BG
@bgschnikelfritz.bsky.social
Lover of tacos, coffee, books, and naps
10: What’s ironic?
Me: *clears throat* It’s like rain on your wedding day. It's a free ride when you've already paid.
It's the good advice that you just didn't take. It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife…
10: Ok, that’s enough
Me: *clears throat* It’s like rain on your wedding day. It's a free ride when you've already paid.
It's the good advice that you just didn't take. It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife…
10: Ok, that’s enough
February 17, 2025 at 1:02 AM
10: What’s ironic?
Me: *clears throat* It’s like rain on your wedding day. It's a free ride when you've already paid.
It's the good advice that you just didn't take. It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife…
10: Ok, that’s enough
Me: *clears throat* It’s like rain on your wedding day. It's a free ride when you've already paid.
It's the good advice that you just didn't take. It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife…
10: Ok, that’s enough
Reposted by BG
I spend a lot of time alone because my mind tells me I’m unwelcome anywhere else
January 30, 2025 at 1:28 AM
I spend a lot of time alone because my mind tells me I’m unwelcome anywhere else
Call me Hansel and Gretel because I’ve been breadcrumbed
January 29, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Call me Hansel and Gretel because I’ve been breadcrumbed
Reposted by BG
I just want to eat tacos until I gain a will to live.
January 28, 2025 at 11:10 PM
I just want to eat tacos until I gain a will to live.
Reposted by BG
What color cape goes best with camo pants? I don't wanna look stupid on this job interview
January 28, 2025 at 12:00 PM
What color cape goes best with camo pants? I don't wanna look stupid on this job interview
Reposted by BG
sexting is like describing every course of a delicious breakfast while I'm extremely hungry then I gotta go make it myself and be like oh this food you made is so delicious. make it make sense
January 27, 2025 at 1:35 PM
sexting is like describing every course of a delicious breakfast while I'm extremely hungry then I gotta go make it myself and be like oh this food you made is so delicious. make it make sense
I’ve decided to mark every Valentine’s ad I see as offensive
January 27, 2025 at 2:28 PM
I’ve decided to mark every Valentine’s ad I see as offensive
There’s a guy on TikTok singing Drops of Jupiter to Usha Vance and I can’t even get a text back
January 24, 2025 at 5:51 PM
There’s a guy on TikTok singing Drops of Jupiter to Usha Vance and I can’t even get a text back
Happy Friday the 13th!! Don’t break any black cats or walk under any mirrors.
December 13, 2024 at 2:00 PM
Happy Friday the 13th!! Don’t break any black cats or walk under any mirrors.
Reposted by BG
Has your stomach ever sounded like two whales having a conversation or is that just me
November 14, 2024 at 12:45 AM
Has your stomach ever sounded like two whales having a conversation or is that just me
Reposted by BG
me: I just want 2 minutes of privacy in the bathroom
my kid: best I can do is a paleontology lecture
my kid: best I can do is a paleontology lecture
November 14, 2024 at 3:26 PM
me: I just want 2 minutes of privacy in the bathroom
my kid: best I can do is a paleontology lecture
my kid: best I can do is a paleontology lecture
Reposted by BG
With each new social media I join, the less funny I am
July 11, 2023 at 11:17 PM
With each new social media I join, the less funny I am
Can I hang out here for a bit?
September 6, 2024 at 7:40 PM
Can I hang out here for a bit?
A haunted house but it’s just a coffee shop selling only decaf
October 16, 2023 at 3:38 PM
A haunted house but it’s just a coffee shop selling only decaf
Happy Autumnal Equinox!!!! Don’t forget to frolic naked outside tonight
September 23, 2023 at 7:28 PM
Happy Autumnal Equinox!!!! Don’t forget to frolic naked outside tonight
Why does she need titties when she has the witties?
August 5, 2023 at 3:46 PM
Why does she need titties when she has the witties?
Reposted by BG
The Food Network is my favorite porn site
July 24, 2023 at 7:36 PM
The Food Network is my favorite porn site
No need to print off a confirmation page. I’ll just screenshot it and keep for all eternity
July 23, 2023 at 4:31 AM
No need to print off a confirmation page. I’ll just screenshot it and keep for all eternity
I am too old to be calling anyone a “boyfriend.” Next guy I get serious with will be my gentleman caller
July 19, 2023 at 2:50 PM
I am too old to be calling anyone a “boyfriend.” Next guy I get serious with will be my gentleman caller
Have people started showing their buttholes here yet?
July 13, 2023 at 2:08 AM
Have people started showing their buttholes here yet?
Reposted by BG
when she finally says you can sniff the tiddy sweat
July 7, 2023 at 11:50 PM
when she finally says you can sniff the tiddy sweat