The Card
@thecard.bsky.social
Creator of depressing comics. Liver of a depressing life. Writer of depressing bios.
No approval left to measure, am I right?
… No, but he *is* still supported by a disturbingly large percentage of the country.
… No, but he *is* still supported by a disturbingly large percentage of the country.
Gallup will no longer measure presidential approval after 88 years thehill.com/homenews/med...
February 11, 2026 at 7:53 PM
No approval left to measure, am I right?
… No, but he *is* still supported by a disturbingly large percentage of the country.
… No, but he *is* still supported by a disturbingly large percentage of the country.
That’s my emotional support joke I haven’t thought of yet.
February 11, 2026 at 6:03 PM
That’s my emotional support joke I haven’t thought of yet.
New comic! Wherein Jenkins takes weaponized incompetence to the next level.
February 11, 2026 at 3:22 PM
New comic! Wherein Jenkins takes weaponized incompetence to the next level.
An UN-cruel twist of fate would certainly be a welcome change of pace.
February 11, 2026 at 3:06 PM
An UN-cruel twist of fate would certainly be a welcome change of pace.
Be particular about your food (unless that food is soup).
February 11, 2026 at 1:53 PM
Be particular about your food (unless that food is soup).
Me: *quits caffeine cold turkey*
Universe:
Universe:
Two to three cups of caffeinated coffee a day may help lower the risk of dementia, new science suggests.
2 to 3 Cups of Coffee a Day May Reduce Dementia Risk. But Not if It’s Decaf.
One to two cups of caffeinated tea per day helps too, researchers found after following nearly 132,000 people for 40 years.
nyti.ms
February 11, 2026 at 1:49 PM
Me: *quits caffeine cold turkey*
Universe:
Universe:
SPOILER: He abstains from doing the coke after realizing that nothing can be more uncool than being Kirk Cameron.
February 11, 2026 at 12:44 PM
SPOILER: He abstains from doing the coke after realizing that nothing can be more uncool than being Kirk Cameron.
Are all the human characters in this film anthropomorphized versions of the white marbles?
February 11, 2026 at 10:23 AM
Are all the human characters in this film anthropomorphized versions of the white marbles?
“Unofficial” because the hippo isn’t blue or pink.
February 11, 2026 at 10:13 AM
“Unofficial” because the hippo isn’t blue or pink.
If I have reservations about posting it at 4:00 in the morning, it’s either a forever resident of my drafts folder or the best joke ever.
February 11, 2026 at 10:06 AM
If I have reservations about posting it at 4:00 in the morning, it’s either a forever resident of my drafts folder or the best joke ever.
So “character limit” refers to letters and numbers, and not actual *character*?
I’ve been holding myself back for two years for nothing, apparently.
I’ve been holding myself back for two years for nothing, apparently.
February 11, 2026 at 3:09 AM
So “character limit” refers to letters and numbers, and not actual *character*?
I’ve been holding myself back for two years for nothing, apparently.
I’ve been holding myself back for two years for nothing, apparently.
“I trust you about as far as I can throw you!”
I mean, you seem like a pretty good thrower, so thank you.
I mean, you seem like a pretty good thrower, so thank you.
February 10, 2026 at 8:40 PM
“I trust you about as far as I can throw you!”
I mean, you seem like a pretty good thrower, so thank you.
I mean, you seem like a pretty good thrower, so thank you.
Did I miss my chance to say, "It's feelin' DRAFTY in here"?
February 10, 2026 at 7:48 PM
Did I miss my chance to say, "It's feelin' DRAFTY in here"?
New comic! Wherein the guys post-game National Poop Day.
February 10, 2026 at 3:08 PM
New comic! Wherein the guys post-game National Poop Day.
Beware of overindulgence (with regard to anything but soup).
February 10, 2026 at 2:30 PM
Beware of overindulgence (with regard to anything but soup).
When the temp’s above freezing for the first time in weeks… and you suddenly a hear a loud clap of thunder.
February 10, 2026 at 1:04 PM
When the temp’s above freezing for the first time in weeks… and you suddenly a hear a loud clap of thunder.
Kid Rock is short for Just Kidding Rock.
February 10, 2026 at 12:57 PM
Kid Rock is short for Just Kidding Rock.
More like “Mid Rock,” am I right?
February 10, 2026 at 12:44 PM
More like “Mid Rock,” am I right?
Existing somewhere between pre-apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic kinda sucks, actually.
February 10, 2026 at 12:02 PM
Existing somewhere between pre-apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic kinda sucks, actually.
“This’ll be the best thing you see today,” and it’s fucking AI slop.
February 10, 2026 at 9:46 AM
“This’ll be the best thing you see today,” and it’s fucking AI slop.
Best I could hope for, honestly.
February 10, 2026 at 8:56 AM
Best I could hope for, honestly.
The huge icicle under my car melting right before I had the pleasure of kicking it.
a cartoon girl in a blue dress is kneeling in a field holding a bag
ALT: a cartoon girl in a blue dress is kneeling in a field holding a bag
media.tenor.com
February 10, 2026 at 3:46 AM
The huge icicle under my car melting right before I had the pleasure of kicking it.
That’s my emotional support inability to handle anything.
February 10, 2026 at 3:07 AM
That’s my emotional support inability to handle anything.
Got me some of that sweet chronic (stress).
February 10, 2026 at 2:51 AM
Got me some of that sweet chronic (stress).
A slasher film in which the villain is a self-help guru entitled “Life Hack.”
February 9, 2026 at 5:21 PM
A slasher film in which the villain is a self-help guru entitled “Life Hack.”