cella
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cella.bsky.social
cella
@cella.bsky.social
killer of plants
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My autocorrect just changed Men to Meh and I gotta agree
September 25, 2023 at 1:56 PM
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Friend: Your cat looks like he’s wearing socks. Is his name “Socks”?

Me, not listening: Who’s the best little man? Is it Generalissimo Pantaloons?
August 25, 2023 at 8:17 PM
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might fuck around and drop a piano on the next person who says everything happens for a reason
July 7, 2023 at 10:49 PM
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Your honor my ponytail was too high and tight that day
June 27, 2023 at 5:57 AM
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I am become Death, bassist for the Wyld Stallyns
July 12, 2023 at 10:55 PM
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Got banned from Tinder for sacrificing to many men on first dates to appease The Great Ones
July 12, 2023 at 11:42 PM
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Yeah I multitask. I can listen to my kid talk about Roblox, zone out, and reply with “Oh my gosh, no way” or “Wow, that’s crazy.”
July 12, 2023 at 5:28 PM
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It’s slow at work so I figured I’d perfect my art. I call this:

Jabbavocado the Hutt on Toast
July 6, 2023 at 4:39 PM
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The necessity to call someone a fuck wad because of their ignorant reply hasn't occurred here and it's kind of bittersweet
July 5, 2023 at 4:23 AM
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Sigmund Freud: [observing hot dog eating contest] I SAID DOES ANYONE HAVE ANOTHER NOTEBOOK
July 2, 2023 at 8:07 PM
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Sure, I’m into weed. Yeah, as in we’ed all like you to sit down. This is an intervention
July 2, 2023 at 6:47 PM
mastodon watching me download another twitter replacement
July 2, 2023 at 5:52 AM
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why stack your tupperware when you can chunk it into the cabinet and close the door before it falls out.
July 1, 2023 at 11:39 PM
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Three’s Company is like Friends reruns but in the 80’s and funny.
July 2, 2023 at 1:14 AM
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he was a hater, boy
a limit your rate-r boy
July 2, 2023 at 1:22 AM
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June 30th July 1st
July 1, 2023 at 12:23 PM
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welcome to all new bluesky users. please keep in mind that it is still in beta. there are many features still missing, so please be patient. for example, you may notice that this app loads posts and then shows them to you, instead of not doing that for some reason.
July 2, 2023 at 2:44 AM
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you’ll have to pry my bad decisions from my cold dead hands
July 2, 2023 at 12:50 AM
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You think my freckles are cute but they’re actually tiny teardrop tattoos for every sunbeam I’ve ever killed
July 1, 2023 at 2:14 PM
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me: excuse me, garçon? this after-dinner mint is TOO spicy

waiter: sir is eating a lit candle
July 1, 2023 at 12:39 AM
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You, unenlightened: big spoon or little spoon?

Me, breakfast sorcerer:
July 1, 2023 at 10:13 AM
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When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on
July 1, 2023 at 11:12 PM
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“She says she doesn’t want to fuckin’ talk to you.”
July 2, 2023 at 4:33 AM