Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
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swordgoesfwoosh.bsky.social
Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
@swordgoesfwoosh.bsky.social
I am extremely powerful.
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#deer 🦌
November 20, 2025 at 2:25 AM
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November 18, 2025 at 10:23 PM
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chatgpt is down, post handmade em dashes
November 18, 2025 at 2:14 PM
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i looked too quickly and thought she was looking at a picture of a shark hitting a vape
November 18, 2025 at 10:33 PM
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whenever the sun sets at 4:45 pm i open a window, lean out and yell "WRONG" as loud as i can. that usually buys me another hour or two of sunlight
November 17, 2025 at 9:48 PM
When I grow up I wanna be an agentic AI
November 13, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Omniposting.
November 11, 2025 at 10:36 PM
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November 11, 2025 at 6:14 PM
I am actually immortal, whenever I die I can just turn back time and stop that. It's really annoying.
November 11, 2025 at 6:06 PM
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(Waiter accidentally brings me the wrong dish)

Friend: "Wait, isn't that chicken? I thought you were vegan?"

Me:
November 10, 2025 at 7:18 AM
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tears are just eye piss
November 9, 2025 at 6:40 PM
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I’m sorry, Mom, I can’t help you at your house today; I’m too busy watching unhinged Minecraft content on TikTok.
November 3, 2025 at 8:04 PM
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why can’t the side effects from a prescription be something cool like levitation or the ability to cast spells
October 28, 2025 at 2:45 PM
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Frictionless brain activity
October 28, 2025 at 3:24 PM
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October 29, 2025 at 12:09 PM
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They have invented a new kind of porn
October 27, 2025 at 7:15 AM
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October 27, 2025 at 7:30 AM
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October 27, 2025 at 7:34 AM
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GO! MY labubu_missile! KILL!!
September 28, 2025 at 11:47 PM
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Introducing my poker loving dad to cocaine
October 12, 2025 at 10:12 PM
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> It is 2025 BC. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis

> It is 2025 AD. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis
October 11, 2025 at 5:32 PM
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Feel like Waluigi would be on the Epstein flight logs but not Wario and I think that’s the fundamental difference between the characters
October 12, 2025 at 3:26 AM
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October 9, 2025 at 11:25 PM
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Not a cell phone in sight. Just ppl living in the moment
September 27, 2025 at 5:55 AM
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It finally came true…
September 25, 2025 at 8:02 AM