geoffrey
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parsnip.bsky.social
geoffrey
@parsnip.bsky.social
festive seasonal homosexual, tinned fish enthusiast, citrus enjoyer, los angeles evangelist, he/him
made @fionaapplebot.bsky.social
🗡️🦐
Pinned
"but bro," he grunted between reps. "i am pagliacci."
thinking, for no particular reason, about the fevered ramp-up of "has me too gone too far?" in our storied legacy publications
In an interview with NPR, Melinda French Gates confirmed that she ended her marriage with Bill Gates because of allegations contained in the Epstein files.
February 3, 2026 at 7:03 PM
it is a truth universally acknowledged that when you have to be up in less than six hours lapd will circle a helicopter overhead for half an hour
February 3, 2026 at 9:49 AM
Reposted by geoffrey
sorry boss, they slashed the budget for subtlety, best i can do is a parable
February 2, 2026 at 9:33 PM
alright. it's time to go back to the old me
February 3, 2026 at 6:44 AM
Reposted by geoffrey
presidency explicitly soliciting bribes receives record number of bribes
February 3, 2026 at 12:12 AM
you know what’s a good contraction. amn’t. as in i am not. i think it would prove superior to “i’m not.” if we gave it a chance
February 3, 2026 at 4:29 AM
do not speak to me of my post from 2am this morning. i was a different person then. it's none of my business
February 3, 2026 at 2:34 AM
Reposted by geoffrey
I hope that this pushes off the planned occupation
BREAKING: Judge Ana Reyes, in DC, issues a stay of DHS Sec. Noem’s decision to end Haiti’s temporary protected status (TPS) designation, a decision that was to go into effect on Tuesday and could have ended legal status for up to 350,000 people overnight. storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
February 3, 2026 at 1:34 AM
mom all my friends in new york have one can we get one too
February 3, 2026 at 2:14 AM
sign of the times: whenever i scroll past an unplayed video that opens on a shaky frame like this i reflexively assume it is people being tear gassed by the government
AOC on ICE: It’s our task to figure out how to claw back what has essentially supercharged this agency into becoming a relentless domestic paramilitary that is also a blank check to Palantir to create facial-recognition scans on U.S. citizens.
February 3, 2026 at 2:05 AM
when me and the girls stand outside the gym together after our workout we are always talking about the first lady's slay. period, sis
Of all the things in the history of the world that definitely did not happen - this is the pinnacle.
February 3, 2026 at 1:52 AM
seems like all of this is maybe going to crop up as a problem whenever the department of justice tries to prosecute an actual criminal again
Breaking: Eight more prosecutors are leaving the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Minnesota, including Ana Voss, the current civil division chief, the Star Tribune reports.

www.startribune.com/ice-raids-mi...
February 3, 2026 at 12:31 AM
Reposted by geoffrey
Over a dozen prosecutors leaving one office? This is why the admin has been reduced to posting on Twitter like 'DM me if you want to be an AUSA'
Breaking: Eight more prosecutors are leaving the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Minnesota, including Ana Voss, the current civil division chief, the Star Tribune reports.

www.startribune.com/ice-raids-mi...
February 3, 2026 at 12:27 AM
presidency explicitly soliciting bribes receives record number of bribes
February 3, 2026 at 12:12 AM
Reposted by geoffrey
i personally think it's admirable that MY president is so committed to the work that he refuses to waste The People's time "pooping in the bathroom"
February 1, 2026 at 9:29 PM
foxes roll out new efforts to fortify, secure henhouse, details tk
February 2, 2026 at 10:06 PM
just a plain as day "i was promised that traumatizing other people's children would result in safety for my children," huh
February 2, 2026 at 9:27 PM
Reposted by geoffrey
who is this diva
February 2, 2026 at 8:22 PM
libertarians shocked to discover libertarianism
I’m sorry but what did libertarians think that the anonymous money laundering racism coin that you could only functionally use for illicit activity was doing other than this, exactly
February 2, 2026 at 9:10 PM
Reposted by geoffrey
the reason every right wing billionaire (and aspirant) converged on misogynist white-supremacist post-christian millenarianism is because they see themselves as a future cult leader with a harem of children to rape while lording over their own modern barony carved out of the corpse of America.
February 2, 2026 at 8:28 PM
donald trump mind palace infiltration
this epstein shit the type of worldbuilding I get mad at persona games for
February 2, 2026 at 8:19 PM
Reposted by geoffrey
January 31, 2026 at 5:51 PM
unfortunately due to material conditions every recipe site is like "cozy soups for the winter chill ☺️" when my week looks like this
February 2, 2026 at 8:06 PM
[witnessing crises not seen since the mid-20th century, 1800s, and 1700s, respectively] gosh i should probably make a grocery list
February 2, 2026 at 7:50 PM
seems bad
February 2, 2026 at 7:37 PM