P1Vicki
@vhoma.bsky.social
Tired of Twitter’s bs.
Love sports, funny, and dogs.
Any animal over most people.
Love sports, funny, and dogs.
Any animal over most people.
Whenever a bird shits on my car, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch, just to let them know what I’m capable of.
September 19, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Whenever a bird shits on my car, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch, just to let them know what I’m capable of.
Reposted by P1Vicki
[news anchor voice] in a very freaky friday type turn of events, the Dallas Cowboys have accidentally selected the new pope and the Catholic Church has accidentally drafted a linebacker
April 24, 2025 at 6:21 PM
[news anchor voice] in a very freaky friday type turn of events, the Dallas Cowboys have accidentally selected the new pope and the Catholic Church has accidentally drafted a linebacker
Reposted by P1Vicki
"What the fuck is wrong with people?" is a thought I shouldn't have to have as often as I do.
April 24, 2025 at 1:15 PM
"What the fuck is wrong with people?" is a thought I shouldn't have to have as often as I do.
Reposted by P1Vicki
Due to multiple malpractice lawsuits, (23), a certain soda has lost his medical license.
April 24, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Due to multiple malpractice lawsuits, (23), a certain soda has lost his medical license.
Reposted by P1Vicki
This is Tuna. You have once again taken him to the vet instead of the park. Fool him once, shame on you. Fool him twice, even more shame on you. 13/10 (IG: tunathekahuna)
April 24, 2025 at 6:42 PM
This is Tuna. You have once again taken him to the vet instead of the park. Fool him once, shame on you. Fool him twice, even more shame on you. 13/10 (IG: tunathekahuna)
Reposted by P1Vicki
putting in eye drops does not mean you are high but when you do not take your glasses off first it is a good indicator
December 27, 2024 at 2:43 PM
putting in eye drops does not mean you are high but when you do not take your glasses off first it is a good indicator
Reposted by P1Vicki
Do I like crows? How can I not admire anyone who puts their whole body into screaming when they receive a surprise french fry
December 28, 2024 at 6:12 AM
Do I like crows? How can I not admire anyone who puts their whole body into screaming when they receive a surprise french fry
Reposted by P1Vicki
Me: Where did the monkey come from? Why was it chasing the weasel? And what the fuck is a mulberry bush?
Them: We, uh, meant questions about the job.
Them: We, uh, meant questions about the job.
December 30, 2024 at 1:38 PM
Me: Where did the monkey come from? Why was it chasing the weasel? And what the fuck is a mulberry bush?
Them: We, uh, meant questions about the job.
Them: We, uh, meant questions about the job.
Reposted by P1Vicki
“Cease and desist,” because two lawyer-ish words that mean the exact same thing are scarier than just saying “stop,” I guess.
December 30, 2024 at 1:06 PM
“Cease and desist,” because two lawyer-ish words that mean the exact same thing are scarier than just saying “stop,” I guess.
Reposted by P1Vicki
Me: [gets hippopotamus for Christmas]
My cat (looking at his litter box): wtf
My cat (looking at his litter box): wtf
December 28, 2024 at 5:05 PM
Me: [gets hippopotamus for Christmas]
My cat (looking at his litter box): wtf
My cat (looking at his litter box): wtf
Reposted by P1Vicki
ME: people who have sex with the lights on should be called the illuminaughty
HER: *turns off her lamp, goes to sleep*
HER: *turns off her lamp, goes to sleep*
December 29, 2024 at 11:46 PM
ME: people who have sex with the lights on should be called the illuminaughty
HER: *turns off her lamp, goes to sleep*
HER: *turns off her lamp, goes to sleep*
Reposted by P1Vicki
Me: It doesn't have a tail, so I'm pretty sure it's a hamster.
Tech support: *sigh*
Fine. Right click on your hamster...
Tech support: *sigh*
Fine. Right click on your hamster...
December 27, 2024 at 5:53 PM
Me: It doesn't have a tail, so I'm pretty sure it's a hamster.
Tech support: *sigh*
Fine. Right click on your hamster...
Tech support: *sigh*
Fine. Right click on your hamster...
Reposted by P1Vicki
Human this is betrayal 😠🐶🤣
Drop a ❤️ if you have done this to your dog🤣, share with someone who finds this video funny, and tell us in the comments how it has reacted
#funnydogs #hungrydogs
Drop a ❤️ if you have done this to your dog🤣, share with someone who finds this video funny, and tell us in the comments how it has reacted
#funnydogs #hungrydogs
December 14, 2024 at 4:44 PM
Human this is betrayal 😠🐶🤣
Drop a ❤️ if you have done this to your dog🤣, share with someone who finds this video funny, and tell us in the comments how it has reacted
#funnydogs #hungrydogs
Drop a ❤️ if you have done this to your dog🤣, share with someone who finds this video funny, and tell us in the comments how it has reacted
#funnydogs #hungrydogs
Reposted by P1Vicki
mary: can you rub my feet
joseph: is there a way i can do that without actually touching them, and yet somehow, as if by magic, you still benefit?
mary: ok i can tell you're still angry
joseph: is there a way i can do that without actually touching them, and yet somehow, as if by magic, you still benefit?
mary: ok i can tell you're still angry
May 21, 2023 at 11:26 PM
mary: can you rub my feet
joseph: is there a way i can do that without actually touching them, and yet somehow, as if by magic, you still benefit?
mary: ok i can tell you're still angry
joseph: is there a way i can do that without actually touching them, and yet somehow, as if by magic, you still benefit?
mary: ok i can tell you're still angry
Reposted by P1Vicki
[I get home to find a note on the refrigerator that says "I'm leaving and i'm taking the kids"]
me: [unplugs fridge from power outlet] you're not going anywhere, you piece of shit
me: [unplugs fridge from power outlet] you're not going anywhere, you piece of shit
December 10, 2024 at 10:07 PM
[I get home to find a note on the refrigerator that says "I'm leaving and i'm taking the kids"]
me: [unplugs fridge from power outlet] you're not going anywhere, you piece of shit
me: [unplugs fridge from power outlet] you're not going anywhere, you piece of shit
The secret to having it all is knowing you already do.
December 14, 2024 at 3:24 AM
The secret to having it all is knowing you already do.
Reposted by P1Vicki
This rat I found refuses to teach me karate or buy me pizza.
December 9, 2024 at 4:18 AM
This rat I found refuses to teach me karate or buy me pizza.
Reposted by P1Vicki
I couldn't shoot a deer but under the right circumstances I would probably slap one in the face
December 8, 2024 at 5:38 PM
I couldn't shoot a deer but under the right circumstances I would probably slap one in the face
Reposted by P1Vicki
him: will you at least act normal when my folks get here
me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news
me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news
November 22, 2024 at 2:18 AM
him: will you at least act normal when my folks get here
me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news
me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news
Reposted by P1Vicki
Reposted by P1Vicki
Me *orders our food fluently in Italian to impress my date*
McDonalds drive-thru employee: what
McDonalds drive-thru employee: what
December 5, 2024 at 6:04 PM
Me *orders our food fluently in Italian to impress my date*
McDonalds drive-thru employee: what
McDonalds drive-thru employee: what
Reposted by P1Vicki
[autopsy observation]
student: What do you do first?
Me as a medical examiner: I poke ‘em with a stick.
student: What do you do first?
Me as a medical examiner: I poke ‘em with a stick.
December 5, 2024 at 5:58 AM
[autopsy observation]
student: What do you do first?
Me as a medical examiner: I poke ‘em with a stick.
student: What do you do first?
Me as a medical examiner: I poke ‘em with a stick.
Reposted by P1Vicki
Me trying to be funny "pics or it didn't happen"
Prosecutor *plays security video recorded in 4k*
Me "shit..."
Prosecutor *plays security video recorded in 4k*
Me "shit..."
December 3, 2024 at 9:01 PM
Me trying to be funny "pics or it didn't happen"
Prosecutor *plays security video recorded in 4k*
Me "shit..."
Prosecutor *plays security video recorded in 4k*
Me "shit..."
Reposted by P1Vicki
tradition is just peer pressure from dead people
December 2, 2024 at 5:26 AM
tradition is just peer pressure from dead people
Reposted by P1Vicki
ME *enjoying a pizza*: Mmm, just what the doctor ordered
{knock, knock}
ME *opening door*: Hello?
DOCTOR: Do you have my pizza?
{knock, knock}
ME *opening door*: Hello?
DOCTOR: Do you have my pizza?
December 3, 2024 at 2:50 PM
ME *enjoying a pizza*: Mmm, just what the doctor ordered
{knock, knock}
ME *opening door*: Hello?
DOCTOR: Do you have my pizza?
{knock, knock}
ME *opening door*: Hello?
DOCTOR: Do you have my pizza?