Jolene
@joleneski.bsky.social
Might steal your man, will definitely share your shitpost.
Checkout my starter packs for the undisputed best shitposters on Bluesky.
Checkout my starter packs for the undisputed best shitposters on Bluesky.
Pinned
Jolene
@joleneski.bsky.social
· Nov 19
Introducing myself to the shitpost community. If it makes me laugh I’ll share it. Send me your worst. #welcome
Reposted by Jolene
I am not a trophy wife by any means but I could probably earn a sweet participation ribbon by telling you bad puns and outlandish stories that I heard on a podcast once
December 20, 2024 at 1:22 PM
I am not a trophy wife by any means but I could probably earn a sweet participation ribbon by telling you bad puns and outlandish stories that I heard on a podcast once
Reposted by Jolene
Fans will hate me for this but I think it's fine that HBO isn't renewing Sesame Street. There's really nowhere else for these character arcs to go and the gratuitous nudity feels half hearted at this point
December 16, 2024 at 3:52 AM
Fans will hate me for this but I think it's fine that HBO isn't renewing Sesame Street. There's really nowhere else for these character arcs to go and the gratuitous nudity feels half hearted at this point
Nothing activates my fight or flight response like an afternoon at female chaos stores like TJ Maxx and Homegoods.
December 16, 2024 at 3:34 AM
Nothing activates my fight or flight response like an afternoon at female chaos stores like TJ Maxx and Homegoods.
Reposted by Jolene
I’ve got a really good feeling about this bad decision.
December 15, 2024 at 8:00 PM
I’ve got a really good feeling about this bad decision.
As someone who has long covid… Faaahk. But damn if that isn’t an excellent shitpost @eve6.bsky.social 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I want a girl with a short skirt and long covid
December 16, 2024 at 1:04 AM
As someone who has long covid… Faaahk. But damn if that isn’t an excellent shitpost @eve6.bsky.social 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Reposted by Jolene
If you bought 10,000 maniacs in 1992 it would be worth 1,000,000 maniacs today
December 14, 2024 at 6:49 PM
If you bought 10,000 maniacs in 1992 it would be worth 1,000,000 maniacs today
Reposted by Jolene
hello 911, yeah the cuffs on my sweatshirt got a little wet when i was washing my hands
December 13, 2024 at 9:21 PM
hello 911, yeah the cuffs on my sweatshirt got a little wet when i was washing my hands
Reposted by Jolene
My houseplants watching me pour water in the coffee maker
December 13, 2024 at 1:45 AM
My houseplants watching me pour water in the coffee maker
Reposted by Jolene
Me: I will just relax for a few minutes by playing a mindless game on my phone
Phone: Cool, every 90 seconds you will just need to watch a little animated snuff film featuring a mother and child freezing to death, or a king slowly being crushed against a spiky wall by piles of falling rubble
Phone: Cool, every 90 seconds you will just need to watch a little animated snuff film featuring a mother and child freezing to death, or a king slowly being crushed against a spiky wall by piles of falling rubble
December 11, 2024 at 3:11 PM
Me: I will just relax for a few minutes by playing a mindless game on my phone
Phone: Cool, every 90 seconds you will just need to watch a little animated snuff film featuring a mother and child freezing to death, or a king slowly being crushed against a spiky wall by piles of falling rubble
Phone: Cool, every 90 seconds you will just need to watch a little animated snuff film featuring a mother and child freezing to death, or a king slowly being crushed against a spiky wall by piles of falling rubble
Reposted by Jolene
My fav thing about the shitposting community is how much we support each other. I love all of you 🥰
December 11, 2024 at 2:31 AM
My fav thing about the shitposting community is how much we support each other. I love all of you 🥰
Reposted by Jolene
You can’t tell me to make ‘myself at home’ and then get weirded out if I take off my pants and cry in the kitchen. That’s not how that works.
December 9, 2024 at 2:30 PM
You can’t tell me to make ‘myself at home’ and then get weirded out if I take off my pants and cry in the kitchen. That’s not how that works.
Reposted by Jolene
*looking through my followers list
Suspects. All of them….
Suspects. All of them….
December 7, 2024 at 12:33 AM
*looking through my followers list
Suspects. All of them….
Suspects. All of them….
Reposted by Jolene
Kids today have no idea how easy they have it. I was forced to spend the greater part of my youth as a TV antenna.
December 7, 2024 at 12:21 AM
Kids today have no idea how easy they have it. I was forced to spend the greater part of my youth as a TV antenna.
Post someone you've been told you look like, but you don't.
Seriously do it. I need to make sure all my followers are hot.
Seriously do it. I need to make sure all my followers are hot.
December 6, 2024 at 11:40 PM
Post someone you've been told you look like, but you don't.
Seriously do it. I need to make sure all my followers are hot.
Seriously do it. I need to make sure all my followers are hot.
Reposted by Jolene
When anything you learned in elementary school changes that teacher should have to text you an update.
December 4, 2024 at 3:04 AM
When anything you learned in elementary school changes that teacher should have to text you an update.
Reposted by Jolene
The people doing these sketches should be called con artists.
December 4, 2024 at 4:41 AM
The people doing these sketches should be called con artists.
This site will break if Bluesky does an end of year Shitpost Wrapped report like Spotify.
December 5, 2024 at 2:14 AM
This site will break if Bluesky does an end of year Shitpost Wrapped report like Spotify.
Reposted by Jolene
"Ok. What can we wrap in what?"
-- Taco Bell Executive
-- Taco Bell Executive
November 27, 2024 at 3:46 PM
"Ok. What can we wrap in what?"
-- Taco Bell Executive
-- Taco Bell Executive
Reposted by Jolene
Oh you love Thanksgiving?
Name every disease the settlers gave the natives.
Name every disease the settlers gave the natives.
November 27, 2024 at 3:44 PM
Oh you love Thanksgiving?
Name every disease the settlers gave the natives.
Name every disease the settlers gave the natives.
Reposted by Jolene
I’m not paying a tariff to read skeets from outside of the USA
November 26, 2024 at 1:38 PM
I’m not paying a tariff to read skeets from outside of the USA
Swapping my doomscrolling habit for shitpost scrolling is the healthiest decision I’ve made in months.
November 26, 2024 at 1:57 PM
Swapping my doomscrolling habit for shitpost scrolling is the healthiest decision I’ve made in months.
Reposted by Jolene
It's a shame that diss tracks never crossed over to alternative rock. I would've loved to hear billy corgan yowling about his petty grievances toward our lady peace or whatever
November 26, 2024 at 8:12 AM
It's a shame that diss tracks never crossed over to alternative rock. I would've loved to hear billy corgan yowling about his petty grievances toward our lady peace or whatever