Jek Porkins
@wifflebat.bsky.social
Just a Red 6 hoping he can hold it together.
Watching A Christmas Story while almost passed out drunk in a wearable blanket from the TikTok shop. I’ve achieved peak elder millennial.
December 26, 2025 at 6:45 AM
Watching A Christmas Story while almost passed out drunk in a wearable blanket from the TikTok shop. I’ve achieved peak elder millennial.
Came to the conclusion tonight that watching the original Grinch is functionally a radio play to me. The visuals are burned on my soul so hard that watching with my eyes open is superfluousz
December 26, 2025 at 6:05 AM
Came to the conclusion tonight that watching the original Grinch is functionally a radio play to me. The visuals are burned on my soul so hard that watching with my eyes open is superfluousz
Reposted by Jek Porkins
Hello fellow humans looking at their phone to avoid looking at their family members
December 25, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Hello fellow humans looking at their phone to avoid looking at their family members
Reposted by Jek Porkins
One time I was at a bar in Prague and Johnny Cash was sitting next to a couple of huge guys who fell off their stools. He tried to help them but couldn’t, so I reached down with one arm and pulled them both up. Johnny asked “the hell are you doing?” and I said “righting Czechs your ass can’t, Cash”
September 20, 2025 at 2:50 AM
One time I was at a bar in Prague and Johnny Cash was sitting next to a couple of huge guys who fell off their stools. He tried to help them but couldn’t, so I reached down with one arm and pulled them both up. Johnny asked “the hell are you doing?” and I said “righting Czechs your ass can’t, Cash”
Reposted by Jek Porkins
thinking about werner herzog saying "labubu" in a sentence
September 23, 2025 at 10:06 PM
thinking about werner herzog saying "labubu" in a sentence
Doing my work from a cube is so much more rewarding than doing so from the comfort of my own home. I also enjoy stepping in cold dog crap, cleaning up vomit, and spending my free time at the DMV.
June 30, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Doing my work from a cube is so much more rewarding than doing so from the comfort of my own home. I also enjoy stepping in cold dog crap, cleaning up vomit, and spending my free time at the DMV.
“He’s too old, too brash to train. Now go down this evil Sith pit that’s so powerful I used it to hide from Palpatine for 20 years bitch, honk honk”
March 28, 2025 at 5:21 AM
“He’s too old, too brash to train. Now go down this evil Sith pit that’s so powerful I used it to hide from Palpatine for 20 years bitch, honk honk”
“For 800 years trained Jedi I have” bitch you ain’t learned a damn thing about it either. Egotistical little muppet.
March 28, 2025 at 5:14 AM
“For 800 years trained Jedi I have” bitch you ain’t learned a damn thing about it either. Egotistical little muppet.
If an ion cannon can drop a Star destroyer from orbit, why don’t the rebels build 50 of them?
March 28, 2025 at 4:44 AM
If an ion cannon can drop a Star destroyer from orbit, why don’t the rebels build 50 of them?
God the Rebels would have so much more cash if they stopped trying to build bases. Like they barely got Hoth ready and bam, here comes Vader and his butt-bois. Stay mobile Leia, stick and move, stick and move.
March 28, 2025 at 4:40 AM
God the Rebels would have so much more cash if they stopped trying to build bases. Like they barely got Hoth ready and bam, here comes Vader and his butt-bois. Stay mobile Leia, stick and move, stick and move.
Snowspeeders are so aesthetically fascinating and yet they never use them past Empire. Frustrating. Should have brought them back for the Krait scene in TLJ.
March 28, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Snowspeeders are so aesthetically fascinating and yet they never use them past Empire. Frustrating. Should have brought them back for the Krait scene in TLJ.
Reposted by Jek Porkins
When I grow up I want to be an ugly cat named Minister Muffles and I will only eat wet food
February 11, 2025 at 1:54 AM
When I grow up I want to be an ugly cat named Minister Muffles and I will only eat wet food
Reposted by Jek Porkins
Normalize making dinosaur noises to express yourself
February 4, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Normalize making dinosaur noises to express yourself
Happy New Year random feed of wannabe New Yorker caption writers!
January 1, 2025 at 8:07 AM
Happy New Year random feed of wannabe New Yorker caption writers!
Reposted by Jek Porkins
an indecisive tile installer is full of self-grout okey dokey im back on my bullshit. you’re welcome😘
December 5, 2024 at 3:21 PM
an indecisive tile installer is full of self-grout okey dokey im back on my bullshit. you’re welcome😘
Reposted by Jek Porkins
It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while so you can get excited about going home.
December 1, 2024 at 6:06 PM
It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while so you can get excited about going home.
Reposted by Jek Porkins
KILLING ME LOUDLY WITH HIS GONG.
December 1, 2024 at 4:39 PM
KILLING ME LOUDLY WITH HIS GONG.
Reposted by Jek Porkins
I caught a fish in Reno just to watch it fry.
December 1, 2024 at 4:13 PM
I caught a fish in Reno just to watch it fry.
Reposted by Jek Porkins
My secret identity has been revealed. I'll have to deal with the repercussions tomorrow. Or maybe the next day.
November 25, 2024 at 6:09 AM
My secret identity has been revealed. I'll have to deal with the repercussions tomorrow. Or maybe the next day.
Reposted by Jek Porkins
Why is it called scissoring and not a beef curtain sandwich?
*Arby’s, we have the meats
*Arby’s, we have the meats
November 25, 2024 at 5:51 AM
Why is it called scissoring and not a beef curtain sandwich?
*Arby’s, we have the meats
*Arby’s, we have the meats
Reposted by Jek Porkins
STOP PUTTING DIARRHOEA MEDICINE ON THE BOTTOM SHELF
November 18, 2024 at 8:33 AM
STOP PUTTING DIARRHOEA MEDICINE ON THE BOTTOM SHELF
Reposted by Jek Porkins
Hydrogenated male servant substitute? I can’t believe it’s not butler.
November 16, 2024 at 2:49 PM
Hydrogenated male servant substitute? I can’t believe it’s not butler.
Reposted by Jek Porkins
No, you just dropped YOUR electric toothbrush while it was on and sprayed toothpaste all over YOUR man boobs.
October 18, 2024 at 5:26 AM
No, you just dropped YOUR electric toothbrush while it was on and sprayed toothpaste all over YOUR man boobs.
Reposted by Jek Porkins
I just bought food at the grocery store to cook so what should I order for dinner instead
October 23, 2024 at 9:33 PM
I just bought food at the grocery store to cook so what should I order for dinner instead
Reposted by Jek Porkins
The Undertaker made an ad for Trump, Hulk Hogan is a racist, and the Ultimate Warrior was a homophobe. If the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are holocaust deniers, my childhood is toast.
October 22, 2024 at 12:45 PM
The Undertaker made an ad for Trump, Hulk Hogan is a racist, and the Ultimate Warrior was a homophobe. If the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are holocaust deniers, my childhood is toast.