Guy Fraser
@guyfraser.bsky.social
I thought I had a book in me but it was just trapped wind.
Going over to Susan's House
Going over to Susan's House
you can tell a lot about a person based on whether they use lamps (balanced, gracious, empathetic) or overhead lights (chaotic, deranged, murderer)
January 26, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Reposted by Guy Fraser
*discovery of potatoes*
1st person: What should we do with these?
2nd person: *clenches fist* EVERYTHING.
1st person: What should we do with these?
2nd person: *clenches fist* EVERYTHING.
January 5, 2025 at 10:19 AM
*discovery of potatoes*
1st person: What should we do with these?
2nd person: *clenches fist* EVERYTHING.
1st person: What should we do with these?
2nd person: *clenches fist* EVERYTHING.
Reposted by Guy Fraser
“I’m under the weather” we all are. The weather is in the sky. Unless you’re in an airplane then you’re IN the weather. Anyway get well soon!
December 15, 2024 at 7:47 PM
“I’m under the weather” we all are. The weather is in the sky. Unless you’re in an airplane then you’re IN the weather. Anyway get well soon!
@jonnelledge.bsky.social Good to finally get my hands on 47 borders @jonnelledge.bsky.social
December 25, 2024 at 10:37 AM
@jonnelledge.bsky.social Good to finally get my hands on 47 borders @jonnelledge.bsky.social
Reposted by Guy Fraser
I don’t know who’s worse, the people who sign their pets’ names on Christmas cards, or the pets who refuse to sign
December 24, 2024 at 7:12 PM
I don’t know who’s worse, the people who sign their pets’ names on Christmas cards, or the pets who refuse to sign
Reposted by Guy Fraser
It's a common misconception. Actually, Frank Incense is the name of the king. The gift he brought was Frank Incense's monster. Look it up.
December 18, 2024 at 1:24 AM
It's a common misconception. Actually, Frank Incense is the name of the king. The gift he brought was Frank Incense's monster. Look it up.
Reposted by Guy Fraser
Me: I'll have a beer
Waiter: it's 10am
Me: I'll have a beer and some scrambled eggs
Waiter: it's 10am
Me: I'll have a beer and some scrambled eggs
December 18, 2024 at 3:00 PM
Me: I'll have a beer
Waiter: it's 10am
Me: I'll have a beer and some scrambled eggs
Waiter: it's 10am
Me: I'll have a beer and some scrambled eggs
Reposted by Guy Fraser
If turtles hate straws so much then explain this
December 14, 2024 at 8:14 PM
If turtles hate straws so much then explain this
Reposted by Guy Fraser
Someday, I'm going to find out what chloroform smells like. Maybe I already did.
November 14, 2024 at 4:02 PM
Someday, I'm going to find out what chloroform smells like. Maybe I already did.
Reposted by Guy Fraser
You think you'll use the time machine to kill Hitler but, of course, he seduces you to his cause with his legendary charisma and then your friends are watching a documentary about the Nuremberg Trials and someone shouts, "Oh my God, is that Jack?!"
November 22, 2024 at 3:21 AM
You think you'll use the time machine to kill Hitler but, of course, he seduces you to his cause with his legendary charisma and then your friends are watching a documentary about the Nuremberg Trials and someone shouts, "Oh my God, is that Jack?!"
Long story short, I went to school with a Cliff Notes
December 11, 2024 at 12:30 PM
Long story short, I went to school with a Cliff Notes
Reposted by Guy Fraser
i found a sweater at the mall that i really want to get for my dad but the guy wearing it is being a total dick
December 10, 2024 at 6:16 PM
i found a sweater at the mall that i really want to get for my dad but the guy wearing it is being a total dick
Reposted by Guy Fraser
They say whoever smelt it dealt it so technically this weed is yours officer
December 1, 2024 at 9:02 PM
They say whoever smelt it dealt it so technically this weed is yours officer
Reposted by Guy Fraser
FINANCIAL PLANNER: Have you
ME: No
ME: No
December 9, 2024 at 1:00 AM
FINANCIAL PLANNER: Have you
ME: No
ME: No
Reposted by Guy Fraser
Doctor: "Alright, everyone. We’re performing a vasectomy today."
Me, with a vase up my ass: "Oh, thank God."
Me, with a vase up my ass: "Oh, thank God."
December 8, 2024 at 6:14 PM
Doctor: "Alright, everyone. We’re performing a vasectomy today."
Me, with a vase up my ass: "Oh, thank God."
Me, with a vase up my ass: "Oh, thank God."
Reposted by Guy Fraser
a 96 is where you use each others butts as pillows
December 8, 2024 at 5:56 PM
a 96 is where you use each others butts as pillows
@nickomc.bsky.social @chrischrischris.bsky.social Just warming up
December 8, 2024 at 7:59 PM
@nickomc.bsky.social @chrischrischris.bsky.social Just warming up
Reposted by Guy Fraser
What do you get when you cross Midas with Oedipus?
Pure motherfucking gold
Pure motherfucking gold
December 7, 2024 at 1:13 PM
What do you get when you cross Midas with Oedipus?
Pure motherfucking gold
Pure motherfucking gold
Reposted by Guy Fraser
alexander graham bell slipping a piece of paper with the number 1 written on it to a babe at the bar
December 5, 2024 at 4:30 AM
alexander graham bell slipping a piece of paper with the number 1 written on it to a babe at the bar
Reposted by Guy Fraser
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is #1 and I won’t hear anything otherwise.
November 27, 2024 at 11:35 PM
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is #1 and I won’t hear anything otherwise.
And a small 15 at that
November 24, 2024 at 2:40 PM
And a small 15 at that
Reposted by Guy Fraser
weird name for a horse imo
November 23, 2024 at 6:33 PM
weird name for a horse imo