Mathias
@starkrexcline.bsky.social
30. He/him. Lifelong learner, Thunder fan, lover of storytelling in all forms; broken.
Reposted by Mathias
I don’t mean to sound extreme, but I don’t think we should have torture camps for people with criminal records either.
December 23, 2025 at 1:51 AM
I don’t mean to sound extreme, but I don’t think we should have torture camps for people with criminal records either.
Reposted by Mathias
the best two minutes you'll spend all day 🐾
December 20, 2025 at 10:42 PM
the best two minutes you'll spend all day 🐾
Reposted by Mathias
Reposted by Mathias
Woman: The baby is mine
Woman #2: No it's mine
King Solomon: Both of you say this baby is yours. Hang on a sec
*types*
ChatGPT: Cutting the baby in half is your best move
Solomon: Someone get me a sword
ChatGPT: Also pre-heat the oven so it's nice and hot when you cook the juicier half of the baby
Woman #2: No it's mine
King Solomon: Both of you say this baby is yours. Hang on a sec
*types*
ChatGPT: Cutting the baby in half is your best move
Solomon: Someone get me a sword
ChatGPT: Also pre-heat the oven so it's nice and hot when you cook the juicier half of the baby
Jimmy Fallon: "And do you use ChatGPT when raising your baby?"
Sam Altman: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."
Sam Altman: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."
December 9, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Woman: The baby is mine
Woman #2: No it's mine
King Solomon: Both of you say this baby is yours. Hang on a sec
*types*
ChatGPT: Cutting the baby in half is your best move
Solomon: Someone get me a sword
ChatGPT: Also pre-heat the oven so it's nice and hot when you cook the juicier half of the baby
Woman #2: No it's mine
King Solomon: Both of you say this baby is yours. Hang on a sec
*types*
ChatGPT: Cutting the baby in half is your best move
Solomon: Someone get me a sword
ChatGPT: Also pre-heat the oven so it's nice and hot when you cook the juicier half of the baby
Reposted by Mathias
ME: I’m not really into horror scenes or melodramatic roles, I can’t cry on command and I definitely won’t do nudity
KFC RECRUITER: ok
KFC RECRUITER: ok
December 8, 2025 at 8:24 PM
ME: I’m not really into horror scenes or melodramatic roles, I can’t cry on command and I definitely won’t do nudity
KFC RECRUITER: ok
KFC RECRUITER: ok
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**Looking in the mirror
-Blink twice if you need help
-Blink twice if you need help
November 23, 2025 at 12:24 AM
**Looking in the mirror
-Blink twice if you need help
-Blink twice if you need help
Reposted by Mathias
Miller as soon as Zohran leaves the WH
November 21, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Miller as soon as Zohran leaves the WH
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mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one
NEW: When Andrew Tate landed in the US, Customs & Border Protection seized his electronic devices. But @propublica.org found that a White House official told DHS to return the devices, emphasizing that the request came from the White House.
By @robert-faturechi.bsky.social & Avi Asher-Schapiro
By @robert-faturechi.bsky.social & Avi Asher-Schapiro
The White House Intervened on Behalf of Accused Sex Trafficker Andrew Tate During a Federal Investigation
Federal authorities were chided for seizing electronic devices from Tate and his brother, and told to return them, records and interviews show. Experts said the intervention was highly inappropriate.
www.propublica.org
November 18, 2025 at 1:10 PM
mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one
Reposted by Mathias
me: *waxes poetic*
poetic: just leave a landing strip
poetic: just leave a landing strip
November 7, 2025 at 5:04 PM
me: *waxes poetic*
poetic: just leave a landing strip
poetic: just leave a landing strip
Reposted by Mathias
COKE: is pepsi okay
DR PEPPER: *removes surgical mask* we did everything we could
DR PEPPER: *removes surgical mask* we did everything we could
November 7, 2025 at 2:41 PM
COKE: is pepsi okay
DR PEPPER: *removes surgical mask* we did everything we could
DR PEPPER: *removes surgical mask* we did everything we could
Reposted by Mathias
what about bringing it around town
November 5, 2025 at 1:40 PM
what about bringing it around town
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turning on the CNN coverage of the NY election with a wide, placid smile on my face
November 5, 2025 at 1:24 AM
turning on the CNN coverage of the NY election with a wide, placid smile on my face
Reposted by Mathias
on my first day of high school a senior lobbed a huge ball of foil at my lunch table and it hit this kid Alex's cup of marinara sauce that came with his mozzarella sticks, splattering him and creating a perfect silhouette of his body against the nearest wall. i bet the sauce outline is still there
November 4, 2025 at 4:49 PM
on my first day of high school a senior lobbed a huge ball of foil at my lunch table and it hit this kid Alex's cup of marinara sauce that came with his mozzarella sticks, splattering him and creating a perfect silhouette of his body against the nearest wall. i bet the sauce outline is still there
Reposted by Mathias
*deep sigh*
Stephen A. Smith’s pivot to political punditry is going as well as you’d expect
October 20, 2025 at 10:12 PM
*deep sigh*
Reposted by Mathias
Reposted by Mathias
One cool thing about getting older is seeing everyone you went to high school with go insane
October 9, 2025 at 5:30 PM
One cool thing about getting older is seeing everyone you went to high school with go insane
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*unzipping your skin suit and peering in* got any room for me in there?
October 9, 2025 at 12:43 AM
*unzipping your skin suit and peering in* got any room for me in there?
Reposted by Mathias
Reposted by Mathias
DON DRAPER: I grew up in a haunted house. I would put out bowls of spaghetti and tell visitors it was guts. Grapes, eyeballs. One of the older boys, who would lunge at people in a wolfman mask, looked after me. The only time I wasn’t scared was when I was eating Reese’s Pieces.
September 29, 2025 at 6:42 PM
DON DRAPER: I grew up in a haunted house. I would put out bowls of spaghetti and tell visitors it was guts. Grapes, eyeballs. One of the older boys, who would lunge at people in a wolfman mask, looked after me. The only time I wasn’t scared was when I was eating Reese’s Pieces.
One Battle After Another absolutely RIPS, what a movie
September 28, 2025 at 12:05 AM
One Battle After Another absolutely RIPS, what a movie
“How are you?”
“I just saw The Long Walk”
“I just saw The Long Walk”
September 27, 2025 at 12:18 AM
“How are you?”
“I just saw The Long Walk”
“I just saw The Long Walk”
I miss my dog so much I might pass away
September 24, 2025 at 10:14 PM
I miss my dog so much I might pass away
Reposted by Mathias
