TuSoon Shakur
@tusoonshakur.bsky.social
East Side ATL. Fella.
Once turned Willem Dafoe into Willem Dafriend.
Once turned Willem Dafoe into Willem Dafriend.
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning
November 14, 2025 at 4:06 AM
getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
I was in downtown LA last night and witnessed someone honking furiously at a Waymo for not making a right on red and it felt like it really captured our moment.
November 10, 2025 at 6:42 AM
I was in downtown LA last night and witnessed someone honking furiously at a Waymo for not making a right on red and it felt like it really captured our moment.
[waiting the six seconds for my Keurig coffee to pour] cmon cmon cmon there has GOT to be a faster way
November 7, 2025 at 9:54 PM
[waiting the six seconds for my Keurig coffee to pour] cmon cmon cmon there has GOT to be a faster way
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
One scoop of mashed potatoes per person and DON'T WALK ON THE GRASS
October 31, 2025 at 11:33 PM
One scoop of mashed potatoes per person and DON'T WALK ON THE GRASS
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
Putin: "Mr Trump, tear down this house!"
October 22, 2025 at 5:51 AM
Putin: "Mr Trump, tear down this house!"
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
[alone in a dark cemetery] marco
September 23, 2023 at 9:25 PM
[alone in a dark cemetery] marco
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
Elton John voice:
It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit
It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit
September 18, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Elton John voice:
It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit
It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
I just totally destroyed some baby at a game of peekaboo. He was right to cry.
August 25, 2025 at 5:57 PM
I just totally destroyed some baby at a game of peekaboo. He was right to cry.
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
[wife wanting to discuss my mid life crisis] brent
[me with my graffiti buddies] actually it’s Sprayz now
[me with my graffiti buddies] actually it’s Sprayz now
August 3, 2025 at 4:38 PM
[wife wanting to discuss my mid life crisis] brent
[me with my graffiti buddies] actually it’s Sprayz now
[me with my graffiti buddies] actually it’s Sprayz now
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
Oh no I really hope Bill Clinton isn’t in the Epstein files, I’ll have to get rid of my Bill Clinton hat and my Bill Clinton sneakers and my Bill Clinton cologne and my Bill Clinton watch and take down my Bill Clinton flag and I’ll have to delete my Bill Clinton nft trading cards
July 24, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Oh no I really hope Bill Clinton isn’t in the Epstein files, I’ll have to get rid of my Bill Clinton hat and my Bill Clinton sneakers and my Bill Clinton cologne and my Bill Clinton watch and take down my Bill Clinton flag and I’ll have to delete my Bill Clinton nft trading cards
judge: the kid is not your son?
michael jackson: hoo
judge: the kid
michael jackson: hee hee
billie jean: you see the crap i put up with your honor
michael jackson: hoo
judge: the kid
michael jackson: hee hee
billie jean: you see the crap i put up with your honor
July 15, 2025 at 12:17 AM
judge: the kid is not your son?
michael jackson: hoo
judge: the kid
michael jackson: hee hee
billie jean: you see the crap i put up with your honor
michael jackson: hoo
judge: the kid
michael jackson: hee hee
billie jean: you see the crap i put up with your honor
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
Saw an AI fireworks show and a guy lost all 7 fingers on one hand.
July 4, 2024 at 11:04 PM
Saw an AI fireworks show and a guy lost all 7 fingers on one hand.
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
I try to sneak in quietly, but my father is waiting for me in the kitchen. He looks at my digging leathers. He can smell the tomb on me.
"You been doing archeology again, boy?" he asks.
I sneeze and sand sizzles across the table.
"You been doing archeology again, boy?" he asks.
I sneeze and sand sizzles across the table.
June 20, 2025 at 12:34 AM
I try to sneak in quietly, but my father is waiting for me in the kitchen. He looks at my digging leathers. He can smell the tomb on me.
"You been doing archeology again, boy?" he asks.
I sneeze and sand sizzles across the table.
"You been doing archeology again, boy?" he asks.
I sneeze and sand sizzles across the table.
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
IGUANA: see you later alligator
ALLIGATOR: (doesn’t know spanish) see you tomorrow iguana
ALLIGATOR: (doesn’t know spanish) see you tomorrow iguana
June 27, 2025 at 4:23 PM
IGUANA: see you later alligator
ALLIGATOR: (doesn’t know spanish) see you tomorrow iguana
ALLIGATOR: (doesn’t know spanish) see you tomorrow iguana
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
this is a sith lightsaber, from the war. I keep it on a shelf right next to my stormtrooper armor and imperial officer’s uniform. I’ve even got a verified chunk of the death star from yavin. I’m just a collector. I just think the history is interesting. no, I don’t have any rebel stuff
June 19, 2025 at 3:59 AM
this is a sith lightsaber, from the war. I keep it on a shelf right next to my stormtrooper armor and imperial officer’s uniform. I’ve even got a verified chunk of the death star from yavin. I’m just a collector. I just think the history is interesting. no, I don’t have any rebel stuff
Shark Dad: what's this $250 charge for *squinting* OnlyFins?
Shark Teen: *shrugging shoulders* i dunno
Shark Dad: where'd you get shoulders?
Shark Teen: *shrugging shoulders* i dunno
Shark Dad: where'd you get shoulders?
June 17, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Shark Dad: what's this $250 charge for *squinting* OnlyFins?
Shark Teen: *shrugging shoulders* i dunno
Shark Dad: where'd you get shoulders?
Shark Teen: *shrugging shoulders* i dunno
Shark Dad: where'd you get shoulders?
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
Just walkmogged some waitcucks at a traffic light’s pedestrian crossing. Enjoy the cold, dears - I’ll be over here, fifteen steps ahead of you and in touch with my city’s heartbeat
June 13, 2025 at 8:57 AM
Just walkmogged some waitcucks at a traffic light’s pedestrian crossing. Enjoy the cold, dears - I’ll be over here, fifteen steps ahead of you and in touch with my city’s heartbeat
Ah, vacation! That magical week when my kids watch TV in a rented house instead of our normal, mortgaged house.
June 7, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Ah, vacation! That magical week when my kids watch TV in a rented house instead of our normal, mortgaged house.
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
“And so the Greeks send me this horse, we’re talking about one of the most beautiful horses you’ve ever seen. So big. So strong. Normally they keep this kind of horse for themselves but they were such big fans they said sir, please take our big wonderful horse we’ll even bring it to your house”
May 12, 2025 at 12:03 PM
“And so the Greeks send me this horse, we’re talking about one of the most beautiful horses you’ve ever seen. So big. So strong. Normally they keep this kind of horse for themselves but they were such big fans they said sir, please take our big wonderful horse we’ll even bring it to your house”
Inherited grandpa’s lucky horseshoe autographed by Secretariat and now Antiques Road Show is telling me its a fake
May 4, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Inherited grandpa’s lucky horseshoe autographed by Secretariat and now Antiques Road Show is telling me its a fake
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
I could be wrong about this but I really think most Americans do not want to be forced to “do their own research” about food & drug & product safety and would rather that the government agencies that have been sorting that all out for them for decades not be obliterated in the name of “efficiency.”
April 30, 2025 at 2:31 PM
I could be wrong about this but I really think most Americans do not want to be forced to “do their own research” about food & drug & product safety and would rather that the government agencies that have been sorting that all out for them for decades not be obliterated in the name of “efficiency.”
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
If you’re too young to remember 9/11, one of the things about the subsequent 3-4 years if if you lived by The World’s Biggest Fork, people would be like “we need to be careful, that fork could be a target, terrorists hate our fork”
April 30, 2025 at 12:29 PM
If you’re too young to remember 9/11, one of the things about the subsequent 3-4 years if if you lived by The World’s Biggest Fork, people would be like “we need to be careful, that fork could be a target, terrorists hate our fork”
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
Boycotting the grocery store until they start buying an equivalent volume of groceries from me
April 7, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Boycotting the grocery store until they start buying an equivalent volume of groceries from me
me: [alone in the middle of alaska] ahhh, I can finally poop in peace
my kid: [appearing out of thin air] dad can we still buy chicken nuggets cause of tariffs
my kid: [appearing out of thin air] dad can we still buy chicken nuggets cause of tariffs
April 3, 2025 at 11:16 AM
me: [alone in the middle of alaska] ahhh, I can finally poop in peace
my kid: [appearing out of thin air] dad can we still buy chicken nuggets cause of tariffs
my kid: [appearing out of thin air] dad can we still buy chicken nuggets cause of tariffs
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
Lennon song: Show me the source of the leak, that drips and turns honest men weak
McCartney song: Terry the plumber is an honest man, he’ll fix your pipes as fast as he can [tempo change] it’s PIIIIIPE TIIIIIME [key signature change, tempo change] helovespipeshelovespipes
McCartney song: Terry the plumber is an honest man, he’ll fix your pipes as fast as he can [tempo change] it’s PIIIIIPE TIIIIIME [key signature change, tempo change] helovespipeshelovespipes
October 3, 2024 at 6:01 PM
Lennon song: Show me the source of the leak, that drips and turns honest men weak
McCartney song: Terry the plumber is an honest man, he’ll fix your pipes as fast as he can [tempo change] it’s PIIIIIPE TIIIIIME [key signature change, tempo change] helovespipeshelovespipes
McCartney song: Terry the plumber is an honest man, he’ll fix your pipes as fast as he can [tempo change] it’s PIIIIIPE TIIIIIME [key signature change, tempo change] helovespipeshelovespipes