vaqueropants
@vaqueropants.bsky.social
grass got a restraining order so I'm here
Reposted by vaqueropants
Host: Let's play Wheel Of Ornithology!
Me: Are there any jays?
Host: No sorry
Me: I'd like to buy an owl
Me: Are there any jays?
Host: No sorry
Me: I'd like to buy an owl
July 23, 2025 at 12:46 PM
Host: Let's play Wheel Of Ornithology!
Me: Are there any jays?
Host: No sorry
Me: I'd like to buy an owl
Me: Are there any jays?
Host: No sorry
Me: I'd like to buy an owl
Reposted by vaqueropants
What if they made hot pockets but for non-sexual purposes like sustenance?
August 15, 2025 at 11:05 PM
What if they made hot pockets but for non-sexual purposes like sustenance?
Reposted by vaqueropants
Whenever I do any electric work I make involuntary monkey noises
August 19, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Whenever I do any electric work I make involuntary monkey noises
Reposted by vaqueropants
"What a shitshow," I say gleefully, as I put the little costumes on my turds.
June 30, 2025 at 10:21 PM
"What a shitshow," I say gleefully, as I put the little costumes on my turds.
Reposted by vaqueropants
using one of these to shut my dads casket but it misses and pulls him out
October 15, 2023 at 2:46 AM
using one of these to shut my dads casket but it misses and pulls him out
Reposted by vaqueropants
to cut onions without crying, make sure you don’t form an emotional bond
June 30, 2025 at 11:20 AM
to cut onions without crying, make sure you don’t form an emotional bond
I love so much that @johnleguizamo.bsky.social came on to the media arm of the Democratic party to flippantly say that he wants to declare independence from the Democratic party & name dropped democratic socialism! 🎉 😂
July 1, 2025 at 2:19 AM
I love so much that @johnleguizamo.bsky.social came on to the media arm of the Democratic party to flippantly say that he wants to declare independence from the Democratic party & name dropped democratic socialism! 🎉 😂
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ROSE: i love you
JACK: i adore you
ROSE: a door lol
JACK: *going under* lol
JACK: i adore you
ROSE: a door lol
JACK: *going under* lol
January 14, 2025 at 4:11 PM
ROSE: i love you
JACK: i adore you
ROSE: a door lol
JACK: *going under* lol
JACK: i adore you
ROSE: a door lol
JACK: *going under* lol
Reposted by vaqueropants
This is why Hakeem and Gillibrand and the party line Dems and consultants hate Zohran. They say they want a "Joe Rogan of the left" and it's clear that the Dems do not need that at all. Zohran fucks up the whole grift game.
He's pulling back the curtain and they're scared shitless.
He's pulling back the curtain and they're scared shitless.
June 29, 2025 at 6:28 PM
This is why Hakeem and Gillibrand and the party line Dems and consultants hate Zohran. They say they want a "Joe Rogan of the left" and it's clear that the Dems do not need that at all. Zohran fucks up the whole grift game.
He's pulling back the curtain and they're scared shitless.
He's pulling back the curtain and they're scared shitless.
Reposted by vaqueropants
Congress Passes Blank Bill For Trump To Write Whatever Law He Wants
theonion.com/congres...
theonion.com/congres...
Congress Passes Blank Bill For Trump To Write Whatever Law He Wants
WASHINGTON—After weeks of eliminating what many lawmakers called “frivolous” and “unnecessary” provisions, Congress reportedly passed a blank bill Thursday in which President Donald Trump can simply write whatever law he wants. “Today we are sending to the president’s desk 200 completely clean sheets of paper that are hereby codified such that anything he chooses to […]
theonion.com
June 29, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Congress Passes Blank Bill For Trump To Write Whatever Law He Wants
theonion.com/congres...
theonion.com/congres...
Reposted by vaqueropants
82% of Israelis support forced removal of all Palestinians from Gaza. Israelis aren’t an innocent peace-loving people at the mercy of a bad regime. They support awful policies in huge numbers. As a Jew I want nothing to do with them.
For the many who found it convenient to doubt the veracity of this, here it is in English Haaretz.
www.haaretz.com/israel-news/...
www.haaretz.com/israel-news/...
May 31, 2025 at 10:24 PM
82% of Israelis support forced removal of all Palestinians from Gaza. Israelis aren’t an innocent peace-loving people at the mercy of a bad regime. They support awful policies in huge numbers. As a Jew I want nothing to do with them.
Reposted by vaqueropants
My favourite advert in cinemas at the moment is Meta’s “we’re not listening to your voice notes or reading your WhatsApps”, an advert so counterproductive it brings tears of laughter to my eyes everytime. Hope it never ends.
May 31, 2025 at 4:47 PM
My favourite advert in cinemas at the moment is Meta’s “we’re not listening to your voice notes or reading your WhatsApps”, an advert so counterproductive it brings tears of laughter to my eyes everytime. Hope it never ends.
Cutting all NASA funding for Uranus Orbiter at the start of pride month is homophobia at its absolute worst.
May 31, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Cutting all NASA funding for Uranus Orbiter at the start of pride month is homophobia at its absolute worst.
Reposted by vaqueropants
Editor: You get the pictures for the air traffic controller story?
Photographer: Sure did boss. Real fucking sexy just like you asked.
Editor: What
Photographer: Sure did boss. Real fucking sexy just like you asked.
Editor: What
May 15, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Editor: You get the pictures for the air traffic controller story?
Photographer: Sure did boss. Real fucking sexy just like you asked.
Editor: What
Photographer: Sure did boss. Real fucking sexy just like you asked.
Editor: What
Reposted by vaqueropants
EVERY TIME YOU SAY IT IS ANTISEMITIC TO BE AGAINST KILLING PALESTINIANS, YOU'RE SAYING IT IS JEWISH TO MURDER
*THAT* IS THE ANTISEMITISM
*THAT* IS THE ANTISEMITISM
STOP SUGGESTING THAT IT IS ANTISEMITIC TO BE AGAINST MURDERING CHILDREN
YOU'RE LITERALLY PROPOSING THAT IT IS A JEWISH THING TO KILL KIDS
IT'S FUCKING ANTI-SEMITIC, YOU JERKS
YOU'RE LITERALLY PROPOSING THAT IT IS A JEWISH THING TO KILL KIDS
IT'S FUCKING ANTI-SEMITIC, YOU JERKS
May 13, 2025 at 4:26 PM
EVERY TIME YOU SAY IT IS ANTISEMITIC TO BE AGAINST KILLING PALESTINIANS, YOU'RE SAYING IT IS JEWISH TO MURDER
*THAT* IS THE ANTISEMITISM
*THAT* IS THE ANTISEMITISM
If the Trump administration really IS selling off our democracy piece by piece why can I STILL not find the the Voting Rights Act covered with Samuel Alito's urine on Facebook Marketplace? WHERE IS IT?!
May 7, 2025 at 11:56 PM
If the Trump administration really IS selling off our democracy piece by piece why can I STILL not find the the Voting Rights Act covered with Samuel Alito's urine on Facebook Marketplace? WHERE IS IT?!
In another sick throwback from the right, "Whoop! There it is!"
The U.S. is on track to have the worst whooping cough outbreak since 1948. Some regions are reporting that they are struggling to do contact tracing of cases because they are ALSO managing measles investigations.
And, of course, funding cuts to public health have resulted in fewer resources.
And, of course, funding cuts to public health have resulted in fewer resources.
May 7, 2025 at 11:53 PM
In another sick throwback from the right, "Whoop! There it is!"
Reposted by vaqueropants
Not AI. Just quality photo journalism
May 7, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Not AI. Just quality photo journalism
Reposted by vaqueropants
The U.S. is on track to have the worst whooping cough outbreak since 1948. Some regions are reporting that they are struggling to do contact tracing of cases because they are ALSO managing measles investigations.
And, of course, funding cuts to public health have resulted in fewer resources.
And, of course, funding cuts to public health have resulted in fewer resources.
May 7, 2025 at 7:18 PM
The U.S. is on track to have the worst whooping cough outbreak since 1948. Some regions are reporting that they are struggling to do contact tracing of cases because they are ALSO managing measles investigations.
And, of course, funding cuts to public health have resulted in fewer resources.
And, of course, funding cuts to public health have resulted in fewer resources.
Same. I suffer from Guybro Miyalgia
I’m thinking about having one of those fake medical conditions that makes you post a lot about having it and people kinda roll their eyes but don’t want to say anything about it publicly in case it’s real. I have rheumatoid tuberculosis
May 7, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Same. I suffer from Guybro Miyalgia
Reposted by vaqueropants
Sneak peak inside day one of the conclave
May 7, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Sneak peak inside day one of the conclave
Direct action gets the goods.
April 24, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Direct action gets the goods.
Reposted by vaqueropants
January 20, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Reposted by vaqueropants
my offer to america: we bring woke back
April 7, 2025 at 4:10 PM
my offer to america: we bring woke back