Paul F. Tompkins
@pftompkins.bsky.social
TV & standup & improv & podcasts, hardly any movies
paulftompkins.com/live
paulftompkins.com/live
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
this is what happens in your mentions when you make a viral post
February 10, 2026 at 4:32 AM
this is what happens in your mentions when you make a viral post
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
Hunderfossen Adventure Park in Norway (Rauraggen)
February 10, 2026 at 4:25 AM
Hunderfossen Adventure Park in Norway (Rauraggen)
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
I Photoshop Paddington into a movie, TV show, or pop culture until I forget: Day 1792
February 10, 2026 at 8:02 AM
I Photoshop Paddington into a movie, TV show, or pop culture until I forget: Day 1792
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
That’s what’s up.
February 10, 2026 at 5:11 AM
That’s what’s up.
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
Following my boss outside to continue a conversation about my job performance and trying to act cool when she stops at the spot I buried my favourite bone
February 9, 2026 at 11:12 PM
Following my boss outside to continue a conversation about my job performance and trying to act cool when she stops at the spot I buried my favourite bone
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
When you get visited by three Puerto Rican ghosts
February 9, 2026 at 11:05 PM
When you get visited by three Puerto Rican ghosts
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
After a string of ICE murders, Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries proposed reforms — and $11 billion more for ICE.
Including reconciliation bill funding, the Schumer-Jeffries plan would give ICE a $30 billion budget, higher than all but 15 militaries worldwide:
www.stephensemler.com/p/democratic...
Including reconciliation bill funding, the Schumer-Jeffries plan would give ICE a $30 billion budget, higher than all but 15 militaries worldwide:
www.stephensemler.com/p/democratic...
February 9, 2026 at 6:27 PM
After a string of ICE murders, Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries proposed reforms — and $11 billion more for ICE.
Including reconciliation bill funding, the Schumer-Jeffries plan would give ICE a $30 billion budget, higher than all but 15 militaries worldwide:
www.stephensemler.com/p/democratic...
Including reconciliation bill funding, the Schumer-Jeffries plan would give ICE a $30 billion budget, higher than all but 15 militaries worldwide:
www.stephensemler.com/p/democratic...
What a great role for her
February 9, 2026 at 6:55 PM
What a great role for her
Did not watch halftime show, am hearing Bad Bunny married all of us to him through the tv? Woke is too much now I fear
February 9, 2026 at 3:38 AM
Did not watch halftime show, am hearing Bad Bunny married all of us to him through the tv? Woke is too much now I fear
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
Horror movie where you can tell someone’s a demon because pop music in Spanish makes their head explode
February 9, 2026 at 2:22 AM
Horror movie where you can tell someone’s a demon because pop music in Spanish makes their head explode
The silver lining here is that “concluded” would be great as a lethal version of “canceled”
February 8, 2026 at 8:29 PM
The silver lining here is that “concluded” would be great as a lethal version of “canceled”
It sucks that we need excuses to introduce loved ones to Bill Irwin. WHY MUST SOCIETY FORBID IT
February 8, 2026 at 11:31 AM
It sucks that we need excuses to introduce loved ones to Bill Irwin. WHY MUST SOCIETY FORBID IT
Made it S2E1 and what a fun show
February 8, 2026 at 11:29 AM
Made it S2E1 and what a fun show
And it goes without saying:
If beloved clown Bill Irwin shows up in something you better believe I will say “Beloved clown Bill Irwin?” out loud
February 8, 2026 at 7:30 AM
And it goes without saying:
Today I started watching the TV show Legion, which I am enjoying because not only is it freaky, but there is also a fair amount of deakiness going on
February 8, 2026 at 7:19 AM
Today I started watching the TV show Legion, which I am enjoying because not only is it freaky, but there is also a fair amount of deakiness going on
Oh for future reference I never want *anyone* to go to the trouble of joke follow-ups. I really want to take that out of people’s hands by writing self-contained jokes. If you see a joke by me that you think NEEDS a followup, best just to leave it so I can learn by myself. Thank you!
February 8, 2026 at 4:49 AM
Oh for future reference I never want *anyone* to go to the trouble of joke follow-ups. I really want to take that out of people’s hands by writing self-contained jokes. If you see a joke by me that you think NEEDS a followup, best just to leave it so I can learn by myself. Thank you!
Great use of the reply feature
February 8, 2026 at 4:45 AM
Great use of the reply feature
You’re gonna have to catch me first
February 7, 2026 at 9:39 PM
You’re gonna have to catch me first
It was made my racists who were desecrating lad sacred to native people. I don’t know how fair we have to be
February 7, 2026 at 9:38 PM
It was made my racists who were desecrating lad sacred to native people. I don’t know how fair we have to be
That is bananas
February 7, 2026 at 9:37 PM
That is bananas
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
Clapping my flippers together and honking like a harbor seal when a Super Bowl ad for a condiment or gambling app featuring two celebrities unexpectedly reveals a third celebrity as its punchline. Bouncing a ball around on my snout. My wife has to throw me a herring to get me to calm down.
February 6, 2026 at 6:24 PM
Clapping my flippers together and honking like a harbor seal when a Super Bowl ad for a condiment or gambling app featuring two celebrities unexpectedly reveals a third celebrity as its punchline. Bouncing a ball around on my snout. My wife has to throw me a herring to get me to calm down.
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
Suicide is never the answer
February 7, 2026 at 5:19 AM
Suicide is never the answer
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
“Renee Goodman [sic], Alex Pretti – there are no words,” DeLauro said.
“You said there were no words after the murder of those two individuals,” said Rev. Jack Perkins Davidson. “I think the words are ‘Abolish ICE.’”
www.ctpublic.org/news/2026-02...
“You said there were no words after the murder of those two individuals,” said Rev. Jack Perkins Davidson. “I think the words are ‘Abolish ICE.’”
www.ctpublic.org/news/2026-02...
DeLauro to pressing clergy: 'I will not vote to abolish ICE'
The Connecticut U.S. representative found herself at odds with faith leaders.
www.ctpublic.org
February 6, 2026 at 11:28 PM
“Renee Goodman [sic], Alex Pretti – there are no words,” DeLauro said.
“You said there were no words after the murder of those two individuals,” said Rev. Jack Perkins Davidson. “I think the words are ‘Abolish ICE.’”
www.ctpublic.org/news/2026-02...
“You said there were no words after the murder of those two individuals,” said Rev. Jack Perkins Davidson. “I think the words are ‘Abolish ICE.’”
www.ctpublic.org/news/2026-02...