Slouchy
@slouchy.bsky.social
Like most kangaroos I live a life of crime.
Pinned
Slouchy
@slouchy.bsky.social
· Nov 23
You wake up one day and all the world has turned to Greg. You're surprised, you did not see this coming. In the kitchen your boyfriend Greg greets you with a cup of greg. Greg, he says with a smile. Greg, you answer, and it just feels right, the gregness of it all.
Reposted by Slouchy
We shall delete the posts until the concept of posts is no more.
January 22, 2026 at 9:43 PM
We shall delete the posts until the concept of posts is no more.
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There is a goat man in my living room, standing on two legs, menacingly watching me eat a bowl of cereal
January 22, 2026 at 11:32 AM
There is a goat man in my living room, standing on two legs, menacingly watching me eat a bowl of cereal
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“We’ve invented a magic computer. It uses all of the earth’s resources, we’ve spent trillions on it and it’s the sole growth area of the US economy.”
“What does it do?”
“We were hoping you could tell us.”
“What does it do?”
“We were hoping you could tell us.”
Delicious to me
January 22, 2026 at 7:36 AM
“We’ve invented a magic computer. It uses all of the earth’s resources, we’ve spent trillions on it and it’s the sole growth area of the US economy.”
“What does it do?”
“We were hoping you could tell us.”
“What does it do?”
“We were hoping you could tell us.”
Reposted by Slouchy
If you descend one level below the asphalt, you'll find me suspended in a glass box, not as a warning, but because they dedicated this road to me.
January 20, 2026 at 4:16 PM
If you descend one level below the asphalt, you'll find me suspended in a glass box, not as a warning, but because they dedicated this road to me.
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How does one really know if something is fr fr, do you bite it like a coin, use it to cut glass, have it appraised, just abbrev somebody's word for it as for reality for reality? I don't even trust shorts
January 20, 2026 at 5:41 AM
How does one really know if something is fr fr, do you bite it like a coin, use it to cut glass, have it appraised, just abbrev somebody's word for it as for reality for reality? I don't even trust shorts
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It's awards season, guys.
Which one's going to produce a winner's acceptance speech that includes love and thanks to their AI girlfriend/boyfriend?
Which one's going to produce a winner's acceptance speech that includes love and thanks to their AI girlfriend/boyfriend?
January 20, 2026 at 7:17 PM
It's awards season, guys.
Which one's going to produce a winner's acceptance speech that includes love and thanks to their AI girlfriend/boyfriend?
Which one's going to produce a winner's acceptance speech that includes love and thanks to their AI girlfriend/boyfriend?
Reposted by Slouchy
It's nice how people leave those free dogs tied up outside shops for you to take home when you're feeling sad
January 20, 2026 at 8:18 PM
It's nice how people leave those free dogs tied up outside shops for you to take home when you're feeling sad
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My eyes are getting greyer and my mustache is starting to get some white in it, pretty stoked for these monochrome years
January 20, 2026 at 8:57 PM
My eyes are getting greyer and my mustache is starting to get some white in it, pretty stoked for these monochrome years
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Why do fairground test your strength games always involve hitting a bell with a mallet? Fetch me the device that can measure the dignified silence I maintain in the face of my many, many petty complaints. They dare not give me a mallet. They dare not ring that bell.
January 17, 2026 at 8:07 AM
Why do fairground test your strength games always involve hitting a bell with a mallet? Fetch me the device that can measure the dignified silence I maintain in the face of my many, many petty complaints. They dare not give me a mallet. They dare not ring that bell.
Reposted by Slouchy
the fifth horseman of the apocalypse: stupidity
January 6, 2026 at 3:20 PM
the fifth horseman of the apocalypse: stupidity
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Nothing quite like the feeling of taking off your lobster costume after a long day of chasing strangers around the arboretum
December 10, 2024 at 11:31 AM
Nothing quite like the feeling of taking off your lobster costume after a long day of chasing strangers around the arboretum
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me: can we use our debit cards in hell or do we have to bring cash?
the priest giving me communion: i need you to become an atheist.
the priest giving me communion: i need you to become an atheist.
January 9, 2026 at 7:18 PM
me: can we use our debit cards in hell or do we have to bring cash?
the priest giving me communion: i need you to become an atheist.
the priest giving me communion: i need you to become an atheist.
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i was having a hard time remembering the formula for the surface area of a dodecahedron but then i asked my homunculus topher and he thought for a while and then just ate a red-tailed chipmunk in front of me fur bones and all
January 9, 2026 at 5:21 AM
i was having a hard time remembering the formula for the surface area of a dodecahedron but then i asked my homunculus topher and he thought for a while and then just ate a red-tailed chipmunk in front of me fur bones and all
Reposted by Slouchy
ChatGPT is taking away jobs by automating the process of being driven mad via people online by replacing it with a chatbot
January 8, 2026 at 8:32 AM
ChatGPT is taking away jobs by automating the process of being driven mad via people online by replacing it with a chatbot
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"Thank you for calling The Void. Your scream is very important to The Void but right now it's overwhelmed. If you could please leave your scream at the beep The Void will accept it as soon as possible. Thank you. "
January 8, 2026 at 6:12 AM
"Thank you for calling The Void. Your scream is very important to The Void but right now it's overwhelmed. If you could please leave your scream at the beep The Void will accept it as soon as possible. Thank you. "
”Would you describe what's happening to you as kafkaesque, or is it more orwellian?”, my psychiatrist asks, but I can’t describe anything at all, my throat chokingly tight as if gripped by some great vice.
January 7, 2026 at 7:04 PM
”Would you describe what's happening to you as kafkaesque, or is it more orwellian?”, my psychiatrist asks, but I can’t describe anything at all, my throat chokingly tight as if gripped by some great vice.
Reposted by Slouchy
There should be a zoo experience where you try to outdrink a panda
January 5, 2026 at 3:04 AM
There should be a zoo experience where you try to outdrink a panda
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9: Where's mom?
me: out the back
9: in Australia?
me: no silly, she’s out THE back, not in the Outback!
9: what's she doing?
me: playing with her didgeridoo, I think
me: out the back
9: in Australia?
me: no silly, she’s out THE back, not in the Outback!
9: what's she doing?
me: playing with her didgeridoo, I think
December 31, 2025 at 2:15 PM
9: Where's mom?
me: out the back
9: in Australia?
me: no silly, she’s out THE back, not in the Outback!
9: what's she doing?
me: playing with her didgeridoo, I think
me: out the back
9: in Australia?
me: no silly, she’s out THE back, not in the Outback!
9: what's she doing?
me: playing with her didgeridoo, I think
Reposted by Slouchy
All the other scientists are yelling at me because I’m wearing the Doomsday Clock like Flavor Flav
December 12, 2024 at 3:36 PM
All the other scientists are yelling at me because I’m wearing the Doomsday Clock like Flavor Flav
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MANUARY, A MONTH FOR MEN.
January 2, 2026 at 7:13 PM
MANUARY, A MONTH FOR MEN.
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Okay, alright, but would you still love me if I were a worm clomping around the house in a peach tankini and winter boots?
January 2, 2026 at 7:39 PM
Okay, alright, but would you still love me if I were a worm clomping around the house in a peach tankini and winter boots?
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Where does the old year go, is it a buried at midnight in the back yard situation or more of an elves sailing west deal?
January 2, 2026 at 7:53 AM
Where does the old year go, is it a buried at midnight in the back yard situation or more of an elves sailing west deal?
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New Year's resolutions don't have to be about socially acceptable change.
Break the mould: resolve to become a troll, or to gain 10kg at the doughnut shop.
Break the mould: resolve to become a troll, or to gain 10kg at the doughnut shop.
December 30, 2025 at 3:13 PM
New Year's resolutions don't have to be about socially acceptable change.
Break the mould: resolve to become a troll, or to gain 10kg at the doughnut shop.
Break the mould: resolve to become a troll, or to gain 10kg at the doughnut shop.
Reposted by Slouchy
babybjörn implies adultbjörn. where is the adultbjörn? i demand to be transported via an adultbjörn.
December 28, 2025 at 8:15 AM
babybjörn implies adultbjörn. where is the adultbjörn? i demand to be transported via an adultbjörn.