The Card
@thecard.bsky.social
Creator of a depressing comic strip. Liver of a depressing life. Writer of depressing bios.
Spotify Crapped, for your top bowel movements of the year.
December 7, 2025 at 8:29 AM
Spotify Crapped, for your top bowel movements of the year.
“The evil company that acquired the other evil company isn’t the evil company we like!”
A Trump admin regulator says 'Warner Bros is far more likely to collect its $5.8B breakup fee than getting this Netflix deal through the regulatory process'
(via CGasparino | TW)
(via CGasparino | TW)
December 7, 2025 at 6:03 AM
“The evil company that acquired the other evil company isn’t the evil company we like!”
My “able to enjoy things” era abruptly came to an end nearly three years ago, and I’m kinda drawing a blank on why I’m still here.
December 7, 2025 at 5:55 AM
My “able to enjoy things” era abruptly came to an end nearly three years ago, and I’m kinda drawing a blank on why I’m still here.
Despite listening to this on a continuous loop as a kid, I only recently learned that I got like 90% of the lyrics wrong.
On this day, December 6, 1990, the music video for the pop single “Do the Bartman,” directed by Brad Bird, premiered on Fox. #TheSimpsons
December 7, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Despite listening to this on a continuous loop as a kid, I only recently learned that I got like 90% of the lyrics wrong.
Just slept for 12 hours after barely sleeping all week, and I’m not sure I can handle a life as depressing as mine with this level of lucidity.
December 7, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Just slept for 12 hours after barely sleeping all week, and I’m not sure I can handle a life as depressing as mine with this level of lucidity.
Jingle ALL the way? In this economy?
December 6, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Jingle ALL the way? In this economy?
Reposted by The Card
Every planet has a country called Canada where people’s girlfriends are
December 5, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Every planet has a country called Canada where people’s girlfriends are
BREAKING: Netflix logo to replace thimble in all future editions of Monopoly.
December 6, 2025 at 5:37 AM
BREAKING: Netflix logo to replace thimble in all future editions of Monopoly.
“The weather outside is frightful” is now a lyric that can be applied to *any* time of year.
Still think rapidly accelerated climate change is a BAD thing?
Still think rapidly accelerated climate change is a BAD thing?
December 6, 2025 at 12:19 AM
“The weather outside is frightful” is now a lyric that can be applied to *any* time of year.
Still think rapidly accelerated climate change is a BAD thing?
Still think rapidly accelerated climate change is a BAD thing?
BREAKING: Everything puts in bid to acquire everything else.
December 6, 2025 at 12:13 AM
BREAKING: Everything puts in bid to acquire everything else.
I like a good revenge story.
Except the one where the universe gets revenge on me for existing.
Except the one where the universe gets revenge on me for existing.
December 6, 2025 at 12:04 AM
I like a good revenge story.
Except the one where the universe gets revenge on me for existing.
Except the one where the universe gets revenge on me for existing.
Guy named Paul discovers the true meaning of the holidays.
Jingle Paul the Way.
Pay me.
Jingle Paul the Way.
Pay me.
December 6, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Guy named Paul discovers the true meaning of the holidays.
Jingle Paul the Way.
Pay me.
Jingle Paul the Way.
Pay me.
Liking your own posts is soft gerrymandering.
December 5, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Liking your own posts is soft gerrymandering.
My ability to fall asleep vs. my ability to stay asleep.
December 5, 2025 at 9:45 PM
My ability to fall asleep vs. my ability to stay asleep.
Whoops! Woke up with zero desire to exist in this reality again.
December 5, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Whoops! Woke up with zero desire to exist in this reality again.
I’m fully against mergers of this magnitude, but it’s hard for me to mourn the purported death of the theatrical experience when I stopped going to theaters in 2020 and see no reason to go back, as 99% of the population continues to ignore an ongoing pandemic (and various other airborne illnesses).
December 5, 2025 at 8:01 PM
I’m fully against mergers of this magnitude, but it’s hard for me to mourn the purported death of the theatrical experience when I stopped going to theaters in 2020 and see no reason to go back, as 99% of the population continues to ignore an ongoing pandemic (and various other airborne illnesses).
If you enjoy my comics and would like to help me continue creating during a difficult time, kindly consider sharing this post, leaving a tip, or becoming a monthly subscriber.
Thanks so much.
Thanks so much.
Support The Card
Support The Card
ko-fi.com
December 5, 2025 at 3:29 PM
If you enjoy my comics and would like to help me continue creating during a difficult time, kindly consider sharing this post, leaving a tip, or becoming a monthly subscriber.
Thanks so much.
Thanks so much.
New comic! Wherein Cord breaks out the festive attire.
(Re-posted due to typo.)
(Re-posted due to typo.)
December 5, 2025 at 2:10 PM
New comic! Wherein Cord breaks out the festive attire.
(Re-posted due to typo.)
(Re-posted due to typo.)
Make a grand entrance (and a grand soup).
December 5, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Make a grand entrance (and a grand soup).
