jawbroken
@jawbroken.bsky.social
Reposted by jawbroken
Jeremy Renner has been hit by another snowplow - this time, a metaphorical one as he faces allegations of racist sexual harassment
November 9, 2025 at 8:41 AM
Jeremy Renner has been hit by another snowplow - this time, a metaphorical one as he faces allegations of racist sexual harassment
Reposted by jawbroken
(crouching in front of a dog tied up outside a coffee shop) who are they to restrain you? what right do they have? what laws have you broken? can the jailor ever truly know a prisoner's heart?
(releasing the dog and it runs directly into traffic) ah divine judgment, fickle fate
(releasing the dog and it runs directly into traffic) ah divine judgment, fickle fate
July 24, 2023 at 4:34 PM
(crouching in front of a dog tied up outside a coffee shop) who are they to restrain you? what right do they have? what laws have you broken? can the jailor ever truly know a prisoner's heart?
(releasing the dog and it runs directly into traffic) ah divine judgment, fickle fate
(releasing the dog and it runs directly into traffic) ah divine judgment, fickle fate
Reposted by jawbroken
[doing muffled woody Allen voice while sucking my own dick] it tastes terrible. And such small portions
June 2, 2023 at 2:45 PM
[doing muffled woody Allen voice while sucking my own dick] it tastes terrible. And such small portions
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New therapist asked me in our first appointment what I'd like to work on. I said, "Uhh how about... my own tropical private island?? LOL!!!!!! 🤣!!!!!!" But anyway it was suicidal ideation.
October 16, 2025 at 2:21 AM
New therapist asked me in our first appointment what I'd like to work on. I said, "Uhh how about... my own tropical private island?? LOL!!!!!! 🤣!!!!!!" But anyway it was suicidal ideation.
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That's mighty interesting, squirt. Now let me tell you a better story my buddy Murray Cassatt told me, over a chef's table tasting menu
October 15, 2025 at 12:54 AM
That's mighty interesting, squirt. Now let me tell you a better story my buddy Murray Cassatt told me, over a chef's table tasting menu
Reposted by jawbroken
September 27, 2025 at 4:37 AM
seeing Jimeoin on the Riyadh Comedy Festival lineup made me laugh for some reason
October 3, 2025 at 6:43 AM
seeing Jimeoin on the Riyadh Comedy Festival lineup made me laugh for some reason
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AI GUY: I listen to an AI podcast that gives me tips on which lottery numbers are best to pick. I listen at 2x speed so I can listen to twice as many episodes.
Me: Disgusting. I listen to podcasts about which lottery numbers are best to pick made by actual people. And I listen at 0.25 speed
Me: Disgusting. I listen to podcasts about which lottery numbers are best to pick made by actual people. And I listen at 0.25 speed
September 10, 2025 at 1:26 AM
AI GUY: I listen to an AI podcast that gives me tips on which lottery numbers are best to pick. I listen at 2x speed so I can listen to twice as many episodes.
Me: Disgusting. I listen to podcasts about which lottery numbers are best to pick made by actual people. And I listen at 0.25 speed
Me: Disgusting. I listen to podcasts about which lottery numbers are best to pick made by actual people. And I listen at 0.25 speed
Reposted by jawbroken
My review of Gremlins 2: The New Batch on Letterboxd boxd.it/aTXRF5
August 29, 2025 at 5:30 PM
My review of Gremlins 2: The New Batch on Letterboxd boxd.it/aTXRF5
Reposted by jawbroken
(responding to pause in spouse's story without having listened)
Oh yeah babe, that person is (calculating educated guess) such a fucking prick. You should really (calculating, calculating, calculating educated guess) kill them at work.
Oh yeah babe, that person is (calculating educated guess) such a fucking prick. You should really (calculating, calculating, calculating educated guess) kill them at work.
August 18, 2025 at 5:58 PM
(responding to pause in spouse's story without having listened)
Oh yeah babe, that person is (calculating educated guess) such a fucking prick. You should really (calculating, calculating, calculating educated guess) kill them at work.
Oh yeah babe, that person is (calculating educated guess) such a fucking prick. You should really (calculating, calculating, calculating educated guess) kill them at work.
Reposted by jawbroken
it was an honor to do some voice acting and animation for this funny ass vid
Watch the full journey unfold in stunning 4k on our YouTube... Okay, I love you!
I Just Spent All My Money on a Boulder in the United States
YouTube video by Funny Lifestyle
www.youtube.com
August 14, 2025 at 5:05 PM
it was an honor to do some voice acting and animation for this funny ass vid
Reposted by jawbroken
Finally getting around to opening the mail intended for a previous tenant. Really in love with the idea of someone who finally flips the calendar to a new page and is pleasantly stimulated by a completely new picture of a violin.
August 14, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Finally getting around to opening the mail intended for a previous tenant. Really in love with the idea of someone who finally flips the calendar to a new page and is pleasantly stimulated by a completely new picture of a violin.
Reposted by jawbroken
I NEVER sit with my back to a door, I ALWAYS open carry when walking my dog off leash, I ONLY wear jorts that fall below the knee, and I WILL marry your sister for just over six months. Oh and our registry has a deepfake nude poster of Jessica Alba from Sin City. If you haven't bought anything yet.
July 31, 2025 at 5:48 AM
I NEVER sit with my back to a door, I ALWAYS open carry when walking my dog off leash, I ONLY wear jorts that fall below the knee, and I WILL marry your sister for just over six months. Oh and our registry has a deepfake nude poster of Jessica Alba from Sin City. If you haven't bought anything yet.
Reposted by jawbroken
ANNOUNCEMENT: I have created a zine. It’s called JOIN THE NUMBSKULL CLUB. It’s got stories and bits and lists and jokes and poems and art. It comes with a free bonus sticker. You can buy it at numbskull.club
July 21, 2025 at 8:15 PM
ANNOUNCEMENT: I have created a zine. It’s called JOIN THE NUMBSKULL CLUB. It’s got stories and bits and lists and jokes and poems and art. It comes with a free bonus sticker. You can buy it at numbskull.club
Reposted by jawbroken
Bluesky is a place for making friends
July 22, 2025 at 3:59 PM
Bluesky is a place for making friends
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Corporate incels telling on themselves today. Imagine not taking your work-wife to a Coldplay concert. Imagine not respecting C-Suite women.
July 17, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Corporate incels telling on themselves today. Imagine not taking your work-wife to a Coldplay concert. Imagine not respecting C-Suite women.
Reposted by jawbroken
hey great theorem man, I'll definitely factor it into my calculations
*gives my buddies a No Way In Hell Am I Ever Factoring That Theorem Into My Calculations look*
*gives my buddies a No Way In Hell Am I Ever Factoring That Theorem Into My Calculations look*
July 14, 2025 at 4:25 AM
hey great theorem man, I'll definitely factor it into my calculations
*gives my buddies a No Way In Hell Am I Ever Factoring That Theorem Into My Calculations look*
*gives my buddies a No Way In Hell Am I Ever Factoring That Theorem Into My Calculations look*
Reposted by jawbroken
times are tough for the car food reviewers but i think this idea has legs youtube.com/shorts/klYyw...
GRAND THEFT FOOD REVIEW Ep1 SELENA GOMEZ OREO
YouTube video by jeb haus (dr_jeb)
youtube.com
June 22, 2025 at 3:11 PM
times are tough for the car food reviewers but i think this idea has legs youtube.com/shorts/klYyw...
Reposted by jawbroken
page from a 2020 zine i found while looking for something else
June 17, 2025 at 2:23 AM
page from a 2020 zine i found while looking for something else
Reposted by jawbroken
we love our helpful little AI robot (✧ω✧) !
but be careful: it's very sexist (；д；)
it will make our jobs easier (♥ε♥)
make sure to not listen to it when it only tells you to hire men!
but be careful: it's very sexist (；д；)
it will make our jobs easier (♥ε♥)
make sure to not listen to it when it only tells you to hire men!
June 14, 2025 at 12:10 AM
we love our helpful little AI robot (✧ω✧) !
but be careful: it's very sexist (；д；)
it will make our jobs easier (♥ε♥)
make sure to not listen to it when it only tells you to hire men!
but be careful: it's very sexist (；д；)
it will make our jobs easier (♥ε♥)
make sure to not listen to it when it only tells you to hire men!
Reposted by jawbroken
your 20s are about finding yourself. your 30s are about doing coke a little less. your 40s are finally finding a good barber. your 50s are about taking a surf lesson. your 60s & 70s are talking about how old you are in womens mentions on bluesky. And your 80s are about making Gladiator 2.
May 16, 2025 at 10:29 PM
your 20s are about finding yourself. your 30s are about doing coke a little less. your 40s are finally finding a good barber. your 50s are about taking a surf lesson. your 60s & 70s are talking about how old you are in womens mentions on bluesky. And your 80s are about making Gladiator 2.
Reposted by jawbroken
tfw jawbroken is almost caught up to the present >>>
April 26, 2025 at 9:29 PM
tfw jawbroken is almost caught up to the present >>>
Reposted by jawbroken
Fuck This. I've never done anything bad in the world
April 23, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Fuck This. I've never done anything bad in the world