Jordan Vance (no relation)
@jvance.org
Your honor, I'm a dog.
Pinned
What fresh hell awaits us today?
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
My dad abhors any negative comments about immigrants. Asked him recently why he’s so strong on it: ‘Because we’re always happy to take the rich and clever ones. Which means it’s not about disliking immigrants. It’s about disliking the poor and vulnerable. And that’s a bad human instinct.’
December 7, 2025 at 8:31 AM
My dad abhors any negative comments about immigrants. Asked him recently why he’s so strong on it: ‘Because we’re always happy to take the rich and clever ones. Which means it’s not about disliking immigrants. It’s about disliking the poor and vulnerable. And that’s a bad human instinct.’
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
WEIRD AL, AGE 45: Ha ha, I like the riffs, but these Rage Against the Machine lyrics are kind of corny.
WEIRD AL, AGE 65 (at a concert): You know, some of those who work forces are actually, no joke, the same who burn crosses.
WEIRD AL, AGE 65 (at a concert): You know, some of those who work forces are actually, no joke, the same who burn crosses.
December 6, 2025 at 6:18 PM
WEIRD AL, AGE 45: Ha ha, I like the riffs, but these Rage Against the Machine lyrics are kind of corny.
WEIRD AL, AGE 65 (at a concert): You know, some of those who work forces are actually, no joke, the same who burn crosses.
WEIRD AL, AGE 65 (at a concert): You know, some of those who work forces are actually, no joke, the same who burn crosses.
Ghoulish.
“She showed up as scheduled, and when she arrived, officers were asking everyone what country they were from, and if they said a certain country, they were told to step out of line and that their oath ceremonies were canceled.”
www.wgbh.org/news/local/2... @gbhnews.bsky.social
www.wgbh.org/news/local/2... @gbhnews.bsky.social
Immigrants kept from Faneuil Hall citizenship ceremony as feds crackdown nationwide
Trump administration is pausing naturalizations for immigrants from 19 countries.
www.wgbh.org
December 6, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Ghoulish.
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
“She showed up as scheduled, and when she arrived, officers were asking everyone what country they were from, and if they said a certain country, they were told to step out of line and that their oath ceremonies were canceled.”
www.wgbh.org/news/local/2... @gbhnews.bsky.social
www.wgbh.org/news/local/2... @gbhnews.bsky.social
Immigrants kept from Faneuil Hall citizenship ceremony as feds crackdown nationwide
Trump administration is pausing naturalizations for immigrants from 19 countries.
www.wgbh.org
December 5, 2025 at 10:56 PM
“She showed up as scheduled, and when she arrived, officers were asking everyone what country they were from, and if they said a certain country, they were told to step out of line and that their oath ceremonies were canceled.”
www.wgbh.org/news/local/2... @gbhnews.bsky.social
www.wgbh.org/news/local/2... @gbhnews.bsky.social
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
The USPS posting a NINE BILLION DOLLAR LOSS!!! sounds terrible. Certainly worse than if you said "USPS costs thirty dollars per person per year" even though that means the same thing and more accurately describes a government service
December 5, 2025 at 1:31 PM
The USPS posting a NINE BILLION DOLLAR LOSS!!! sounds terrible. Certainly worse than if you said "USPS costs thirty dollars per person per year" even though that means the same thing and more accurately describes a government service
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
We live in a corrupt and degraded time.
December 5, 2025 at 2:11 AM
We live in a corrupt and degraded time.
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
JD Vance Begins To Suspect There Another Group Chat
JD Vance Begins To Suspect There Another Group Chat
PALM BEACH, FL—Noticing everyone else’s phone simultaneously buzzing throughout a meeting, Vice President-elect JD Vance began to suspect there was another group chat among Trump’s senior staff that h...
theonion.com
December 4, 2025 at 9:42 PM
JD Vance Begins To Suspect There Another Group Chat
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
This man may be the most racist president this country has ever had, and twelve presidents owned slaves
Trump: "It’s a hellhole right now. And those Somalians should be out of here. They've destroyed our country. And all they do is complain, complain, complain. You have her. She’s always talking about the Constitution provides me with – go back to your own country and figure out your constitution."
December 3, 2025 at 10:29 PM
This man may be the most racist president this country has ever had, and twelve presidents owned slaves
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
December 2, 2025 at 8:48 AM
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
AD-ROCK: Yo Ebenezer you gotta show re-
BEASTIES: MORSE
AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of
Beasties: COURSE
MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy
BEASTIES: MOOCHER
MCA: We’re Christmas Past
MIKE D: Christmas Present
BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE
BEASTIES: MORSE
AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of
Beasties: COURSE
MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy
BEASTIES: MOOCHER
MCA: We’re Christmas Past
MIKE D: Christmas Present
BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE
January 5, 2025 at 8:01 PM
AD-ROCK: Yo Ebenezer you gotta show re-
BEASTIES: MORSE
AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of
Beasties: COURSE
MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy
BEASTIES: MOOCHER
MCA: We’re Christmas Past
MIKE D: Christmas Present
BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE
BEASTIES: MORSE
AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of
Beasties: COURSE
MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy
BEASTIES: MOOCHER
MCA: We’re Christmas Past
MIKE D: Christmas Present
BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
November 30, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
Rory Gilmore choosing a school
oh my god Yale
November 29, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Rory Gilmore choosing a school
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
"You must give me your license and credit card within the first three seconds of approaching the counter. This is not something I’ll ask you verbally. This is something you must understand innately, while I hold out my hand just enough to suggest I might be waiting for something."
I’m in Charge at This Hertz Location, and Buddy, You’re Not Getting a Car Today
Here’s how this is gonna go: First, you will step up to the rental counter only when I give you The Look. The Look is not markedly different from m...
buff.ly
November 27, 2025 at 2:00 AM
"You must give me your license and credit card within the first three seconds of approaching the counter. This is not something I’ll ask you verbally. This is something you must understand innately, while I hold out my hand just enough to suggest I might be waiting for something."
The White Sox are open to trying anything to turn around the team next year
Finally getting some theological clarity on the ethics of reclining in one’s plane seat
November 29, 2025 at 12:32 PM
The White Sox are open to trying anything to turn around the team next year
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
Finally getting some theological clarity on the ethics of reclining in one’s plane seat
November 29, 2025 at 12:13 PM
Finally getting some theological clarity on the ethics of reclining in one’s plane seat
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
Extremely good news: A print subscription for The Onion is very on sale today. You'll get your first copy by Christmas.
It's $75 for a year's worth of newspapers shipped to your real-life mailbox each month.
Get one for yourself, your friends, your family, or your enemies.
membership.theonion.com
It's $75 for a year's worth of newspapers shipped to your real-life mailbox each month.
Get one for yourself, your friends, your family, or your enemies.
membership.theonion.com
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
membership.theonion.com
November 26, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Extremely good news: A print subscription for The Onion is very on sale today. You'll get your first copy by Christmas.
It's $75 for a year's worth of newspapers shipped to your real-life mailbox each month.
Get one for yourself, your friends, your family, or your enemies.
membership.theonion.com
It's $75 for a year's worth of newspapers shipped to your real-life mailbox each month.
Get one for yourself, your friends, your family, or your enemies.
membership.theonion.com
@universalhub.com no photos but stuck truck on soldiers field at Western/arsenal. Wedged in pretty good.
November 26, 2025 at 2:00 AM
@universalhub.com no photos but stuck truck on soldiers field at Western/arsenal. Wedged in pretty good.
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
choosing a fight with isaac chotiner???
November 25, 2025 at 2:57 AM
choosing a fight with isaac chotiner???
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
Ok these all sound like gay porn titles.
November 15, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Ok these all sound like gay porn titles.
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
I'm seeing people wonder why ICE is going after Charlotte.
ICE has been at war with Charlotte's sheriff ever since he won in 2018.
We'd covered this at Bolts back in the day; this quote is from that sheriff:
ICE has been at war with Charlotte's sheriff ever since he won in 2018.
We'd covered this at Bolts back in the day; this quote is from that sheriff:
“When the 8 African American sheriffs took over the largest counties in North Carolina, it became a threat to the good ol’ boy system,” says the sheriff of Charlotte. These new sheriffs broke ties with ICE.
But GOP lawmakers cracked down this week, overbidding the governor’s veto to adopt this law:
But GOP lawmakers cracked down this week, overbidding the governor’s veto to adopt this law:
North Carolina GOP Is Cracking Down on the Black Sheriffs Who Stood Up to ICE
Boosted by new supermajorities, Republicans are closing in on legislation to mandate more collaboration with ICE and preempt local policies hard-won by immigrants’ rights advocates.
boltsmag.org
November 15, 2025 at 10:43 PM
I'm seeing people wonder why ICE is going after Charlotte.
ICE has been at war with Charlotte's sheriff ever since he won in 2018.
We'd covered this at Bolts back in the day; this quote is from that sheriff:
ICE has been at war with Charlotte's sheriff ever since he won in 2018.
We'd covered this at Bolts back in the day; this quote is from that sheriff:
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
‘The public needs to wake up’: Rhode Island mom detained at Logan for more than a week
The woman, a legal permanent resident for 40 years, is being denied access to a lawyer while being held by Customs and Border Protection
www.boston.com/news/local-n...
The woman, a legal permanent resident for 40 years, is being denied access to a lawyer while being held by Customs and Border Protection
www.boston.com/news/local-n...
'The public needs to wake up': Rhode Island mom detained at Logan for more than a week
The woman, a legal permanent resident for 40 years, is being denied access to a lawyer while being held by federal officials at Logan.
www.boston.com
November 15, 2025 at 11:38 AM
‘The public needs to wake up’: Rhode Island mom detained at Logan for more than a week
The woman, a legal permanent resident for 40 years, is being denied access to a lawyer while being held by Customs and Border Protection
www.boston.com/news/local-n...
The woman, a legal permanent resident for 40 years, is being denied access to a lawyer while being held by Customs and Border Protection
www.boston.com/news/local-n...
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
Oh wow @reuters.com got the photo here:
November 14, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Oh wow @reuters.com got the photo here:
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
Just how the hell does one do this
(From Alan Moore’s Jerusalem, on life)
(From Alan Moore’s Jerusalem, on life)
November 13, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Just how the hell does one do this
(From Alan Moore’s Jerusalem, on life)
(From Alan Moore’s Jerusalem, on life)
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
Realizing we didn't need all this fucking red string at all
November 13, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Realizing we didn't need all this fucking red string at all
Reposted by Jordan Vance (no relation)
What's from Chicago, hates Illinois Nazis, and is holy as fuck?
It's the Pope in 1982.
It's the Pope in 1982.
November 13, 2025 at 1:37 AM
What's from Chicago, hates Illinois Nazis, and is holy as fuck?
It's the Pope in 1982.
It's the Pope in 1982.