TuSoon Shakur
@tusoonshakur.bsky.social
East Side ATL. CLS. Fella.
Once turned Willem Dafoe into Willem Dafriend.
Once turned Willem Dafoe into Willem Dafriend.
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs
January 8, 2026 at 2:18 PM
i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs
Boxes of holiday chocolates be like: CARE FOR A FUCKTON OF ORANGE MARMALADE TRUFFLES?
And I’m like: do you have any chocolate ganache and toasted almond truffles please?
And then they’re all like: HAHA NO BUT HERE’S A SHITLOAD OF FRUITCAKE CHEWS FUCK YOU
And I’m like: do you have any chocolate ganache and toasted almond truffles please?
And then they’re all like: HAHA NO BUT HERE’S A SHITLOAD OF FRUITCAKE CHEWS FUCK YOU
January 4, 2026 at 9:37 PM
Boxes of holiday chocolates be like: CARE FOR A FUCKTON OF ORANGE MARMALADE TRUFFLES?
And I’m like: do you have any chocolate ganache and toasted almond truffles please?
And then they’re all like: HAHA NO BUT HERE’S A SHITLOAD OF FRUITCAKE CHEWS FUCK YOU
And I’m like: do you have any chocolate ganache and toasted almond truffles please?
And then they’re all like: HAHA NO BUT HERE’S A SHITLOAD OF FRUITCAKE CHEWS FUCK YOU
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
yesterday i was blessed to see something wonderful: a teenage boy, 16 at most, had his fake ID rejected right in front of me. then, just when i thought it couldn’t get any better, a SECOND teenage boy came in, obviously with the first but thinking no one could tell, to have HIS fake ID rejected
January 4, 2026 at 2:41 PM
yesterday i was blessed to see something wonderful: a teenage boy, 16 at most, had his fake ID rejected right in front of me. then, just when i thought it couldn’t get any better, a SECOND teenage boy came in, obviously with the first but thinking no one could tell, to have HIS fake ID rejected
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
Well, it was either all this or another black person in a Star Wars movie
January 3, 2026 at 5:01 PM
Well, it was either all this or another black person in a Star Wars movie
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
this image is maybe the single greatest joke in TRADING PLACES. and also a pretty apt description of the trump/vance/national conservative vision of america
December 24, 2025 at 1:29 AM
this image is maybe the single greatest joke in TRADING PLACES. and also a pretty apt description of the trump/vance/national conservative vision of america
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
Do other countries have this weird notion that you’re not a “real” representative of the nation if you live in an urban center? Like do the French say Parisians aren’t really French? Are you considered not a real German if you live in Berlin? Or is this mainly a weird American thing?
January 1, 2026 at 4:19 PM
Do other countries have this weird notion that you’re not a “real” representative of the nation if you live in an urban center? Like do the French say Parisians aren’t really French? Are you considered not a real German if you live in Berlin? Or is this mainly a weird American thing?
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
painting of ET getting pelted with pinecones i did a few years ago
December 28, 2025 at 10:19 PM
painting of ET getting pelted with pinecones i did a few years ago
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, was present at the end of the universe, having witnessed every black hole evaporate and every proton decay. Even so, Death would not come.
December 24, 2025 at 1:32 AM
And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, was present at the end of the universe, having witnessed every black hole evaporate and every proton decay. Even so, Death would not come.
TWO WIPES: it was the best of times
TEN WIPES: it was the worst of times
~ A Tale of Two Shitties
TEN WIPES: it was the worst of times
~ A Tale of Two Shitties
December 20, 2025 at 8:22 PM
TWO WIPES: it was the best of times
TEN WIPES: it was the worst of times
~ A Tale of Two Shitties
TEN WIPES: it was the worst of times
~ A Tale of Two Shitties
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
If you’ve left your shopping until now, and you are in the market for men’s size small, let me assure you you’re good.
December 18, 2025 at 4:15 AM
If you’ve left your shopping until now, and you are in the market for men’s size small, let me assure you you’re good.
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
this is not behavior becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.
December 15, 2025 at 8:18 PM
this is not behavior becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.
All the fellas down at the swimmin' hole would suck in their guts when ole frog-chuckin' Ameline sauntered into the shallows, skin all aglow. "Ooh, there she goes," they would whisper amongst themselves. "There goes ole frog-chuckin' Ameline with her skin all aglow."
December 10, 2025 at 2:12 AM
All the fellas down at the swimmin' hole would suck in their guts when ole frog-chuckin' Ameline sauntered into the shallows, skin all aglow. "Ooh, there she goes," they would whisper amongst themselves. "There goes ole frog-chuckin' Ameline with her skin all aglow."
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
Give your little kid a thrill. Show him the secret robot sleeping in your basement. Then make him a schedule and have him change its air filter every three months.
December 9, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Give your little kid a thrill. Show him the secret robot sleeping in your basement. Then make him a schedule and have him change its air filter every three months.
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
stop being horny for the grinch he's a nasty wasty skunk
December 4, 2025 at 11:16 PM
stop being horny for the grinch he's a nasty wasty skunk
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
col mustard, in the observatory, with kindness
November 23, 2025 at 11:25 PM
col mustard, in the observatory, with kindness
Only I can prevent forest fires
November 23, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Only I can prevent forest fires
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
people used to like tiger woods beFORE! now they just find him off, putting . folks,,
November 23, 2025 at 2:48 PM
people used to like tiger woods beFORE! now they just find him off, putting . folks,,
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning
November 14, 2025 at 4:06 AM
getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
I was in downtown LA last night and witnessed someone honking furiously at a Waymo for not making a right on red and it felt like it really captured our moment.
November 10, 2025 at 6:42 AM
I was in downtown LA last night and witnessed someone honking furiously at a Waymo for not making a right on red and it felt like it really captured our moment.
[waiting the six seconds for my Keurig coffee to pour] cmon cmon cmon there has GOT to be a faster way
November 7, 2025 at 9:54 PM
[waiting the six seconds for my Keurig coffee to pour] cmon cmon cmon there has GOT to be a faster way
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
One scoop of mashed potatoes per person and DON'T WALK ON THE GRASS
October 31, 2025 at 11:33 PM
One scoop of mashed potatoes per person and DON'T WALK ON THE GRASS
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
Putin: "Mr Trump, tear down this house!"
October 22, 2025 at 5:51 AM
Putin: "Mr Trump, tear down this house!"
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
[alone in a dark cemetery] marco
September 23, 2023 at 9:25 PM
[alone in a dark cemetery] marco
Reposted by TuSoon Shakur
Elton John voice:
It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit
It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit
September 18, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Elton John voice:
It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit
It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit