Matt Correll
@dwarfbeard.bsky.social
Slightly felonious electrician who loves battle axes, British comedies, and retro gaming.
Reposted by Matt Correll
Part 2 of one of the most bonkers stories we've ever had on a website devoted to bonkers stories drops today, and it's FREE! It's got hand puppets, hand grenades, and details only @brockway.bsky.social could handle the psychic damage from. 1900hotdog.com/2025/04/upse...
April 3, 2025 at 3:09 PM
Part 2 of one of the most bonkers stories we've ever had on a website devoted to bonkers stories drops today, and it's FREE! It's got hand puppets, hand grenades, and details only @brockway.bsky.social could handle the psychic damage from. 1900hotdog.com/2025/04/upse...
Reposted by Matt Correll
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
and you wondered how this salon was still in business
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
and you wondered how this salon was still in business
February 10, 2025 at 11:21 AM
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
and you wondered how this salon was still in business
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
and you wondered how this salon was still in business
Reposted by Matt Correll
@youknowlydia.bsky.social found another Archie knockoff at the bottom of a bin of comics marked DO NOT something; the rest was smudged, so I guess we'll never know what it could have said. It's DC's Date With Debbi. 1900hotdog.com/2025/02/nerd...
February 10, 2025 at 3:34 PM
@youknowlydia.bsky.social found another Archie knockoff at the bottom of a bin of comics marked DO NOT something; the rest was smudged, so I guess we'll never know what it could have said. It's DC's Date With Debbi. 1900hotdog.com/2025/02/nerd...
Reposted by Matt Correll
My enemy [holding a gun]: you've got nowhere to run
[I calmly set down my guitar case and slowly open it. From within, I pull a massive automatic rifle. I slowly open that. Inside is a tiny guitar. I pick that up and play the solo from Stairway to Heaven]
My enemy: holy shit
[I calmly set down my guitar case and slowly open it. From within, I pull a massive automatic rifle. I slowly open that. Inside is a tiny guitar. I pick that up and play the solo from Stairway to Heaven]
My enemy: holy shit
February 1, 2025 at 9:23 PM
My enemy [holding a gun]: you've got nowhere to run
[I calmly set down my guitar case and slowly open it. From within, I pull a massive automatic rifle. I slowly open that. Inside is a tiny guitar. I pick that up and play the solo from Stairway to Heaven]
My enemy: holy shit
[I calmly set down my guitar case and slowly open it. From within, I pull a massive automatic rifle. I slowly open that. Inside is a tiny guitar. I pick that up and play the solo from Stairway to Heaven]
My enemy: holy shit
Reposted by Matt Correll
I have no ulterior motives. Unrelatedly, the fiction section looks great. I'd preorder everything there, especially the humor. Unless I hated joy. And the black writers, unless I was in the Klan. And black humor writers twice, just to be safe. Preorder my book.
buzz.publishersmarketplace.com
buzz.publishersmarketplace.com
January 14, 2025 at 7:03 PM
I have no ulterior motives. Unrelatedly, the fiction section looks great. I'd preorder everything there, especially the humor. Unless I hated joy. And the black writers, unless I was in the Klan. And black humor writers twice, just to be safe. Preorder my book.
buzz.publishersmarketplace.com
buzz.publishersmarketplace.com
Reposted by Matt Correll
At this rate China will launch a janitor into space and force him to watch cheesy movies long before the US does
January 12, 2025 at 5:23 AM
At this rate China will launch a janitor into space and force him to watch cheesy movies long before the US does
Reposted by Matt Correll
This is excellent, the real primo Scocca stuff. (It's a gift link) defector.com/how-crazy-wa...
How Crazy Was The Las Vegas Cybertruck Bomber? | Defector
Welcome to Margin of Error, a politics column from Tom Scocca, editor of the Indignity newsletter, examining the apocalyptic politics, coverage, and consequences of Campaign 2024. On Jan. 1, two separ...
defector.com
January 6, 2025 at 6:35 PM
This is excellent, the real primo Scocca stuff. (It's a gift link) defector.com/how-crazy-wa...
Reposted by Matt Correll
The sounds of broken bodies striking the earth intensify. Brief screams of agony fill the night, blending together in an unrelenting chorus of the macabre. Windshields shatter. Roofs collapse. Streets run crimson as rivers of blood rush into overflowing sewers.
It’s raining men.
It’s raining men.
December 18, 2024 at 4:09 PM
The sounds of broken bodies striking the earth intensify. Brief screams of agony fill the night, blending together in an unrelenting chorus of the macabre. Windshields shatter. Roofs collapse. Streets run crimson as rivers of blood rush into overflowing sewers.
It’s raining men.
It’s raining men.
Reposted by Matt Correll
It's been a long, cold winter, but a savior has come to remind us all how funny it is to watch incompetent men pretend to hunt Bigfoot. That's right @brockway.bsky.social is back! @jasonkpargin.bsky.social, @seanbaby.bsky.social, the gang's all here at last! soundcloud.com/1800bigfeets...
BIGFEETS Episode 35 - The AIMS Team vs. The Lightn-ROBERTSBACK!!!
The Bigfeets boys watchROBERT'S BACK!! JEHESIOUS CRIPES! We thought bigfoot ate him... we really did. Our apologies, we've been stalling. Turns out, Robert Brockway has been busy sharpening the many,
soundcloud.com
December 16, 2024 at 3:22 PM
It's been a long, cold winter, but a savior has come to remind us all how funny it is to watch incompetent men pretend to hunt Bigfoot. That's right @brockway.bsky.social is back! @jasonkpargin.bsky.social, @seanbaby.bsky.social, the gang's all here at last! soundcloud.com/1800bigfeets...
Reposted by Matt Correll
You can see @brockway.bsky.social's authentic facial hair and @seanbaby.bsky.social's stylish hat on this week's Bigfeets video podcast. @jasonkpargin.bsky.social will be there but won't have a stylish hat or signature beard. It's live on Youtube now! youtu.be/GHEKPFYGFBc
BIGFEETS Episode 35 - The AIMS Team vs. The Lightn-ROBERTSBACK!!!
YouTube video by 1-900-HOTDOG
youtu.be
December 16, 2024 at 3:24 PM
You can see @brockway.bsky.social's authentic facial hair and @seanbaby.bsky.social's stylish hat on this week's Bigfeets video podcast. @jasonkpargin.bsky.social will be there but won't have a stylish hat or signature beard. It's live on Youtube now! youtu.be/GHEKPFYGFBc
A column from Daniel O’Brien was such a surprise that I had to explain to coworkers a) what that sound I just made was and b) why I made it. I regret nothing.
DANIEL O'BRIEN HAS WRITTEN A COLUMN FOR 1900HOTDOG, IT IS FREELY AVAILABLE WITH NO ADS OR PAYWALL OR ANYTHING, DOB'S FIRST WRITTEN COLUMN IN OVER 25 YEARS, THIS IS NOT A DRILL:
1900hotdog.com/2024/12/nerd...
1900hotdog.com/2024/12/nerd...
December 11, 2024 at 8:03 PM
A column from Daniel O’Brien was such a surprise that I had to explain to coworkers a) what that sound I just made was and b) why I made it. I regret nothing.
Reposted by Matt Correll
SCULLY: It's impossible. There's no one on earth who could teach you to fit that many marshmallows in your mouth.
MULDER: Daff righ...... No one...... on urff...
MULDER: Daff righ...... No one...... on urff...
December 7, 2024 at 5:42 AM
SCULLY: It's impossible. There's no one on earth who could teach you to fit that many marshmallows in your mouth.
MULDER: Daff righ...... No one...... on urff...
MULDER: Daff righ...... No one...... on urff...
Reposted by Matt Correll
🎶WHOA BLACK BETTY YOSEMITE SAM
WHOA RICHARD PETTY GARBAGE CAN
WHOA PINK TEDDY A SIMPLE PLAN
WHOA GET READY YANKEES FAN
WHOA RICHARD PETTY GARBAGE CAN
WHOA PINK TEDDY A SIMPLE PLAN
WHOA GET READY YANKEES FAN
🎶WHOA BLACK BETTY PLASTIC LAMB
WHOA BLACK BETTY HOOVER DAM
WHOA BLACK BETTY SEBASTIAN STAN
WHOA BLACK BETTY CHOCOLATE FLAN
WHOA BLACK BETTY HOOVER DAM
WHOA BLACK BETTY SEBASTIAN STAN
WHOA BLACK BETTY CHOCOLATE FLAN
July 19, 2023 at 3:55 PM
🎶WHOA BLACK BETTY YOSEMITE SAM
WHOA RICHARD PETTY GARBAGE CAN
WHOA PINK TEDDY A SIMPLE PLAN
WHOA GET READY YANKEES FAN
WHOA RICHARD PETTY GARBAGE CAN
WHOA PINK TEDDY A SIMPLE PLAN
WHOA GET READY YANKEES FAN
Reposted by Matt Correll
woodchuck: (seeing some unchucked wood) what the fuck is this
December 8, 2024 at 5:29 PM
woodchuck: (seeing some unchucked wood) what the fuck is this
Reposted by Matt Correll
Snoopy's not telling you to kill he's just making dog noises, Charlie Brown.
December 7, 2024 at 8:07 PM
Snoopy's not telling you to kill he's just making dog noises, Charlie Brown.
Reposted by Matt Correll
These people make me laugh daily and all deserve a follow
go.bsky.app/8pZS7se
go.bsky.app/8pZS7se
November 29, 2024 at 2:19 PM
These people make me laugh daily and all deserve a follow
go.bsky.app/8pZS7se
go.bsky.app/8pZS7se
Reposted by Matt Correll
the most romantic thing in life is being haters together with someone you love
December 5, 2024 at 1:23 PM
the most romantic thing in life is being haters together with someone you love
Also Titanic. Keep Billy Zane.
Jaws, keep Robert Shaw
December 5, 2024 at 3:19 AM
Also Titanic. Keep Billy Zane.
Carrie. Keep her mom human.
Jaws, keep Robert Shaw
December 5, 2024 at 3:18 AM
Carrie. Keep her mom human.
Reposted by Matt Correll
[finding marshmallows in the cupboard]
me: hey why did you buy marshmallows
wife: i didn’t
mulder: (appears out of nowhere) actually…no one has bought marshmallows since 1966
scully: (right next to him) why don't you two have a seat
me: hey why did you buy marshmallows
wife: i didn’t
mulder: (appears out of nowhere) actually…no one has bought marshmallows since 1966
scully: (right next to him) why don't you two have a seat
December 4, 2024 at 8:02 PM
[finding marshmallows in the cupboard]
me: hey why did you buy marshmallows
wife: i didn’t
mulder: (appears out of nowhere) actually…no one has bought marshmallows since 1966
scully: (right next to him) why don't you two have a seat
me: hey why did you buy marshmallows
wife: i didn’t
mulder: (appears out of nowhere) actually…no one has bought marshmallows since 1966
scully: (right next to him) why don't you two have a seat
Reposted by Matt Correll
Clark Kent: *removes glasses*
Freddie Prinze Jr: wow I never realized how beautiful you are
Freddie Prinze Jr: wow I never realized how beautiful you are
January 8, 2024 at 5:47 PM
Clark Kent: *removes glasses*
Freddie Prinze Jr: wow I never realized how beautiful you are
Freddie Prinze Jr: wow I never realized how beautiful you are
Reposted by Matt Correll
splinter: let’s go around the table and share something we’re thankful for
michelangelo: pizza
donatello: knowledge
me: aunt janet’s weed omg
michelangelo: pizza
donatello: knowledge
me: aunt janet’s weed omg
November 28, 2024 at 5:42 PM
splinter: let’s go around the table and share something we’re thankful for
michelangelo: pizza
donatello: knowledge
me: aunt janet’s weed omg
michelangelo: pizza
donatello: knowledge
me: aunt janet’s weed omg
Reposted by Matt Correll
We need more Star Trek episodes of someone from a less technologically advanced civilization coming aboard the ship and dying from dehydration in the holodeck because they can’t stop masturbating.
www.newsweek.com/north-korean...
www.newsweek.com/north-korean...
North Korean troops sent to Russia are 'gorging on pornography'
The Pentagon has responded to report about North Krean soldiers' reported pornographic internet activities in Russia.
www.newsweek.com
November 28, 2024 at 5:14 AM
We need more Star Trek episodes of someone from a less technologically advanced civilization coming aboard the ship and dying from dehydration in the holodeck because they can’t stop masturbating.
www.newsweek.com/north-korean...
www.newsweek.com/north-korean...
Reposted by Matt Correll
thanks for nothing
November 28, 2024 at 7:43 PM
thanks for nothing
Reposted by Matt Correll
you, a host: “Mike what are you bringing to Thanksgiving?”
Me, the ultimate guest: “the most important dish of all”
Me, the ultimate guest: “the most important dish of all”
November 28, 2024 at 7:42 PM
you, a host: “Mike what are you bringing to Thanksgiving?”
Me, the ultimate guest: “the most important dish of all”
Me, the ultimate guest: “the most important dish of all”