Alaina Patterson
@willbefunorelse.bsky.social
Geriatric millenial, bird app survivor, and Cat Donaghy's mom.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
I'm at the Target boycott, I'm at the Starbucks boycott, I'm at the combination Target boycott and Starbucks boycott
Beginning Monday, a Frozen Peppermint Hot Chocolate drink will be available exclusively at Starbucks cafés inside Target stores.
The chains are hoping the drink can drum up excitement from customers this holiday season.
🔗https://tinyurl.com/yrshv45s
The chains are hoping the drink can drum up excitement from customers this holiday season.
🔗https://tinyurl.com/yrshv45s
November 17, 2025 at 9:14 PM
I'm at the Target boycott, I'm at the Starbucks boycott, I'm at the combination Target boycott and Starbucks boycott
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
the real test of whether bluesky has the juice is whether we can whine rian johnson into muppets knives out
November 19, 2025 at 2:37 AM
the real test of whether bluesky has the juice is whether we can whine rian johnson into muppets knives out
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
pretty much
I have some non-negotiables (such as trans rights) but my number one issue in the next D primary is “will you actually fight back”
if any moderates are on the fight side of the fight/don’t fight axis now would be a good time to demonstrate it
I have some non-negotiables (such as trans rights) but my number one issue in the next D primary is “will you actually fight back”
if any moderates are on the fight side of the fight/don’t fight axis now would be a good time to demonstrate it
I would vote for a moderate if I thought they would end the filibuster, pack the court, and use every lever available to them to keep the GOP out of power. if the leftists are the ones promising that, I'll vote for them instead.
November 18, 2025 at 4:08 PM
pretty much
I have some non-negotiables (such as trans rights) but my number one issue in the next D primary is “will you actually fight back”
if any moderates are on the fight side of the fight/don’t fight axis now would be a good time to demonstrate it
I have some non-negotiables (such as trans rights) but my number one issue in the next D primary is “will you actually fight back”
if any moderates are on the fight side of the fight/don’t fight axis now would be a good time to demonstrate it
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
I don’t want to hear about norms, I don’t want to hear about looking forward not back, I don’t want to hear about “bipartisanship”
I want the filibuster gone, the court packed, new states, and a top to bottom cleaning of the federal government that ends with a lot of people in jail
I want the filibuster gone, the court packed, new states, and a top to bottom cleaning of the federal government that ends with a lot of people in jail
November 18, 2025 at 4:12 PM
I don’t want to hear about norms, I don’t want to hear about looking forward not back, I don’t want to hear about “bipartisanship”
I want the filibuster gone, the court packed, new states, and a top to bottom cleaning of the federal government that ends with a lot of people in jail
I want the filibuster gone, the court packed, new states, and a top to bottom cleaning of the federal government that ends with a lot of people in jail
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
stop reading memoirs and the new york times and start reading a goddamn novel in a field under the open sky you cretins
November 18, 2025 at 2:08 AM
stop reading memoirs and the new york times and start reading a goddamn novel in a field under the open sky you cretins
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
I'm just a girl
Standing in front of all the people posting their messages in attached photos
Asking you again to please include alt text in the photos so *everyone* can read them
Standing in front of all the people posting their messages in attached photos
Asking you again to please include alt text in the photos so *everyone* can read them
November 17, 2025 at 4:42 PM
I'm just a girl
Standing in front of all the people posting their messages in attached photos
Asking you again to please include alt text in the photos so *everyone* can read them
Standing in front of all the people posting their messages in attached photos
Asking you again to please include alt text in the photos so *everyone* can read them
Ah, yes - Cranberry Sauce a la Bart.
November 17, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Ah, yes - Cranberry Sauce a la Bart.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
nobody wants your fucking ai
November 17, 2025 at 5:40 PM
nobody wants your fucking ai
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
I agree that people who want to gamble should be forced to physically marinate in cigarette smoke and a lingering ambience of body odor and shame to do so
If gambling can’t be banned outright, it should be regulated so you can’t do it online. You should have to do it the old way, go to a dirty storefront in the worst part of town with all the other losers and hand over cash to an old guy with a layer of visible crust all over his skin.
November 16, 2025 at 12:21 AM
I agree that people who want to gamble should be forced to physically marinate in cigarette smoke and a lingering ambience of body odor and shame to do so
If I wasn't already ten toes down for The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, this lede would've done it.
November 15, 2025 at 6:54 PM
If I wasn't already ten toes down for The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, this lede would've done it.
Last night was the last rock show-slash-travel of 2025 for Alaina. It's been a very busy year in that regard:
- 1 new baseball stadium
- 1 new state I'd never visited before (WI)
- 9 rock shows (4 weren't Guster)
- Savanna Bananas @ Fenway
- Gatorland with my gator-obsessed sister (and Disney)
- 1 new baseball stadium
- 1 new state I'd never visited before (WI)
- 9 rock shows (4 weren't Guster)
- Savanna Bananas @ Fenway
- Gatorland with my gator-obsessed sister (and Disney)
November 15, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Last night was the last rock show-slash-travel of 2025 for Alaina. It's been a very busy year in that regard:
- 1 new baseball stadium
- 1 new state I'd never visited before (WI)
- 9 rock shows (4 weren't Guster)
- Savanna Bananas @ Fenway
- Gatorland with my gator-obsessed sister (and Disney)
- 1 new baseball stadium
- 1 new state I'd never visited before (WI)
- 9 rock shows (4 weren't Guster)
- Savanna Bananas @ Fenway
- Gatorland with my gator-obsessed sister (and Disney)
Red Rum Club(*) opened for The Wombats(**) tonight and they are awesome, I am looking them up when I get home
(*) An actual band from Liverpool
(**) Another actual band and tonight's headliner
(I see bands that aren't Guster, on occasion)
(*) An actual band from Liverpool
(**) Another actual band and tonight's headliner
(I see bands that aren't Guster, on occasion)
This is where I post from, if you even care
November 15, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Red Rum Club(*) opened for The Wombats(**) tonight and they are awesome, I am looking them up when I get home
(*) An actual band from Liverpool
(**) Another actual band and tonight's headliner
(I see bands that aren't Guster, on occasion)
(*) An actual band from Liverpool
(**) Another actual band and tonight's headliner
(I see bands that aren't Guster, on occasion)
This is where I post from, if you even care
November 15, 2025 at 1:11 AM
This is where I post from, if you even care
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Come for the sheep, stay for the alt text
THREAD. A collection of photographs of excellent sheep I have met on walks.
You will find the captions to each photo in the alt text.
You will find the captions to each photo in the alt text.
November 14, 2025 at 12:28 PM
Come for the sheep, stay for the alt text
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
"What if one of YOUR favorite politicians/celebrities/etc is on the list?" Did you all not notice how quickly we dropped Neil Gaiman when we found out about the things he did? Do you know how beloved that guy used to be and how loathed he is now? I think that right there should answer your question.
November 13, 2025 at 5:58 AM
"What if one of YOUR favorite politicians/celebrities/etc is on the list?" Did you all not notice how quickly we dropped Neil Gaiman when we found out about the things he did? Do you know how beloved that guy used to be and how loathed he is now? I think that right there should answer your question.
Does anyone else get a little bit mad when, after a workout(*), you do feel better than you did when you started said workout? Like, in a "how dare you actually do the thing advertised" kind of way? Just me? Okay.
November 14, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Does anyone else get a little bit mad when, after a workout(*), you do feel better than you did when you started said workout? Like, in a "how dare you actually do the thing advertised" kind of way? Just me? Okay.
Oh, two-weeks-ago Alaina... you poor, sweet summer child.
(To REALLY, EFFECTIVELY close the Loophole, there should be no differentiation between hemp and cannabis. It's the same fucking plant. Deschedule and decriminalize it, then regulate it.)
FUCK. There goes my nice, easy 2nd Session. 🙃
(To REALLY, EFFECTIVELY close the Loophole, there should be no differentiation between hemp and cannabis. It's the same fucking plant. Deschedule and decriminalize it, then regulate it.)
FUCK. There goes my nice, easy 2nd Session. 🙃
If the Farm Bill Loophole gets closed ... ... ...
(As someone whose job intersects in some ways with the air-quotes "regulated" cannabis industry in the state, closing that Loophole would create so much CHAOS and outrage in the ME Legislature that I'd have to deal with, but god, it'd be funny)
(As someone whose job intersects in some ways with the air-quotes "regulated" cannabis industry in the state, closing that Loophole would create so much CHAOS and outrage in the ME Legislature that I'd have to deal with, but god, it'd be funny)
November 13, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Oh, two-weeks-ago Alaina... you poor, sweet summer child.
(To REALLY, EFFECTIVELY close the Loophole, there should be no differentiation between hemp and cannabis. It's the same fucking plant. Deschedule and decriminalize it, then regulate it.)
FUCK. There goes my nice, easy 2nd Session. 🙃
(To REALLY, EFFECTIVELY close the Loophole, there should be no differentiation between hemp and cannabis. It's the same fucking plant. Deschedule and decriminalize it, then regulate it.)
FUCK. There goes my nice, easy 2nd Session. 🙃
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
the NYTimes published the content of two check boxes Mamdani put on an application for a college he didn’t attend
The emails that you’re seeing now are news in themselves, but that’s because of how they’re coming out—a congressional committee released them—& the context in which they’re being viewed. A guy emailing a reporter talking about old girlfriends or saying someone is “dirty” is not a whole news story.
November 13, 2025 at 4:58 PM
the NYTimes published the content of two check boxes Mamdani put on an application for a college he didn’t attend
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
I’m fine conceding that a bunch of nebulously incriminating Epstein statements do not a story make, but in that case neither does the Biden Parkinson’s nonsense, or literally any component of the various Clinton/Wikileaks pseudo-scandals, or tons of other right-wing stuff the paper has laundered
November 13, 2025 at 5:36 PM
I’m fine conceding that a bunch of nebulously incriminating Epstein statements do not a story make, but in that case neither does the Biden Parkinson’s nonsense, or literally any component of the various Clinton/Wikileaks pseudo-scandals, or tons of other right-wing stuff the paper has laundered
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
i’ve said this before and i remain convinced it’s true, the 2028 platform that would deliver obama 08 results is “i am gonna
bring the hammer down on the corrupt self-dealing politicians and their rich friends and there are no sacred cows id give a pass”
bring the hammer down on the corrupt self-dealing politicians and their rich friends and there are no sacred cows id give a pass”
November 13, 2025 at 2:07 PM
i’ve said this before and i remain convinced it’s true, the 2028 platform that would deliver obama 08 results is “i am gonna
bring the hammer down on the corrupt self-dealing politicians and their rich friends and there are no sacred cows id give a pass”
bring the hammer down on the corrupt self-dealing politicians and their rich friends and there are no sacred cows id give a pass”
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
lots of countries and societies have in fact dished out Severe Consequences to fabulously rich and powerful people. the U.S. can do it too.
November 13, 2025 at 4:40 PM
lots of countries and societies have in fact dished out Severe Consequences to fabulously rich and powerful people. the U.S. can do it too.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
this country will not be healed until genuinely rich and powerful people start experiencing genuinely severe consequences for their evil actions. these people will only respond to force.
And no, don’t tell me it’s somehow impossible - the U.S. is by no means exceptional in this regard, either.
And no, don’t tell me it’s somehow impossible - the U.S. is by no means exceptional in this regard, either.
November 13, 2025 at 4:40 PM
this country will not be healed until genuinely rich and powerful people start experiencing genuinely severe consequences for their evil actions. these people will only respond to force.
And no, don’t tell me it’s somehow impossible - the U.S. is by no means exceptional in this regard, either.
And no, don’t tell me it’s somehow impossible - the U.S. is by no means exceptional in this regard, either.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
November 12, 2025 at 8:19 PM
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
ADDING TO THE BIG PANTS DAY LIST:
1-A: Get an old silver filling replaced and hey, the dentist can do that right now instead of scheduling it out for a later date
1-A: Get an old silver filling replaced and hey, the dentist can do that right now instead of scheduling it out for a later date
Today is Big Pants Day of my vacation: the day I put my Big Pants on and do all the things I've been procrastinating:
1) Dentist*
2) Confirm date of pellet stove replacement**
3) Order a new toilet and schedule its replacement**(
4) Open an account at a local credit union****
1) Dentist*
2) Confirm date of pellet stove replacement**
3) Order a new toilet and schedule its replacement**(
4) Open an account at a local credit union****
November 12, 2025 at 1:59 PM
ADDING TO THE BIG PANTS DAY LIST:
1-A: Get an old silver filling replaced and hey, the dentist can do that right now instead of scheduling it out for a later date
1-A: Get an old silver filling replaced and hey, the dentist can do that right now instead of scheduling it out for a later date
Okay but for real, this post reminded me that I want to find a place near me where I can rent a bow and arrow and get better at archery
Archery and blacksmithing are true panty-droppers, which men would know if they spent less time trying to seize rings of power
Archery and blacksmithing should be higher. The researchers clearly did not poll women who like LOTR.
November 12, 2025 at 1:28 PM
Okay but for real, this post reminded me that I want to find a place near me where I can rent a bow and arrow and get better at archery