Alan Beattie
@alanbeattie.bsky.social
Opiner for Financial Times in London. Globalisation, econ, snark. RT≠👍. Views own. alan.beattie@ft.com. Sign up to my FT Trade Secrets newsletter https://subs.ft.com/spa3_tradesecrets?segmentId=357afa03-959c-93ed-0842-58e2115025d4.
“Look like you mean it. Look down at the ground and say sorry.”
November 13, 2025 at 9:56 PM
“Look like you mean it. Look down at the ground and say sorry.”
Right but he doesn’t do that.
An alternative is to grow the fuck up and recognise being PM comes with some costs and not going to football for a few years might be one of them.
An alternative is to grow the fuck up and recognise being PM comes with some costs and not going to football for a few years might be one of them.
November 13, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Right but he doesn’t do that.
An alternative is to grow the fuck up and recognise being PM comes with some costs and not going to football for a few years might be one of them.
An alternative is to grow the fuck up and recognise being PM comes with some costs and not going to football for a few years might be one of them.
TBF he's very busy being wrong about something else, and I'd like to know what disastrous left-wing policies the Labor [sic] party has been following in the UK.
November 11, 2025 at 6:07 PM
TBF he's very busy being wrong about something else, and I'd like to know what disastrous left-wing policies the Labor [sic] party has been following in the UK.
“Unlikely”. Tremendous understatement, epic work.
November 10, 2025 at 8:38 PM
“Unlikely”. Tremendous understatement, epic work.
1. Clampdown on benefit cheats!
2. Clampdown on benefit cheats doesn’t work.
3. Blitz on red tape!
4. Blitz on red tape doesn’t work.
5. Go to 1.
Currently we’re between 3 and 4. I’m confident we’ll be back at 1 by Christmas.
2. Clampdown on benefit cheats doesn’t work.
3. Blitz on red tape!
4. Blitz on red tape doesn’t work.
5. Go to 1.
Currently we’re between 3 and 4. I’m confident we’ll be back at 1 by Christmas.
November 9, 2025 at 12:24 PM
1. Clampdown on benefit cheats!
2. Clampdown on benefit cheats doesn’t work.
3. Blitz on red tape!
4. Blitz on red tape doesn’t work.
5. Go to 1.
Currently we’re between 3 and 4. I’m confident we’ll be back at 1 by Christmas.
2. Clampdown on benefit cheats doesn’t work.
3. Blitz on red tape!
4. Blitz on red tape doesn’t work.
5. Go to 1.
Currently we’re between 3 and 4. I’m confident we’ll be back at 1 by Christmas.
Are we still doing these?
November 9, 2025 at 6:11 AM
Are we still doing these?
Along with the meatpacking rant, further evidence Trump has clocked the cost-of-living issue but has no idea what to do about it. I guess cutting tariffs is out of the question.
(NB I reckon that despite tariffs, inflationary risks from services are probably bigger than those from goods.)
(NB I reckon that despite tariffs, inflationary risks from services are probably bigger than those from goods.)
November 8, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Along with the meatpacking rant, further evidence Trump has clocked the cost-of-living issue but has no idea what to do about it. I guess cutting tariffs is out of the question.
(NB I reckon that despite tariffs, inflationary risks from services are probably bigger than those from goods.)
(NB I reckon that despite tariffs, inflationary risks from services are probably bigger than those from goods.)
Trump reinventing himself as a mash-up of Teddy Roosevelt and Upton Sinclair was not what I had on my bingo card for 2025, and yet here we are.
November 7, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Trump reinventing himself as a mash-up of Teddy Roosevelt and Upton Sinclair was not what I had on my bingo card for 2025, and yet here we are.
Apologies for being a Twitter screengrab but the Sunray Estate to this day maintains pretty fierce planning rules eg you have to paint your house one of only four colours etc.
November 7, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Apologies for being a Twitter screengrab but the Sunray Estate to this day maintains pretty fierce planning rules eg you have to paint your house one of only four colours etc.
I’m told they get much less interesting when you get to secondary school. This was floating around on Facebook.
November 7, 2025 at 8:29 AM
I’m told they get much less interesting when you get to secondary school. This was floating around on Facebook.
I realise these stories aren't actually funny and yet they are. They so are.
November 5, 2025 at 12:41 PM
I realise these stories aren't actually funny and yet they are. They so are.
Anything that causes Hershey’s to put less cocoa in their chocolate is fine by me. It won’t taste so much of vomit that way.
November 2, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Anything that causes Hershey’s to put less cocoa in their chocolate is fine by me. It won’t taste so much of vomit that way.
October 30, 2025 at 9:29 AM
A leaf from a tree outside the kids’ school, which each autumn goes red starting at the top and moving down. My tree identification app says it’s a Formosa sweet-gum.
October 25, 2025 at 2:14 PM
A leaf from a tree outside the kids’ school, which each autumn goes red starting at the top and moving down. My tree identification app says it’s a Formosa sweet-gum.
Well, I'm thinking of the bimetallists ie looser monetary policy and prioritising manufacturing (and farming) over finance, which is more conventionally left-wing than what we now mean by "populist". But I agree people should really have updated their political terminology since 1896.
October 25, 2025 at 10:20 AM
Well, I'm thinking of the bimetallists ie looser monetary policy and prioritising manufacturing (and farming) over finance, which is more conventionally left-wing than what we now mean by "populist". But I agree people should really have updated their political terminology since 1896.
The scriptwriters need to wind this one in a bit, I’ve heard of French farces but
October 22, 2025 at 6:05 PM
The scriptwriters need to wind this one in a bit, I’ve heard of French farces but
Nice view of the Tower Bridge from the platform at Blackfriars. How’s the vista at Moorgate?
October 22, 2025 at 8:15 AM
Nice view of the Tower Bridge from the platform at Blackfriars. How’s the vista at Moorgate?
Just waiting in the open air for my 11-minute train in to London’s loveliest station, Blackfriars.
October 22, 2025 at 7:32 AM
Just waiting in the open air for my 11-minute train in to London’s loveliest station, Blackfriars.