Reneé Meredith
banner
wumother.bsky.social
Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
Pinned
It was the motherest of times, it was the fuckerest of times
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
He had salt and pepper hair. And oregano eyebrows. His lips were basil leaves. His entire head was a jar of Italian seasoning
December 6, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
I just want the confidence of a napping husband
October 30, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
Every year I listen to my Spotify Wrapped and think "wow, I've got great taste." Somehow it's always a surprise that I like the same music as myself
December 5, 2025 at 2:05 PM
We need to verb more nouns. Like “Sorry I can’t go to your party I’m baked beansing that night.” Or “I totally cunted my way through that job interview.”
December 7, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
Can you believe the thing that happened recently?

It is very different from previous things!
December 7, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
My toxic trait is saying "we’ll see" knowing damn well I already saw and the answer is fuck no.
May 4, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
i do not think therefore i do not am
December 4, 2025 at 11:43 PM
If you’re going to celebrate today please don historically accurate garb: a hungry face of entitlement, the will to bitchslap a child if it means a chance for a free toaster, and sensible shoes.
November 28, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
Everything I'm doing fits in less and less. Take living in a hole hoarding all positive space for example
November 28, 2025 at 6:04 AM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
You can fit more pie in if you orient the taper of the wedge properly
November 27, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
Time to start leaving out milk and cookies for the porch thieves.
November 28, 2025 at 6:09 AM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
Given the intensity with which I hate snow, you'd be forgiven for thinking I ever actually go anywhere.
November 28, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
hunched over in a darkened corner of the kitchen eating leftover pie like i’m gollum with the ring
November 28, 2025 at 12:24 PM
Thanks, giving up.
November 27, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
No health, just mental.
November 27, 2025 at 1:40 PM
We’re all piggy. Stay loud.
November 18, 2025 at 6:21 AM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
need a shorty who open can of beans w her teeth
November 15, 2025 at 5:50 AM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
THE INVENTOR OF BAD NEWS: what if you could be sitting down
November 14, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
Years ago I was suspended on Twitter for inviting Marco Rubio to swallow ten D batteries, which I don’t see how it could be a threat; he and I were not even in the same room and I have at most six D batteries on hand
November 14, 2025 at 6:25 PM
11:11 11/11
November 12, 2025 at 5:12 AM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
Aborted babies crawling around heaven like shrimp
November 8, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Reposted by Reneé Meredith
your honor, every single crunchwrap is more supreme than this court
November 8, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Aging gracefully means embracing HOMO*

*Hope of missing out, yes, but also being at :least: a little bit gay
November 7, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Drunk people in your area can’t wait to tell you how they’re not even drunk
November 4, 2025 at 7:58 AM