Steve Suckington
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stevesuckington.bsky.social
Steve Suckington
@stevesuckington.bsky.social
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jesus christ just tell us if it’s maybelline
Reposted by Steve Suckington
If you say you’re going to do something, do it.
my dad always said he was gonna get drunk then by god he would
November 11, 2025 at 4:28 AM
Reposted by Steve Suckington
me at 17: I can't let anyone find out that I like Matchbox Twenty. that would be so embarrassing

me in my 30's:
November 11, 2025 at 4:39 AM
If you say you’re going to do something, do it.
my dad always said he was gonna get drunk then by god he would
November 11, 2025 at 4:28 AM
Reposted by Steve Suckington
Would you like to stay logged in? Okay we'll log you out
November 7, 2025 at 1:32 PM
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Speed dating is when you have to tell Keanu Reeves a little bit about yourself or this bus will explode
November 10, 2025 at 2:15 PM
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Hey Friends, if you're looking for comedy, I've got you covered
November 10, 2025 at 12:40 PM
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[movie studio]

ME: BUT HOW DOES THE INVISIBLE MAN KNOW WHEN TO STOP WIPING?

TOUR GUIDE: *into walkie talkie* code orange, he’s back.
November 10, 2025 at 6:57 PM
the jokes on you guy who told me to go fuck myself. i was going to do that anyway
November 9, 2025 at 5:02 AM
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What do you guys think is the wiener situation with robocop?
January 24, 2025 at 6:48 AM
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and will it fit in a kia
November 7, 2025 at 4:48 AM
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I'll never forget my dad's last words: "It's way past Halloween. Why's this caution tape still on the elevator?"
November 5, 2025 at 5:39 PM
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at my divorce hearing they said we could change our names to whatever we wanted but it had to be decided before we adjourned

your honor, you gotta give me a friggen heads up
November 7, 2025 at 3:38 AM
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when will a frankenstein movie be brave enough to let us see the doctor choosing the dick
November 7, 2025 at 9:40 AM
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Hi I am dingle by chance
November 8, 2025 at 6:21 AM
50% of rabbit foot keychains are actually rabbit hand keychains
November 8, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Reposted by Steve Suckington
[hot ones]
me: *finishes off gallon of milk*
sean evans: ok are you ready for your first wing
November 8, 2025 at 3:29 AM
oh my god Becky look at her butt.
Haha totally made u do sexual harassment Becky
November 7, 2025 at 5:27 AM
welcome to Yamaha. do you want a piano or a motorcycle?
November 6, 2025 at 5:27 AM
imagine being in The Beach Boys and that one guy was always like, hey how about a song about surfing
November 5, 2025 at 5:33 AM
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it was years later that i learned the firemen don’t chop the fire with the axe, it’s more of a support tool
October 30, 2025 at 2:27 AM
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It is my sincere belief that my office chair is ruining my body and possibly my entire life
November 4, 2025 at 5:08 PM
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your porn star name is your mother's maiden name and the last four digits of your SSN
October 27, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Reposted by Steve Suckington
There was a mistranslation in the 10 commandments. God actually said "you shall not *cover* your neighbor's wife." He was saying to let her go if she's running a slant route against zone defense.
November 4, 2025 at 11:13 PM
if you claim to have grown up poor and you don’t know what a mayonnaise cheese sandwich is im sorry but get fucked
November 4, 2025 at 4:30 AM
Reposted by Steve Suckington
kindness is free. for an ad-free kindness experience, upgrade to kindness+ starting at $15.99 a month
November 3, 2025 at 9:06 PM