Geoff Lemon 🍋
@geofflemon.bsky.social
Writer. Australian. Probably somewhere else.
Essays at patreon.com/geofflemon
Sport at @finalwordcricket.bsky.social
Essays at patreon.com/geofflemon
Sport at @finalwordcricket.bsky.social
Alas, even Mamdani is not immune from the great American disease: cutesy titles for legislative bills with initials that spell out a word
January 2, 2026 at 4:01 AM
Alas, even Mamdani is not immune from the great American disease: cutesy titles for legislative bills with initials that spell out a word
A mentor of mine died just before Christmas. Far more than that, too, was Chris Wallace-Crabbe. I've been thinking about it all, in the way that the end of a year brings on.
Happy 2026.
www.patreon.com/posts/end-of...
Happy 2026.
www.patreon.com/posts/end-of...
The end of the poem | Geoff Lemon
Get more from Geoff Lemon on Patreon
www.patreon.com
December 31, 2025 at 12:29 PM
A mentor of mine died just before Christmas. Far more than that, too, was Chris Wallace-Crabbe. I've been thinking about it all, in the way that the end of a year brings on.
Happy 2026.
www.patreon.com/posts/end-of...
Happy 2026.
www.patreon.com/posts/end-of...
Reposted by Geoff Lemon 🍋
me: you boy what day is it today?
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
December 25, 2024 at 7:57 AM
me: you boy what day is it today?
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
More like Santa’s Sweatshop
December 25, 2025 at 1:26 AM
More like Santa’s Sweatshop
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals
December 24, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals
Add to the list of capital crimes: Airbnb listings with photos of nearby tourist attractions. I know what fucking city it's in dipshit. That tram is not in your living room
December 18, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Add to the list of capital crimes: Airbnb listings with photos of nearby tourist attractions. I know what fucking city it's in dipshit. That tram is not in your living room
Guten Morgan Freeman
December 17, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Guten Morgan Freeman
Bagels are good for when you want to spread stuff on bread but you also want a little challenge
December 7, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Bagels are good for when you want to spread stuff on bread but you also want a little challenge
Damn, this list must have taken some compiling
November 16, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Damn, this list must have taken some compiling
Sunny afternoon in Lisbon, cabby with the window down blaring The Neverending Story
November 9, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Sunny afternoon in Lisbon, cabby with the window down blaring The Neverending Story
Four Seasons day remains my favourite day to have been a person on the internet
This is my all time favorite video ever. I'm not usually a fan of the whole laughing in the middle of your post but that's exactly what made this clip so good. You can't not lose your shit watching it
November 7, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Four Seasons day remains my favourite day to have been a person on the internet
Sandwich Guy goes free - writing about his case a while back was one of the few enjoyable moments of the dystopia cycle
www.patreon.com/posts/137813...
www.patreon.com/posts/137813...
Sandwich Guy, and small acts of resistance | Geoff Lemon
Get more from Geoff Lemon on Patreon
www.patreon.com
November 7, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Sandwich Guy goes free - writing about his case a while back was one of the few enjoyable moments of the dystopia cycle
www.patreon.com/posts/137813...
www.patreon.com/posts/137813...
Get yourself an aloof wife to quietly steer your campaign
November 5, 2025 at 11:52 AM
Get yourself an aloof wife to quietly steer your campaign
I look forward to those million people making good on their promise to flee New York City
November 5, 2025 at 5:35 AM
I look forward to those million people making good on their promise to flee New York City
These are the most pathetic losers in existence
Border Patrol agent Lairmore testifies that he was not injured by the sandwich, but he felt the impact through his ballistic vest.
The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says.
"I could smell the onions and mustard."
The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says.
"I could smell the onions and mustard."
November 4, 2025 at 5:10 PM
These are the most pathetic losers in existence
Why would Eric Adams agree to a Ziwe interview?? Oh, she is going to eat that man alive
November 4, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Why would Eric Adams agree to a Ziwe interview?? Oh, she is going to eat that man alive
And like, it shouldn’t be *Teen Vogue’s* job to be the organ of record for rising fascism! It’s cool that they did it but them doing it solo is like leaving the defence of Portland to that one frog
Major media has been hostilely occupied en masse, leaving only scraps
Major media has been hostilely occupied en masse, leaving only scraps
Legit, for the past couple of years Teen Vogue has been one of the very few remaining major titles to publish political commentary that clearly addressed the American cultural descent into madness. Invaluable for young readers, filing a gulf. No wonder it’s being squashed
November 4, 2025 at 10:21 AM
And like, it shouldn’t be *Teen Vogue’s* job to be the organ of record for rising fascism! It’s cool that they did it but them doing it solo is like leaving the defence of Portland to that one frog
Major media has been hostilely occupied en masse, leaving only scraps
Major media has been hostilely occupied en masse, leaving only scraps
Legit, for the past couple of years Teen Vogue has been one of the very few remaining major titles to publish political commentary that clearly addressed the American cultural descent into madness. Invaluable for young readers, filing a gulf. No wonder it’s being squashed
November 4, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Legit, for the past couple of years Teen Vogue has been one of the very few remaining major titles to publish political commentary that clearly addressed the American cultural descent into madness. Invaluable for young readers, filing a gulf. No wonder it’s being squashed
In my experience, Louvre windows were always fucken easy to break in
October 24, 2025 at 12:02 PM
In my experience, Louvre windows were always fucken easy to break in
The thing is, we forgot we were men. We thought we were gods. And that was our downfall
October 24, 2025 at 2:03 AM
The thing is, we forgot we were men. We thought we were gods. And that was our downfall
If I were reading Nixonland in a bar I’d be pretty annoyed if someone interrupted
October 23, 2025 at 12:45 AM
If I were reading Nixonland in a bar I’d be pretty annoyed if someone interrupted
Just quietly, I’m tipping that if a tattoo parlour in Croatia casually had a totenkopf on the wall for you to choose, they probably had some other shit on the wall too that would be a giveaway
October 22, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Just quietly, I’m tipping that if a tattoo parlour in Croatia casually had a totenkopf on the wall for you to choose, they probably had some other shit on the wall too that would be a giveaway
I remember in Independence Day when the White House blew up, the whole cinema cheered, but now that it’s being done by a senile criminal with a bulldozer it doesn’t seem so cathartic
October 22, 2025 at 10:15 AM
I remember in Independence Day when the White House blew up, the whole cinema cheered, but now that it’s being done by a senile criminal with a bulldozer it doesn’t seem so cathartic
Even if you set aside the racial supremacism driving this, it’s insane in economic terms. Most people who claim unemployment benefits use that support on their way to becoming business owners or salaried taxpayers who collectively contribute far more than the initial cost. Investment, not expense.
Here Lam explicitly sets out her proposal - which is official Conservative Party policy - to deport long-standing legal permanent residents who have *ever* claimed any benefit, including the state pension or child benefit (even if the child is British), or who earn less than £39K.
October 22, 2025 at 9:23 AM
Even if you set aside the racial supremacism driving this, it’s insane in economic terms. Most people who claim unemployment benefits use that support on their way to becoming business owners or salaried taxpayers who collectively contribute far more than the initial cost. Investment, not expense.
Looking forward to successive administrations bulldozing then rebuilding the White House ballroom in perpetuity
October 21, 2025 at 6:57 AM
Looking forward to successive administrations bulldozing then rebuilding the White House ballroom in perpetuity