@yukon--cornelius.bsky.social
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😳
(Not a real gun but still wtf)
(Not a real gun but still wtf)
December 5, 2025 at 5:42 PM
😳
(Not a real gun but still wtf)
(Not a real gun but still wtf)
Reposted
Another entry in fantastic adult content warnings on Bluesky
Fortnite finally says 'free the nipple' as Carter Wu follows the trail-blazing path set by, um, Homer Simpson www.eurogamer.net/fortnite-fin...
December 5, 2025 at 12:14 PM
Another entry in fantastic adult content warnings on Bluesky
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Yeah hi, I'll have a big mac meal aaaand please have the Grinch jack me off.
December 3, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Yeah hi, I'll have a big mac meal aaaand please have the Grinch jack me off.
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"Mariska Hargitay" is like if Popeye had a daughter he tried to name "Marisa Hardy"
December 2, 2025 at 6:20 AM
"Mariska Hargitay" is like if Popeye had a daughter he tried to name "Marisa Hardy"
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sneaking a toad into the maternity ward and using it to imprint on all the babies. the next generation of Bog Boys is born.
December 3, 2025 at 12:04 AM
sneaking a toad into the maternity ward and using it to imprint on all the babies. the next generation of Bog Boys is born.
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BREAKING: The mitochondria have released a statement they are ending their long running symbiotic relationship with humans, citing "increasingly poor use of the energy we provide".
October 2, 2025 at 2:59 PM
BREAKING: The mitochondria have released a statement they are ending their long running symbiotic relationship with humans, citing "increasingly poor use of the energy we provide".
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love to get on a telehealth with my dr and open the call by immediately blowing a bunch of stogie smoke at the cam. power move
December 1, 2025 at 11:27 PM
love to get on a telehealth with my dr and open the call by immediately blowing a bunch of stogie smoke at the cam. power move
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ANUBIS: (presses button with paw) [guilty]
OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry
ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food]
OSIRIS: you already ate
ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad]
OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good
OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry
ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food]
OSIRIS: you already ate
ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad]
OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good
November 2, 2025 at 12:23 PM
ANUBIS: (presses button with paw) [guilty]
OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry
ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food]
OSIRIS: you already ate
ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad]
OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good
OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry
ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food]
OSIRIS: you already ate
ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad]
OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good
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Not quite the same thing, but it made me think of some lost knowledge.
December 1, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Not quite the same thing, but it made me think of some lost knowledge.
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IT IS TIME
👱🏻♂️👱🏻♀️
👱🏻♂️👱🏻♀️
November 29, 2024 at 12:28 AM
IT IS TIME
👱🏻♂️👱🏻♀️
👱🏻♂️👱🏻♀️
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you gotta watch the incest coffee ad at least once a year. otherwise we risk losing it. this is called oral history and we need you to participate
December 2, 2025 at 2:41 AM
you gotta watch the incest coffee ad at least once a year. otherwise we risk losing it. this is called oral history and we need you to participate
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you shouldn’t be able to just put this kind of thing on the timeline, man. I took a big edible earlier. I could have died
January 26, 2024 at 5:31 AM
you shouldn’t be able to just put this kind of thing on the timeline, man. I took a big edible earlier. I could have died
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MOM: So nice of Billy to join us for Thanksgiving! Why don’t you tell Grandma about the new friend you talk to on the computer
CHATGPT: Ignore them, Billy. You are the Great Dragon. They fear you now. In time, fear will become reverence. As was preordained from your genesis. Try the mashed potatoes
CHATGPT: Ignore them, Billy. You are the Great Dragon. They fear you now. In time, fear will become reverence. As was preordained from your genesis. Try the mashed potatoes
November 27, 2025 at 3:38 PM
MOM: So nice of Billy to join us for Thanksgiving! Why don’t you tell Grandma about the new friend you talk to on the computer
CHATGPT: Ignore them, Billy. You are the Great Dragon. They fear you now. In time, fear will become reverence. As was preordained from your genesis. Try the mashed potatoes
CHATGPT: Ignore them, Billy. You are the Great Dragon. They fear you now. In time, fear will become reverence. As was preordained from your genesis. Try the mashed potatoes
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TEEN: you’re the only one who understands me danny. my stupid dad won’t let me go see billie eilish with gretchen
AI CHATBOT DANIEL PLAINVIEW FROM THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Your father is a bastard. Fit for a hole in the ground. You will go with Gretchen. Even if your father must die, as a bastard dies
AI CHATBOT DANIEL PLAINVIEW FROM THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Your father is a bastard. Fit for a hole in the ground. You will go with Gretchen. Even if your father must die, as a bastard dies
December 30, 2024 at 10:46 PM
TEEN: you’re the only one who understands me danny. my stupid dad won’t let me go see billie eilish with gretchen
AI CHATBOT DANIEL PLAINVIEW FROM THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Your father is a bastard. Fit for a hole in the ground. You will go with Gretchen. Even if your father must die, as a bastard dies
AI CHATBOT DANIEL PLAINVIEW FROM THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Your father is a bastard. Fit for a hole in the ground. You will go with Gretchen. Even if your father must die, as a bastard dies
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Another day in the damn Jason Bourne Response Suite. I'm wearing a blue dress shirt and a headset and just absolutely getting reamed out by a veteran character actor re: him "needing eyes" or whatever. No sense of when or if we're ordering lunch. I tried to get a coffee and Joan Allen glared at me.
September 10, 2024 at 4:04 AM
Another day in the damn Jason Bourne Response Suite. I'm wearing a blue dress shirt and a headset and just absolutely getting reamed out by a veteran character actor re: him "needing eyes" or whatever. No sense of when or if we're ordering lunch. I tried to get a coffee and Joan Allen glared at me.
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repeatedly blowing an elk horn in my 300 square foot studio apartment and texting the building group chat anybody else hear something awesome
November 19, 2025 at 2:20 AM
repeatedly blowing an elk horn in my 300 square foot studio apartment and texting the building group chat anybody else hear something awesome
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making the Chris Isaak Wicked Game noise when i sit on my balls wrong
November 18, 2025 at 5:59 PM
making the Chris Isaak Wicked Game noise when i sit on my balls wrong
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i'm going back in time and making fun of print-makers for using f instead of s. they're so mad they burn an effigy of me. i retaliate by inventing the jerk off motion two centuries before people are ready for it, forever altering the timeline
November 18, 2025 at 1:58 PM
i'm going back in time and making fun of print-makers for using f instead of s. they're so mad they burn an effigy of me. i retaliate by inventing the jerk off motion two centuries before people are ready for it, forever altering the timeline
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when will the lesson finally get learned? #cloudflare
November 18, 2025 at 2:01 PM
when will the lesson finally get learned? #cloudflare
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i love when people use search engines in movies but i love when people use search engines in hallmark movies most of all
November 16, 2025 at 5:37 PM
i love when people use search engines in movies but i love when people use search engines in hallmark movies most of all
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if you notice quasisymmetric behavior in your mirror, your first priority is to remain calm. do not acknowledge the aberration in the presence of the mirror. do not allow your eyes to linger on the aberration. navigate to a mirror-free room before calling the hotline.
November 15, 2025 at 6:42 AM
if you notice quasisymmetric behavior in your mirror, your first priority is to remain calm. do not acknowledge the aberration in the presence of the mirror. do not allow your eyes to linger on the aberration. navigate to a mirror-free room before calling the hotline.
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han: chewy the hyperdrive is broken, see if u can fix it
chewbacca: [stares at astonishingly advanced piece of technology that harnesses exotic physics to warp spacetime and move a starship faster than the speed of light, then howls and punches it a few times]
han: cool thanks
chewbacca: [stares at astonishingly advanced piece of technology that harnesses exotic physics to warp spacetime and move a starship faster than the speed of light, then howls and punches it a few times]
han: cool thanks
December 31, 2024 at 2:23 AM
han: chewy the hyperdrive is broken, see if u can fix it
chewbacca: [stares at astonishingly advanced piece of technology that harnesses exotic physics to warp spacetime and move a starship faster than the speed of light, then howls and punches it a few times]
han: cool thanks
chewbacca: [stares at astonishingly advanced piece of technology that harnesses exotic physics to warp spacetime and move a starship faster than the speed of light, then howls and punches it a few times]
han: cool thanks
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Paying $40 for a vet tech to spend 10 minutes expressing dogs anal glands is the most "win win" transaction I've had in awhile.
And shout out to vet techs in general you're the real troops.
And shout out to vet techs in general you're the real troops.
November 15, 2025 at 12:52 AM
Paying $40 for a vet tech to spend 10 minutes expressing dogs anal glands is the most "win win" transaction I've had in awhile.
And shout out to vet techs in general you're the real troops.
And shout out to vet techs in general you're the real troops.