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thecard.bsky.social
The Card
@thecard.bsky.social
Creator of depressing comics. Liver of a depressing life. Writer of depressing bios.
No approval left to measure, am I right?

… No, but he *is* still supported by a disturbingly large percentage of the country.
Gallup will no longer measure presidential approval after 88 years thehill.com/homenews/med...
February 11, 2026 at 7:53 PM
That’s my emotional support joke I haven’t thought of yet.
February 11, 2026 at 6:03 PM
New comic! Wherein Jenkins takes weaponized incompetence to the next level.
February 11, 2026 at 3:22 PM
An UN-cruel twist of fate would certainly be a welcome change of pace.
February 11, 2026 at 3:06 PM
Be particular about your food (unless that food is soup).
February 11, 2026 at 1:53 PM
Me: *quits caffeine cold turkey*

Universe:
February 11, 2026 at 1:49 PM
SPOILER: He abstains from doing the coke after realizing that nothing can be more uncool than being Kirk Cameron.
February 11, 2026 at 12:44 PM
Are all the human characters in this film anthropomorphized versions of the white marbles?
February 11, 2026 at 10:23 AM
“Unofficial” because the hippo isn’t blue or pink.
February 11, 2026 at 10:13 AM
If I have reservations about posting it at 4:00 in the morning, it’s either a forever resident of my drafts folder or the best joke ever.
February 11, 2026 at 10:06 AM
So “character limit” refers to letters and numbers, and not actual *character*?

I’ve been holding myself back for two years for nothing, apparently.
February 11, 2026 at 3:09 AM
“I trust you about as far as I can throw you!”

I mean, you seem like a pretty good thrower, so thank you.
February 10, 2026 at 8:40 PM
Did I miss my chance to say, "It's feelin' DRAFTY in here"?
February 10, 2026 at 7:48 PM
New comic! Wherein the guys post-game National Poop Day.
February 10, 2026 at 3:08 PM
Beware of overindulgence (with regard to anything but soup).
February 10, 2026 at 2:30 PM
When the temp’s above freezing for the first time in weeks… and you suddenly a hear a loud clap of thunder.
February 10, 2026 at 1:04 PM
Kid Rock is short for Just Kidding Rock.
February 10, 2026 at 12:57 PM
More like “Mid Rock,” am I right?
February 10, 2026 at 12:44 PM
Existing somewhere between pre-apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic kinda sucks, actually.
February 10, 2026 at 12:02 PM
“This’ll be the best thing you see today,” and it’s fucking AI slop.
February 10, 2026 at 9:46 AM
Best I could hope for, honestly.
February 10, 2026 at 8:56 AM
The huge icicle under my car melting right before I had the pleasure of kicking it.
a cartoon girl in a blue dress is kneeling in a field holding a bag
ALT: a cartoon girl in a blue dress is kneeling in a field holding a bag
media.tenor.com
February 10, 2026 at 3:46 AM
That’s my emotional support inability to handle anything.
February 10, 2026 at 3:07 AM
Got me some of that sweet chronic (stress).
February 10, 2026 at 2:51 AM
A slasher film in which the villain is a self-help guru entitled “Life Hack.”
February 9, 2026 at 5:21 PM