Jack Boot
@jackboot.bsky.social
Some rando. I shall occasionally be reposting my old crap from the other place. If that's gauche, sue me. I only have so many thoughts.
My thingy-doos: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:x7c6xlcylaorwzbms2xlzjpf/feed/aaacjsujdyxeu
My thingy-doos: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:x7c6xlcylaorwzbms2xlzjpf/feed/aaacjsujdyxeu
Pinned
Jack Boot
@jackboot.bsky.social
· Dec 28
I love living on a cul-de-sac. It's so French. When I see Bobby on the other side of the cul-de-sac sitting on the edge of his front yard trampoline, cleaning his ears with his car keys, well, I feel like a citizen of the world.
Reposted by Jack Boot
Venus is the idiot in your group who tries to get into the canoe by stepping on the gunnel like she's boarding the Queen Mary and tips everyone's shit over.
February 8, 2026 at 5:43 AM
Venus is the idiot in your group who tries to get into the canoe by stepping on the gunnel like she's boarding the Queen Mary and tips everyone's shit over.
Reposted by Jack Boot
Brazilian jiu-jitsu? Well, it's like regular jiu-jitsu but you try to rip all the hair off of your opponent's body.
December 15, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Brazilian jiu-jitsu? Well, it's like regular jiu-jitsu but you try to rip all the hair off of your opponent's body.
Venus is the idiot in your group who tries to get into the canoe by stepping on the gunnel like she's boarding the Queen Mary and tips everyone's shit over.
February 8, 2026 at 5:43 AM
Venus is the idiot in your group who tries to get into the canoe by stepping on the gunnel like she's boarding the Queen Mary and tips everyone's shit over.
Reposted by Jack Boot
"Everything's interconnected, man."
-me, high at Legoland
-me, high at Legoland
February 5, 2026 at 1:20 PM
"Everything's interconnected, man."
-me, high at Legoland
-me, high at Legoland
Reposted by Jack Boot
your beaver is eager? my beaver’s a bush leaguer we are not the same
February 5, 2026 at 3:41 PM
your beaver is eager? my beaver’s a bush leaguer we are not the same
Reposted by Jack Boot
i have never in my life aspired to an honorific higher than “this mf’er”
February 5, 2026 at 3:09 PM
i have never in my life aspired to an honorific higher than “this mf’er”
Reposted by Jack Boot
I will whisk you off your feet, but keep in mind that I will be using an actual whisk.
February 5, 2026 at 6:11 PM
I will whisk you off your feet, but keep in mind that I will be using an actual whisk.
Reposted by Jack Boot
My mother thinks young ppl talk too fast to understand these days and she blames "instant information technology," she told me via telegraph.
February 5, 2026 at 6:12 PM
My mother thinks young ppl talk too fast to understand these days and she blames "instant information technology," she told me via telegraph.
Reposted by Jack Boot
An owl woke me early this morning. I stood and looked out the window and just caught its silhouette flying. I realize there’s something deeply mystical and perhaps prophetic about this, but I’m still going to tweet about bearded clams today
February 5, 2026 at 4:02 PM
An owl woke me early this morning. I stood and looked out the window and just caught its silhouette flying. I realize there’s something deeply mystical and perhaps prophetic about this, but I’m still going to tweet about bearded clams today
Reposted by Jack Boot
If I knew anything about water coolers do you really think I'd be hanging around the bird bath asking how to splash for myself when they talk dirty about me at work
February 5, 2026 at 4:59 PM
If I knew anything about water coolers do you really think I'd be hanging around the bird bath asking how to splash for myself when they talk dirty about me at work
Mitch Hedberg -
Friend: This is a picture of me when I was younger.
Mitch: Every picture of you is a picture of you when you were younger.
Friend: This is a picture of me when I was younger.
Mitch: Every picture of you is a picture of you when you were younger.
February 5, 2026 at 11:26 PM
Mitch Hedberg -
Friend: This is a picture of me when I was younger.
Mitch: Every picture of you is a picture of you when you were younger.
Friend: This is a picture of me when I was younger.
Mitch: Every picture of you is a picture of you when you were younger.
It's hard to believe but if you wear a top hat to work every day, eventually, your coworkers won't even notice it. Now the monocle.
February 5, 2026 at 4:53 AM
It's hard to believe but if you wear a top hat to work every day, eventually, your coworkers won't even notice it. Now the monocle.
The country owes a dept of gratitude to the citizens and martyrs of Minneapolis for their nonstop resistance. If ICE never invades your city it may be because of how costly Minneapolis has been for them.
February 5, 2026 at 2:43 AM
The country owes a dept of gratitude to the citizens and martyrs of Minneapolis for their nonstop resistance. If ICE never invades your city it may be because of how costly Minneapolis has been for them.
If you're nervous speaking in front of a group a good trick is to imagine your audience in their underwear. Don't do this if you teach the third grade.
February 3, 2026 at 3:04 PM
If you're nervous speaking in front of a group a good trick is to imagine your audience in their underwear. Don't do this if you teach the third grade.
You're wrong. This isn't like Idiocracy. A President Camacho would be a vast improvement.
February 3, 2026 at 2:49 PM
You're wrong. This isn't like Idiocracy. A President Camacho would be a vast improvement.
I'm trying to like HBO's The Pitt. I just can never get into medical dramas. There is a sameness to all of them. It's too easy to write drama in a medical setting and it's very formulaic. These shows are interchangeable.
February 2, 2026 at 3:28 AM
I'm trying to like HBO's The Pitt. I just can never get into medical dramas. There is a sameness to all of them. It's too easy to write drama in a medical setting and it's very formulaic. These shows are interchangeable.
The sound of the vacuum cleaner discovering an errant Christmas ornament hook. Ah, Christmas in July.
February 1, 2026 at 12:15 AM
The sound of the vacuum cleaner discovering an errant Christmas ornament hook. Ah, Christmas in July.
She said I have a sixth grade education, which I couldn't deny. But I also have a seventh grade education, an eighth grade education and it keeps going all the way up through my professional degree. What's with the sixth grade?
January 29, 2026 at 4:57 PM
She said I have a sixth grade education, which I couldn't deny. But I also have a seventh grade education, an eighth grade education and it keeps going all the way up through my professional degree. What's with the sixth grade?
Reposted by Jack Boot
Remember summer parties? Remember waking up in the backyard covered in ants with a mouthfull of grass and using a broken lawn chair as a blanket? Remember looking for the wife and kids and only finding a note? Those golden summer times.
December 12, 2024 at 3:56 AM
Remember summer parties? Remember waking up in the backyard covered in ants with a mouthfull of grass and using a broken lawn chair as a blanket? Remember looking for the wife and kids and only finding a note? Those golden summer times.
- So tell us about your hobbies.
- Uhh... I don't have any. Is that an option?
- Just say you like hiking.
- I like to hike.
- Uhh... I don't have any. Is that an option?
- Just say you like hiking.
- I like to hike.
January 28, 2026 at 4:14 PM
- So tell us about your hobbies.
- Uhh... I don't have any. Is that an option?
- Just say you like hiking.
- I like to hike.
- Uhh... I don't have any. Is that an option?
- Just say you like hiking.
- I like to hike.
Nuremberg II. Looking forward to the sequel.
January 26, 2026 at 11:28 PM
Nuremberg II. Looking forward to the sequel.
Reposted by Jack Boot
The worst Americans are murdering the best Americans.
January 26, 2026 at 3:20 PM
The worst Americans are murdering the best Americans.
Reposted by Jack Boot
This administration gaslights more than 19th century London
January 26, 2026 at 8:03 PM
This administration gaslights more than 19th century London
When Renee Good was murdered by ICE officer Jonathan Ross, there was no genuine internal investigation or refocusing of their mission inside ICE or DHS to prevent this from happening again. This signaled to ICE agents in the field that they should keep doing exactly what they were doing. Now this.
January 26, 2026 at 6:06 PM
When Renee Good was murdered by ICE officer Jonathan Ross, there was no genuine internal investigation or refocusing of their mission inside ICE or DHS to prevent this from happening again. This signaled to ICE agents in the field that they should keep doing exactly what they were doing. Now this.