Jill Twiss
@jilltwiss.bsky.social
Comedy writer. "Have I Got News For You", "Last Week Tonight", "The Amber Ruffin Show." Author of "A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo" and "The Someone New." Friend to several penguins.
Pinned
Jill Twiss
@jilltwiss.bsky.social
· Apr 4
My body is not cut out to be this furious all the time. I am built for naming dogs Doctor Reginald Pancakes and telling people about the time two bees stung me while I was on the toilet
I thought W. Heights was the character’s name for a minute and let me tell you, I was thrilled
February 10, 2026 at 2:40 PM
I thought W. Heights was the character’s name for a minute and let me tell you, I was thrilled
the twizzles never lie
February 10, 2026 at 3:41 AM
the twizzles never lie
i can tell in my heart if the ice dancers are in love
February 10, 2026 at 3:18 AM
i can tell in my heart if the ice dancers are in love
is it the decade 2000-2010?
HBO Max’s highly anticipated Harry Potter series, coming to the streamer in 2027, will be “the streaming event of the decade,” JB Perrette, CEO and president of global streaming & games at Warner Bros. Discovery said in London on Monday. At least that!
‘Harry Potter’ HBO Max Series Will Be the “Streaming Event of the Decade” – At Least, WBD Top Exec Says
HBO Max’s highly anticipated Harry Potter series, coming to the streamer in 2027, will be “the streaming event of the decade,” JB Perrette, CEO and president of global streaming & games at Warner Bros. Discovery said in London on Monday. At least that!
bit.ly
February 9, 2026 at 7:16 PM
is it the decade 2000-2010?
hope to get married onstage at the National Spelling Bee
That was a real wedding during Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl Halftime Show. His reps confirmed the happy couple are irl in love. And yet, conservatives still said the show was an affront to American values.
That Was a Real Wedding During Bad Bunny’s Halftime Show
That was a real wedding during Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl Halftime Show. His reps confirmed the happy couple are irl in love. And yet, conservatives still said the show was an affront to American values.
www.vulture.com
February 9, 2026 at 3:08 AM
hope to get married onstage at the National Spelling Bee
People are furious! "Zamboni is definitely a foreign name," they scream.
February 9, 2026 at 12:24 AM
People are furious! "Zamboni is definitely a foreign name," they scream.
I have chosen to watch a replay of Men's Figure Skating but I shall post as though it is the Super Bowl (HALFTIME SHOW IS A ZAMBONI!)
February 9, 2026 at 12:12 AM
I have chosen to watch a replay of Men's Figure Skating but I shall post as though it is the Super Bowl (HALFTIME SHOW IS A ZAMBONI!)
I am reading your book right now AND YOUR ART IS SO GOOD
February 8, 2026 at 10:51 PM
I am reading your book right now AND YOUR ART IS SO GOOD
extremely funny that the next commercial is for diapers
February 8, 2026 at 9:40 PM
extremely funny that the next commercial is for diapers
what a great place to meet family!
February 8, 2026 at 9:26 PM
what a great place to meet family!
i don't think we talk enough about how bad the entire administration must SMELL
February 8, 2026 at 8:46 PM
i don't think we talk enough about how bad the entire administration must SMELL
gonna GO by. Sorry, i got so excited to share this Select Bitch with you
February 8, 2026 at 7:19 PM
gonna GO by. Sorry, i got so excited to share this Select Bitch with you
I went to the Meet the Breeds event for the Westminster Dog Show and a woman told me her dog was chosen as a “Select Bitch”. So anyway, that’s what I’m gonna by now
February 8, 2026 at 7:15 PM
I went to the Meet the Breeds event for the Westminster Dog Show and a woman told me her dog was chosen as a “Select Bitch”. So anyway, that’s what I’m gonna by now
DON'T TALK TO ME TILL I'VE HAD MY FERMENTS
RFK Jr on what he'll eat during the Super Bowl: "I am on a carnivore diet so I just eat meat and ferments, and I'm very happy with that. So I'm probably going to have yogurt."
February 8, 2026 at 6:36 PM
DON'T TALK TO ME TILL I'VE HAD MY FERMENTS
SHE LET ME PET HER. she did not like it, but she also did not kill me
February 8, 2026 at 6:30 PM
SHE LET ME PET HER. she did not like it, but she also did not kill me
Ah yes, I do choose which books to read based on “who wrote the most of them this year”
I'm going to win.
February 8, 2026 at 5:45 PM
Ah yes, I do choose which books to read based on “who wrote the most of them this year”
Reposted by Jill Twiss
UK Traitors: win or lose I’m well chuffed from making some good mates
US Traitors: My name is The Botox Bitch and I will have your children killed
US Traitors: My name is The Botox Bitch and I will have your children killed
February 8, 2026 at 5:29 PM
UK Traitors: win or lose I’m well chuffed from making some good mates
US Traitors: My name is The Botox Bitch and I will have your children killed
US Traitors: My name is The Botox Bitch and I will have your children killed
I do. She thus far will not eat it
February 8, 2026 at 12:32 PM
I do. She thus far will not eat it
Reposted by Jill Twiss
TONIGHT!! Senator Adam Schiff @schiff.senate.gov and Comedian, Actor & Producer @hasanminhaj.com join the panel on an ALL NEW episode of Have I Got News For You 9p ET on CNN and streaming next day on the CNN app.
February 7, 2026 at 11:20 PM
TONIGHT!! Senator Adam Schiff @schiff.senate.gov and Comedian, Actor & Producer @hasanminhaj.com join the panel on an ALL NEW episode of Have I Got News For You 9p ET on CNN and streaming next day on the CNN app.