Itssherifield
@itssherifield.bsky.social
Musician mama of 3 treading water and taking names. As seen on @buzzfeed @huffpost @todayshow @boredpanda
Why are they called teenagers and not assholes?
November 20, 2024 at 4:22 PM
Why are they called teenagers and not assholes?
I got readers and showed my son and he said I looked 70 so I turned off the WiFi.
November 16, 2024 at 12:09 AM
I got readers and showed my son and he said I looked 70 so I turned off the WiFi.
This morning when I woke my daughter for school she said I don’t like how you wake me with a soft voice so tomorrow I’m waking her with a kazoo.
November 9, 2023 at 10:18 PM
This morning when I woke my daughter for school she said I don’t like how you wake me with a soft voice so tomorrow I’m waking her with a kazoo.
When you’re a parent there is only daylight losing.
November 6, 2023 at 3:57 AM
When you’re a parent there is only daylight losing.
I used to say to my mom you’re so mean I’m calling the cops and she’d say do it they take you away not me. Now you understand my genes.
October 31, 2023 at 4:26 AM
I used to say to my mom you’re so mean I’m calling the cops and she’d say do it they take you away not me. Now you understand my genes.
Was listening to the radio in the car and cum on feel the noize by quiet riot came on and my girls said haha mom they spelled come wrong and that’s when I changed the station.
October 27, 2023 at 4:07 AM
Was listening to the radio in the car and cum on feel the noize by quiet riot came on and my girls said haha mom they spelled come wrong and that’s when I changed the station.
My daughter said she couldn’t sleep cause she’s afraid bees are in the walls and guess who else isn’t sleeping now.
October 26, 2023 at 5:27 AM
My daughter said she couldn’t sleep cause she’s afraid bees are in the walls and guess who else isn’t sleeping now.
I’m directing a psychological thriller called my twins are running against each other for student council.
September 21, 2023 at 8:08 PM
I’m directing a psychological thriller called my twins are running against each other for student council.
I love taking pictures of the ocean so they can sit on my phone for 30 years and take up memory.
September 21, 2023 at 12:18 AM
I love taking pictures of the ocean so they can sit on my phone for 30 years and take up memory.
Reposted by Itssherifield
I don't know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur
September 20, 2023 at 5:56 PM
I don't know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur
If moms were awarded stickers.
September 20, 2023 at 9:11 PM
If moms were awarded stickers.
Me: Why aren’t you asleep?
11: I’m reading an antigravity book and I can’t put it down.
11: I’m reading an antigravity book and I can’t put it down.
August 31, 2023 at 5:58 PM
Me: Why aren’t you asleep?
11: I’m reading an antigravity book and I can’t put it down.
11: I’m reading an antigravity book and I can’t put it down.
One day they won't want to hang with you anymore tell myself as my kids have 47 things to tell me while I'm on the toilet.
August 30, 2023 at 11:39 PM
One day they won't want to hang with you anymore tell myself as my kids have 47 things to tell me while I'm on the toilet.
Remember when your mom would just drop you at the mall and have no way to get in touch with you? I don’t even trust my kids to go upstairs alone.
August 23, 2023 at 12:47 AM
Remember when your mom would just drop you at the mall and have no way to get in touch with you? I don’t even trust my kids to go upstairs alone.
My daughter was complaining about her bedsheets so I said stop talking sheet and then she laughed and stopped complaining.
August 22, 2023 at 2:50 AM
My daughter was complaining about her bedsheets so I said stop talking sheet and then she laughed and stopped complaining.
Reposted by Itssherifield
I fixed the lock on the bathroom door which was stupid because now I need to keep getting out of the shower to let the kids in
August 18, 2023 at 11:29 PM
I fixed the lock on the bathroom door which was stupid because now I need to keep getting out of the shower to let the kids in
Reposted by Itssherifield
I was asked for a core memory but my only thought was that song about my poor meatball rollin out the door when somebody sneezed
August 18, 2023 at 1:45 PM
I was asked for a core memory but my only thought was that song about my poor meatball rollin out the door when somebody sneezed
Reposted by Itssherifield
Took the day off so I’d have enough time to fill out all the back to school forms
August 18, 2023 at 11:30 PM
Took the day off so I’d have enough time to fill out all the back to school forms
I never realized as an parent how much I’d relate to the teacher in Charlie Brown.
August 18, 2023 at 11:32 PM
I never realized as an parent how much I’d relate to the teacher in Charlie Brown.
Reposted by Itssherifield
I started to make out a grocery list but then I remembered there's a writers' strike.
August 10, 2023 at 8:05 PM
I started to make out a grocery list but then I remembered there's a writers' strike.
My kid told me I was a bad mom and I said in my day bad meant good so thanks.
August 10, 2023 at 1:38 AM
My kid told me I was a bad mom and I said in my day bad meant good so thanks.
Told my mom I was frustrated with my kid and she reminded me when I was two I flushed an entire box of tampons down the toilet in the Chicago winter and froze the pipes and honestly why is she making this about her?
August 8, 2023 at 7:55 PM
Told my mom I was frustrated with my kid and she reminded me when I was two I flushed an entire box of tampons down the toilet in the Chicago winter and froze the pipes and honestly why is she making this about her?
Reposted by Itssherifield
drivers are killing it*
*cyclists, wildlife, the planet
*cyclists, wildlife, the planet
August 5, 2023 at 8:54 PM
drivers are killing it*
*cyclists, wildlife, the planet
*cyclists, wildlife, the planet