Cristian Ramirez
@cristianramirez.bsky.social
That one guy from Cracked, Small Beans, and Gamefully Unemployed. Usually depressed, rarely funny.
https://www.cracked.com/members/ramirez421
https://ko-fi.com/jcristianramirez
https://www.cracked.com/members/ramirez421
https://ko-fi.com/jcristianramirez
How has nobody written an historical fiction or biography about Shakespeare and Charles Dickens’ sons called simply, “Hamnet and Plorn”
January 4, 2026 at 3:24 AM
How has nobody written an historical fiction or biography about Shakespeare and Charles Dickens’ sons called simply, “Hamnet and Plorn”
How fucking far does it need to go Chuck?! I’m repeatedly baffled at dems’ incompetence, because seriously wtf?
Asked about the possibility of impeachment, Schumer says "we hope that we can have support from our Republican colleagues to put a brake on this long before it gets that far"
January 3, 2026 at 8:38 PM
How fucking far does it need to go Chuck?! I’m repeatedly baffled at dems’ incompetence, because seriously wtf?
Reposted by Cristian Ramirez
now more than ever:
October 29, 2025 at 11:33 PM
now more than ever:
Reposted by Cristian Ramirez
okay i am sorry to be that bitch but the one word you can't use to describe this is "unprecedented."
January 3, 2026 at 3:04 PM
okay i am sorry to be that bitch but the one word you can't use to describe this is "unprecedented."
Reposted by Cristian Ramirez
Maybe the Trump administration just did a big oopsie because they have such a habit of kidnapping Latinos already
January 3, 2026 at 1:58 PM
Maybe the Trump administration just did a big oopsie because they have such a habit of kidnapping Latinos already
Reposted by Cristian Ramirez
When you look any deeper at literally every political problem the US is experiencing now
January 3, 2026 at 3:12 PM
When you look any deeper at literally every political problem the US is experiencing now
Reposted by Cristian Ramirez
To do what, exactly? The House will be back on Tuesday. You, as in literally you as an individual member of the House all on your own, could force a privileged vote on impeachment (among a variety of other possible measures) and it would then get a vote no later than Thursday.
Speaker Johnson must call the House of Representatives back into session immediately to reign in this out-of-control President.
January 3, 2026 at 4:51 PM
To do what, exactly? The House will be back on Tuesday. You, as in literally you as an individual member of the House all on your own, could force a privileged vote on impeachment (among a variety of other possible measures) and it would then get a vote no later than Thursday.
Reposted by Cristian Ramirez
The president unilaterally decided to attack a sovereign nation and kidnap its leader, and now he says he's just going to run that county himself for a while too.
Call your representatives now and demand they impeach him.
Call your representatives now and demand they impeach him.
Trump on Venezuela: "We're going to run the country until such time as we can do a safe, proper, and judicious transition"
January 3, 2026 at 4:51 PM
The president unilaterally decided to attack a sovereign nation and kidnap its leader, and now he says he's just going to run that county himself for a while too.
Call your representatives now and demand they impeach him.
Call your representatives now and demand they impeach him.
When you look any deeper at literally every political problem the US is experiencing now
January 3, 2026 at 3:12 PM
When you look any deeper at literally every political problem the US is experiencing now
It’s truly insane how much Donnie’s dad not loving him has fucked over the entire world
Trump on Democrats: "They should say 'great job.' They shouldn't say, 'Oh gee, maybe it's not constitutional.' You know, the same old stuff that we've been hearing for years and years and years."
January 3, 2026 at 2:52 PM
It’s truly insane how much Donnie’s dad not loving him has fucked over the entire world
Watching Trump do hawkish bullshit in an attempt to bolster his popularity is like watching the school bully try become cool by stepping into the dance circle at prom but then tripping over his own feet and shitting his pants
Americans believe that Trump's operations in Venezuela are unlawful
January 3, 2026 at 2:44 PM
Watching Trump do hawkish bullshit in an attempt to bolster his popularity is like watching the school bully try become cool by stepping into the dance circle at prom but then tripping over his own feet and shitting his pants
One thing I will not be doing is arguing with anyone trying to say that kidnapping a foreign president is ok. Save your energy, block and move on from any idiots like that.
January 3, 2026 at 2:18 PM
One thing I will not be doing is arguing with anyone trying to say that kidnapping a foreign president is ok. Save your energy, block and move on from any idiots like that.
Maybe the Trump administration just did a big oopsie because they have such a habit of kidnapping Latinos already
January 3, 2026 at 1:58 PM
Maybe the Trump administration just did a big oopsie because they have such a habit of kidnapping Latinos already
Reposted by Cristian Ramirez
I can't believe that the recipient of the FIFA Peace Prize would kidnap the president of a sovereign nation!
January 3, 2026 at 10:13 AM
I can't believe that the recipient of the FIFA Peace Prize would kidnap the president of a sovereign nation!
If you keep expressing your honest assessment, people are going to stop buying my “shit machine”, so cut it out for real guys!
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella says people should move beyond calling AI 'slop'
"We need to get beyond the arguments of slop vs sophistication and develop a new equilibrium ... that accounts for humans being equipped with these new cognitive amplifier tools as we relate to each other"
"We need to get beyond the arguments of slop vs sophistication and develop a new equilibrium ... that accounts for humans being equipped with these new cognitive amplifier tools as we relate to each other"
January 3, 2026 at 2:37 AM
If you keep expressing your honest assessment, people are going to stop buying my “shit machine”, so cut it out for real guys!
Reposted by Cristian Ramirez
Got a bunch of cool stuff to take a look at, including multiple blind bags and a Bonus Break! Today at 4pm Pacific!
www.youtube.com/live/zIzxt79...
www.youtube.com/live/zIzxt79...
Post-Holiday Mailbag! Blind Bags (Alex Pardee & Ultimate Extinction) Star Wars Autos, & a Break!
www.youtube.com
January 2, 2026 at 10:09 PM
Got a bunch of cool stuff to take a look at, including multiple blind bags and a Bonus Break! Today at 4pm Pacific!
www.youtube.com/live/zIzxt79...
www.youtube.com/live/zIzxt79...
Kinda seems like pretty good grounds for a class action lawsuit against the richest asshole alive
I've been tracking the spread of nonconsensual deepfakes on X for more than two years. Here's a timeline of how Musk's leadership allowed the practice to flourish from a once-underground market to a viral trend, with little recourse for victims or legal enforcement.
spitfirenews.com/p/grok-csam-...
spitfirenews.com/p/grok-csam-...
How Grok's sexual abuse hit a tipping point
Nonconsensual deepfakes on X are nothing new, but now it's built into the platform.
spitfirenews.com
January 2, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Kinda seems like pretty good grounds for a class action lawsuit against the richest asshole alive
Alien Earth is the best thing in the Alien franchise this century. Super stoked for season 2
Timothy Olyphant is an amazing addition to the history of weird little freak androids in Alien
This weenie little Zuckerberg stand in better have a satisfying death scene
January 2, 2026 at 8:42 PM
Alien Earth is the best thing in the Alien franchise this century. Super stoked for season 2
Timothy Olyphant is an amazing addition to the history of weird little freak androids in Alien
This weenie little Zuckerberg stand in better have a satisfying death scene
Eyeball monster was an excellent addition for Alien Earth
January 2, 2026 at 6:57 PM
Timothy Olyphant is an amazing addition to the history of weird little freak androids in Alien
Reposted by Cristian Ramirez
call me crazy but it really feels like “World’s Richest Man Creates AI Chatbot That Generates Child Porn” would’ve been a huge international outrage requiring a governmental crackdown not even 24 months ago
January 2, 2026 at 7:06 AM
call me crazy but it really feels like “World’s Richest Man Creates AI Chatbot That Generates Child Porn” would’ve been a huge international outrage requiring a governmental crackdown not even 24 months ago
Reposted by Cristian Ramirez
This weenie little Zuckerberg stand in better have a satisfying death scene
Eyeball monster was an excellent addition for Alien Earth
It’s lowkey crazy that Ridley Scott just decided that even spaceships were gonna be wet as hell, and then other sci-fi directors just agreed because Alien was successful
January 2, 2026 at 5:50 PM
This weenie little Zuckerberg stand in better have a satisfying death scene
January 2, 2026 at 5:57 AM
Eyeball monster was an excellent addition for Alien Earth
It’s lowkey crazy that Ridley Scott just decided that even spaceships were gonna be wet as hell, and then other sci-fi directors just agreed because Alien was successful
You know it’s not Alien if you don’t get plenty of closeups of wet-ass eggs
January 2, 2026 at 3:22 AM
Eyeball monster was an excellent addition for Alien Earth
Reposted by Cristian Ramirez
Working on some 🔥 new material for my second special and third album, until then get caught up on the lore
If you like my posts you might also like my standup! If you wanna hear the first album I ever dropped, a ✨gender reveal standup mixtape✨ called Kaiconic, it's on Bandcamp for $10 OR you can get this limited ⏳ New Year PWYW spesh: Venmo $1+ to kaichoyce w/ your email in the memo & I'll send it to you
January 1, 2026 at 6:13 PM
Working on some 🔥 new material for my second special and third album, until then get caught up on the lore