greg2hats
cyberbadboy.com
greg2hats
@cyberbadboy.com
PhD in Yo Momma
Pinned
I'm pregnant from an elf
My kids got a triangular prism Rubik's cube and they "solved" it by somehow removing all the colored faces and reattaching them with one color on each side
December 26, 2025 at 6:49 PM
My son is reading a book about a bear attack and I asked if it was in Japan but his book isn't about the Sankebetsu bear incident. It's about a different bear incident
December 25, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Butternut squash...what a seasonal delight
December 24, 2025 at 3:28 AM
My daughter said she liked that the boy and girl characters in zootopia 2 didn't become a couple so I went on a long lecture about how she's describing heteronormativity and it's this pervasive destructive set of expectations are prescriptive rather than descriptive. She said yeah plus it's annoying
December 21, 2025 at 11:54 PM
I'm going to the store to get my kids some scratchers for Christmas. If you need something else to get mad at
December 21, 2025 at 10:23 PM
God and sinners reconciled? Nah nah nah
December 20, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Reposted by greg2hats
"megachurches are shen yun for white people" is an incredible and damning true statement
for all people make fun of falun gong, it's wild how much this is basically the same thing as shen yun
December 19, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Reposted by greg2hats
I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons
December 18, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Reposted by greg2hats
*smashes the buzzer so hard it shatters into a million pieces* WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU’D SAY IN BED
December 18, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Reddit movie discussions have the same kind of "wait why do you like this if you don't understand it at all" as Onion reply riffs but I loled at "I like the movie because it has a fantastic moon." I disagree that Pandora is one but I can agree that having a fantastic moon is important.
December 18, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Trump and his guys have given us some of the best photographs of a mood I'm calling "deflated unto death." It's not suffering and it's not annoyance. It's Ben affleck cigarette as you approach the limit where your body starts breaking down from it
Photographer Christopher Anderson captures Marco Rubio looking down into hell, as if puzzling out which circle he'll be in.
December 17, 2025 at 6:49 PM
as a "cool uncle" i ordered my niece and nephew some art from these shops: www.inprnt.com/gallery/anya... by @anyachalina.bsky.social and from www.inprnt.com/gallery/katt... a print by @garin.bsky.social . You should check them out!
December 17, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Reposted by greg2hats
If anyone at Mixpanel wants to respond to any of the emails (including the 19+ specific questions) we've sent to CEO Jen Taylor about the company's data breach, please get in touch.

You can reach me at zack.whittaker@techcrunch.com or email me back from any of the messages we've sent!
With news that the data breach at web and phone analytics giant Mixpanel includes the viewing habits of Pornhub users, here's my TechCrunch story from early December about why this data breach is a big deal — and what sort of data Mixpanel tracks about millions of ordinary people every day.
A data breach at analytics giant Mixpanel leaves a lot of open questions | TechCrunch
We sent over a dozen questions to Mixpanel's CEO about the company's data breach. Here's what we want to know.
techcrunch.com
December 17, 2025 at 4:15 PM
ill be real with you. i do not fw this
December 15, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Reposted by greg2hats
this is what I look like when I'm checking my email on another screen while I'm on a video call for work
November 26, 2025 at 12:37 PM
I need an elfstone so bad I don't even care if it's from Shannara
December 15, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Reposted by greg2hats
for the love of god, Montresor,
you’re going to make me cum!!!
December 14, 2025 at 10:15 PM
On these dark, cold winter nights it's so nice to listen in as my children gather around the hearth to discuss how much damage different items do
December 14, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Taking a sick day on Monday. I feel fine now I just anticipate being pretty run down after starting for the Colts on Sunday.
December 13, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Getting a handjob while watching Sonic the Hedgehog _from_ Sonic the Hedhgehog.
Raising the always fun question: What are your most memorable theater-going experiences?

Mine also include The Matrix, Blair Witch, and being way too stoned in Belgium when Fellowship of the Ring was sold out so we sat in the back row for Mulholland Drive instead.
It was hands-down one of the most memorable theater-going experiences I can remember, a collective 30-minute butt-clench/armrest-grab for the final climb. And we knew he lived! Wild.
December 13, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Reposted by greg2hats
Me: I have the kind of raw intelligence that makes everything in life a breeze. No big deal.

Me when I see a headline that’s like, “Judge stays motion to overturn blocked ban”: Only one person could ever possibly understand what this means. I’ll give you a hint. His first name was Albert
August 23, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Discovered a new way to annoy my kids today. When my teen daughter says she's not a kid I say yeah but you're still a minorrrr
December 12, 2025 at 5:14 AM
I'm allergic to the bullshit and it's actually pretty debilitating. Tapas, mocktails, white elephant gift parties, Movember....it's a constant battle to manage my condition.
December 12, 2025 at 5:02 AM
Something I lowkey fw is eating a big raw white mushroom. Nothing going on there taste wise, kind of a default gesture toward a texture but certainly not several. I imagine this is what it's like when a skeleton eats food and it just falls down through their bones.
December 11, 2025 at 7:18 PM
i heard an ad for Palantir on a podcast and the tagline was "making Americans irreplaceable." can you guys blow the dogwhistle a little quieter, its hurting my ears.
December 11, 2025 at 6:12 PM