jims
@jims.bsky.social
i'd tickle a fish if the wet chime of its laughter could heal us
Pinned
jims
@jims.bsky.social
· Jan 25
taught a slime mold heliocentrism and now it grows in concentric circles. an expression of reverence? who can say
doing the tom cruise run straight towards you. i am clearly terrified. every time you blink i get farther away. somewhere in the world a goose honks, but no one is around to hear it
October 12, 2025 at 6:28 PM
doing the tom cruise run straight towards you. i am clearly terrified. every time you blink i get farther away. somewhere in the world a goose honks, but no one is around to hear it
spooky season has been suspended. frivolity has no place in this dojo
going spooky mode for the first time ever, pfp choice courtesy of bsky's premiere monster wrangler @weedlejuice.bsky.social
October 9, 2025 at 8:10 AM
spooky season has been suspended. frivolity has no place in this dojo
do i fear rice? yes. fear marks a healthy respect; with respect comes understanding. in order to temper and tame the grain, you must subject it to Various Flavours. saffron... coconut... coriander and lemon... these are the songs that soothe the beast. understand this, and you may kiss my rude son
October 5, 2025 at 10:46 AM
do i fear rice? yes. fear marks a healthy respect; with respect comes understanding. in order to temper and tame the grain, you must subject it to Various Flavours. saffron... coconut... coriander and lemon... these are the songs that soothe the beast. understand this, and you may kiss my rude son
the moon blinked. instant, easy to miss, but i saw it. now she sees me. the veil has been lifted, that forbidden covenant between man and moon broken; never peek behind the curtain, never know her for what she truly is. now she stares death. oblivion approaches, rising with her hateful tides. lmao
October 2, 2025 at 3:58 PM
the moon blinked. instant, easy to miss, but i saw it. now she sees me. the veil has been lifted, that forbidden covenant between man and moon broken; never peek behind the curtain, never know her for what she truly is. now she stares death. oblivion approaches, rising with her hateful tides. lmao
going spooky mode for the first time ever, pfp choice courtesy of bsky's premiere monster wrangler @weedlejuice.bsky.social
October 2, 2025 at 11:47 AM
going spooky mode for the first time ever, pfp choice courtesy of bsky's premiere monster wrangler @weedlejuice.bsky.social
watching an episode of god's own corn-fed, high budget, prestige television. a scene plays out and the main chsracter is drunk; the cinematography, warped sound, the actor's performance? perfect sell, it's like i was there. then peppa pig ended and i realized it was in fact i who am drunk. namaste
September 29, 2025 at 1:00 PM
watching an episode of god's own corn-fed, high budget, prestige television. a scene plays out and the main chsracter is drunk; the cinematography, warped sound, the actor's performance? perfect sell, it's like i was there. then peppa pig ended and i realized it was in fact i who am drunk. namaste
this nonna inspires fear in her sapient meatballs! click here to discover her secrets! hit subscribe to learn how she keeps a nation of pork and apple meatballs oppressed under her iron fist! executions! youth indoctrination! her authoritarian kitchen methods will change how you see dinner forever!
September 28, 2025 at 1:00 PM
this nonna inspires fear in her sapient meatballs! click here to discover her secrets! hit subscribe to learn how she keeps a nation of pork and apple meatballs oppressed under her iron fist! executions! youth indoctrination! her authoritarian kitchen methods will change how you see dinner forever!
feeling grandfather time gnawing at my bones, like rats swarming an overly verbose slice of new york style pizza. every hangover is being born again into slightly sourer meat, every missed hour of sleep magnified through a curved pane of that cruelest of hourglasses; we wither like ants in the glare
September 28, 2025 at 12:53 PM
feeling grandfather time gnawing at my bones, like rats swarming an overly verbose slice of new york style pizza. every hangover is being born again into slightly sourer meat, every missed hour of sleep magnified through a curved pane of that cruelest of hourglasses; we wither like ants in the glare
today marks my 32nd orbit around our benevolent god-sun, basking in it's warm gaze like a lizard on a hot rock. my only wish is that we all find kindness in each other but also maybe instead of feet we just have another set of hands so i can flip the cops off with twice as much power. quad bird, pig
September 27, 2025 at 12:37 AM
today marks my 32nd orbit around our benevolent god-sun, basking in it's warm gaze like a lizard on a hot rock. my only wish is that we all find kindness in each other but also maybe instead of feet we just have another set of hands so i can flip the cops off with twice as much power. quad bird, pig
central maintenance has me in the pacific office this week, gotta change the ink cartridges in all the squids. it's a huge job but the benefits are alright; free room and board, plus they let me touch the Prophet Octopus who keeps correctly predicting the precise time and date of celebrity deaths
September 23, 2025 at 1:58 PM
central maintenance has me in the pacific office this week, gotta change the ink cartridges in all the squids. it's a huge job but the benefits are alright; free room and board, plus they let me touch the Prophet Octopus who keeps correctly predicting the precise time and date of celebrity deaths
my large adult son wields the stout lips of a concert trombonist. our city, upon condemning a building, employs him to kiss it into dust. every earthly smooch digs a quarry, every peck on the cheek a gouge in the fabric of our reality. once saw the boy kiss a ostrich into a meatball. it haunts me
September 15, 2025 at 8:05 PM
my large adult son wields the stout lips of a concert trombonist. our city, upon condemning a building, employs him to kiss it into dust. every earthly smooch digs a quarry, every peck on the cheek a gouge in the fabric of our reality. once saw the boy kiss a ostrich into a meatball. it haunts me
they're rehydrating me tomorrow, raisin-into-a-grape kinda situation. apparently we're pretty much dessicated compared to our naturally intended wet/meat ratio - every single person on earth, yeah. no one even knows what a fully hydrated man would be capable of, but... shit. it's a new day, brother.
September 15, 2025 at 7:14 PM
they're rehydrating me tomorrow, raisin-into-a-grape kinda situation. apparently we're pretty much dessicated compared to our naturally intended wet/meat ratio - every single person on earth, yeah. no one even knows what a fully hydrated man would be capable of, but... shit. it's a new day, brother.
can't open this jar with my sickly little arms. if they could, they would gasp in the tones of a mourning dove. i need thunderous arms; limbs that would roar with the inevitability of waterfalls, the primal scream of a dying star. jorking it with these arms must rip my whole entire shit clean off,
September 15, 2025 at 1:32 AM
can't open this jar with my sickly little arms. if they could, they would gasp in the tones of a mourning dove. i need thunderous arms; limbs that would roar with the inevitability of waterfalls, the primal scream of a dying star. jorking it with these arms must rip my whole entire shit clean off,
Reposted by jims
i've managed to capture the moment. i hope my portrayal of allisson and their sneezed up guy is satisfactory
September 2, 2025 at 12:25 PM
i've managed to capture the moment. i hope my portrayal of allisson and their sneezed up guy is satisfactory
twelve donkeys sputter and clank, belching greasy steam as hoove-wheels grind the cobblestones. such beasts are well sought-after, entire convoys could run kegheads of milker dew across the saltplains and back without spilling a drop. 'milker dew' comes from dads; it's important you understand this,
August 30, 2025 at 8:54 PM
twelve donkeys sputter and clank, belching greasy steam as hoove-wheels grind the cobblestones. such beasts are well sought-after, entire convoys could run kegheads of milker dew across the saltplains and back without spilling a drop. 'milker dew' comes from dads; it's important you understand this,
seamlessly re-integrating into the bsky ecosystem after spending 3 weeks faking infancy and a terminal diagnosis of waterslide ass. the Make A Wish foundation granted me a most intimate wish; to boil dr phil alive in molten caramel, to graze upon his sweetened fibres. cash me outside, howbout dat
August 28, 2025 at 5:34 PM
seamlessly re-integrating into the bsky ecosystem after spending 3 weeks faking infancy and a terminal diagnosis of waterslide ass. the Make A Wish foundation granted me a most intimate wish; to boil dr phil alive in molten caramel, to graze upon his sweetened fibres. cash me outside, howbout dat
our interview continued; "a salad can be a man," she mutters, barely above a whisper. "a salad can be two men. two lithe twinks kissing in a bathtub, maybe with a light lemon vinaigrette..." she trailed off, lapsing into a contemplative silence
August 28, 2025 at 4:45 PM
our interview continued; "a salad can be a man," she mutters, barely above a whisper. "a salad can be two men. two lithe twinks kissing in a bathtub, maybe with a light lemon vinaigrette..." she trailed off, lapsing into a contemplative silence
selective husbandry has allowed us to finally breed the ideal worm; perfectly spherical and plump as a plum. instead of dirt it burrows through the medium of your consciousness, consuming the omnipresent darkness within and expelling only pure, euphoric thought. it makes a honk noise when squeezed,
August 8, 2025 at 1:24 PM
selective husbandry has allowed us to finally breed the ideal worm; perfectly spherical and plump as a plum. instead of dirt it burrows through the medium of your consciousness, consuming the omnipresent darkness within and expelling only pure, euphoric thought. it makes a honk noise when squeezed,
oouuggh wish i ain't never ate that lay bee bo or whatsit, feelin real strange. y'all see fingers in the ice? tendrils that ain't quite flesh, clawing through the glacial plane of space that keeps our reality from the next? i hear em scratching at the walls, only i'm outside and there ain't no walls
caught me one of them lay boo boos y'all been talkin bout by the grain silo, fella was gnawin his way inside like a tick. did the critter up with some butter and old bay, tell you what you cityfolk are on to something. only thing is i can hear the eternal chorus of night now, never dims. never slows
August 7, 2025 at 3:13 PM
oouuggh wish i ain't never ate that lay bee bo or whatsit, feelin real strange. y'all see fingers in the ice? tendrils that ain't quite flesh, clawing through the glacial plane of space that keeps our reality from the next? i hear em scratching at the walls, only i'm outside and there ain't no walls
at the supermarket acknowledging prime cuts. hello rib eye, you are seen. tenderloin? namaste, i feel you. really. hey rib rack, looking good brother! ohhh, new york strip? better than old york strip, y'know what i'm saying haha up top big fella. i will piece you together and build a new husband,
July 29, 2025 at 1:29 AM
at the supermarket acknowledging prime cuts. hello rib eye, you are seen. tenderloin? namaste, i feel you. really. hey rib rack, looking good brother! ohhh, new york strip? better than old york strip, y'know what i'm saying haha up top big fella. i will piece you together and build a new husband,
caught me one of them lay boo boos y'all been talkin bout by the grain silo, fella was gnawin his way inside like a tick. did the critter up with some butter and old bay, tell you what you cityfolk are on to something. only thing is i can hear the eternal chorus of night now, never dims. never slows
July 28, 2025 at 3:43 AM
caught me one of them lay boo boos y'all been talkin bout by the grain silo, fella was gnawin his way inside like a tick. did the critter up with some butter and old bay, tell you what you cityfolk are on to something. only thing is i can hear the eternal chorus of night now, never dims. never slows
they're building spires now. millions of twisted, concrete spearheads, thrusting into the sky like an assault on god itself. maybe some hubristic manifestation of strength? we pose our questions but receive only silence, an amphibian blink if we're lucky. the toads' spires eclipse our largest cities
July 27, 2025 at 6:55 PM
they're building spires now. millions of twisted, concrete spearheads, thrusting into the sky like an assault on god itself. maybe some hubristic manifestation of strength? we pose our questions but receive only silence, an amphibian blink if we're lucky. the toads' spires eclipse our largest cities
mutual msaturday; my large adult son is looking for love! if you have large adult offspring or are yourself a large adult offspring, please list their/your qualities and stats below, along with a proposed dowry. gender is irrelevant! may your proposed union strengthen both of our houses!
July 25, 2025 at 9:31 PM
mutual msaturday; my large adult son is looking for love! if you have large adult offspring or are yourself a large adult offspring, please list their/your qualities and stats below, along with a proposed dowry. gender is irrelevant! may your proposed union strengthen both of our houses!
my large adult son doesn't have a collapse depth. pressures at 1,000 times sea level are nothing to him, he just smiles and clicks his teeth. the navy are filling him with their smallest divers to go map a trench or something, he's a grown boy now so it's none of my business. i miss his mother
July 24, 2025 at 7:31 PM
my large adult son doesn't have a collapse depth. pressures at 1,000 times sea level are nothing to him, he just smiles and clicks his teeth. the navy are filling him with their smallest divers to go map a trench or something, he's a grown boy now so it's none of my business. i miss his mother
we have taught lizards' blood to defy newton's law of viscosity; any impact is met with turgid vascular ichor and iron resolve. a humble skink becomes a bulletproof god. why do this? foolish to ask. why does the wind blow fluted melodies across dead tree hollows, why does a rainbow capture the heart
July 22, 2025 at 6:55 PM
we have taught lizards' blood to defy newton's law of viscosity; any impact is met with turgid vascular ichor and iron resolve. a humble skink becomes a bulletproof god. why do this? foolish to ask. why does the wind blow fluted melodies across dead tree hollows, why does a rainbow capture the heart