I was kind of sleep-deprived and groggy tbh.
At least I think it was Mark Rylance. I was kind of sleep-deprived and groggy tbh.
Twixtmas is a weird time of year, isn’t it? Really plays with your head. Doesn’t feel like Tuesday at all today. Still. It’ll soon be 2025 I guess.
December 29, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Twixtmas is a weird time of year, isn’t it? Really plays with your head. Doesn’t feel like Tuesday at all today. Still. It’ll soon be 2025 I guess.
Reposted by Alan Beattie
LeMonde said, not on our watch
December 28, 2025 at 4:25 PM
LeMonde said, not on our watch
I realise this is an incredibly facile gag, but what idiot carries around a tenth of a mobile phone? Would make more sense to share a second mobile phone between you and nine friends. Or just stick with one, if that sounds like it's more trouble than it's worth.
The average person in the world has 1.1 mobile phones ourworldindata.org/internet
December 27, 2025 at 9:29 AM
I realise this is an incredibly facile gag, but what idiot carries around a tenth of a mobile phone? Would make more sense to share a second mobile phone between you and nine friends. Or just stick with one, if that sounds like it's more trouble than it's worth.
Nothing gladdens the heart like the expression "rail replacement service from Rugby".
Still faster and more pleasant than driving though.
Still faster and more pleasant than driving though.
December 27, 2025 at 9:15 AM
Nothing gladdens the heart like the expression "rail replacement service from Rugby".
Still faster and more pleasant than driving though.
Still faster and more pleasant than driving though.