The American Jerk
theamericanjerk.bsky.social
The American Jerk
@theamericanjerk.bsky.social
I'm not answering any Goddamned questions without my lawyer here.
@scoop-adw.bsky.social Found the other pita-crazed cat.
December 25, 2025 at 10:53 PM
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my people
I think the 4K Blu-ray subreddit might be the least toxic male space online

OP: Upgraded my player!
First comment: Nice! What are you going to play on it first?!
Second comment: Not the OP but I would choose Gladiator!

I typed this from memory, but this is real, this is what happens on there
December 25, 2025 at 6:54 AM
Reposted by The American Jerk
Malört
I don’t give a shit about your accomplishments this year. What’s the dumbest shit you did the past 12 months? The truly stupidest decision you made in 2025?
December 24, 2025 at 11:12 PM
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December 24, 2025 at 2:48 PM
There are seven working defenses from this position. Three of them disarm with minimal contact. Three of them kill. The other — hurts Tiny Tim, who did NOT die
December 24, 2025 at 2:54 PM
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"The stockings were hung by the chimney in all possible directions, like with no care at all. Some of them are on the floor ffs. It's like a laundry basket was hurled at the goddam fireplace...and oh...fantastic...now here comes St Nicholas."
December 24, 2025 at 12:27 AM
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And to Tiny Tim, who did NOT die. He was unable to. He still walks among us, cursed to remember in a world where everyone has forgotten. He’s out there now, just beyond the light your lantern throws,
December 23, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Eephus was a killer indie flick this past year. If you like baseball, or New England, even a little bit, it's on Blu, hunt it up.
December 23, 2025 at 4:25 PM
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I’m still trick-or-treating. The people have run out of candy. One lady gave me the keys to her Buick. Another guy hit me with a broom
December 22, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Your parents refusing to allow you to turn off the motion smoothing on their TV should automatically trigger a mental health care proxy in your favor
December 23, 2025 at 2:40 PM
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i get why “jumping the shark” has come to have its present meaning but it doesn’t make historical sense to me. if i were a Happy Days fan and saw the Fonz waterski over a shark at that time i would have felt we’d just won the Cold War
December 23, 2025 at 4:28 AM
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EOY Mood, via @effinbirds.com.
December 22, 2025 at 3:16 PM
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🗡️
December 13, 2025 at 5:17 AM
If your first child requires a large, bright iPad to stop them from shrieking, and your second is on just their second week of solid food, why the FUCK are they, and YOU, sitting next to me in this bar?
December 13, 2025 at 11:30 PM
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Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves

Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars

Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
December 12, 2025 at 10:27 AM
December 10, 2025 at 10:54 PM
I am literally, as I am writing this, blowing away a perfectly good Windows 11 install on a laptop in favor of Linux Mint to avoid any of that that AI shit.
December 7, 2025 at 8:33 PM
I receive a tremendous amount of joy from following the adventures of the #Plundercats.
December 7, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Weird to remember that I used to get into literal screaming matches with my college roommates over whose turn it was to buy the milk when now, 30 years later, I only buy milk to make White Russians, which is only when I'm watching Lebowski, which isn't often.
December 7, 2025 at 12:04 AM
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New million dollar idea: I will make a bluesky client with no button to delete posts and I will name it yolo and we will call them yeets
December 5, 2025 at 10:57 PM
I just got tickets to see Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair in 70mm here in Boston next weekend.

I never bought the movie(s) on physical media because Tarantino promised us that Kill Bill was meant to be one epic movie.

I am excited. I feel vindicated. I hope Lions Gate Limited gives us a 4K Blu.
December 6, 2025 at 2:54 AM
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December 5, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Jesus Tapdancing Christ. Beverly Hills Stardate: 90210.
🚨 BREAKING - New Star Trek: #StarfleetAcademy Poster!

The first season of the new #StarTrek live-action series premieres January 15th on Paramount+

🖖 Will YOU be watching?
December 4, 2025 at 7:44 PM
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i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse
December 2, 2025 at 1:39 AM