JavaSux
@javasux.bsky.social
AI pfp = block
Anime girl pfp = block
Bio unironically starting with "Husband" or "Father" = mute
he/him 🏳️🌈, friend of Eggbug
Anime girl pfp = block
Bio unironically starting with "Husband" or "Father" = mute
he/him 🏳️🌈, friend of Eggbug
Reposted by JavaSux
Dwarves be like "this is my friend Oing, son of Boing" we get it bro, you're whimsical. now please fix my sword
December 14, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Dwarves be like "this is my friend Oing, son of Boing" we get it bro, you're whimsical. now please fix my sword
Reposted by JavaSux
i love "Terracotta mask in the shape of the head of a fox, dog, or bat ca. 600–480 BCE" so much he's so perfect
March 3, 2025 at 1:04 AM
i love "Terracotta mask in the shape of the head of a fox, dog, or bat ca. 600–480 BCE" so much he's so perfect
Reposted by JavaSux
clothes washer?? oh you mean a chapstick rinsing machine
December 11, 2025 at 6:57 PM
clothes washer?? oh you mean a chapstick rinsing machine
Reposted by JavaSux
[lips on mic] Bingle Jells
December 11, 2025 at 11:34 PM
[lips on mic] Bingle Jells
Reposted by JavaSux
(cheerfully clocking in for my first shift as the prince's whipping boy) alright boss who we whippin first
December 8, 2025 at 4:32 PM
(cheerfully clocking in for my first shift as the prince's whipping boy) alright boss who we whippin first
Reposted by JavaSux
My wife, a prodigious sleep-talker, failed to disclose her affliction when we started dating, which led to the fright of my life the night she sat bolt upright in bed and in a low flat monotone loudly declared that “THIRTEEN BABIES REMAIN UNFATHERED.”
June 11, 2024 at 11:35 PM
My wife, a prodigious sleep-talker, failed to disclose her affliction when we started dating, which led to the fright of my life the night she sat bolt upright in bed and in a low flat monotone loudly declared that “THIRTEEN BABIES REMAIN UNFATHERED.”
Reposted by JavaSux
Hey. We saw you from across the bar and we wanted you to know: we hate your vibe
December 7, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Hey. We saw you from across the bar and we wanted you to know: we hate your vibe
Reposted by JavaSux
I SAID *cocks gun* don we now our gay apparel
December 19, 2023 at 11:44 PM
I SAID *cocks gun* don we now our gay apparel
Reposted by JavaSux
she ebbin' on my neezer 'til I Scrooge
December 5, 2025 at 5:56 PM
she ebbin' on my neezer 'til I Scrooge
Reposted by JavaSux
Thinking about the very normal name Octavia and giggling thinking about calling someone Pentonica
December 5, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Thinking about the very normal name Octavia and giggling thinking about calling someone Pentonica
Reposted by JavaSux
billionaires could do amazing things every week but don't. elon musk could launch 52 sodas a year instead of fake mars bs, but we are never going to get beverast, the first good soda to taste like eggs, the most important can of the day
December 5, 2025 at 3:57 AM
billionaires could do amazing things every week but don't. elon musk could launch 52 sodas a year instead of fake mars bs, but we are never going to get beverast, the first good soda to taste like eggs, the most important can of the day
Reposted by JavaSux
Reposted by JavaSux
this video makes me laugh every time. i always forget what happens
December 5, 2025 at 12:54 AM
this video makes me laugh every time. i always forget what happens
Reposted by JavaSux
#3142 A spider without all that extra shit.
November 3, 2025 at 12:30 AM
#3142 A spider without all that extra shit.
Reposted by JavaSux
for generations scholars have debated which gender goes to college to get more knowledge, and which goes to Jupiter to get more stupider. in this essay i will...
December 4, 2025 at 5:45 AM
for generations scholars have debated which gender goes to college to get more knowledge, and which goes to Jupiter to get more stupider. in this essay i will...
Reposted by JavaSux
if you aren't listening to music on at least 1.5x speed you aren't a real music fan. a real music fan would want to listen to as much music as possible
December 1, 2025 at 2:45 PM
if you aren't listening to music on at least 1.5x speed you aren't a real music fan. a real music fan would want to listen to as much music as possible
Reposted by JavaSux
FAILED FUCKING EMPIRE
November 29, 2025 at 10:04 PM
FAILED FUCKING EMPIRE
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I am declaring war on 82% of bluesky with this
October 29, 2024 at 1:15 AM
I am declaring war on 82% of bluesky with this
Reposted by JavaSux
[the robe store]
me: is this a good one for getting the morning paper
salesperson: yes and, you’re gonna love this, it’s our top rated robe for frantically taking the garbage out because you hear the truck coming
me: (hiding my excitement) really
me: is this a good one for getting the morning paper
salesperson: yes and, you’re gonna love this, it’s our top rated robe for frantically taking the garbage out because you hear the truck coming
me: (hiding my excitement) really
November 14, 2024 at 4:54 PM
[the robe store]
me: is this a good one for getting the morning paper
salesperson: yes and, you’re gonna love this, it’s our top rated robe for frantically taking the garbage out because you hear the truck coming
me: (hiding my excitement) really
me: is this a good one for getting the morning paper
salesperson: yes and, you’re gonna love this, it’s our top rated robe for frantically taking the garbage out because you hear the truck coming
me: (hiding my excitement) really
Reposted by JavaSux
HAPPY THANKSGIVIG - dashare.zone ADMIN
November 27, 2025 at 6:38 PM
HAPPY THANKSGIVIG - dashare.zone ADMIN
Reposted by JavaSux
DOORDASH: imagine a $12 sandwich
ME: oh dang that sounds so good
DOORDASH: now imagine that it could be yours for just $37
ME: oh dang that sounds so good
DOORDASH: now imagine that it could be yours for just $37
November 26, 2025 at 5:03 PM
DOORDASH: imagine a $12 sandwich
ME: oh dang that sounds so good
DOORDASH: now imagine that it could be yours for just $37
ME: oh dang that sounds so good
DOORDASH: now imagine that it could be yours for just $37
Reposted by JavaSux
I’ve decided that the only person I want to interview Sam Altman is Ziwe
November 26, 2025 at 9:25 PM
I’ve decided that the only person I want to interview Sam Altman is Ziwe
Reposted by JavaSux
Let’s be honest: nothing Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin have done in the last 56 years justifies the tremendous cost of bringing them back from the moon. NASA should’ve spared the long-suffering taxpayer and left them up there
November 23, 2025 at 3:39 AM
Let’s be honest: nothing Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin have done in the last 56 years justifies the tremendous cost of bringing them back from the moon. NASA should’ve spared the long-suffering taxpayer and left them up there
Reposted by JavaSux
getting the mic at a q&a, saying "this is more of a comment than a question" and then handing the mic back
May 14, 2024 at 3:30 AM
getting the mic at a q&a, saying "this is more of a comment than a question" and then handing the mic back
Reposted by JavaSux
(first time seeing a loofah) babe you left your garlic bread in the shower
November 21, 2025 at 7:35 PM
(first time seeing a loofah) babe you left your garlic bread in the shower