OfficeofSteve
@officeofsteve.bsky.social
You've been smooching with everybody
Dumpster - https://bsky.app/profile/officeofsteve.bsky.social/feed/aaackjw5xfh46
Dumpster - https://bsky.app/profile/officeofsteve.bsky.social/feed/aaackjw5xfh46
Pinned
Whenever a woman flirts with me, my bowtie spins uncontrollably
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
Can’t, I’m doing self loathing January.
January 12, 2026 at 10:28 PM
Can’t, I’m doing self loathing January.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
What’s a little ass eating between friends?
January 21, 2026 at 10:46 PM
What’s a little ass eating between friends?
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
Don’t be an ass, eat an ass.
-Inspirational.
-Inspirational.
September 25, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Don’t be an ass, eat an ass.
-Inspirational.
-Inspirational.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
What I like most about BlueSky is how on twitter I always felt like I was an outsider looking in and I do here too, so it really feels just like home.
December 11, 2024 at 11:43 PM
What I like most about BlueSky is how on twitter I always felt like I was an outsider looking in and I do here too, so it really feels just like home.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
Once upon a time my wife would bend me to her will using just her feminine charm coupled with the threat of withholding ‘favours’. These days all it takes is the tactical deployment of a bacon sammich.
To be honest, we’re both happier for it.
To be honest, we’re both happier for it.
January 17, 2026 at 2:40 PM
Once upon a time my wife would bend me to her will using just her feminine charm coupled with the threat of withholding ‘favours’. These days all it takes is the tactical deployment of a bacon sammich.
To be honest, we’re both happier for it.
To be honest, we’re both happier for it.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
Relationship status: staring wistfully at store mannequins dressed in yoga pants for just a few seconds longer than is decent in polite society.
January 16, 2026 at 2:24 PM
Relationship status: staring wistfully at store mannequins dressed in yoga pants for just a few seconds longer than is decent in polite society.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
You can tell a lot about a person if you read their biography.
January 15, 2026 at 2:42 PM
You can tell a lot about a person if you read their biography.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
I just discovered that you can buy anyone if the price is right, and it turns out that I'm available for a bacon sandwich and a quarter bottle of rubbing alcohol.
January 14, 2026 at 1:58 PM
I just discovered that you can buy anyone if the price is right, and it turns out that I'm available for a bacon sandwich and a quarter bottle of rubbing alcohol.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
Welcome to your 40s.
You now have a pair of reading glasses in every room of the house.
You now have a pair of reading glasses in every room of the house.
January 16, 2026 at 3:08 PM
Welcome to your 40s.
You now have a pair of reading glasses in every room of the house.
You now have a pair of reading glasses in every room of the house.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
People don’t spontaneously combust like they used to.
January 15, 2026 at 10:02 PM
People don’t spontaneously combust like they used to.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
Coffee because I’m too pretty for jail.
January 15, 2026 at 6:53 PM
Coffee because I’m too pretty for jail.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
As soon as somebody tells me they’re a Christian, they become red flag immediately.
January 16, 2026 at 1:04 PM
As soon as somebody tells me they’re a Christian, they become red flag immediately.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
Nowadays it’s all “alpha to ozempic”
January 16, 2026 at 1:05 PM
Nowadays it’s all “alpha to ozempic”
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
On the hunt for pedophiles…?
Check the church first.
Check the church first.
January 16, 2026 at 1:07 PM
On the hunt for pedophiles…?
Check the church first.
Check the church first.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
my weight loss plan is vomiting if I even glance at the news
October 23, 2025 at 12:06 PM
my weight loss plan is vomiting if I even glance at the news
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
Having a black cat means sometimes I talk to a sweater on my bed.
November 15, 2024 at 11:39 AM
Having a black cat means sometimes I talk to a sweater on my bed.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
If you scream sing Phantom of the Opera throughout the day, more times than not, people will leave you alone.
January 13, 2026 at 12:24 PM
If you scream sing Phantom of the Opera throughout the day, more times than not, people will leave you alone.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
is that a skeet in your pocket or are you just happy to see me
January 14, 2026 at 12:09 AM
is that a skeet in your pocket or are you just happy to see me
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
I think we can stop calling them “ICE agents” and just refer to them as domestic terrorists because that’s exactly what they are
January 14, 2026 at 1:17 AM
I think we can stop calling them “ICE agents” and just refer to them as domestic terrorists because that’s exactly what they are
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
They want to light the match
You best bring the fucking petrol,baby
You best bring the fucking petrol,baby
January 14, 2026 at 2:46 AM
They want to light the match
You best bring the fucking petrol,baby
You best bring the fucking petrol,baby
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
opening a portal to Hell
y'all need anything?
y'all need anything?
January 14, 2026 at 2:48 AM
opening a portal to Hell
y'all need anything?
y'all need anything?
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
someone jump inside my brain and churn the thing that does the thinking
January 14, 2026 at 2:49 AM
someone jump inside my brain and churn the thing that does the thinking
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
If we're all just saying obvious shit now, I don't think we should have to pay for every channel separately.
January 14, 2026 at 2:49 AM
If we're all just saying obvious shit now, I don't think we should have to pay for every channel separately.
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
getting flipped off by the president is now a higher honor than a nobel prize. it’s only a matter of time before he flips himself off
January 14, 2026 at 3:26 AM
getting flipped off by the president is now a higher honor than a nobel prize. it’s only a matter of time before he flips himself off
Reposted by OfficeofSteve
knuckle tattoos are just vanity plates for your hands
January 14, 2026 at 11:16 AM
knuckle tattoos are just vanity plates for your hands