Alaina Patterson
@willbefunorelse.bsky.social
Geriatric millenial, bird app survivor, and Cat Donaghy's mom.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
the NYTimes published the content of two check boxes Mamdani put on an application for a college he didn’t attend
The emails that you’re seeing now are news in themselves, but that’s because of how they’re coming out—a congressional committee released them—& the context in which they’re being viewed. A guy emailing a reporter talking about old girlfriends or saying someone is “dirty” is not a whole news story.
November 13, 2025 at 4:58 PM
the NYTimes published the content of two check boxes Mamdani put on an application for a college he didn’t attend
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
I’m fine conceding that a bunch of nebulously incriminating Epstein statements do not a story make, but in that case neither does the Biden Parkinson’s nonsense, or literally any component of the various Clinton/Wikileaks pseudo-scandals, or tons of other right-wing stuff the paper has laundered
November 13, 2025 at 5:36 PM
I’m fine conceding that a bunch of nebulously incriminating Epstein statements do not a story make, but in that case neither does the Biden Parkinson’s nonsense, or literally any component of the various Clinton/Wikileaks pseudo-scandals, or tons of other right-wing stuff the paper has laundered
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
i’ve said this before and i remain convinced it’s true, the 2028 platform that would deliver obama 08 results is “i am gonna
bring the hammer down on the corrupt self-dealing politicians and their rich friends and there are no sacred cows id give a pass”
bring the hammer down on the corrupt self-dealing politicians and their rich friends and there are no sacred cows id give a pass”
November 13, 2025 at 2:07 PM
i’ve said this before and i remain convinced it’s true, the 2028 platform that would deliver obama 08 results is “i am gonna
bring the hammer down on the corrupt self-dealing politicians and their rich friends and there are no sacred cows id give a pass”
bring the hammer down on the corrupt self-dealing politicians and their rich friends and there are no sacred cows id give a pass”
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
lots of countries and societies have in fact dished out Severe Consequences to fabulously rich and powerful people. the U.S. can do it too.
November 13, 2025 at 4:40 PM
lots of countries and societies have in fact dished out Severe Consequences to fabulously rich and powerful people. the U.S. can do it too.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
this country will not be healed until genuinely rich and powerful people start experiencing genuinely severe consequences for their evil actions. these people will only respond to force.
And no, don’t tell me it’s somehow impossible - the U.S. is by no means exceptional in this regard, either.
And no, don’t tell me it’s somehow impossible - the U.S. is by no means exceptional in this regard, either.
November 13, 2025 at 4:40 PM
this country will not be healed until genuinely rich and powerful people start experiencing genuinely severe consequences for their evil actions. these people will only respond to force.
And no, don’t tell me it’s somehow impossible - the U.S. is by no means exceptional in this regard, either.
And no, don’t tell me it’s somehow impossible - the U.S. is by no means exceptional in this regard, either.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
November 12, 2025 at 8:19 PM
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
ADDING TO THE BIG PANTS DAY LIST:
1-A: Get an old silver filling replaced and hey, the dentist can do that right now instead of scheduling it out for a later date
1-A: Get an old silver filling replaced and hey, the dentist can do that right now instead of scheduling it out for a later date
Today is Big Pants Day of my vacation: the day I put my Big Pants on and do all the things I've been procrastinating:
1) Dentist*
2) Confirm date of pellet stove replacement**
3) Order a new toilet and schedule its replacement**(
4) Open an account at a local credit union****
1) Dentist*
2) Confirm date of pellet stove replacement**
3) Order a new toilet and schedule its replacement**(
4) Open an account at a local credit union****
November 12, 2025 at 1:59 PM
ADDING TO THE BIG PANTS DAY LIST:
1-A: Get an old silver filling replaced and hey, the dentist can do that right now instead of scheduling it out for a later date
1-A: Get an old silver filling replaced and hey, the dentist can do that right now instead of scheduling it out for a later date
Okay but for real, this post reminded me that I want to find a place near me where I can rent a bow and arrow and get better at archery
Archery and blacksmithing are true panty-droppers, which men would know if they spent less time trying to seize rings of power
Archery and blacksmithing should be higher. The researchers clearly did not poll women who like LOTR.
November 12, 2025 at 1:28 PM
Okay but for real, this post reminded me that I want to find a place near me where I can rent a bow and arrow and get better at archery
🏆 I Said A Thing No One Has Ever Said In 11 Years of a Dental Hygenist's Career:
H: [sprays water near a tooth that's been bothering me]
Me: Ouch!
H: ooh, which tooth was it?
Me: [thinks, then]
Me: ... ... Do it again.
H: [sprays water near a tooth that's been bothering me]
Me: Ouch!
H: ooh, which tooth was it?
Me: [thinks, then]
Me: ... ... Do it again.
The Dentist's office is playing Everybody Hurts by REM and guys, i absolutely believe in signs
Today is Big Pants Day of my vacation: the day I put my Big Pants on and do all the things I've been procrastinating:
1) Dentist*
2) Confirm date of pellet stove replacement**
3) Order a new toilet and schedule its replacement**(
4) Open an account at a local credit union****
1) Dentist*
2) Confirm date of pellet stove replacement**
3) Order a new toilet and schedule its replacement**(
4) Open an account at a local credit union****
November 12, 2025 at 1:27 PM
🏆 I Said A Thing No One Has Ever Said In 11 Years of a Dental Hygenist's Career:
H: [sprays water near a tooth that's been bothering me]
Me: Ouch!
H: ooh, which tooth was it?
Me: [thinks, then]
Me: ... ... Do it again.
H: [sprays water near a tooth that's been bothering me]
Me: Ouch!
H: ooh, which tooth was it?
Me: [thinks, then]
Me: ... ... Do it again.
The Dentist's office is playing Everybody Hurts by REM and guys, i absolutely believe in signs
Today is Big Pants Day of my vacation: the day I put my Big Pants on and do all the things I've been procrastinating:
1) Dentist*
2) Confirm date of pellet stove replacement**
3) Order a new toilet and schedule its replacement**(
4) Open an account at a local credit union****
1) Dentist*
2) Confirm date of pellet stove replacement**
3) Order a new toilet and schedule its replacement**(
4) Open an account at a local credit union****
November 12, 2025 at 12:57 PM
The Dentist's office is playing Everybody Hurts by REM and guys, i absolutely believe in signs
Today is Big Pants Day of my vacation: the day I put my Big Pants on and do all the things I've been procrastinating:
1) Dentist*
2) Confirm date of pellet stove replacement**
3) Order a new toilet and schedule its replacement**(
4) Open an account at a local credit union****
1) Dentist*
2) Confirm date of pellet stove replacement**
3) Order a new toilet and schedule its replacement**(
4) Open an account at a local credit union****
November 12, 2025 at 12:29 PM
Today is Big Pants Day of my vacation: the day I put my Big Pants on and do all the things I've been procrastinating:
1) Dentist*
2) Confirm date of pellet stove replacement**
3) Order a new toilet and schedule its replacement**(
4) Open an account at a local credit union****
1) Dentist*
2) Confirm date of pellet stove replacement**
3) Order a new toilet and schedule its replacement**(
4) Open an account at a local credit union****
November 12, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
The perfect New England holiday item doesn't exi–
November 11, 2025 at 10:55 PM
The perfect New England holiday item doesn't exi–
The longer I sit in this IKEA the more ideas I get, and I'm just the right kind of idiot to buy the cart to hold the tubs of paint supplies for the dining room.
November 11, 2025 at 6:11 PM
The longer I sit in this IKEA the more ideas I get, and I'm just the right kind of idiot to buy the cart to hold the tubs of paint supplies for the dining room.
It's NEVER been a thing!!
Wait why does anything think anyone cares suddenly about continuity between different Bonds? It's never been a thing. Never. If it happened it was cute, but fuck sakes, this hasn't been an issue for over 50 yrs, ya doodledinks.
November 11, 2025 at 6:04 PM
It's NEVER been a thing!!
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Wait why does anything think anyone cares suddenly about continuity between different Bonds? It's never been a thing. Never. If it happened it was cute, but fuck sakes, this hasn't been an issue for over 50 yrs, ya doodledinks.
November 11, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Wait why does anything think anyone cares suddenly about continuity between different Bonds? It's never been a thing. Never. If it happened it was cute, but fuck sakes, this hasn't been an issue for over 50 yrs, ya doodledinks.
Film NEEDS to move away from mystery boxes and "everything must be explained and also connected," and I blame JJ Abrams and the MCU for this mentality.
Just start over! To quote another dastardly legal mind, "What, like it's hard?"
Just start over! To quote another dastardly legal mind, "What, like it's hard?"
James Bond’s death in No Time to Die is causing a nightmare for the next film. Writers are stuck because Bond “was blown to pieces.”
Anthony Horowitz, author of three 007 novels, says:
“You can't have him wake up in shower and saying it was all a dream."
radaronline.com/p/james-bond...
Anthony Horowitz, author of three 007 novels, says:
“You can't have him wake up in shower and saying it was all a dream."
radaronline.com/p/james-bond...
November 11, 2025 at 12:10 PM
Film NEEDS to move away from mystery boxes and "everything must be explained and also connected," and I blame JJ Abrams and the MCU for this mentality.
Just start over! To quote another dastardly legal mind, "What, like it's hard?"
Just start over! To quote another dastardly legal mind, "What, like it's hard?"
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Well there’s no need to have a stronk about it – just have him step unscathed out of a bondulance or something
James Bond’s death in No Time to Die is causing a nightmare for the next film. Writers are stuck because Bond “was blown to pieces.”
Anthony Horowitz, author of three 007 novels, says:
“You can't have him wake up in shower and saying it was all a dream."
radaronline.com/p/james-bond...
Anthony Horowitz, author of three 007 novels, says:
“You can't have him wake up in shower and saying it was all a dream."
radaronline.com/p/james-bond...
November 11, 2025 at 11:12 AM
Well there’s no need to have a stronk about it – just have him step unscathed out of a bondulance or something
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
I have to hand it to them, it's an incredible bit to publicly lose a game of chicken, admit that's what happened, and then spend the next day lecturing everyone about courage and tenacity
November 11, 2025 at 2:05 AM
I have to hand it to them, it's an incredible bit to publicly lose a game of chicken, admit that's what happened, and then spend the next day lecturing everyone about courage and tenacity
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Sure, it takes skill to deliver the most self-defeating sound byte imaginable on national TV mere moments after needlessly surrendering on the vital political conflict of our moment, but for the sound byte to be factually wrong as well? That's when you know you're in the presence of a true great
November 10, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Sure, it takes skill to deliver the most self-defeating sound byte imaginable on national TV mere moments after needlessly surrendering on the vital political conflict of our moment, but for the sound byte to be factually wrong as well? That's when you know you're in the presence of a true great
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
The Dem base wants the shutdown to continue because it’s the only time we’ve felt like our electeds were representing us: trying to squeeze the GOP instead of squeezing us to accept concessions; directing their anger at the Republicans instead of at their own voters for wanting them to resist
November 10, 2025 at 4:12 AM
The Dem base wants the shutdown to continue because it’s the only time we’ve felt like our electeds were representing us: trying to squeeze the GOP instead of squeezing us to accept concessions; directing their anger at the Republicans instead of at their own voters for wanting them to resist
Goddamn, today makes it hard to be a Mainer
One Senator is Always Concerned
The other Senator is an Independent who's scared of having a backbone
And my local progressives are still supporting The Guy With The Nazi Tattoo to replace the Concerned One.
Abolish the Senate is my modest position.
One Senator is Always Concerned
The other Senator is an Independent who's scared of having a backbone
And my local progressives are still supporting The Guy With The Nazi Tattoo to replace the Concerned One.
Abolish the Senate is my modest position.
November 10, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Goddamn, today makes it hard to be a Mainer
One Senator is Always Concerned
The other Senator is an Independent who's scared of having a backbone
And my local progressives are still supporting The Guy With The Nazi Tattoo to replace the Concerned One.
Abolish the Senate is my modest position.
One Senator is Always Concerned
The other Senator is an Independent who's scared of having a backbone
And my local progressives are still supporting The Guy With The Nazi Tattoo to replace the Concerned One.
Abolish the Senate is my modest position.
How would you fucking know? You didn't fucking TRY.
November 10, 2025 at 2:52 PM
How would you fucking know? You didn't fucking TRY.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…
November 10, 2025 at 2:45 AM
Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
