Slouchy
@slouchy.bsky.social
Like most kangaroos I live a life of crime.
Pinned
Slouchy
@slouchy.bsky.social
· Nov 23
You wake up one day and all the world has turned to Greg. You're surprised, you did not see this coming. In the kitchen your boyfriend Greg greets you with a cup of greg. Greg, he says with a smile. Greg, you answer, and it just feels right, the gregness of it all.
Reposted by Slouchy
Can't wait to see what kind of extra unhealthy coping mechanisms I'll develop to make it through the holidays
November 11, 2025 at 5:46 AM
Can't wait to see what kind of extra unhealthy coping mechanisms I'll develop to make it through the holidays
Reposted by Slouchy
I'M PART OF THE GENERATION THAT:
• Respected Our Parents
• Played Outside
• Drank from the bong
• Hit each other with hammers
• Ate the whole flag
• Respected Our Parents
• Played Outside
• Drank from the bong
• Hit each other with hammers
• Ate the whole flag
March 22, 2025 at 10:53 AM
I'M PART OF THE GENERATION THAT:
• Respected Our Parents
• Played Outside
• Drank from the bong
• Hit each other with hammers
• Ate the whole flag
• Respected Our Parents
• Played Outside
• Drank from the bong
• Hit each other with hammers
• Ate the whole flag
Reposted by Slouchy
my head is like a pinball game but there's a monkey with cymbals having a dance party while jumping on the bed and he fell off and broke his head, over and over. what I'm trying to say is I sure play a mean pinball
November 8, 2025 at 2:39 AM
my head is like a pinball game but there's a monkey with cymbals having a dance party while jumping on the bed and he fell off and broke his head, over and over. what I'm trying to say is I sure play a mean pinball
Reposted by Slouchy
Grief eventually leads to joy, which you'll know when you've cried so hard your nose makes a noise just like a clown's nose being honked
November 7, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Grief eventually leads to joy, which you'll know when you've cried so hard your nose makes a noise just like a clown's nose being honked
Reposted by Slouchy
anyone else need a necklace with a button to push for being in an "i've fallen and can't get up" mental space?
November 9, 2025 at 7:15 PM
anyone else need a necklace with a button to push for being in an "i've fallen and can't get up" mental space?
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Hey Friends, if you're looking for comedy, I've got you covered
November 10, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Hey Friends, if you're looking for comedy, I've got you covered
Reposted by Slouchy
Chairs are pretty great.
You can fight a lion, or sit if you want.
You can fight a lion, or sit if you want.
March 1, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Chairs are pretty great.
You can fight a lion, or sit if you want.
You can fight a lion, or sit if you want.
Reposted by Slouchy
not sure whether you realize this or not but what you're saying is very very dumb and you should stop saying it
November 6, 2025 at 11:39 PM
not sure whether you realize this or not but what you're saying is very very dumb and you should stop saying it
Reposted by Slouchy
[looking back on a long and fruitful career in tech] holy shit that sucked
November 7, 2025 at 1:52 PM
[looking back on a long and fruitful career in tech] holy shit that sucked
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i was a regifted child
November 7, 2025 at 12:07 AM
i was a regifted child
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Holiday decorating tip I saw yesterday: Repurpose your jack o'lantern and make it festive by adding a Santa hat or poinsettias.
Me: Nothing screams Christmas 2025 like a moldy pumpkin with a hat.
Me: Nothing screams Christmas 2025 like a moldy pumpkin with a hat.
November 10, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Holiday decorating tip I saw yesterday: Repurpose your jack o'lantern and make it festive by adding a Santa hat or poinsettias.
Me: Nothing screams Christmas 2025 like a moldy pumpkin with a hat.
Me: Nothing screams Christmas 2025 like a moldy pumpkin with a hat.
Reposted by Slouchy
I read the news today, oh boy
(Use whenever applicable)
(Use whenever applicable)
November 7, 2025 at 3:36 PM
I read the news today, oh boy
(Use whenever applicable)
(Use whenever applicable)
Reposted by Slouchy
For twenty years I made a living pretending to know everything while hallucinating wildly and drawing dirty pictures but now AI has taken my job.
November 10, 2025 at 2:46 AM
For twenty years I made a living pretending to know everything while hallucinating wildly and drawing dirty pictures but now AI has taken my job.
Reposted by Slouchy
I'm clapping and yelling "nice fill, woo!" to everyone in line ahead of me at the pharmacy
November 8, 2025 at 9:40 PM
I'm clapping and yelling "nice fill, woo!" to everyone in line ahead of me at the pharmacy
Reposted by Slouchy
I don't flirt. Ever since my brother died in the great Flirting War of 2013.
November 8, 2025 at 10:53 PM
I don't flirt. Ever since my brother died in the great Flirting War of 2013.
Reposted by Slouchy
Reposted by Slouchy
furtive leaf meal followed by a spirited sprint back into the burrow 🤙
November 9, 2025 at 1:11 AM
furtive leaf meal followed by a spirited sprint back into the burrow 🤙
Reposted by Slouchy
Store employees are now required to smile if they are within 10 feet of a shopper.
If they’re within four feet, the employee should say "you're smelling extra delicious today, baby"
If they’re within four feet, the employee should say "you're smelling extra delicious today, baby"
November 8, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Store employees are now required to smile if they are within 10 feet of a shopper.
If they’re within four feet, the employee should say "you're smelling extra delicious today, baby"
If they’re within four feet, the employee should say "you're smelling extra delicious today, baby"
Reposted by Slouchy
on facebook everyone is fighting a battle they won’t fucking shut up about
November 6, 2025 at 5:48 PM
on facebook everyone is fighting a battle they won’t fucking shut up about
Reposted by Slouchy
You wouldn't give capitalism to a toddler, Kevin. It says right there on the package that it's a choking hazard.
November 8, 2025 at 4:37 PM
You wouldn't give capitalism to a toddler, Kevin. It says right there on the package that it's a choking hazard.
Reposted by Slouchy
My son: What's with all the orphans in your childhood movies? Were orphans like super popular in the olden days?
November 9, 2025 at 2:49 AM
My son: What's with all the orphans in your childhood movies? Were orphans like super popular in the olden days?
Reposted by Slouchy
the best evidence for the existence of an ineffable soul, each of us having a subjective experience linked to the physical body yet separate from it, is that billionaires clearly lack one, dead-eyed in darkness, begging the computer to love them, as if they would be able to feel if it did
November 8, 2025 at 5:19 PM
the best evidence for the existence of an ineffable soul, each of us having a subjective experience linked to the physical body yet separate from it, is that billionaires clearly lack one, dead-eyed in darkness, begging the computer to love them, as if they would be able to feel if it did
Reposted by Slouchy
Smoking weed as fast as a little squirrel can smoke. Like a tiny, luxuriously furry locomotive.
November 8, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Smoking weed as fast as a little squirrel can smoke. Like a tiny, luxuriously furry locomotive.
Reposted by Slouchy
It's just me and my vast armada of steampunk war blimps against the world
November 8, 2025 at 7:35 PM
It's just me and my vast armada of steampunk war blimps against the world
Reposted by Slouchy
Meet me at the clearing with a handful of grave dirt, a bucket of pond water and a sprig of thyme. Wear comfortable shoes and a hooded cloak. Tonight we will perform the Unalivening when the planets align.
November 8, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Meet me at the clearing with a handful of grave dirt, a bucket of pond water and a sprig of thyme. Wear comfortable shoes and a hooded cloak. Tonight we will perform the Unalivening when the planets align.