Eric Wheeler
@ericwheeler.bsky.social
Fundamentals are the crutch of the talentless.
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.
December 18, 2025 at 7:54 PM
I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
slowly sucking in my gut while I pee so it looks like I'm deflating. all the other guys at the urinal trough hooting and hollering like I'm David Blaine. guy in the stall is trying to shit faster cuz he knows he's missing out on something but he's not sure what
December 2, 2025 at 2:01 AM
slowly sucking in my gut while I pee so it looks like I'm deflating. all the other guys at the urinal trough hooting and hollering like I'm David Blaine. guy in the stall is trying to shit faster cuz he knows he's missing out on something but he's not sure what
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
I'm at the combination
December 4, 2025 at 3:17 AM
I'm at the combination
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
Tomatoes are a rich source of lycopene (werewolf dick)
July 8, 2023 at 2:08 AM
Tomatoes are a rich source of lycopene (werewolf dick)
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
*asking about a 4000 year gap on a resume* now it says here you were in “The Bog”?
November 20, 2025 at 1:24 AM
*asking about a 4000 year gap on a resume* now it says here you were in “The Bog”?
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
We live in an episode of Veep
October 28, 2025 at 6:17 PM
We live in an episode of Veep
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
Most people have guardian angels. I have a possum with a crow bar whispering ‘let’s make it worse’
October 23, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Most people have guardian angels. I have a possum with a crow bar whispering ‘let’s make it worse’
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
It's been a FUN couple of days!
With 48 hours until game time, both teams are over the $10k mark and the race to Chair-ity Champion is heating up!
College football fans coming together to support their communities, it's what it's all about! Donate below!
BrokenChairTrophy.com
With 48 hours until game time, both teams are over the $10k mark and the race to Chair-ity Champion is heating up!
College football fans coming together to support their communities, it's what it's all about! Donate below!
BrokenChairTrophy.com
October 15, 2025 at 10:07 PM
It's been a FUN couple of days!
With 48 hours until game time, both teams are over the $10k mark and the race to Chair-ity Champion is heating up!
College football fans coming together to support their communities, it's what it's all about! Donate below!
BrokenChairTrophy.com
With 48 hours until game time, both teams are over the $10k mark and the race to Chair-ity Champion is heating up!
College football fans coming together to support their communities, it's what it's all about! Donate below!
BrokenChairTrophy.com
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
perfect Wikipedia sequence
August 17, 2025 at 12:07 AM
perfect Wikipedia sequence
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
great art is supposed to make us uncomfortable
the liberty mutual guy is fucking that emu right
October 4, 2025 at 3:04 AM
great art is supposed to make us uncomfortable
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
With Dave and Busters, it’s pretty clear which one handled the finances and which one handled the video games.
April 1, 2025 at 8:33 PM
With Dave and Busters, it’s pretty clear which one handled the finances and which one handled the video games.
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
this is basically portland's version of a haka
Portland enacts emergency powers of nudity to check federal overreach.
October 1, 2025 at 9:41 PM
this is basically portland's version of a haka
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
Orion: you guys wanna see something sick
Everyone: is it your fuckass belt again
Orion: ...
Everyone: is it your fuckass belt again
Orion: ...
October 2, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Orion: you guys wanna see something sick
Everyone: is it your fuckass belt again
Orion: ...
Everyone: is it your fuckass belt again
Orion: ...
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
Pepsi A.M. (1989-1990): Pepsi Cola with 28% more caffeine, marketed as a morning drink to replace coffee or tea. Available in regular or 1-calorie diet
March 27, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Pepsi A.M. (1989-1990): Pepsi Cola with 28% more caffeine, marketed as a morning drink to replace coffee or tea. Available in regular or 1-calorie diet
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
They’re going to make outlaws of all of us. We will all have to go to Canada to get our Tylenol and other sundry painkillers.
September 23, 2025 at 12:38 AM
They’re going to make outlaws of all of us. We will all have to go to Canada to get our Tylenol and other sundry painkillers.
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
Trump: don’t take acepitoemponoene
RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth*
A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel”
Person watching on tv: well if they say so
RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth*
A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel”
Person watching on tv: well if they say so
September 23, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Trump: don’t take acepitoemponoene
RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth*
A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel”
Person watching on tv: well if they say so
RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth*
A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel”
Person watching on tv: well if they say so
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
Lowering the flags on 9/11 at the Guantanamo Bay McDonald's for Charlie Kirk is the most dril tweet thing that's ever happened
The flags were lowered last night around the base by order of President Trump after the killing of Charlie Kirk and will stay at half-staff on this U.S. outpost in southeast Cuba until sunset on Sunday.
September 11, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Lowering the flags on 9/11 at the Guantanamo Bay McDonald's for Charlie Kirk is the most dril tweet thing that's ever happened
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
enchanted forest, turner, oregon, 1987
September 2, 2025 at 10:36 PM
enchanted forest, turner, oregon, 1987
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
its 2026. the only legal jobs are ICE agent, AI server farm maintenance, and beef tallow renderer
September 7, 2025 at 4:49 PM
its 2026. the only legal jobs are ICE agent, AI server farm maintenance, and beef tallow renderer
Why do they have Al Michaels walking in that Amazon Prime football commercial? We don’t need that. Al certainly doesn’t need that either.
September 11, 2025 at 4:33 AM
Why do they have Al Michaels walking in that Amazon Prime football commercial? We don’t need that. Al certainly doesn’t need that either.
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
mike’s hard look in the mirror
August 26, 2025 at 10:40 PM
mike’s hard look in the mirror
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
WIFE: The new neighbors were kind enough to invite us to dinner. Please try to be normal.
ME: of course.
[later]
ME (using a fork to put a layer of butter between two potato chips): You know, buildings are really insects — their skeletons are on the outside to protect the teeming life within
ME: of course.
[later]
ME (using a fork to put a layer of butter between two potato chips): You know, buildings are really insects — their skeletons are on the outside to protect the teeming life within
August 23, 2025 at 7:11 PM
WIFE: The new neighbors were kind enough to invite us to dinner. Please try to be normal.
ME: of course.
[later]
ME (using a fork to put a layer of butter between two potato chips): You know, buildings are really insects — their skeletons are on the outside to protect the teeming life within
ME: of course.
[later]
ME (using a fork to put a layer of butter between two potato chips): You know, buildings are really insects — their skeletons are on the outside to protect the teeming life within