The American Jerk
@theamericanjerk.bsky.social
I'm not answering any Goddamned questions without my lawyer here.
@scoop-adw.bsky.social Found the other pita-crazed cat.
December 25, 2025 at 10:53 PM
@scoop-adw.bsky.social Found the other pita-crazed cat.
Reposted by The American Jerk
my people
I think the 4K Blu-ray subreddit might be the least toxic male space online
OP: Upgraded my player!
First comment: Nice! What are you going to play on it first?!
Second comment: Not the OP but I would choose Gladiator!
I typed this from memory, but this is real, this is what happens on there
OP: Upgraded my player!
First comment: Nice! What are you going to play on it first?!
Second comment: Not the OP but I would choose Gladiator!
I typed this from memory, but this is real, this is what happens on there
December 25, 2025 at 6:54 AM
my people
Reposted by The American Jerk
Malört
I don’t give a shit about your accomplishments this year. What’s the dumbest shit you did the past 12 months? The truly stupidest decision you made in 2025?
December 24, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Malört
Reposted by The American Jerk
![Why is the cat screaming [pic of cat]
1. why wouldn't the cat scream
2. if you were smart, you'd be doing the same thing](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:dbzmdmsaz6lkhb4tv3culzme/bafkreieh465czg43heb6mpkgvaics4w4jmp3c2q7sghcryyiy6k4db2kau@jpeg)
There are seven working defenses from this position. Three of them disarm with minimal contact. Three of them kill. The other — hurts Tiny Tim, who did NOT die
December 24, 2025 at 2:54 PM
There are seven working defenses from this position. Three of them disarm with minimal contact. Three of them kill. The other — hurts Tiny Tim, who did NOT die
Reposted by The American Jerk
"The stockings were hung by the chimney in all possible directions, like with no care at all. Some of them are on the floor ffs. It's like a laundry basket was hurled at the goddam fireplace...and oh...fantastic...now here comes St Nicholas."
December 24, 2025 at 12:27 AM
"The stockings were hung by the chimney in all possible directions, like with no care at all. Some of them are on the floor ffs. It's like a laundry basket was hurled at the goddam fireplace...and oh...fantastic...now here comes St Nicholas."
Reposted by The American Jerk
And to Tiny Tim, who did NOT die. He was unable to. He still walks among us, cursed to remember in a world where everyone has forgotten. He’s out there now, just beyond the light your lantern throws,
December 23, 2025 at 9:55 PM
And to Tiny Tim, who did NOT die. He was unable to. He still walks among us, cursed to remember in a world where everyone has forgotten. He’s out there now, just beyond the light your lantern throws,
Eephus was a killer indie flick this past year. If you like baseball, or New England, even a little bit, it's on Blu, hunt it up.
I wrote about Eephus for this, but there was a lot of very compelling competition, much of which my coworkers covered. Pretty good year for watching stuff, all told! defector.com/the-best-thi...
The Best Things We Saw In 2025 | Defector
This is what the Defector staff saw and enjoyed this year. Eephus There was a time when I could text a friend about getting a drink at 4:50 p.m. and be drinking that beer with them an hour later, but ...
defector.com
December 23, 2025 at 4:25 PM
Eephus was a killer indie flick this past year. If you like baseball, or New England, even a little bit, it's on Blu, hunt it up.
Reposted by The American Jerk
I’m still trick-or-treating. The people have run out of candy. One lady gave me the keys to her Buick. Another guy hit me with a broom
December 22, 2025 at 1:18 PM
I’m still trick-or-treating. The people have run out of candy. One lady gave me the keys to her Buick. Another guy hit me with a broom
Your parents refusing to allow you to turn off the motion smoothing on their TV should automatically trigger a mental health care proxy in your favor
December 23, 2025 at 2:40 PM
Your parents refusing to allow you to turn off the motion smoothing on their TV should automatically trigger a mental health care proxy in your favor
Reposted by The American Jerk
i get why “jumping the shark” has come to have its present meaning but it doesn’t make historical sense to me. if i were a Happy Days fan and saw the Fonz waterski over a shark at that time i would have felt we’d just won the Cold War
December 23, 2025 at 4:28 AM
i get why “jumping the shark” has come to have its present meaning but it doesn’t make historical sense to me. if i were a Happy Days fan and saw the Fonz waterski over a shark at that time i would have felt we’d just won the Cold War
Reposted by The American Jerk
Reposted by The American Jerk
If your first child requires a large, bright iPad to stop them from shrieking, and your second is on just their second week of solid food, why the FUCK are they, and YOU, sitting next to me in this bar?
December 13, 2025 at 11:30 PM
If your first child requires a large, bright iPad to stop them from shrieking, and your second is on just their second week of solid food, why the FUCK are they, and YOU, sitting next to me in this bar?
Reposted by The American Jerk
Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
December 12, 2025 at 10:27 AM
Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
I am literally, as I am writing this, blowing away a perfectly good Windows 11 install on a laptop in favor of Linux Mint to avoid any of that that AI shit.
December 7, 2025 at 8:33 PM
I am literally, as I am writing this, blowing away a perfectly good Windows 11 install on a laptop in favor of Linux Mint to avoid any of that that AI shit.
I receive a tremendous amount of joy from following the adventures of the #Plundercats.
December 7, 2025 at 1:23 AM
I receive a tremendous amount of joy from following the adventures of the #Plundercats.
Weird to remember that I used to get into literal screaming matches with my college roommates over whose turn it was to buy the milk when now, 30 years later, I only buy milk to make White Russians, which is only when I'm watching Lebowski, which isn't often.
December 7, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Weird to remember that I used to get into literal screaming matches with my college roommates over whose turn it was to buy the milk when now, 30 years later, I only buy milk to make White Russians, which is only when I'm watching Lebowski, which isn't often.
Reposted by The American Jerk
New million dollar idea: I will make a bluesky client with no button to delete posts and I will name it yolo and we will call them yeets
December 5, 2025 at 10:57 PM
New million dollar idea: I will make a bluesky client with no button to delete posts and I will name it yolo and we will call them yeets
I just got tickets to see Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair in 70mm here in Boston next weekend.
I never bought the movie(s) on physical media because Tarantino promised us that Kill Bill was meant to be one epic movie.
I am excited. I feel vindicated. I hope Lions Gate Limited gives us a 4K Blu.
I never bought the movie(s) on physical media because Tarantino promised us that Kill Bill was meant to be one epic movie.
I am excited. I feel vindicated. I hope Lions Gate Limited gives us a 4K Blu.
December 6, 2025 at 2:54 AM
I just got tickets to see Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair in 70mm here in Boston next weekend.
I never bought the movie(s) on physical media because Tarantino promised us that Kill Bill was meant to be one epic movie.
I am excited. I feel vindicated. I hope Lions Gate Limited gives us a 4K Blu.
I never bought the movie(s) on physical media because Tarantino promised us that Kill Bill was meant to be one epic movie.
I am excited. I feel vindicated. I hope Lions Gate Limited gives us a 4K Blu.
Reposted by The American Jerk
Jesus Tapdancing Christ. Beverly Hills Stardate: 90210.
🚨 BREAKING - New Star Trek: #StarfleetAcademy Poster!
The first season of the new #StarTrek live-action series premieres January 15th on Paramount+
🖖 Will YOU be watching?
The first season of the new #StarTrek live-action series premieres January 15th on Paramount+
🖖 Will YOU be watching?
December 4, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Jesus Tapdancing Christ. Beverly Hills Stardate: 90210.
Reposted by The American Jerk
i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse
December 2, 2025 at 1:39 AM
i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse