Certified™ Not Chopped (They/Them) 🇵🇸
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dylanbickers.com
Certified™ Not Chopped (They/Them) 🇵🇸
@dylanbickers.com
(They/them) Non-binary Jewish communist. Untrained anthropologist studying the significance of shitposts. My views do not reflect those of my unemployer.
Pinned
Reposted by Certified™ Not Chopped (They/Them) 🇵🇸
Crow Country rules, it's so unique even among retro Survival Horror games
i’ve been playing Crow Country for the first time and it’s such a neat little experience! 🙂‍↕️🎮

it has that nostalgic, pixelated survival-horror feel to it. the puzzles are simple enough, but not too easy on the player, and the enemies are diverse which means sometimes you just gotta run away. 😄🐦‍⬛
February 8, 2026 at 8:37 PM
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Sauron to Isildur like
February 8, 2026 at 4:24 AM
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I just posted my fourth full-length YouTube video!!! It's a roundup of incidents involving drunk ICE agents (and CBP, and others). Please please please watch, like, and share!!! I worked very hard on it and I hope you enjoy it
Drunk ICE Agents Roundup!
YouTube video by TAKE MY WIFI PLEASE
youtu.be
February 7, 2026 at 6:27 PM
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GM: Charisma check.

Mamdani: [rolls natural 20]

GM: that’s a d6 how did you

Mamdani: [direct to camera] Did you know you can check out board games at your local public library? 😊
February 7, 2026 at 5:01 AM
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Fondly remembering the months of weirdness/unhinged comments we got from Pritzker fiends on this app and others for simply (and accurately!) covering state police attacks on protesters outside Broadview. Godspeed to everyone in Minnesota facing the same from the Walz fan club
🚨BREAKING: Local Minneapolis police SWARM ICE protesters making mass arrests in front of ICE prison. One protesters forehead is gushing blood ⬇️
February 7, 2026 at 10:14 PM
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im a simple man; you show me a video where people boo jd vance; im gonna watch it
February 8, 2026 at 12:35 AM
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Not only did they bring a small private army, but among the waste of taxpayer money was BRINGING A FULL PLANE OF FOOD.

To *Italy*.
February 7, 2026 at 12:19 AM
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my goat washed
February 7, 2026 at 8:03 PM
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talking about the weather is generally the lowest form of discourse but i can’t hold it in anymore: this weather is bullshit
February 7, 2026 at 9:29 PM
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The dialectic: Calling him "Felon Musk" is problematic because it implies that people marginalized as "felons" under an unjust carceral system are lesser and deserving of death as a class. But also he should commit seppuku on a live Twitter space
February 7, 2026 at 2:37 PM
My entire spot is covered in two inches of snow on top of the 20 we got before and I just really want to nap and not go out with the brush to deal with it
February 6, 2026 at 3:28 PM
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utterly demonic. how does anyone responsible for this sleep at night?
DHS has requested expedited deportation proceedings against family of Liam Conejo Ramos
The federal government has filed a motion seeking to end asylum claims for the family of Liam Conejo Ramos, according to the lawyer representing the family.
www.mprnews.org
February 6, 2026 at 2:22 AM
6–7 million more dollars in funding
“6 7” - Democrats after giving ICE more money
February 6, 2026 at 1:52 AM
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Ciruelo Cabral
February 6, 2026 at 1:37 AM
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hello bluesky! If you’re a recently laid-off WaPo staffer and are interested in talking about it on @goingdowntv.bsky.social – my anticapitalist political talk show – either remotely or in-studio on 2/27 in brooklyn… hit my line
February 6, 2026 at 12:26 AM
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HEAVY METAL (1981, Gerald Potterton)
February 5, 2026 at 8:46 PM
Good to see she still sucks tbh
February 5, 2026 at 8:41 PM
Fixing toilet paper that’s facing the wrong way up, call that roll reversal
February 5, 2026 at 5:28 PM
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From the makers of “Big Mouth” Billy Bass, here comes “Huge Tits” Tracey Trout, a trout with massive boobs
February 5, 2026 at 5:20 PM
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economists ran the numbers and, uh, it's bad!
Vibe Coding Is Killing Open Source Software, Researchers Argue
‘If the maintainers of small projects give up, who will produce the next Linux?’
www.404media.co
February 5, 2026 at 4:49 PM
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Armed dawn raids, endorsed by Tim Walz!
After 6am this morning in Whittier, Minneapolis—FOUR BLOCKS from where Pretti was murdered.

18 agents with Homeland Security Investigations (HSI) markings smashed an apartment window, ran in, and came out with one man.
February 5, 2026 at 2:52 PM
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yes!! yes! ddr5 ram available at normal prices in our lifetime!!
The tide is shifting. They're walking back the bullshit hype.
February 5, 2026 at 2:15 PM
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I encourage people not to get too invested in the movement of tickers as a social justice cue lol
Palantir stock is falling again today. It's now down more than 25% over the past month.
February 5, 2026 at 4:25 PM
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I wrote about how I'm looking forward to the day when cannabis is fully legalized so people can stop trying to sell me on it slate.com/life/2026/02...
Everyone Should Have One Vice That Doesn’t Kill Them. But if These People Don’t Shut Up About Theirs, I Might Turn Homicidal.
It’s a big “pass” from me.
slate.com
February 5, 2026 at 4:07 PM
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american evangelicals love debasing themselves for a guy who’s like ”praying is kinda gay”
Trump: "Mike Johnson is a very religious person. He does not hide it. He'll say to me sometimes at lunch, 'Sir, may we pray.' I'll say, 'Excuse me? We're having lunch.'"
February 5, 2026 at 4:02 PM