Geoff Lemon 🍋
@geofflemon.bsky.social
Writer. Australian. Probably somewhere else.
Essays at patreon.com/geofflemon
Sport at @finalwordcricket.bsky.social
Essays at patreon.com/geofflemon
Sport at @finalwordcricket.bsky.social
Truly insane to have government ministers shilling a private industry product that doesn’t work and that they don’t understand
BREAKING: Free AI training will be offered to every adult in the UK, with short courses to teach people how to use simple AI tools effectively in the workplace.
Technology Secretary Liz Kendall tells #BBCBreakfast about the scheme
Technology Secretary Liz Kendall tells #BBCBreakfast about the scheme
January 28, 2026 at 4:07 PM
Truly insane to have government ministers shilling a private industry product that doesn’t work and that they don’t understand
Men will hunt parole violators across the years before throwing themselves in the Seine because they’re damned if they’ll live in the debt of a thief instead of going to therapy
January 22, 2026 at 1:21 AM
Men will hunt parole violators across the years before throwing themselves in the Seine because they’re damned if they’ll live in the debt of a thief instead of going to therapy
"Without us, you'd all be speaking German,” remarks man visiting Switzerland, where people speak German
January 21, 2026 at 3:12 PM
"Without us, you'd all be speaking German,” remarks man visiting Switzerland, where people speak German
Oh no! Of all places, queer people are blurring conventional gender constructs in the theatre now?
So apparently Dylan Mulvaney got cast in a Broadway musical... which resulted in transphobes losing their minds and threatening to "Bud Light" the show... and now the show's Twitter page is locked down. Cool cool.
January 20, 2026 at 9:45 AM
Oh no! Of all places, queer people are blurring conventional gender constructs in the theatre now?
This could get spicy at the Winter Olympics in a minute
January 19, 2026 at 4:03 AM
This could get spicy at the Winter Olympics in a minute
Like, who is not stealing these cold sweet plums from an icebox? Find me that claimant and I’ll find you a liar
January 17, 2026 at 3:47 AM
Like, who is not stealing these cold sweet plums from an icebox? Find me that claimant and I’ll find you a liar
Reposted by Geoff Lemon 🍋
SHALL WE ALLOW THIS GREAT UNION AND THE RIGHTS ENSHRINED THEREIN TO BE HELD HOSTAGE BY THE SLAVEDRIVER, WHO VAINLY BEGS THE ASSENT OF THOSE TERRITORIES WE CALL "FREE" TO RETURN TO HIM HIS "PROPERTY", WHICH IS RIGHTLY A MAN? SHALL WE SACRIFICE OUR RIGHTS AS BURNT OFFERINGS UPON THE ALTAR OF TYRANNY?
DO WE TIMIDLY ACCEPT THAT THE TRAITOROUS COWARDS IN THE SOUTH DEFY THE BONDS OF BROTHERLY UNION JUST SO THEY CAN WRING RICHES OUT OF THE MEN THEY UNJUSTLY REDUCED TO BONDAGE? NO, WE BRING FORTH THE LIGHT OF LIBERTY, THE PURIFYING FLAME THAT WILL MAKE ALL MEN FREE
April 18, 2025 at 12:45 AM
SHALL WE ALLOW THIS GREAT UNION AND THE RIGHTS ENSHRINED THEREIN TO BE HELD HOSTAGE BY THE SLAVEDRIVER, WHO VAINLY BEGS THE ASSENT OF THOSE TERRITORIES WE CALL "FREE" TO RETURN TO HIM HIS "PROPERTY", WHICH IS RIGHTLY A MAN? SHALL WE SACRIFICE OUR RIGHTS AS BURNT OFFERINGS UPON THE ALTAR OF TYRANNY?
Reposted by Geoff Lemon 🍋
MY DEAREST ADELAIDE, I WRITE TO YOU WITH A FIRE IN MY HEART. BUT NOT ONE BURNING WITH PASSION FOR YOUR FLESH, THOUGH YOUR BEAUTY SURPASSES WORDS. NAY, I BURN WITH A RIGHTEOUS FURY TO RID THIS GODLY NATION OF THE REBEL MENACE AND BRING EMANCIPATION TO THAT SLUMBERING RACE OF MEN TRAPPED IN BONDAGE.
April 18, 2025 at 12:16 AM
MY DEAREST ADELAIDE, I WRITE TO YOU WITH A FIRE IN MY HEART. BUT NOT ONE BURNING WITH PASSION FOR YOUR FLESH, THOUGH YOUR BEAUTY SURPASSES WORDS. NAY, I BURN WITH A RIGHTEOUS FURY TO RID THIS GODLY NATION OF THE REBEL MENACE AND BRING EMANCIPATION TO THAT SLUMBERING RACE OF MEN TRAPPED IN BONDAGE.
Have to say, even after all the brouhaha, if there are chilled plums in the icebox I am gonna steal them immediately, they are delicious
January 14, 2026 at 6:45 AM
Have to say, even after all the brouhaha, if there are chilled plums in the icebox I am gonna steal them immediately, they are delicious
It’s true, writers tend to be politically progressive because writing involves thinking about things, and that’s where thinking takes you
Where "arts leader" = on a few boards.
Really scraping the bottom of the barrel here
January 12, 2026 at 8:10 AM
It’s true, writers tend to be politically progressive because writing involves thinking about things, and that’s where thinking takes you
Alas, even Mamdani is not immune from the great American disease: cutesy titles for legislative bills with initials that spell out a word
January 2, 2026 at 4:01 AM
Alas, even Mamdani is not immune from the great American disease: cutesy titles for legislative bills with initials that spell out a word
A mentor of mine died just before Christmas. Far more than that, too, was Chris Wallace-Crabbe. I've been thinking about it all, in the way that the end of a year brings on.
Happy 2026.
www.patreon.com/posts/end-of...
Happy 2026.
www.patreon.com/posts/end-of...
The end of the poem | Geoff Lemon
Get more from Geoff Lemon on Patreon
www.patreon.com
December 31, 2025 at 12:29 PM
A mentor of mine died just before Christmas. Far more than that, too, was Chris Wallace-Crabbe. I've been thinking about it all, in the way that the end of a year brings on.
Happy 2026.
www.patreon.com/posts/end-of...
Happy 2026.
www.patreon.com/posts/end-of...
Reposted by Geoff Lemon 🍋
me: you boy what day is it today?
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
December 25, 2024 at 7:57 AM
me: you boy what day is it today?
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
More like Santa’s Sweatshop
December 25, 2025 at 1:26 AM
More like Santa’s Sweatshop
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals
December 24, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals
Add to the list of capital crimes: Airbnb listings with photos of nearby tourist attractions. I know what fucking city it's in dipshit. That tram is not in your living room
December 18, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Add to the list of capital crimes: Airbnb listings with photos of nearby tourist attractions. I know what fucking city it's in dipshit. That tram is not in your living room
Guten Morgan Freeman
December 17, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Guten Morgan Freeman
Bagels are good for when you want to spread stuff on bread but you also want a little challenge
December 7, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Bagels are good for when you want to spread stuff on bread but you also want a little challenge
Damn, this list must have taken some compiling
November 16, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Damn, this list must have taken some compiling
Sunny afternoon in Lisbon, cabby with the window down blaring The Neverending Story
November 9, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Sunny afternoon in Lisbon, cabby with the window down blaring The Neverending Story
Four Seasons day remains my favourite day to have been a person on the internet
This is my all time favorite video ever. I'm not usually a fan of the whole laughing in the middle of your post but that's exactly what made this clip so good. You can't not lose your shit watching it
November 7, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Four Seasons day remains my favourite day to have been a person on the internet
Sandwich Guy goes free - writing about his case a while back was one of the few enjoyable moments of the dystopia cycle
www.patreon.com/posts/137813...
www.patreon.com/posts/137813...
Sandwich Guy, and small acts of resistance | Geoff Lemon
Get more from Geoff Lemon on Patreon
www.patreon.com
November 7, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Sandwich Guy goes free - writing about his case a while back was one of the few enjoyable moments of the dystopia cycle
www.patreon.com/posts/137813...
www.patreon.com/posts/137813...
Get yourself an aloof wife to quietly steer your campaign
November 5, 2025 at 11:52 AM
Get yourself an aloof wife to quietly steer your campaign
I look forward to those million people making good on their promise to flee New York City
November 5, 2025 at 5:35 AM
I look forward to those million people making good on their promise to flee New York City