DeeDastardly
@mydmac.bsky.social
Pinned
DeeDastardly
@mydmac.bsky.social
· Jan 13
Popcorn ceilings just aren’t as tasty as you’d think.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
Look me in the ass and tell me you love me.
January 29, 2026 at 11:21 PM
Look me in the ass and tell me you love me.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
Dad: Figure skating? How about you figure out how to get a job
February 8, 2026 at 1:36 AM
Dad: Figure skating? How about you figure out how to get a job
My bank account is crying.
February 8, 2026 at 12:12 AM
My bank account is crying.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
The only cause worth dying for imo is a high cholesterol diet.
January 25, 2026 at 9:57 PM
The only cause worth dying for imo is a high cholesterol diet.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
She was dazzling, like a laser pointer to the eyeballs.
January 26, 2026 at 1:31 AM
She was dazzling, like a laser pointer to the eyeballs.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
How do I become anticrastinating?
January 18, 2026 at 4:30 PM
How do I become anticrastinating?
Being cynical is the new happy.
January 23, 2026 at 10:55 AM
Being cynical is the new happy.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
But, I dont want to play the sane one today.
January 22, 2026 at 10:05 PM
But, I dont want to play the sane one today.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
If someone calls me "dog," I take that as a green light to mount them and assert my dominance.
November 8, 2024 at 4:17 PM
If someone calls me "dog," I take that as a green light to mount them and assert my dominance.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
I'm running out of room for another "I told you so" tattoo.
January 23, 2026 at 6:17 AM
I'm running out of room for another "I told you so" tattoo.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
Coexistence has been canceled.
January 19, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Coexistence has been canceled.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
Breakfast is the most important gin absorber of the day.
February 14, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Breakfast is the most important gin absorber of the day.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
'Clench' is an intrinsically funny word. Anyway, crapped my pants at the train station again
January 19, 2026 at 8:46 PM
'Clench' is an intrinsically funny word. Anyway, crapped my pants at the train station again
Why read about dystopian societies when you can just live in them.
January 20, 2026 at 6:37 AM
Why read about dystopian societies when you can just live in them.
I still have a passionate love of *life.
*naps
*naps
January 18, 2026 at 4:34 AM
I still have a passionate love of *life.
*naps
*naps
Choosing to be slothful and not ruthless is a professional goal.
January 16, 2026 at 11:48 AM
Choosing to be slothful and not ruthless is a professional goal.
I can't wait until I'm really old so I can bore people by making 30 second stories last for hours then relating it all back to the weather.
January 16, 2026 at 11:45 AM
I can't wait until I'm really old so I can bore people by making 30 second stories last for hours then relating it all back to the weather.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
There’s an unexpected item in the teabagging area.
January 16, 2026 at 12:11 AM
There’s an unexpected item in the teabagging area.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
Redoing my resume in all emojis in an attempt to stay relevant
January 15, 2026 at 6:36 PM
Redoing my resume in all emojis in an attempt to stay relevant
It’s been so long since I shopped for groceries it’s just the string cheese keeping me alive.
January 12, 2026 at 12:04 AM
It’s been so long since I shopped for groceries it’s just the string cheese keeping me alive.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
Can any reply people out there tell me what a rhetorical joke is?
January 10, 2026 at 4:27 PM
Can any reply people out there tell me what a rhetorical joke is?
Reposted by DeeDastardly
Social media
2% useful news
7% clever and/or funny posts
3% useful or interesting political posts
1% interesting pics or images
87% the absolute worst
2% useful news
7% clever and/or funny posts
3% useful or interesting political posts
1% interesting pics or images
87% the absolute worst
January 9, 2026 at 4:22 PM
Social media
2% useful news
7% clever and/or funny posts
3% useful or interesting political posts
1% interesting pics or images
87% the absolute worst
2% useful news
7% clever and/or funny posts
3% useful or interesting political posts
1% interesting pics or images
87% the absolute worst
Reposted by DeeDastardly
On average, I spend about $150 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
January 9, 2026 at 1:24 PM
On average, I spend about $150 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
Love means never having to say sorry for your misuse of your and you’re.
January 10, 2026 at 10:28 AM
Love means never having to say sorry for your misuse of your and you’re.
20 years ago you could never have said that your Yeti smelled like Pina Colada without people thinking you were a pervert.
What a wonderful time to be alive.
What a wonderful time to be alive.
January 10, 2026 at 10:25 AM
20 years ago you could never have said that your Yeti smelled like Pina Colada without people thinking you were a pervert.
What a wonderful time to be alive.
What a wonderful time to be alive.