Chris Delauder
@beaglebets.bsky.social
Dogs, curling, code. Owned by a beagle.
Reposted by Chris Delauder
Hal hadn’t survived three Thanksgivings by being stupid.
November 21, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Hal hadn’t survived three Thanksgivings by being stupid.
doing sprint planning at work and i didn't raise my hand when they asked if anyone would be out this sprint and this was the response of a coworker:
November 21, 2025 at 4:37 PM
doing sprint planning at work and i didn't raise my hand when they asked if anyone would be out this sprint and this was the response of a coworker:
i might now, thanks @jcsalterego.bsky.social
November 21, 2025 at 3:44 AM
i might now, thanks @jcsalterego.bsky.social
owls are such weird dudes
November 19, 2025 at 8:55 PM
owls are such weird dudes
this is EVIL
"Malort advent calendar" is already such an unhinged concept but every little window just having Malort in it really pushes it over the edge into something transcendently funny
November 15, 2025 at 1:53 AM
this is EVIL
Reposted by Chris Delauder
The amazing thing about this admin is the corruption is so literal and so overt — in many cases, it’s just a direct transfer of taxpayer dollars to themselves and other b-villains from the show, like this is all completely normal, bc they can’t be bothered to extort corporations & interest groups
November 14, 2025 at 7:39 PM
The amazing thing about this admin is the corruption is so literal and so overt — in many cases, it’s just a direct transfer of taxpayer dollars to themselves and other b-villains from the show, like this is all completely normal, bc they can’t be bothered to extort corporations & interest groups
exploding whale day is a great name for the release of a trove of epstein emails
November 12, 2025 at 7:27 PM
exploding whale day is a great name for the release of a trove of epstein emails
intense beagle dreams
November 10, 2025 at 10:36 PM
intense beagle dreams
support your local food bank. if you're local, i know these folks do good work. i walked past one of their distribution locations everyday back in 2020.
November 8, 2025 at 4:36 AM
support your local food bank. if you're local, i know these folks do good work. i walked past one of their distribution locations everyday back in 2020.
Reposted by Chris Delauder
The Hurl of Sandwich.
The defendant walked free, with a rye smile on his face.
Despite grilling him, the prosecution was unable to summon the special sauce needed to get a conviction. Their case was toast from the beginning.
And thus a hero was born.
I'm sorry. I'm trying to delete this
The defendant walked free, with a rye smile on his face.
Despite grilling him, the prosecution was unable to summon the special sauce needed to get a conviction. Their case was toast from the beginning.
And thus a hero was born.
I'm sorry. I'm trying to delete this
BREAKING: JUSTICE DEPARTMENT EATS A LOSS IN 'SANDWICH GUY' CASE AS JURORS FIND DEFENDANT NOT GUILTY www.nbcnews.com/politics/jus...
Jury acquits D.C. 'sandwich guy' charged with chucking a sub at a federal agent
Sean Dunn faced single misdemeanor offense after federal grand jurors refused to indict him on the felony charge sought by prosecutors.
www.nbcnews.com
November 6, 2025 at 7:53 PM
The Hurl of Sandwich.
The defendant walked free, with a rye smile on his face.
Despite grilling him, the prosecution was unable to summon the special sauce needed to get a conviction. Their case was toast from the beginning.
And thus a hero was born.
I'm sorry. I'm trying to delete this
The defendant walked free, with a rye smile on his face.
Despite grilling him, the prosecution was unable to summon the special sauce needed to get a conviction. Their case was toast from the beginning.
And thus a hero was born.
I'm sorry. I'm trying to delete this
tfw the meds kick in
November 5, 2025 at 6:41 PM
tfw the meds kick in
Reposted by Chris Delauder
WHOA.
This has nothing to do with the ACA...at least not directly (employer coverage will see an indirect impact from the fuckery with the ACA & Medicaid, but I wasn't expecting that to really hit for another year).
This has nothing to do with the ACA...at least not directly (employer coverage will see an indirect impact from the fuckery with the ACA & Medicaid, but I wasn't expecting that to really hit for another year).
@charlesgaba.com Well, I got a packet from BCBSTX today letting me know that my (employer-subsidized) Blue Advantage Plus Gold 203 plan that costs $1018.96/mth this year will cost $1664.62/mth in 2026. That is not a marketplace plan. That coverage is only for me, no dependents.
November 1, 2025 at 9:46 PM
WHOA.
This has nothing to do with the ACA...at least not directly (employer coverage will see an indirect impact from the fuckery with the ACA & Medicaid, but I wasn't expecting that to really hit for another year).
This has nothing to do with the ACA...at least not directly (employer coverage will see an indirect impact from the fuckery with the ACA & Medicaid, but I wasn't expecting that to really hit for another year).
it's gonna look really bad when they shoot munitions at a mf in a mitre
Chicago Auxiliary Bishop José María Garcia-Maldonado at ICE detention facility: “Being here is an act of holiness…soon we will seek access to the facility to bring the Eucharist to our brothers and sisters; if they say no again, we will keep praying.”
November 1, 2025 at 7:54 PM
it's gonna look really bad when they shoot munitions at a mf in a mitre
I had to a buy a bunch of stuff at the dog store recently and I asked the cashier to not even tell me my total and when she finished ringing me up she said "and your total is none of your business" and the looks she got from the other cashiers were priceless
Cashier: do you want your receipt
Brain: *flips coin*
Brain: *flips coin*
October 30, 2025 at 10:58 PM
I had to a buy a bunch of stuff at the dog store recently and I asked the cashier to not even tell me my total and when she finished ringing me up she said "and your total is none of your business" and the looks she got from the other cashiers were priceless
Reposted by Chris Delauder
Someone has put together a VERY thorough list of resources for people in the Portland area who need food. For those who have enough to share, please consider putting your time and/or money somewhere. For those who need help, here are places to get it.
docs.google.com/document/d/1...
docs.google.com/document/d/1...
Food Resource List - PDX
Food Resources PDX Share this sheet to amplify these existing resources to support individuals & families in accessing food during this government shutdown. A delay in SNAP means over 750,000 families...
docs.google.com
October 30, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Someone has put together a VERY thorough list of resources for people in the Portland area who need food. For those who have enough to share, please consider putting your time and/or money somewhere. For those who need help, here are places to get it.
docs.google.com/document/d/1...
docs.google.com/document/d/1...
Reposted by Chris Delauder
The Dodgers told me Yesavage keeps striking out their batters so I asked how many batters they have and they said they just go to the dugout and get a new batter afterwards so I said it sounds like they're just feeding batters to Yesavage and then Jason Bateman started crying.
October 30, 2025 at 2:36 AM
The Dodgers told me Yesavage keeps striking out their batters so I asked how many batters they have and they said they just go to the dugout and get a new batter afterwards so I said it sounds like they're just feeding batters to Yesavage and then Jason Bateman started crying.
I don't know about the rest of these places but you will not be disappointed supporting Mama Chow's during this time
Hunger is a policy choice. Trump is choosing to let SNAP funding dry up on November 1, forcing kids to go hungry.
When our government fails, our community steps up. I'm grateful for these restaurants pledging to feed our neighbors who lose SNAP benefits.
When our government fails, our community steps up. I'm grateful for these restaurants pledging to feed our neighbors who lose SNAP benefits.
Here are 9 Portland-area coffee shops and restaurants that have pledged to feed people who lose SNAP benefits
Here are four restaurants that are doing what they can feed people in the community.
www.oregonlive.com
October 29, 2025 at 3:33 PM
I don't know about the rest of these places but you will not be disappointed supporting Mama Chow's during this time
Reposted by Chris Delauder
English (US) Phrasebook - Lesson 1: Emergencies
1) Help me!
2) I need to go to the hospital!
3) My hand is stuck in my hamburger!
4) Someone fired a nail gun through my hamburger bun when my hand was on top of the patty!
5) I was feeling the meat inside my sandwich when something terrible occurred!
1) Help me!
2) I need to go to the hospital!
3) My hand is stuck in my hamburger!
4) Someone fired a nail gun through my hamburger bun when my hand was on top of the patty!
5) I was feeling the meat inside my sandwich when something terrible occurred!
October 28, 2025 at 5:35 AM
English (US) Phrasebook - Lesson 1: Emergencies
1) Help me!
2) I need to go to the hospital!
3) My hand is stuck in my hamburger!
4) Someone fired a nail gun through my hamburger bun when my hand was on top of the patty!
5) I was feeling the meat inside my sandwich when something terrible occurred!
1) Help me!
2) I need to go to the hospital!
3) My hand is stuck in my hamburger!
4) Someone fired a nail gun through my hamburger bun when my hand was on top of the patty!
5) I was feeling the meat inside my sandwich when something terrible occurred!
damn, even ohio doesn't want to be associated with florida
October 27, 2025 at 9:37 PM
damn, even ohio doesn't want to be associated with florida
😹
Here's a photo of my friend and colleague, Jorge Bautista, getting shot in the face with a flashbang grenade. The ICE Agent is so afraid of Jorge (who was posing no threat) that he has wet himself. Please share this photo. Everyone needs to know what cowards ICE agents are.
October 25, 2025 at 8:37 PM
😹
This is a great thread
when I visited korea last year I went to haeinsa temple to see the tripitaka koreana, a set of 80k+ wooden printing blocks for buddhist scriptures, made in the 13th century en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tripita...
Tripitaka Koreana - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
October 25, 2025 at 8:31 PM
This is a great thread
Reposted by Chris Delauder
lmaooo
the german company that made the ladder and funicular used in the french jewel heist put out an ADVERTISEMENT that says
"when you once again need to move fast"
the "once again" part is killing me
the german company that made the ladder and funicular used in the french jewel heist put out an ADVERTISEMENT that says
"when you once again need to move fast"
the "once again" part is killing me
October 23, 2025 at 9:05 PM
lmaooo
the german company that made the ladder and funicular used in the french jewel heist put out an ADVERTISEMENT that says
"when you once again need to move fast"
the "once again" part is killing me
the german company that made the ladder and funicular used in the french jewel heist put out an ADVERTISEMENT that says
"when you once again need to move fast"
the "once again" part is killing me
Reposted by Chris Delauder
I have been traveling and today I present to you...the thing I saw in the Frankfurt airport.
Is it efficient? Undeniably. Does it probably work better than the normal way? Oh certainly. Produce less of a mess? Probably?
But the existence of Condiment Udders gives me a deep, aghast disquiet.
Is it efficient? Undeniably. Does it probably work better than the normal way? Oh certainly. Produce less of a mess? Probably?
But the existence of Condiment Udders gives me a deep, aghast disquiet.
October 22, 2025 at 2:26 PM
I have been traveling and today I present to you...the thing I saw in the Frankfurt airport.
Is it efficient? Undeniably. Does it probably work better than the normal way? Oh certainly. Produce less of a mess? Probably?
But the existence of Condiment Udders gives me a deep, aghast disquiet.
Is it efficient? Undeniably. Does it probably work better than the normal way? Oh certainly. Produce less of a mess? Probably?
But the existence of Condiment Udders gives me a deep, aghast disquiet.
Reposted by Chris Delauder
Maine character syndrome
October 21, 2025 at 2:44 PM
Maine character syndrome