Fustian Bargain
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waggishfox.bsky.social
Fustian Bargain
@waggishfox.bsky.social
37 followers 83 following 13 posts
Putting the "ass" in assiduous. 33. Gay. He/him. In a prison of my own creation.
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mbunchanumbers.bsky.social
We got Weird Al out here singing Killing In The Name, the time for moderation is over
December 6, 2025 at 2:45 PM
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bmhughes.bsky.social
This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥
December 1, 2025 at 11:09 AM
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wormmo.de
it's me, unnamed critter from bosch's triptych of the temptation of anthony!
me with a blue funnel like hat, with a stick out the top holding a red ball on a string. I have on a red capelet and am carrying a letter with calligraphy and a seal in my crooked beak. I've got a badge with a symbol on it the guy from the original painting that's got on my outfit except it's wearing tan turnshoes
November 1, 2025 at 12:16 AM
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danmynrd.bsky.social
AI sitcom accidentally a Lynchian fever dream. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and insane lament.
October 29, 2025 at 9:47 PM
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naomielizabeth.bsky.social
Happy leaf season
September 25, 2025 at 3:57 PM
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tuck.bsky.social
my roommate was trying to find the menu for a nearby bagel shop and instead found some of the most iconic slop I've ever seen. thanks food! :)
a green square that says "fast food meals. new phenomenon burger taste. $19.90. order via seamless" and in the corner is a non-euclidean cluster of chicken finger. a very normal 5-star review that says "I would be lost without restaurant. I would like to personally thank you for your outstanding product." - Nina Margaret, CEO apple. another normal review that says "without food, we would have gone bankrupt by now. thanks food! the service was excellent." John Doe, manager. an AI image of a pastrami sandwich. not to overuse the word non-euclidean but what else can I say to describe these layers of meat? this one also has some kind of yellow sauce leaking out of the bottom, and another yellow sauce being sensuously drizzled on top. in the lower right corner are baffling tubes that sort of look like if roasted carrots fucked a soft pretzel.
August 22, 2025 at 6:31 PM
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hellocullen.bsky.social
Scarborough fair fuckin sucks they got like 4 herbs
August 11, 2025 at 3:29 PM
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economeager.bsky.social
Oh so it does have phd level intelligence
victorshammas.com Victor Shammas @victorshammas.com · Aug 7
Google Gemini doesn’t appear to be doing too well:

‘"I am a disgrace to this planet. I am a disgrace to this universe. I am a disgrace to all universes . . . I am a disgrace to all possible and impossible universes and all that is not a universe," the bot continued.’
Google says it's working on a fix for Gemini's self-loathing 'I am a failure' comments
Google Gemini users said the bot is sharing self-loathing messages while attempting to solve tasks, including "I am a disgrace to this universe."
www.businessinsider.com
August 8, 2025 at 8:42 AM
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nedroid.com
In my experience there are three kinds of fantasy magic novels:
"There are three kinds of magic," said Wizzler, handing us each a balloon. "You can control tigers, you can shoot tornadoes from your fingers, or you can fly by holding your breath. The color of confetti inside your balloon will reveal which kind of power you have." I felt the panic rising in me. What if my confetti turned yellow, indicating that I was a Tiger-Talker? My family, a long line of proud Tornado-Fingers, would disown me. Could I ever return home, bearing such shame? I tried to calm myself as I readied the ceremonial safety pin. Green, I thought, willing my hopes into reality. Please be green. I popped the balloon, involuntarily shutting my eyes. When I opened them, would I see the green I hoped for? The yellow I feared? What if, gods forbid, the confetti were blue? I opened my eyes, seeing shock on the faces of my classmates. Wizzler himself stared at me, wide-eye. Looking down, I saw myself covered in confetti... purple confetti. “I don’t understand,” I growled, my body trembling with pain. “I combined eighty percent Earth-elemental mana with twenty percent Fire-elemental mana (Type B), focused through a twenty-four-sided icositetragon made of yellow topaz. This, in conjunction with my blood type, star sign, sense of humor, and nickname, should have produced a blazing column of lightning to vaporize my enemies. Instead, it made a big bubble that smells like fresh laundry. Why?” Skullgrumbler began to laugh. “You fool! You don’t even realize…” he squealed. “You’re facing east!” “It’s whatever you want,” explained Magemaster Grampledog. “Magic is just whatever you want.” I knew he was speaking in riddles, but I couldn’t grasp his hidden meaning. “So the rules are…” Grampledog lit a sliver of smokereed. “No rules. You say some words and you wave a stick and whatever you want just happens. You don’t even need the stick.” His wisdom still eluded me. I stared into his face, trying to decipher what he was really saying. “No, listen.” Grampledog snapped his fingers and his desk turned into a pile of chicken nuggets. “I didn’t even know that would happen.” His hat then came alive and began to yodel. “It’s pandemonium,” he explained. “It’s complete nonsense.”
July 28, 2025 at 4:49 PM
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amyuncut.bsky.social
ℹ️ If you frame-perfectly parry someone trying to frot with you, you can make them cum instantly
July 4, 2025 at 11:25 PM
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extrafabulous.bsky.social
July 1, 2025 at 3:03 PM
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simonpegg.bsky.social
Ever wondered what a trumpet would sound like in jelly?

Well, am I about to answer your question...
June 25, 2025 at 6:13 PM
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garrettgilchrist.bsky.social
NANCY PELOSI: We must find the next generation of Democratic leadership. Young, charismatic and exciting candidates who can energize the party. People that voters love because they're not 80 years old and sold out to big capital.

CHUCK SCHUMER (behind sniper rifle): Found one

PELOSI: Take the shot
June 24, 2025 at 6:23 AM
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geftokingmongoose.bsky.social
Quora Open in App Sign In Atheists, imagine you're a famous baseball player and are about to bat the winning hit. Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby at you. Would you still hit the baby out of the stadium and win millions, or spare the Christian baby?
June 15, 2025 at 11:32 PM
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merrittk.com
this is what happens when you die
theamitie.bsky.social Dolphin Pilot @theamitie.bsky.social · May 23
I forgot I downloaded this
May 23, 2025 at 3:31 AM
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lukelukeluke.bsky.social
If you’ve sent me a text and I didn’t respond please know that I didn’t forget you, you’ll live on in my subconscious as a vague sense of dread forever
May 13, 2025 at 12:55 PM
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billcorbett.bsky.social
“Bustin’ makes me feel good”
Screenshot of People Magazine article with photo of Queen Elizabeth Ii: “Queen Elizabeth’s Final Diary Entry Contained Only Fve Words.”
May 9, 2025 at 9:46 PM
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juniorhoncho.bsky.social
wrong
thumbnail for the movie Rear View Mirror featuring a side view mirror
March 15, 2025 at 10:54 PM
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scarredforlife.bsky.social
This early 90s pizza advert from America is horrifying. No matter where you *think* it's going, you're wrong...
April 28, 2025 at 8:22 PM
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acyn.bsky.social
Walz: If you say you love freedom but you don't believe freedom is for everybody, then the thing you love is not freedom, it is privilege.
April 24, 2025 at 12:23 AM
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rajandelman.bsky.social
The hard truth is that there are some products you just can't make in America. These must be imported from elsewhere. Like chocolates, for example. American workers will always become overwhelmed by the speed of the conveyor belt. They'll end up shoving the sweets into their mouths and blouses
April 10, 2025 at 3:39 AM
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mrlovenstein.bsky.social
April 9, 2025 at 4:44 PM
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dril.bsky.social
my hope is that AI can empower the Dumbest, Least talented slobs i know to replace everything i ever loved with One Million Years of Content
April 8, 2025 at 3:07 AM
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bencollins.bsky.social
me: Have you read the latest about Dora the Explorer feet mukbang? Did you know that IShowSpeed took China? Does the Big Balls cybercrime ring remain on the lam?

nurse, to my family: I'm sorry, it's time.
taylorlorenz.bsky.social Taylor Lorenz @taylorlorenz.bsky.social · Mar 27
Viralflation comes to YouTube, Dora the Explorer feet mukbang, IShowSpeed takes China, Big Balls cybercrime ring, 'influencer accent', IvyTok, AI-fueled fan fiction, Ghiblification, and a great new podcast on Section 230 -- All in today's newsletter!!
Viralflation comes to YouTube
+ Dora the Explorer feet mukbang, IShowSpeed takes China, Big Balls cybercrime ring, 'influencer accent', IvyTok, AI-fueled fan fiction, Ghiblification, and a great new podcast on Section 230
www.usermag.co
March 27, 2025 at 5:59 PM
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pixelatedboat.bsky.social
Every time I read The Great Gatsby, the final paragraph brings me to tears. Breathtakingly powerful writing:
"I'm alive!" said Gatsby, roaring past on a speedboat. He'd faked his own death and gotten away with everything. That's why they called him the Great Gatsby. "Out of the way, current!" he yelled at the water. "This speedboat is bearing me ceaselessly into the future!"
March 17, 2025 at 5:39 AM