The Card
@thecard.bsky.social
Creator of depressing comics. Liver of a depressing life. Writer of depressing bios.
Speed of light < Speed at which a show vanishes from every streaming platform the instant I decide to revisit it
February 7, 2026 at 4:06 PM
Speed of light < Speed at which a show vanishes from every streaming platform the instant I decide to revisit it
Reposted by The Card
I’ll use your product after I shampoo my hair on one condition
February 5, 2026 at 10:46 PM
I’ll use your product after I shampoo my hair on one condition
From last year. Wherein Cord has questions.
February 7, 2026 at 2:51 PM
From last year. Wherein Cord has questions.
From last year. Wherein Jenkins gets stoked for game day.
February 7, 2026 at 2:37 PM
From last year. Wherein Jenkins gets stoked for game day.
From 2023. Wherein the guys unpack the big game.
February 7, 2026 at 2:20 PM
From 2023. Wherein the guys unpack the big game.
Get psyched for game day (and the soup commercials associated therewith)!
February 7, 2026 at 1:28 PM
Get psyched for game day (and the soup commercials associated therewith)!
Reposted by The Card
Pointing at the screen and asking "Is this Golden Wind?" every five minutes during the Olympic opening ceremonies
February 7, 2026 at 1:40 AM
Pointing at the screen and asking "Is this Golden Wind?" every five minutes during the Olympic opening ceremonies
An action-heavy sequel to The Cider House Rules entitled "The Waffle House Rules."
February 7, 2026 at 12:21 PM
An action-heavy sequel to The Cider House Rules entitled "The Waffle House Rules."
Been feeling very alone lately, albeit not necessarily “has any desire to be part of society” alone.
February 7, 2026 at 11:12 AM
Been feeling very alone lately, albeit not necessarily “has any desire to be part of society” alone.
When a character in a show you’re watching very suddenly dies of the same health issue your anxiety-riddled brain is currently obsessing over.
Please Dont Colin Jost GIF
ALT: Please Dont Colin Jost GIF
media.tenor.com
February 7, 2026 at 10:30 AM
When a character in a show you’re watching very suddenly dies of the same health issue your anxiety-riddled brain is currently obsessing over.
An obstacle course from a ‘90s Nickelodeon game show, but it’s the road construction in this city.
February 7, 2026 at 10:06 AM
An obstacle course from a ‘90s Nickelodeon game show, but it’s the road construction in this city.
“He confirmed that it was not a mistake - and was, in fact, ‘fine.’”
Republicans: But he took it down! The guy could cure cancer, and you’d STILL fucking hate him!
Republicans: But he took it down! The guy could cure cancer, and you’d STILL fucking hate him!
Q: A number of Republicans are calling on you to apologize for that post. Is that something you're going to do?
Trump: No, I didn't make a mistake. It was fine. I guess it was a takeoff from The Lion King. And certainly it was a very strong post
Trump: No, I didn't make a mistake. It was fine. I guess it was a takeoff from The Lion King. And certainly it was a very strong post
February 7, 2026 at 9:55 AM
“He confirmed that it was not a mistake - and was, in fact, ‘fine.’”
Republicans: But he took it down! The guy could cure cancer, and you’d STILL fucking hate him!
Republicans: But he took it down! The guy could cure cancer, and you’d STILL fucking hate him!
Having a brain that refuses to accept the possibility that I’ll ever be okay kinda sucks, actually.
February 7, 2026 at 2:34 AM
Having a brain that refuses to accept the possibility that I’ll ever be okay kinda sucks, actually.
My anxious stomach’s like, “Hey, wanna hear my impression of two cats in a knife fight with Donald Duck?”
February 7, 2026 at 2:30 AM
My anxious stomach’s like, “Hey, wanna hear my impression of two cats in a knife fight with Donald Duck?”
After careful consideration and intense soul-searching,* I have decided to end my months-long caffeine fast.
*ran out of decaf tea and needed something to drink with cookies
*ran out of decaf tea and needed something to drink with cookies
February 7, 2026 at 2:23 AM
After careful consideration and intense soul-searching,* I have decided to end my months-long caffeine fast.
*ran out of decaf tea and needed something to drink with cookies
*ran out of decaf tea and needed something to drink with cookies
If the staffer who supposedly posted the video actually existed, they’d be breathing a sigh of relief.
BREAKING: Trump says he 'didn't make a mistake' with his racist video post.
Q: "A number of Republicans are calling on you to apologize for that post. Is that something you're going to do?"
Trump: "No, I didn't make a mistake."
He adds later: "I guess it was a take off on the Lion King."
Q: "A number of Republicans are calling on you to apologize for that post. Is that something you're going to do?"
Trump: "No, I didn't make a mistake."
He adds later: "I guess it was a take off on the Lion King."
February 7, 2026 at 1:57 AM
If the staffer who supposedly posted the video actually existed, they’d be breathing a sigh of relief.
So when they call themselves the party of personal responsibility, they mean for nonexistent staffers.
February 6, 2026 at 7:51 PM
So when they call themselves the party of personal responsibility, they mean for nonexistent staffers.
Frankly, I don’t know why Republicans are even pretending to give a shit about this. If they were to simply own their racism, do they honestly believe they’d lose a single member of their base?
Anyone who’s paid a modicum of attention over the last decade knows exactly what he and his party are.
Anyone who’s paid a modicum of attention over the last decade knows exactly what he and his party are.
February 6, 2026 at 7:23 PM
Frankly, I don’t know why Republicans are even pretending to give a shit about this. If they were to simply own their racism, do they honestly believe they’d lose a single member of their base?
Anyone who’s paid a modicum of attention over the last decade knows exactly what he and his party are.
Anyone who’s paid a modicum of attention over the last decade knows exactly what he and his party are.
Beneath that vile, racist exterior lies a man who can’t be bothered to take any semblance of responsibility.
POLITICO reporting that the White House has now claimed the ape video was an accident and removed it.
February 6, 2026 at 7:13 PM
Beneath that vile, racist exterior lies a man who can’t be bothered to take any semblance of responsibility.
If you're a fan of my stuff and would like to help me continue creating during a difficult time, kindly consider sharing this post, leaving a tip, or becoming a monthly subscriber.
Support The Card
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ko-fi.com
February 6, 2026 at 5:31 PM
If you're a fan of my stuff and would like to help me continue creating during a difficult time, kindly consider sharing this post, leaving a tip, or becoming a monthly subscriber.
Watching a clip from an early '00s show in which 40 hours is regarded as an excessive length for a video game like
a woman with a ring on her finger is covering her face with her hand in front of a prime logo
ALT: a woman with a ring on her finger is covering her face with her hand in front of a prime logo
media.tenor.com
February 6, 2026 at 5:07 PM
Watching a clip from an early '00s show in which 40 hours is regarded as an excessive length for a video game like
Every time I think society has evolved beyond "pineapple on pizza" jokes.
a cartoon girl in a blue dress is kneeling in a field holding a bag
ALT: a cartoon girl in a blue dress is kneeling in a field holding a bag
media.tenor.com
February 6, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Every time I think society has evolved beyond "pineapple on pizza" jokes.
New comic! Wherein Cord works hard.
February 6, 2026 at 2:33 PM
New comic! Wherein Cord works hard.
Happy Work Naked (While Eating Soup) Day!
February 6, 2026 at 1:09 PM
Happy Work Naked (While Eating Soup) Day!