Sam
@samjewell.bsky.social
Reposted by Sam
Reposted by Sam
Add to the list of capital crimes: Airbnb listings with photos of nearby tourist attractions. I know what fucking city it's in dipshit. That tram is not in your living room
December 18, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Add to the list of capital crimes: Airbnb listings with photos of nearby tourist attractions. I know what fucking city it's in dipshit. That tram is not in your living room
Reposted by Sam
My microwave sings a little song when my Hot Pocket is done. Should it have the right to vote?
November 25, 2025 at 8:44 PM
My microwave sings a little song when my Hot Pocket is done. Should it have the right to vote?
Reposted by Sam
Within the next decade a billionaire will die in a space accident, and it will be the greatest day on the internet in history. I have memes prepared.
November 3, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Within the next decade a billionaire will die in a space accident, and it will be the greatest day on the internet in history. I have memes prepared.
Reposted by Sam
Reposted by Sam
September 1, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Reposted by Sam
Real Madrid will play Kairat of Almaty, Kazakhstan away in the Champions League.
Madrid is closer to both New York City, USA and Bridgetown, Barbados than it is to Almaty.
#ChampionsLeague
Madrid is closer to both New York City, USA and Bridgetown, Barbados than it is to Almaty.
#ChampionsLeague
August 28, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Real Madrid will play Kairat of Almaty, Kazakhstan away in the Champions League.
Madrid is closer to both New York City, USA and Bridgetown, Barbados than it is to Almaty.
#ChampionsLeague
Madrid is closer to both New York City, USA and Bridgetown, Barbados than it is to Almaty.
#ChampionsLeague
Reposted by Sam
Forgot to share this absolutely incredible piece I found on Vinted last night.
August 23, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Forgot to share this absolutely incredible piece I found on Vinted last night.
Reposted by Sam
Please don't plug keyboards or other devices into random USB ports, ok?
July 29, 2025 at 10:47 AM
Please don't plug keyboards or other devices into random USB ports, ok?
Reposted by Sam
As well as being a cunt, you're shit-scared of using pronouns, too. Wanker.
June 29, 2025 at 6:50 PM
As well as being a cunt, you're shit-scared of using pronouns, too. Wanker.
Reposted by Sam
Perfect day for sticking a couple of Weetabix on the barbie, this.
June 29, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Perfect day for sticking a couple of Weetabix on the barbie, this.
Reposted by Sam
“I don’t want to go out.
I don’t want to stay in”
Modern Love is a song about cats and/or the socially anxious
I don’t want to stay in”
Modern Love is a song about cats and/or the socially anxious
June 29, 2025 at 5:31 PM
“I don’t want to go out.
I don’t want to stay in”
Modern Love is a song about cats and/or the socially anxious
I don’t want to stay in”
Modern Love is a song about cats and/or the socially anxious
Reposted by Sam
I was on one of those flights where it was over booked and I was asked to leave. Looked at my wife, 3 young kids and did not hesitate, straight off. 24 hours in a hotel all paid for, on my own. Bliss.
June 22, 2025 at 3:25 PM
I was on one of those flights where it was over booked and I was asked to leave. Looked at my wife, 3 young kids and did not hesitate, straight off. 24 hours in a hotel all paid for, on my own. Bliss.
Reposted by Sam
Reposted by Sam
Don't know who's doing this bloke's PR, but the papers seem increasingly keen for him to win a Pride of Britain award
May 29, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Don't know who's doing this bloke's PR, but the papers seem increasingly keen for him to win a Pride of Britain award
Reposted by Sam
What a shame for Youri Tielemans to get injured now. He was close to completing what was basically an iron man campaign: 35/35 PL starts, 12/12 CL starts, 5/5 FA Cup starts to this point.
4,500 minutes this season. Incredible achievement all things considered.
4,500 minutes this season. Incredible achievement all things considered.
May 8, 2025 at 4:18 PM
What a shame for Youri Tielemans to get injured now. He was close to completing what was basically an iron man campaign: 35/35 PL starts, 12/12 CL starts, 5/5 FA Cup starts to this point.
4,500 minutes this season. Incredible achievement all things considered.
4,500 minutes this season. Incredible achievement all things considered.
Reposted by Sam
Disgraceful that the even still employ him given what he has done.
April 23, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Disgraceful that the even still employ him given what he has done.
Reposted by Sam
This is why the Internet exists.
My forbidden F1 fantasy came true for a minute on Sunday.
![A split-panel meme, the left showing a partial screenshot of F1 driver positions in the middle of the 2025 Jeddah Grand Prix, with driver’s truncated names reading “BEA[rman] / VER[stappen] / HAD[jar] / HAM[ilton]”. On the right is an AI or photoshopped image of a beaver eating a hunk of ham.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:x45h7gf7limlgjlsprrl2uwy/bafkreibht47plt6jkpsbxephodq4xgjlrcxkligayfuolfucuallol7ume@jpeg)
April 21, 2025 at 8:34 PM
This is why the Internet exists.
Reposted by Sam
Propelling racists to stardom by giving them as much airtime as they want ("we'll be able to test their arguments and put them under scrutiny") has worked out tremendously, I must say.
February 14, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Propelling racists to stardom by giving them as much airtime as they want ("we'll be able to test their arguments and put them under scrutiny") has worked out tremendously, I must say.
Reposted by Sam
But if you are a caucasian individual whose immediate reaction when called white is to declare reverse racism, I'd encourage you to read a fucking book before jumping into the nearest bin.
Open the damn schools.
Open the damn schools.
February 5, 2025 at 2:18 AM
But if you are a caucasian individual whose immediate reaction when called white is to declare reverse racism, I'd encourage you to read a fucking book before jumping into the nearest bin.
Open the damn schools.
Open the damn schools.
Reposted by Sam
One of the truisms of DJing - if there’s less than half an hour to go and you're playing The Rat by The Walkmen, chances are the dance floor is empty except for 2/3 people belting out every word with all of their soul.
February 1, 2025 at 3:37 AM
One of the truisms of DJing - if there’s less than half an hour to go and you're playing The Rat by The Walkmen, chances are the dance floor is empty except for 2/3 people belting out every word with all of their soul.
Reposted by Sam
One of the wildest LinkedIn posts I’ve seen in ages.
Dude nearly loses daughter in car crash (allegedly) so uses it to pitch for business 😳😳😳
Dude nearly loses daughter in car crash (allegedly) so uses it to pitch for business 😳😳😳
January 27, 2025 at 7:12 PM
One of the wildest LinkedIn posts I’ve seen in ages.
Dude nearly loses daughter in car crash (allegedly) so uses it to pitch for business 😳😳😳
Dude nearly loses daughter in car crash (allegedly) so uses it to pitch for business 😳😳😳
Reposted by Sam
Just seen cocktails described as “cocky-tees” and how I wish for the cloak of death to envelope me.
January 25, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Just seen cocktails described as “cocky-tees” and how I wish for the cloak of death to envelope me.